The poetical works of Sir John Denham Edited with notes and introduction by Theodore Howard Banks |
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| Appendix A. POEMS OF UNCERTAIN AUTHORSHIP
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 | The poetical works of Sir John Denham |  |
311
Appendix A. POEMS OF UNCERTAIN AUTHORSHIP
THE FAMOUS BATTEL OF THE CATTS
What wild Fanatick broke his Cage?
The Valiant Catti to engage,
Into this more then Civil Rage?
The Valiant Catti to engage,
Into this more then Civil Rage?
Alass, I need not question that,
It was the Egyptian God, the Ratt,
Trapan'd the poor Ultonian Catt.
It was the Egyptian God, the Ratt,
Trapan'd the poor Ultonian Catt.
Though Ireland of no Venome boasts,
Supplanters plant (in mighty Hosts)
Reforming Ratts on all her Coasts:
Supplanters plant (in mighty Hosts)
Reforming Ratts on all her Coasts:
These Vermin soon together get,
And being all on Mischief set,
Form'd in a dark Assembly, met.
And being all on Mischief set,
Form'd in a dark Assembly, met.
One goodly Ratt above the rest,
Since He was biggest, would be best,
Stood forth, (his Paw upon his Breast.)
Since He was biggest, would be best,
Stood forth, (his Paw upon his Breast.)
This Ratt was Hee, a Ratt of Fame,
Who all things but himself o'recame,
And Rattamountain was his name:
Who all things but himself o'recame,
And Rattamountain was his name:
312
He all the Rules and Tricks could show,
Both Arts of War, and Peace did know,
To cheat a Friend or spoil a Foe.
Both Arts of War, and Peace did know,
To cheat a Friend or spoil a Foe.
The Chair, the Chair, they cry'd (whereat
He smil'd at first, and then down sate
This over-undertaking Ratt.
He smil'd at first, and then down sate
This over-undertaking Ratt.
Then they began, since I alone
Must speak, whate're I touch upon,
Shall be cleer Demonstration;
Must speak, whate're I touch upon,
Shall be cleer Demonstration;
They made us Golden Gods, and then,
Ador'd us at our Shrines, but when
Saw ye one Ratt that worship't men?
Ador'd us at our Shrines, but when
Saw ye one Ratt that worship't men?
Did not our Troops devoure all Thrace,
Not only beasts, but human Race,
And left them neither name, nor place;
Not only beasts, but human Race,
And left them neither name, nor place;
And did we not neer Mentz devour,
Their Prelate (Maugre all his power)
Whence still 'tis call'd the rattin tower,
Their Prelate (Maugre all his power)
Whence still 'tis call'd the rattin tower,
And having slain one Bishop Prince,
Princes and Bishops ever since,
We into popular Classes Mince.
Princes and Bishops ever since,
We into popular Classes Mince.
Did we not since destroy and spoile
In one short night, Bermudas Isle?
And eat up all the Planters toil.
In one short night, Bermudas Isle?
And eat up all the Planters toil.
In all Records our Honour Lives,
But the vile Cat (who 'gainst us strives)
From th'Alchoran his birth derives:
But the vile Cat (who 'gainst us strives)
From th'Alchoran his birth derives:
The Lyon, (if that Legend's true)
Did sneeze, and from his Nostrels threw
A Catt, which instantly cry'd Mew.
Did sneeze, and from his Nostrels threw
A Catt, which instantly cry'd Mew.
313
Since Catts the Lyon's Nature share,
We for the Great as little care;
Who Rampant Passant, Guardant are.
We for the Great as little care;
Who Rampant Passant, Guardant are.
How long shall they devour us thus?
Ye know one Whittingtonian Puss
Slew Legions of the best of us;
Ye know one Whittingtonian Puss
Slew Legions of the best of us;
No mortal power could us annoy,
If Unity we could Injoy,
We our Destroyers should destroy,
If Unity we could Injoy,
We our Destroyers should destroy,
Then let's Unite, and break their pride,
Make Catts against the Catts to side,
(Those may Command, who can divide:)
Make Catts against the Catts to side,
(Those may Command, who can divide:)
All weaker States that would surprise
The stronger, prudently advise
How to make Parties, and Allies.
