 | The Masque of Augures with the severall Antimasqves presented on Twelfe-Night, 1622 |  |
The Presenters were from St. Katharines,
Notch a Brewers Clarke, Slug a Lighterman, Van-goose a rare Artist; Lady Alewife her two Women, three dancing Beares, Urson the Bear-ward, Groome of the Revells.
Notch.
Come, now my head's in, Ile even venture the whole:
I ha seene the Lyons ere now, and he that hath seene
them may see the King.
Slvg.
I thinke he may; but have a care you go not too high (neighbour
Notch) least you chance to have a Tally made of your pate, and bee
clawed with a cudgell; there is as much danger going too neere the King,
as the Lyons.
Groom.
Whither? whither now gamesters? what is the businesse?
the affaire? stop I beseech you.
Not.
This must be an Officer, or nothing, he is so peart and breife
in his demands! a pretty man! and a pretty man is a little o'this side nothing;
howsoever we must not be daunted now, I am sure I am a greater
man than he out of the Court, and I have lost nothing of my Sire since I
came to it.
Groom.
Hey-da! what's this? A hogshead of beere broake out of
the Kings buttery, ro some Dutch Hulke! whether are you bound? The
winde is against you, you must backe; doe you know where you
are?
Not.
Yes sir, if we bee not mistaken, we are at the Court, and would
knowes a little in the place.
Gro.
Sir, I know as little as any man in the place; speake, what is
your businesse? I am an Officer, Groome of the Revels, that is my
place.
Not.
To fetch Bonge of Court a parcell of invisible bread, and beere
for the Plaiers (for they never see it) or to mistake sixe Torches from the
Chandry, and give them one.
Gro.
How sir?
Not.
Come, this is not the first time you have carried coales to your
owne house, I meane that should have warm'd them.
Groom.
Sir, I may doe it by my place, and I must question you
farther.
Not.
Be not so musty sir, our desire is only to know whether the Kings
Majesty, and the Court expect any disguise here to night.
Gro.
Disguise! what meane you by that? doe you thinke that his
Majesty sits here to expect drunkards?
Not.
No, if hee did, I beleeve you would supply that place better
then you do this: Disguise was the old English word for a Masque sir,
before you were an implement belonging to the Revels.
Gr.
There is no such word in the Office now I assure you sir, I have
serv'd here, man, and boy a Prentiship or twaine, and I should know.
But, by what name so ever you call it, here will be a Masque, and shall
be a Masque, when you and the rest of your Comrogues shall sit disguis'd
in the stocks.
Notch.
Sure by your language you were never meant for a Courtier,
howsoever it hath beene your ill fortune to be taken out of the
nest young; you are some Constables egge, some such Widgin of
Authoritie, you are so easily offended! Our comming was to shew our
loves sir, and to make a little merry with his Majesty to night, and we
have brought a Masque with us, if his Majestie had not beene better
provided.
Groome.
Who you? you a Masque? why you stincke like so many
bloat-herrings newly taken out of the chimney! In the name of
Ignorance, whence came you? or what are you? you have beene
hang'd in the smoake sufficiently, that is smelt out alreadie.
Notch.
Sir, we doe come from among the Brewhouses in Saint
Katherines, that's true, there you have smoak'd us (the Docke comfort
your nosthrills,) and we may have lived in a mist there, and so mist our
purpose; but for mine owne part I have brought my properties with
me to expresse what I am; the keyes of my calling hang here at my girdle,
and this the Register booke of my function shewes mee no lesse
then a Clarke at all points, and a Brewers Clarke, and a Brewers head
Clarke.
Gro.
A man of accompt sir! I cry you mercie.
Slvg.
I sir, I knew him a fine Merchant, a merchant of Hops, till all
hopt into the water.
Notch.
