The history of Lady Julia Mandeville | ||
To George Mordaunt, Esq;
I Have already told you I came hither with a view of engaging Lord T — 's interest in support of those views, on which all my hopes of happiness depend. The friendship he has ever professed for me has been warm as that of a father. I was continually with him at Rome, and he there
On revolving my scheme as I approached him, it appeared so romantic, so void of all rational hope, that I had not resolution to mention it, and determined at least to suspend it till better digested, and more fitted to bear the cool eye of impartial reason: in these sentiments I should still have remained, had not a letter from Lady Anne Wilmot, by giving me jealousy, determined
I therefore, with some hesitation, this morning opened all my heart, and the real state of my circumstances, to Lord T — , concealing only what related to Lady Julia. He heard me with great coolness, carelessly lolling on a settee; his eyes fixed on a new Chinese summer-house, opposite the window near which he sat, and made me the following answer; "Your views, Mr. Mandeville, seem rather romantic, for a man who has no party connexions, and so little parliamentary interest. However, you are of a good family, and there are things to be had in time if properly recommended. Have you no friend who would mention you to the minister?" He then rang the bell hastily for his valet, and retired to dress leaving me motionless with astonishment and indignation.
We me no more till dinner, when he treated me with a distant civility, the meaning of which was easily understood. He apologized, with an air of ceremony, on his being forced to go for a fortnight to Scarborough, with a party, who, being all strangers, he was afraid would not be agreeable to me; but, at his return, he should be glad of the honor of seeing me again. I bowed coldly, and took no other notice of what he said, than to order my chaise immediately; on which he pressed my stay to-night, but in vain. The servants leaving the room, he was a little disconcerted, but observed, He was sorry for me; my case was really hard; he always thought my fortune much larger; wondered at my father's indiscretion in educating me so improperly–People ought to consider their circumstances–It was pity I had no friend–Lord Belmont, if he pleased, but he was so absurdly fond of his independence.
During his harangue, I entirely recovered my presence of mind; and, with an air of great ease and unconcern, told his Lordship, I was much obliged to him for curing me of a pursuit so improper for a man of my temper: that the liberal offers of service he had formerly made me at Rome had betrayed me into a false opinion of the friendship of great men; but that I was now convinced of what value such professions are, and that they are only made where it seems certain they will never be accepted. That it was impossible his Lordship could judge properly of the conduct of a man of my father's character; that I was proud of being son to the most exalted and generous of mankind; and would not give up that honor to be first minister to the first prince on earth. That I never so strongly felt the value of independence as at that moment, and did not wonder at the value Lord Belmont set on so inestimable a blessing.
I came away without waiting for an answer, and stopped at an inn about ten miles off, where I am now waiting for one of my servants, whom I left behind to bring me a letter I expect to-day from Lady Anne Wilmot.
And now, my dear Mordaunt, what will become of your unhappy friend? The flattering hopes I fondly entertained are dispersing like a flitting cloud. Lord T — 's behaviour has removed the veil which love had spread over the wildness of my design, and convinced me that success is impossible. Where or to whom shall I now apply? Lord T — was him on whose friendship I most depended; whose power to serve me was greatest, and whose professions gave me most right to expect his services.
I here for ever give up all views–Can I then calmly give up the hopes of Lady
The servant I left at Lord T — 's is this moment arrived; he has brought me a letter–I know not why, but my hand trembles, I have scarce power to break the seal.
The history of Lady Julia Mandeville | ||