The stronger, prudently advise
How to make Parties, and Allies.
I now a People shall make known,
Who under like oppression groan,
Whose Interest and ours are one.
Who under like oppression groan,
Whose Interest and ours are one.
I know you'll quickly smell a Ratt,
(Then this is it I would be at)
Ingage the Mouse against the Catt.
(Then this is it I would be at)
Ingage the Mouse against the Catt.
Our Cause, when they to us resort,
Three strong Militia's shall support,
From City, Countrey, and from Court.
Three strong Militia's shall support,
From City, Countrey, and from Court.
Though Millions in a Battle dy,
Our Race with their Infinity
Will us with fresh recruits supply.
Our Race with their Infinity
Will us with fresh recruits supply.
The Anti-Gresham Stagyrit
Says he Beheld with great delight
This strange Supersœtatious sight.
Says he Beheld with great delight
This strange Supersœtatious sight.
314
A Female of the Persian Ratts
Brought forth at once full sixscore Bratts;
Nay more, (now look about you Catts.)
Brought forth at once full sixscore Bratts;
Nay more, (now look about you Catts.)
The young were big with young, before
Their birth, with many hundreds more,
And she her Childrens Children bore.
Their birth, with many hundreds more,
And she her Childrens Children bore.
George Pine, to us thou art an Ass,
One year thy Hundred did surpass,
Amongst thy four, shew one such Lass:
One year thy Hundred did surpass,
Amongst thy four, shew one such Lass:
Thy Island in a hundred years,
(As on thy own Account appears)
But only twice six thousand bears.
(As on thy own Account appears)
But only twice six thousand bears.
And now to make your Grandure rise
Form into Assemblies your supplies,
To rescue your old Liberties:
Form into Assemblies your supplies,
To rescue your old Liberties:
No Petifoggers shall set Traps,
By Nusance stop our holes, and gaps,
Nor Quacks, with Arsnick give us Claps,
By Nusance stop our holes, and gaps,
Nor Quacks, with Arsnick give us Claps,
Nor no Owl-Constable by night,
Shall seize the less, or greater fright,
Though they have Bills, yet we can bite.
Shall seize the less, or greater fright,
Though they have Bills, yet we can bite.
Now let us close in joynt consent,
That with the Mice we are content
To share the Spoil and Government:
That with the Mice we are content
To share the Spoil and Government:
And when our Common-wealth prefers
Their Members, we will be the Peers,
And honest Mice the Commoners:
Their Members, we will be the Peers,
And honest Mice the Commoners:
And when this Order's Rattifi'd,
They on our Honours may confide,
The Deans and Chapters to divide.
They on our Honours may confide,
The Deans and Chapters to divide.
315
Pardon this boldness, nor seem nice,
(For when we have to do with Mice,)
Quibble and Wit bear equal price.
(For when we have to do with Mice,)
Quibble and Wit bear equal price.
To shew I am a Ratt of sense,
All my Proposals I Commence,
From Reason and Experience.
All my Proposals I Commence,
From Reason and Experience.
I'le all in one advice give in:
If from the English Catts you'll win
Trophies, with Ireland first begin.
If from the English Catts you'll win
Trophies, with Ireland first begin.
Thus Rattamountain, Then they call,
That the Word might be, Have at all,
In Ulster they will stand and fall;
That the Word might be, Have at all,
In Ulster they will stand and fall;
Their Agitator then they name,
Active Mac-Ratt, who (swift as Fame)
On crooked errands went and came.
Active Mac-Ratt, who (swift as Fame)
On crooked errands went and came.
Who straight from Ireland answer made,
That he had their Commands obey'd,
And all the trains of mischief laid.
That he had their Commands obey'd,
And all the trains of mischief laid.
So Lull'd asleep the Catti were,
His Arts had them secur'd from fear,
But what did from themselves appear,
His Arts had them secur'd from fear,
But what did from themselves appear,
Yet all that Rattamountain knew,
Or diligent Mac-Ratt could shew,
Was vain, to that which did insue.
Or diligent Mac-Ratt could shew,
Was vain, to that which did insue.
Soon as the Moon in Cancer rose,
Into the Tiberts brains she throws
Such rage, as all their plots out-goes.
