University of Virginia Library

TAYLORS WATER-WORKE:

OR, THE SCVLLERS TRAVELS, FROM TYBER TO THAMES: VVITH his Boat laden with a Hotch-potch, or Gallimawfrey of Sonnets, Satyres, and Epigrams.

With an Inkhorne Disputation betwixt a Lawyer and a Poet: and a Quarterne of new-catcht Epigrams, caught the last Fishingtide: together with an addition of Pastorall Equinocques, or the complaint of a Shepheard.

To the Right Worshipfull and my euer respected Mr. Iohn Moray Esquire.

Of all the wonders this vile world includes,
I muse how flatterie such high fauours gaine.
How adulation cunningly deludes,
Both high and low from Scepter to the swaine;
But if thou by flatterie couldst obtaine
More then the most that is possest by men,
Thou canst not tune thy tongue to falshoods straine,
Yet with the best canst vse both tongue and pen.
Thy sacred learning can both scan and ken
The hidden things of Nature and of Art,
'Tis thou hast rais'd me from obliuions den,
And made my Muse from obscure sleepe to start.
Vnto thy wisdomes censure I commit,
This first borne issue of my worthlesse wit.

To my deere respected friend, Maister Beniamin Johnson.

Thou canst not dye for though the stroake of death
Depriues the world of thy worst earthly part:
Yet when thy corps hath banished thy breath,
Thy liuing Muse shall still declare thy Art.
The fatall Sisters and the blessed Graces,
Were all thy friends at thy Natiuitie:
And in thy mind the Muses tooke their places,
Adoring thee with rare capacitie.
And all the Worthies of this worthy Land,
Admires thy wondrous all-admired worth,
Then how should I that cannot vnderstand
Thy worth, thy worthy worthinesse set forth?
Yet beare the boldnesse of the honest Sculler,
Whose worthlesse praise can fill thy praise no fuller.

To my louing Friend Iohn Taylor.

Could my vnpractis'd pen aduance thy name,
Thou shouldst be seated on the wings of Fame.
For from thy toylesome Oare I wonder I,
How thy inuention flowes so iooondly?
Not hauing dream'd on faire Pernassus Hill,
With fruitfull numbers to enrich thy Quill.
Nor hauing washt in that Pegassion Fount,
Which lends the wits such nimblenesse to mount
With tickling rapture on Poetique straines,
On Thames the Muses floate that fils thy braines.
Thy happy wit produc'd thy happy rimes,
Which shall commend thee vnto after times.
And worthily enroll thy name 'mongst those,
Whose Temples are begirt, with Lawrell bowes.
For (sooth to say) a worke I saw not yet,
Lesse helpt with learning, rnd more grac'd with wit:
Then spight of enuie and detractions scorne,
Though Art thou want'st, thou art a Poet borne:
And as a friend for names-sake I'le say thus,
Nec scombros metuentia, Carmina nec thus,

To the one and onely water-Poet and my Friend, Iohn Taylor.

Fresh-water Souldiers saile in shallow streames,
And Mile end Captaines venture not their liues,
A braine distempred brings forth idle dreames,
And gelded Sheathes haue seldome golden Kniues,
And painted faces none but fooles bewitch:
Thy Muse is plaine: but witty, faire: and rich.
When thou didst first to Aganippe float,
Without thy knowledge (as I surely thinke)
The Nayades did swim about thy boat,
And brought thee brauely to the Muses brinke,
Where Grace and Nature filling vp thy Fountaine,
Thy Muse came flowing from Pernassus Mountaine.
So long may flow as is to thee most fit,
The boundlesse Ocean of a Poets wit.

In laudem Authoris.

Wit, Reason, Grace, Religion, Nature, Zeale,
Wrought all together in thy working braine
And to thy worke did set this certaine seale;
Pure is the colour that will take no staine.
What need I praise? the worke it selfe doth praise:
In words, in worth, in forme and matter to,
A world of wits are working many wayes,
But 'few haue done, what thou dost truly doe:
Was neuer Tailor shapt so fit a Coat,
Vnto the Corps of any earthly creature,
As thou hast made for that foule Romish Goat,
In true description of his diuellish nature.
Besides such matter of judicious wit,
With quaint conceits so fitting euery fancie;
As well may proue, who scornes and spights at it
Shall either shew their folly or their franzie,
Then let the Popes Buls roare, Bell, Booke & Candle.
In all the Diuels circuit sound thy curse:
Whilst thou with ttuth dost euerie tryall handle.
God blesse thy worke, and thou art ne're the worse.
And while hels friends their hateful so do proue thee,
The Saints on earth, & God in heauen will loue thee.

