38.
—I cannot, at this place, avoid a sigh. There are days when I am
visited by a feeling blacker than the blackest melancholy—contempt of
man. Let me leave no doubt as to what I despise, whom I
despise: it is the man of today, the man with whom I am unhappily contemporaneous.
The man of today—I am suffocated by his foul breath! . . . Toward the past,
like all who understand, I am full of tolerance, which is to say, generous
self-control: with gloomy caution I pass through whole millenniums of this mad
house of a world, call it “Christianity.” “Christian faith”
or the “Christian church,” as you will—I take care not to hold
mankind responsible for its lunacies. But my feeling changes and breaks out
irresistibly the moment I enter modern times,our times. Our age knows
better. . . What was formerly merely sickly now becomes indecent—it is
indecent to be a Christian today. And here my disgust begins.—I look
about me: not a word survives of what was once called “truth”. we can
no longer bear to hear a priest pronounce the word. Even a man who makes the most
modest pretensions to integrity must know that a theologian, a priest,
a pope of today not only errs when he speaks, but actually lies—and
that he no longer escapes blame for his lie through “innocence” or
“ignorance.” The priest knows, as every one knows, that there is no
longer any “God,” or any “sinner,” or any
“Saviour”—that “free will” and the “moral
order of the world” are lies—: serious reflection, the profound
self-conquest of the spirit,allow no man to pretend that he does
not know it. . . All the ideas of the church are now recognized
for what they are—as the worst counterfeits in existence, invented to debase
nature and all natural values; the priest himself is seen as he actually is—as
the most dangerous form of parasite, as the venomous spider of creation. We
know, our conscience now knows—just what the real value
of all those sinister inventions of priest and church has been and what ends
they have served, with their debasement of humanity to a state of
self-pollution, the very sight of which excites loathing,—the concepts
“the other world,” “the last judgment,” “the
immortality of the soul,” the “soul” itself: they are all
merely so many in instruments of torture, systems of cruelty, whereby the
priest becomes master and remains master. . .Every one knows this,but
nevertheless things remain as before. What has become of the
last trace of decent feeling, of self-respect, when our statesmen, otherwise
an unconventional class of men and thoroughly anti-Christian in their acts,
now call themselves Christians and go to the communion table? . . . A
prince at the head of his armies, magnificent as the expression of the
egoism and arrogance of his people—and yet acknowledging, without
any shame, that he is a Christian! . . . Whom, then, does Christianity
deny? what does it call “the world”. To be a soldier,
to be a judge, to be a patriot; to defend one's self; to be careful of
one's honour; to desire one's own advantage; to be proud . . .
every act of everyday, every instinct, every valuation that shows itself
in a deed, is now anti-Christian: what a monster of falsehood
the modern man must be to call himself nevertheless, and without
shame, a Christian!—