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Scæna prima.
Enter two Serving-men, Peter and Anthony.Peter.
I would we were remov'd from this Town, (Anthony)
That we might taste some quiet: for mine owne part,
I'me almost melted with continuall trotting
After enquiries, dreames, and revelations,
Of who knowes whom, or where? serve wenching soldiers,
That know no other Paradice but Plackets:
Ile serve a Priest in Lent first, and eate Bell-ropes.
Anth.
Thou art the froward'st foole—
Pet.
Why good tame Anthony?
Tell me but this: to what end came we hither?
An.
To wait upon our Masters.
Pet.
But how Anthony?
Answer me that; resolve me there good Anthony?
An.
To serve their uses.
Pet.
Shew your uses Anthony.
An.
To be imploy'd in any thing.
Pet.
No Anthony,
Not any thing I take it; nor that thing
We travell to discover, like new Islands;
A salt itch serve such uses; in things of moment,
Concerning things I grant yee, not things errant,
Sweet Ladies things, and things to thank the Surgeon:
In no such things, sweet Anthony, put case—
An.
Come, come, all will be mended: this invisible woman
Of infinite report for shape and vertue,
That bred us all this trouble to no purpose,
They are determin'd now no more to thinke on,
But fall close to their studies.
Pet.
Was there ever
Men knowne to run mad with report before?
Or wonder after that they know not where.
To finde? or if found, how to enjoy? are mens braines
Made now a dayes of Malt, that their affections
Are never sober? but like drunken people
Founder at every new fame? I do believe too
That men in love are ever drunke, as drunken men
Are ever loving.
An.
Prethee be thou sober,
And know, that they are none of those, not guilty
Of the least vanity of love, onely a doubt
Fame might too farre report, or rather flatter
The graces of this woman, made them curious
To finde the truth, which since they finde so blotted
And lock'd up from their searches, they are now setled
To give the wonder ever.
Pet.
Would they were setled
To give me some new shooes too: for Ile be sworne
These are e'ne worne out to the reasonable soules
In their good worships businesse: and some sleep
Would not doe much amisse, unlesse they meane
To make a Bell-man on me: and what now
Meane they to study, Anthony, Morall Philosophy
After their mar-all women?
An.
Mar a fooles head.
Pet.
'Twill mar two fools heads, & they take not heed,
Besides the Giblets to 'em.
An.
Will you walke Sir,
And talke more out of hearing? your fooles head
May chance to finde a wooden night-cap else.
Pet.
I never lay in any.
An.
Then leave your lying,
Enter Don John and Fredrick.
And your blinde Prophesying: here they come,
You had best tell them as much.
Pet.
I am no tell-tale.
Exeunt.
John.
I would we could have seen her though: for sure
She must be some rare creature, or report lyes,
All mens reports too.
Fred.
I could well wish I had seen her;
But since she is so conceal'd, so beyond venture
Kept and preserv'd from view, so like a Paradice,
Plac't where no knowledg can come near her; so guarded
As 'twere impossible, though knowne to reach her,
I have made up my beliefe.
Joh.
Hang me from this houre
If I more thinke upon her, or believe her,
But as she came a strong report unto me,
So the next Fame shall loose her.
Fred.
'Tis the next way:
But whither are you walking?
Joh.
My old round
After my meat, and then to bed.
Fred.
'Tis healthfull.
Joh.
Will not you stir?
Fred.
I have a little businesse.
Jo.
Upon my life this Lady still—
Fr.
Then you will loose it.
Jo.
Pray let's walke together.
Fr.
Now I cannot.
Jo.
I have something to impart.
Fr.
An houre hence
I will not misse to meet you.
Jo.
Where?
Fr.
Ith' high street;
For not to lye, I have a few Devotions
To doe first, then I am yours.
Jo.
Remember.
Exeunt.
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