[VVhen Tybers siluer waues their Channel leaue]

VVhen Tybers siluer waues their Channel leaue,
And louely Thames, her wonted course forsake,
Then foule obliuion shall thy name bereaue,
Drenching thy glory in her hell bred lake,
But till that time this scourge of Popery,
Shall crowne thy fame with immortality.

To my louing Friend Iohn Taylor.

Ferris gaue cause of vulgar wonderment,
When vnto Bristow in a boat he went;
Another with his Sculler ventured more,
That row'd to Flushing from our English shoare.
Another did deuise a woodden Whale,
Which vnto Callice did from Douer saile,
Another with his Oares and slender Wherry,
From London vnto Antwerpe o're did Ferry.
Another maugre fickle fortunes teeth,
Rowed hence to Scotland and arriu'd at Leeth.
But thou hast made all these but triuiall things,
That from the Tower thy watry Sculler brings
To Hellicon: most sacred in account,
And so arriued at Pernassus Mount:
And backe return'd Laden with Poets wit,
With all the Muses hands to witnesse it;
Who on their Sculler doth this praise bestow,
Not such another on the Thames doth row.

To my Friend both by Water and Land, Iohn Taylor.

Oft hast thou trauail'd for me at thy Oare,
But neuer in this kind didst toyle before.
To turne a Poet in this peeuish time,
Is held as rare as J should write in rime,
For one of thy profession, yet thy Art,
Surpasseth mine, this serues to paint that part,
J meane thy Poetry which in thee lurks,
And not thy sweating skill in water-works.
I cannot but commend thy Booke, and say
Thou merit'st more then common Scullers pay:
Then whistle off thy Muse, and giue her scope,
That she may soundly cease vpon the Pope:
For well J see that he and many more,
Are dar'd by her (which scarce was done before.)
Proceed (good Iohn) and when th'ast done this worke,
Feare not to venter trassing of the Turke.
I like thy vaine, J loue thee for those guifts
Of Nature in thee, farre aboue the shifts
That others seeke, plodding for what thy pen,
Wit workes in thee learning in other men.
Thou Natiue Language we haue done thee wrong
To say th'art not compleat, wanting the tongue
Call'd Latine, for heere's one shall end the strife,
That neuer learned Latine word in's life.
Then to conclude, J truly must confesse,
Many haue more beene taught, but learned lesse.

To my louing Friend Iohn Taylor.

Some say kind Iacke thou art a Poet borne,
And none by Art; which thou maist justly scorne;
For if without thy name they had but seene
Thy lines, thy lines had artificiall beene,
Opinion carries with it such a curse,
Although thy name makes not the verse the worse.
If then this worke, variety affords
Of Trophes, of Figures, Epethites, and Words.
With no harsh accent and with iudgement too.
I pray what more can Art or Nature doe?
So that in thee thy Genius doth impart,
To Artificiall Nature, Naturall Art.

Prologue to the Reader.

Good gentle Reader, if I doe transgresse,
I know you know, that I did ne're professe,
Vntill this time in Print to be a Poet:
And now to exercise my wits I show it.
View but the intrals of this little booke,
And thou wilt say that I some paines haue tooke:
Paines mixt with pleasure, pleasure ioyn'd with pain
Produc'd this issue of my laboring braine.
But now me thinkes I heare some enuious throat,
Say I should deale no further then my Boat:
And ply my Fare, and leaue my Epigram,
Minding, ne Sutor vltra crepidam.
To such I answere, Fortune giue her guifts.
Some downe she throwes, and some to honour lifts:
'Mongst whom from me she hath with-held her store
And giues me leaue to sweat it at my Oare.
And though with labour I my liuing purse,
Yet doe I thinke my lines no iot the worse,
For Gold is gold though buried vnder mosse,
And drosse in golden vessels is but drosse.