No more of that, what I have beene, I have beene; what
I am, I am: I Peter Notch, Clarke, hearing the Christmas invention
was drawne drie at Court; and that neither the Kings Poet,
of quality, nor scarce the Welsh Embassadour if hee should come
there: Out of my allegiance, to wit, drew in some other friends that
have as it were presumed out of their own naturalls, to fill up the vacuum
with some pretty presentation, which we have addressed, and conveighed
hither in a Lighter at the generall charge, and landed at the backe doore
of the Buttery, through my neighbour Slug's credit there.
Slvg.
A poore Lighter-man sir, one that hath had the honour sometimes
to lay in the Kings beere there; and I assure you I heard it in no
worse place then the very Buttry, for a certaine, there would bee no
Masque, and from such as could command a jacke of beere, two, or
three.
Van.
Dat is all true, exceeding true, de inventors be barren, lost, two, dre,
vour mile, I know that from my selven; dey have no ting, no ting vau deir
owne, but dat dey take vrom de eard, or de zea, or de heaven, or de hell, or de rest
van de veir Clementen, de place a, dat be so common as de vench in de Burdello.
Now me would bring in some dainty new ting, dat never was, nor never fall be in
de rebus natura; dat has never van de materia, nor de forma, nor de hoffen, nor de
voote, but a mera devisa of de braine—
Groom.
Hey-da! what Hans Flutterkin is this? what Dutchman doe's
build or frame Castles in the Aire?
Not.
He is no Dutch man sir, he is a Brittaine borne, but hath learn'd
to misuse his owne tongue in travell, and now speakes all languages in ill
English; a rare Artist he is sir, and a Projector of Masques. His Project
in ours is, that we should all come from the three dancing Beares in Saint
Katherines (you may hap know it sir) hard by where the Priest fell in,
which Alehouse is kept by a distressed Lady; whose name (for the honour
of Knighthood) will not bee knowne; yet she is come in person
here Errant, to fill up the adventure with her two women that draw
drinke under her, Gentlewomen borne all three, I assure you.
Slvg.
And were three of those Gentlewomen that should have acted
in that famous matter of Englands joy in sixe hundred and three.
Lady.
What talke you of England's joy, Gentlemen? you have another
matter in hand I wis, Englands sport and delight if you can manage
it. The poore Cattle yonder are passing away the time, with a cheat
loafe, and a bumbard of broken beere, how will ye dispose of them?
Gro.
Cattle! what cattle doe's she meane?
Lady.
No worse then the Kings game I assure you; The Beares,
Beares both of qualitie and fashion, right Beares, true Beares.
Not.
A devise only to expresse the place from whence we come (my
Ladies house) for which we have borrowed three very Beares that (as
her Ladyship aforesayd sayes) are well bred, and can dance to present
the signe, and the Beareward to stand for the signe-poast.
Gro.
That is prettie; but are you sure you have sufficient Beares for
the purpose.
Slvg.
Very sufficient Beares as any are in the Ground, the Parish-Garden,
and can dance at first sight, and play their owne tunes if need bee.
Iohn Vrson the Beare-ward, offers to play them with any Citie-dancers
christned, for a ground measure.
Not.
Marry, for lofty tricks, or dancing on the Ropes hee will not
we are come, we may be admitted, if not for a Masque, for an Antickmaske,
and as we shall deserve therein, we desire to be returned with credit to the
Buttry from whence we came, for reward, or to the Porters Lodge with
discredit, for our punishment.
Gro.
To be whipt with your Beares? Well, I could bee willing to
venture a good word in behalfe of the Game, if I were assured the aforesayd
game would be cleanly, and not fright the Ladies.
Not.
For that sir, the Bear-ward hath put in securitie, by warranting
my Ladie and her Women to dance the whole changes with them in
safety; and for their abusing the place you shall not need to feare, for he
hath given them a kinde of Dyet-bread to binde them to their good
behaviour.
Gro.
Well, let them come; if you need one, Ile helpe you my
selfe.
Enter John Urson with his Beares singing.