Into the Tiberts brains she throws
Such rage, as all their plots out-goes.
Three hundred Catts on Ulsters shore
Each with nine Lives (that's nine times more)
Into the field their Colours bore.
Each with nine Lives (that's nine times more)
Into the field their Colours bore.
316
The Field, a Gutter which did run
Blood, (which the name of Field may own,
As Jambah that of Islington.)
Blood, (which the name of Field may own,
As Jambah that of Islington.)
Long time the fight so equal was,
The greater half fell on the place,
Nor Quarter given in the Chace;
The greater half fell on the place,
Nor Quarter given in the Chace;
But their most hideous Catterwaule,
With the Allarm it gave, did all
Th'Ultonian Ratts together call.
With the Allarm it gave, did all
Th'Ultonian Ratts together call.
Lest they should no Interment have,
To the departed Catts, a grave
The Ratts in their own bowels gave.
To the departed Catts, a grave
The Ratts in their own bowels gave.
They at Bonratty, (so says fame)
To Rebels bodies did the same,
(This place and that may bear one name.)
To Rebels bodies did the same,
(This place and that may bear one name.)
Now the Staggs Duel's out of door,
The Cause was great, the Effect was poor,
I saw two Savage Lice do more.
The Cause was great, the Effect was poor,
I saw two Savage Lice do more.
Staggs are not so, t'whom Grass gives food,
But Catts and Lice, who feast on blood,
For savage beasts are understood.
But Catts and Lice, who feast on blood,
For savage beasts are understood.
Two Staggs Militia's were but four,
Nothing to what the Tiberts bore,
For each having nine lives, had more.
Nothing to what the Tiberts bore,
For each having nine lives, had more.
Mac-Ratt is now return'd, t'invite
Those Ratts, who scap'd by Londons Light,
To march through Scotland in the night;
Those Ratts, who scap'd by Londons Light,
To march through Scotland in the night;
And with the Highland Ratts t'agree
To pass Dunbartons narrow sea,
To accomplish this Cattastrophe.
To pass Dunbartons narrow sea,
To accomplish this Cattastrophe.
317
The Isle of Ratts when they those boggs
Shall dispossess of Irish froggs,
Will goe beyond our Isle of Doggs.
Shall dispossess of Irish froggs,
Will goe beyond our Isle of Doggs.
There shall we see the new rais'd Throne,
Of Rattamountain in his own
Metropolis, Hight Rattisbone.
Of Rattamountain in his own
Metropolis, Hight Rattisbone.
Some Irish Bard thy skill bequeath,
To charm our English Poets breath,
Like thee to Rhime our Ratts to death;
To charm our English Poets breath,
Like thee to Rhime our Ratts to death;
Else we are sou'st in our old Pickle,
For now or never we must stickle,
When Playhouse turns to Conventicle.
For now or never we must stickle,
When Playhouse turns to Conventicle.
SATIRES ON SIR WILLIAM DAVENANT'S GONDIBERT
TO SIR W. DAVENANT
1
After so many sad mis-haps,Of drinking, riming, and of claps,
I pitty most thy last relaps.
2
That having past the Soldiers pains,The States-mens Arts, the Seamens gains,
With Gondibert to break thy brains.
318
3
And so incessantly to ply it,To sacrifice thy sleep, thy diet,
Thy businesse; and what's more, our quiet.
4
And all this stir to make a story,Not much superior to John Dory,
Which thus in brief I lay before ye.
5
All in the land of Lombardie,A Wight there was of Knights degree,
Sir Gondibert ycleap'd was he.
6
This Gondibert (as says our Author)Got the good will of the Kings daughter,
A shame it seems, the Divel ought her.
319
7
So thus succeeded his Disaster,Being sure of the Daughter of his Master,
He chang'd his Princess for a Playster.
8
Of person he was not ungratious,Grave in Debate, in Fight audacious;
But in his Ale most pervicatious.
9
And this was cause of his sad Fate,For in a Drunken street-Debate
One night, he got a broken Pate.
10
Then being Cur'd, he would not tarry,But needs this simpling girl would marry
Of Astragon the Apothecary.