To Tom Coriat.

VVhat matters for the place I first came from
I am no Duncecomb, Coxecomb, Odcomb Tom
Nor am I like a wool-pack, crām'd wth Greek,
Uenus in Uenice minded to goe seeke;
And at my backe returne to write a Volume,
In memory of my wits Gargantua Colume.
The choysest wits would neuer so adore me;
Nor like so many Lackies run before me,
But honest Tom, I enuy not thy state,
There's nothing in thee worthy of my hate;
Yet I confesse thou hast an excellent wit:
But that an idle braine doth harbour it.
Foole thou it at the Court, I on the Thames,
So farewell Odcomb Tom, God blesse King James.

The Author in his awne defence.

There is a crew of euer carping spirits,
Who merit nothing good, yet hate good merits:
One wrings his lawes a wry, and then cryes mew,
And that I stole my lines, hee'l plainely shew.
Thou addle-headed Asse, thy braines are muddy,
Thy witlesse wit, vncapable of study,
Deem'st each inuention barren, like to thine,
And what thou canst not mend thou wilt repine.
Loe thus to wauering Censures torturing Racke,
With truth and confidence my Muse doth packe.
Let Zoylus and let Momus doe their worst,
Let Enuie and Detraction swell and burst;
In spight of spight and rankerous disdaine,
In scorne of any carping Criticks braine,
Like to a Post I'le runne through thicke and thin,
To scourge Iniquity and spurgall sinne.
You worthy fauourites of wisedomes lore,
Onely your fauours doth my Muse implore:
If your good stomackes these harsh lines disgest,
I carelesse bid a rush for all the rest.
My lines first parents (be they good or ill)
Was my vnlearned braine, and barren quill.

THE SCVLLER.

To the whole kennell of Anti-Christs hounds, Priests, Friers, Monkes, and Jesuites, Mastiffes, Mongrels, Islands, Spanniels, Blood-hounds, Bobtaile-tike, or Foysting-hound: The Scvller sends greeting.

Epigram 1.

[Cvrse, exorcise, with Beads, with Booke and Bell]

Cvrse, exorcise, with Beads, with Booke and Bell
Polluted shauelings: rage and doe your worst:
Vse coniurations till your bellies burst,
With many a N gromanticke mumbling spell,
I feare you not, nor all your friends that fell
With Lucifer: yee damned dogs that durst
Deuise that thundring Treason most accurst,
Whose like before was neuer hatcht in Hell,
Halfe men, halfe diuels, who neuer dream'd of good,
To you from faire and sweetly sliding Thames,
A popomasticke Sculler warre proclaimes,
As to the suckers of Imperiall bloud,
An Anti-Iesuite Sculler with his pen,
Defies your Babell beast, and all his Den.

Epigram 2.

[Rome, now approaches thy confusion]

Rome , now approaches thy confusion,
Thy Antichristiā Kingdome down must tumble
The Nimrods proud cloud-piercing Babylon,
Like hell-hatch'd pride, despight thy hart must humble,
In scorne of damn'd equiuosation,
My lines like thunder through thy Regions rumble,
Downe in the dust must lye thy painted glory,
For now I row and write thy tragicke story.

Epigram. 3.

[Whē God had all things out of nothing fram'd]