Ballad.
For me to intrude,
With these my Beares by chance-a;
'Twere sport for a King,
If they could sing
As well as they can dance-a
Of feare or doubt,
We came from St. Katharin-a;
These dancing three,
By the helpe of mee,
Who am the Post of the signe-a
And we need not care
Though Court, and Country knew it.
Our Ale's o' the best,
And each good guest
Prayes for their souls that brew it.
We care not a lowse,
Nor Taverne in all the Towne-a;
Nor the Vintry Cranes,
Nor St. Clements Danes,
Nor the Devill can put us down-a,
Comes thither agen,
The liquour is so mighty;
And so is our Ale,
And it burnes like Aquavitæ.
If any appeare,
Where never before he has bin;
We shew th'yron Gate,
The wheele of St. Kate,
And the place where the Priest fel in.
They trudge to our tapping,
And still our Ale desire;
And there sit and drinke,
Till the spue, and stinke,
And often pisse out our fire.
And about to day-light,
They sit and never grudge it;
Till the Fish-wives joyne
Their single coyne,
And the Tinker pawnes his budget.
Or their bladders doe swell,
To ease them of their burden;
My Ladie will come
With a bowle and a broome,
And her Hand-mayd with a Iorden.
Lord, Ladie, and knight;
Squire, gentlman, yeoman and groom.
And all our stiffe drinkers,
Smiths, Porters, and Tinkers,
And the beggars shall give ye roome.
Van.
How like you? how like you?
Gro.
Excellent! The Beares have done learnedly, and sweetly.
Van.
Tis noting, tis noting; vill you see someting? Ick sall bring in de
Turkichen, met all zin Bashawes, and zin dirty towsand Yanitsaries met all zin
Whooren, Cunuken, all met an auder, de Sofie van Persia, de Tartar Cham met de
groat King of Mogull, and make deir men, and deir horse, and deir Elephanten be
scene fight in de ayre, and be all killen, and aliven, and no such ting. And all dis
met de Ars van de Catropricks, by de reflesbie van de glassen.
Not.
Oh, he is an admirable Artist.
Slvg.
And a halfe sir.
Gro.
But where will he place his glasses?
Fow, dat is all ean, as it be two, dree, veir, vise tousand Mile off: Ick
sall multipliren de vizioun, met an ander secret dat Ick heb: Spreck, vat vil you
haben?
Gro.
Good sir put him toot, bid him doe something that is impossible;
he will undertake it I warrant you.
Not.
I doe not like the Mogul, nor the great Turke, nor the Tartar,
their names are somewhat to big for the Roome; marry if he could shew
us some Countrey Plaiers, strolling about in severall Shires, without licence
from the Office, that would please I know whom, or some Welsh
Pilgrims.
Van.
Pilgrim? now yow talke of de Pilgrim, if come in my head, Ick vill
shew yow all de whole brave Pilgrim o'de Uorld: de Pilgrim dat goe now, now at
de instant, two, dre towsand Mile to de great Mahomet, at de Mecha, or here, dere,
every where, make de fine Latyrints, and shew all de brave error in de vorld.
Slvg.
And shall we see it here?
Nan.
Yau, here, here, here in vis Roome, tis very Roome: vel vat is dat to
yow if Ick doe de ting? vat an devill, vera boten devill?
Gro.
Nay, good sir be not angry.
Not.
'Tis a disease that followes all excellent men, they cannot governe
their passions; but let him alone, try him one 'bout.
Gro.
I would try him, but what has all this to doe with our Maske?
Van.
O Sir, all de better vor an Antick-maske, de more absurd it be, and
vrom de purpose, it be ever all de better. If it goe from de nature of de ting, it is
de more Art: for deare is Art, and deare is Nature, yow sall see. Hochos-pochos,
Pancos, Palabros.
| The Masque of Augures with the severall Antimasqves presented on Twelfe-Night, 1622 | |