11
To make the thing yet more Romancie,Both wise and rich you may him fancie;
Yet he in both came short of Plancy.
12
And for the Damsel, he did wooe so,To say the truth, she was but so-so,
Not much unlike her of Toboso.
13
Her beauty, though 'twas not exceeding,Yet what in Face and shape was needing,
She made it up in Parts and Breeding.
14
Though all the Science she was rich in,Both of the Dairy and the Kitchin:
Yet she had knowledge more bewitching.
320
15
For she had learn'd her Fathers skill,Both of th'Alimbick and the Still,
The Purge, the Potion, and the Pill.
16
But her chief Talent was a Glister,And such a hand to administer,
As on the Breech hath made no blister.
17
So well she handled Gondibert,That though she did not hurt that part,
She made a blister on his heart.
18
Into the Garden of her Father:Garden, said I; or Back-side rather,
One night she went a Rose to gather.
19
The Knight he was not far behind,Full soon he had her in the wind;
(For Love can smell, though he be blind.)
20
Her businesse she had finish'd scarcely,When on a gentle bed of Parsly
Full fair & soft he made her Arse-ly.
Desunt caetera
A LETTER SENT TO THE GOOD KNIGHT
Thou hast not been thus long neglected,
But we thy four best friends expected,
Ere this time thou hadst stood corrected.
But we thy four best friends expected,
Ere this time thou hadst stood corrected.
321
But since that Planet governs still,
That rules thy tedious Fustian Quill
'Gainst Nature and the Muses will.
That rules thy tedious Fustian Quill
'Gainst Nature and the Muses will.
When by thy friend's advice and care,
'Twas hop'd in time thou wouldst despaire
To give ten pounds to write it faire.
'Twas hop'd in time thou wouldst despaire
To give ten pounds to write it faire.
Lest thou to all the world wouldst shew it,
We thought it fit to let thee know it,
Thou art a damn'd insipid Poet.
We thought it fit to let thee know it,
Thou art a damn'd insipid Poet.
TO DAPHNE:
On his Incomparable Incomprehensible Poem Gondibert.
Chear up small Wits; now you shall crowned be;Daphne himself is turn'd into a tree.
(Nor think it strange, for our great Author can
Clap stones to Hirmigil, and make her Man:)
Goe gather sprigs, nor can you strip him bare,
For all the ancient Wreaths fall to his share.
Poor Homer's eyes by his unshaded light
Again put out, who bids the world Good-night,
And is as much eclips'd by one more blind,
As is his by our new Hectors out-shin'd:
Virgil, thou hast no Wit, and Naso is
More short of Will, then is Will's Nose of his;
Can silence Tasso, and the Fairy-Queen,
Though all by Will unread, and most unseen.
Nor shall we ere hear more of great Tom-thumb,
For Gondibert and Oswald strike all dumb.
Thus then secur'd, thy Babe shall not miscarry,
Since all do bow to Fames Fine Secretary.
So have I heard the great Leviathan,
Let me speak true, and not bely a man,
Reign in the Deep and with tyrannick Power
Both Costick Codd, and squallid Sprats devour.
322
AN ESSAY IN EXPLANATION OF MR. HOBBS,
Where he tells the Author, The Vertues you distribute there among so many Noble persons, represent the Image but of one Mans Vertue to my Fancy, which is your own.
Canto 1.
1
Of all Ill Poets by their Lumber known,Who nere Fame's favor wore, yet sought them long,
Sir Daphne gives precedency to none,
And breeds most business for abstersive Song.
2
From untaught Childhood, to mistaking Man,An ill-performing Agent to the Stage;
With Albovin in Lumber he began,
With Gondibert in Lumber ends his rage.
3
Rime was his studied Art; Rime which was bad;Rime meant for charms to keep the devil in aw;
Rime which with Fustian lin'd, & Nonsense clad,
More needful is, than Finger, Shirt or Straw.
4
To conquer Reason, Nature's common gift,Fein'd Art, sophisticated Rime devis'd,
While those who canot their weak judgements lift
To discern sense, and with hard words surpris'd.
5
Yet Laws of Verse rescue but doubtfullyFrom one ill Poet all good Poets fame;
Till against Rime, the wise Rimes help apply,
Which soberly tells Will he is to blame.