Whē God had all things out of nothing fram'd,
And man had named all things ye are nam'd;
God shewed to man the way he should behaue him,
What ill would dam him, or what good would saue him,
All creatures that the world did then containe,
Were all made subiects to mans Lordly raigne.
Faire Paradise was Princely Adams walke,
Where God himselfe did often with him talke;
At which the Angels, enuious and proud,
Striu'd to ascend aboue the highest cloud:
And with the mighty God to make compare,
And of his glory to haue greatest share:
Because they saw Gods loue to man so great,
They striu'd to throw their Maker from his seat.
But he, whose power is All-sufficient,
Did headlong hurle them from Heauens battlement:
And for which enuious pride they so did swell,
They lost heauens glory for the paines of Hell.
In all this time, man liuing at his ease,
His wife nor he not knowing to displease
Their glorious maker, till the Sonne of night
Full fraught with rage, and poyson bursting spight,
Finding alone our ancient grandam Eve,
With false perswasions makes her to beleeue
If she would eate the fruit she was forbidden,
She should Gods secrets know, were from her hidden
Supposing all was true the Serpent told,
They both to Adam straightway did vnfold,
This treacherous horrid vile soule-killing treason,
And he ambitious, past the bounds of reason,
(To his posterities sole detriment)
Doth to the Woman and the Fiend consent.
Yet Adam neuer had the diuell obeyed,
Had he not had the woman for his ayde.
Lo thus the sexe that God made man to cherish,
Was by the Diuell intic'd to cause him perish.
Sathan supposing he had wonne the field
(In making man to his obedience yeeld)
Poore Adam now in corps and mind deiected,
From head to foot with shamefull sinne infected:
Is now a slaue to sinne, the Diuell and Death,
Dreading the danger of th'Almighties wrath.
From Eden banisht, from Gods presence thrust,
And all the earth being for his crime accurst,
Opprest with griefe and selfe-consuming care,
Being at the brimme of bottomlesse dispaire.
Yet God in mercy thinking of his frailtie,
Though sinfull man to him had broken fealtie,
Did promise he would send his onely Sonne,
To satisfie for faults by man misdone.
At last he came, in his appointed time,
And on his faultlesse shoulders tooke our crime,
And like a malefactor death he suffered,
And once for all, himselfe himselfe hath offered.
And yet the Diuell will not be satisfi'd,
(Although the Sonne of God for sinners dy'd)
But dayly hellish damned enterprises,
His Ministers and he 'gainst man deuises,
Vnder the shelter of Religions cloake,
Seditiously he doth the world prouoke,
'Gainst God in trayterous manner to rebell,
To amplifie his euerlasting hell,
Attempting mankind still by fraud or force,
His soule from his Redeemer to diuorce,
And yet not man alone must feele his sting,
But he dares venter on our heauenly King,
Whose power though Satan knowes is euerlasting,
Yet after fortie dayes and nights long fasting,
Thinking him weake, attempts now to inuade him:
And with illusions seeking to perswade him:
Carries our Sauiour vp vnto a Hill,
And told him if he would obey his will.
In adoration to fall downe before him,
He of the worlds great glory would so store him
That he should Lord and Master be of all,
If he in reuerence would before him fall.
Christ knowing him to be the root of euill,
With God-like power commands, auoid thou diuell.
'Tis writ, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God,
But serue and feare the fury of his rod,
Sathan perceiuing all his labour lost,
Runnes through the world, more swifter then a post:
Proclaimes large Kingdomes, and a tryple Crowne,
To him that in his Reuerence would fall downe.
Ambitious thirst of fickle fading fame,
Did quickly mindes of wordly men inflame:
Making them dreame on pleasures transitorie,
And to esteeme earths pompe aboue heauens glory.
This made the Pope, with poysonous pride infus'd,
T'accept those honours Christ before refus'd:
Now hath he wonne great fame, on this condition:
That fore the diuell he fall in base submission:
So hauing wonne this great magnificence,
To countermaund the earths circumference:
The Idiot world he proudly ouer-swayes,
Vnder the name of Heauens immortall kayes,
O're all the Globe he raignes as Lord and King,
And to Hels Goat fold aye doth millions bring,
Of soules, seduc'd with buzard blinded zeale,
From men besotted he doth honour steale.
And yet with his effrontit shamelesse face,
Seemes to command the diuell that gaue him place.
A haynous fault in my dull vnderstanding,
The Seruant o're his Lord should be commanding:
But yet I thinke 'tis but for policy,
More to increase th'infernall Monarchy:
He seemes to hate the Diuell he most doth serue,
Else would the world from Romes obedience swerue,
And leaue the Pope and Papists in the lurch:
And then might Sathan whistle for a Church,
The Isle of Brittaine hath perceiu'd their tricks,
And in Rebellion 'gainst the Pope she kickes:
For whom they haue inuented hell-hatcht plots,
Quite to extirpe the English and the Scots.
I wot not which of Rome or hell roar'd lowder,
But they had like t'haue pepper'd vs with powder.
Yea all estates, from Scepter to the Crowne,
Should topsie turuie all be tumbled downe.
Without respect of person, sexe, or age,
All had their doome, t'abide the Romane rage.
But he that by his sacred selfe had sworne,
To guard his Church, did laugh them all to scorne:
For when those vassals of eternall night,
Thought all secure, then God brought all to light,
Casting their painted glory in the dust,
That any power besides his power doth trust:
Leauing their Corps a prey for Crowes and Kites,
That brauely so for Signior Satan fights.
But in this matter I'le no further trauaile,
Least want or water make my Ship to grauell:
Knowing there's many wits of farre more worth,
That to the life hath limbd this Treason forth;
But Ile conclude as I began before,
Because that Christ would not the diuell adore,
Christ lost this glorious worldly pompous raigne,
Which happy losse, the haplesse Pope did gaine.