323
THUS FAR IN THE AUTHORS OWN WORDS, NOW A LITTLE IN HIS OWN WAY.
1.
Sunk near his evening Region was the Sun,
(But though the Sun can near be said to sink,
Yet when his beams from our dull eyes are run,
He of the Oceans moysture seems to drink.)
(But though the Sun can near be said to sink,
Yet when his beams from our dull eyes are run,
He of the Oceans moysture seems to drink.)
(And though the Ocean be as far remote
From him as we, yet such is the false light,
Of mortal eye, that though for truth we know't,
We yet believe our own deceiving sight.)
From him as we, yet such is the false light,
Of mortal eye, that though for truth we know't,
We yet believe our own deceiving sight.)
(Nor without cause) for what our eyes behold
Unto our sence most evident hath been:
But still we doubt of things by others told,
(For Faith's the evident of things not seen.)
Unto our sence most evident hath been:
But still we doubt of things by others told,
(For Faith's the evident of things not seen.)
2.
When Gondibert and Birtha went to bed,
(For it the Custome was of Lombard Brides,
That on the day when they were married,
They never slept till Sol his visage hides.)
(For it the Custome was of Lombard Brides,
That on the day when they were married,
They never slept till Sol his visage hides.)
(For though bright Sol doth never close his eyes,
When he resignes our hemisphere to night,
Bold Ethnicks say, that he with Thetis lyes,
And make him but alay adulterous light.)
When he resignes our hemisphere to night,
Bold Ethnicks say, that he with Thetis lyes,
And make him but alay adulterous light.)
3.
The Posts were of abstersive Ebony,
(Though no abstersiveness in Posts we find,
In powder tane (the learned not deny)
It cleanses choler, and in pills, breaks wind.)
(Though no abstersiveness in Posts we find,
In powder tane (the learned not deny)
It cleanses choler, and in pills, breaks wind.)
(So when a Sword is forg'd of solid Steel,
It serves for nothing but to cut and wound,
But when to powder turn'd, shy virgins feel
It cures green sickness, & the spleen makes sound.)
It serves for nothing but to cut and wound,
But when to powder turn'd, shy virgins feel
It cures green sickness, & the spleen makes sound.)
324
4.
The Curtains in well-shadowed colours wrought,
For though old Astragon his child had bred
To his own trade, yet something she was taught
By her Nice Mother, (who was gravely dead.)
For though old Astragon his child had bred
To his own trade, yet something she was taught
By her Nice Mother, (who was gravely dead.)
(His limbeck though the sooty Chymist broke
As she past by (when out th'Elixar flew)
And (though) as a grave modern Author spoke
The power of Potion, Purge and Pill, she knew.)
As she past by (when out th'Elixar flew)
And (though) as a grave modern Author spoke
The power of Potion, Purge and Pill, she knew.)
(Yet something had she gain'd of female lore,
Though much she was in med'cinal science skild,
She and th'experienc'd maid had samplers store,
And could the needle or the distaff weild.)
Though much she was in med'cinal science skild,
She and th'experienc'd maid had samplers store,
And could the needle or the distaff weild.)
5.
The sheets so nicely fine, none could have thought
Them spun from course Batavian Freisters toyls,
But by the fingers of Arachne wrought,
From the most subtile of the Silkwormes spoyles.
Them spun from course Batavian Freisters toyls,
But by the fingers of Arachne wrought,
From the most subtile of the Silkwormes spoyles.
There Birtha lay, but when the Knt. drew nigh,
She seem'd to fly from what she long'd t'enjoy,
Orna her self was not than she more shie,
Gartha more nice, nor Rosalind more coy.
She seem'd to fly from what she long'd t'enjoy,
Orna her self was not than she more shie,
Gartha more nice, nor Rosalind more coy.
But when great Natures office was unseal'd
Then through Loves limbeck his elixar flew
Motion and heat, things stiff as if congeald,
Dissolv'd to Amber suds, and Rainbow dew.
Then through Loves limbeck his elixar flew
Motion and heat, things stiff as if congeald,
Dissolv'd to Amber suds, and Rainbow dew.
| The poetical works of Sir John Denham | |