Epigram 4.

[How weakly is that weake Religion grounded]

How weakly is that weake Religion grounded,
That thinks ye Church on Peters corps is foūded?
The Spouse of Christ is built on Faiths firme Rocke,
Which not the fury of Hels direfull shocke,
Though all the fiends in troupes doe her assaile.
Yet 'gainst Gods power their force cannot preuaile.
Peters confessing Christ Gods true begotten,
Is sure the Churches ground, but Peter's rotten.
Or else if Peter neuer had had life,
Through want of him Christ neuer had had wife.
For 'tis an Article of Faith profound,
To know S. Peter for the Churches ground.
And who denyes it shall haue fire and rope,
Beleeue me Reader, or goe aske the Pope.
But yet I muse in what place of the earth,
Gods Church did stand before S. Peters birth?

Epigram 5.

[VVhen as our Sauiour to the Temple went]

VVhen as our Sauiour to the Temple went,
To tell the message that his Father sent:
And finding there a rude vnruly rout,
That bought and sold, he angry beat them out,
And ouerthrew their Tressels and their Tables,
And made them packe away with all their bables:
And further said (what all true hearts beleeues)
This house was made for Prayer, no den for theeues.
Those Marchants thus whipt from their market place
Practis'd reuenge 'gainst Christ for this disgrace.
And more to strēgth their power, joyn'd wth ye Pope:
Who by his lawlesse Law hath giuen them scope,
That in the Church they still should buy and sell
Both God, and Diuell, Heauen, Purgatory, Hell.
Now here's the oddes, Christ out the Pedlers thrust,
And stayd himselfe there, preaching what was iust.
And for reuenge the haughty Romane Priest.
Hath tane the Pedlers in, and thrust out Christ.

Epigram 6.

[It is a question farre beyond my Logicke]

It is a question farre beyond my Logicke,
How those ye haue ye Popedome won by Magicke,
Can be Lieutenants vnto Christ our Sauiour,
Being knowne for hell-hounds of most damn'd behauiour:
Then since the diuell hath the Pope created,
His Vicar must he be, that there him seated:
'Twould make a wiser head then mine to muse,
That God should like the man the Diuell doth chuse.

Epigram 7.

[A prouerbe old, where had the Diuell the Fryer?]

A prouerbe old, where had the Diuell the Fryer?
Where had the Diuell the Fryer but were he was?
The Diuell with the Fryer sits in the Quire,
The Fryer with the Diuell sayes and sings Masse?
The diuell and the Frier are ne're asunder,
The Fryer to hate the Diuell is more then wonder.

Epigram 8.

[Conferring with a Romish]

Conferring with a Romish Pharisee,
Who void of grace maintain'd this heresie,
That he the Law of God had neuer broken,
Nor neuer ill had done, nor ill had spoken.
I gaue his Antichristian faith the lye.
And told him that for him Christ did not dye.
For be did suffer onely for their sinne,
Who were insnared in the diuels ginne.
And as for him that neuer had transgrest,
Twere good to hang him now he's at the best.

Epigram 9.

[It is an Art beyond the worke of Nature]

It is an Art beyond the worke of Nature,
The Pope should be Creator, and a Creature:
Betwixt the Pope and God there's one thing odde,
For though God all things made, ye Pope makes God.

Epigram 10.

[Religions scatter'd into diuers sects]

Religions scatter'd into diuers sects,
One likes one way for many sound respects.
Others like that way; others like another,
And what likes th'one, is loathed by the other.
Yet each man deemes his owne opinion's right,
And each 'gainst other beares inated spight.
Amongst the rest the Romane Catholike,
Who scornes that his Religion saile should strike
To any, since from it two vertues springs,
That they may eate their God, and kill their Kings;
By which maine Maximes they do strongly hope
To the worlds Period to vphold the Pope.

Epigram 11.

[It is no wonder though Romes regall sway]

It is no wonder though Romes regall sway,
Is by a Sheapheard rul'd with Lordly same;
For ancient Records truly doth display;
How Romulus the Shepheard built the same:
And how his brother Remus and himselfe,
In Tybers restlesse waues ydrencht and duckt,
When infant miserie was all their pelfe,
A rauening wolfe, most motherly they suckt:
From whom doth spring as from a flowing gulfe,
Romes Priest and Prince, a Shepheard and a Wolfe.

Epigram 12.

[Tvmultuous thoughts within my brest doth struggle]

Tvmultuous thoughts within my brest doth struggle,
To thinke how finely popish Priests can iuggle:
And make the world beleeue a a wafer Cake,
Is that Creator that did all things make
Or that the sinne-polluted bald-crownd Priest,
With coniurations, can create his Christ,
When our beliefe doth plainly testifie,
He sits at Gods right hand in Maiestie,
From whence in humaine forme he will not come,
Till quicke and dead shall all abide his doome.
What Fooles are they then thinks the Priest & Baker,
With impious hands makes their immortall maker.

Epigram 13.

[Not all the sophistrie of Aristotle]

Not all the sophistrie of Aristotle,
Cannot perswade me but the Pope did erre,
When he and's sonne mistooke the poysned bottle.
'Twas 'error sure, what euer they inferre.
O't had beene good then, both for him and's heyte,
He had beene haltered fast in Peters Chayre.

Epigram 14.

[The warlike Emperours before Christ come]

The warlike Emperours before Christ come,
Subdu'd the world, both Sea and Land to Rome.
Then afterwards the Heauens their Bishops wonne.
By preaching truly Gods immortall Sonne.
Heauen, Earth, and Sea, being taken in the prime,
What rests now for the Popes this latter time?
Since of the heauens and earth they loose their part,
They will haue hell, despight the diuels hart.

Epigram 15.

[Christs Church in no wayes is the]

Christs Church in no wayes is the Church of Rome
For Paul sayes, in the latter time should come,
Apostates, that the truth should quite forsake,
That lyes and fables should Religion make:
Affirming meates and Matrimony euill,
Which Paul doth call the doctrine of the deuill.
Then since the Pope and all his shaueling rout,
What Christ commands they wilfully thrust out.
I with my betters must conclude this doome,
The Deuils deere drab must be the Church of Rome.

Epigram 16.

[O yes, if any man would know a place]

O yes, if any man would know a place,
Where God himselfe hath neither power nor might,
Where as th'Almighty neuer shew'd his face.
Where words, not swords, can neither talke nor fight.
O such a placelesse place is, Purgatory,
Created by the Pope without Gods leaue,
To amplifie his Antichristian glory,
And all the world with cunning to deceiue,
Where as the Pope hangs, drawes, condemnes, and iudges
Commits, acquits, sets free, or casts in thrall,
Whether he thousands sends, on heapes like drudges,
For in this no place, hee is all in all,
And like a mighty three-crownd Priestly Prince,
With threats and bans he so the world bewitches:
In sending thither, and recalling thence,
He gaines himselfe the Diuell and all for riches.

Epigram 17.

[The ]

The Pope hath charge of heauens immortall keyes,
And triple-headed Cerberus obeyes,
His triple Crowne, and who so e're he please,
He sends to Hell for payne, or Heauen for ease.
He can command the Angels and the Fiends,
What pleases them for him or for his friends,
Like as a Dog doth feare a flitch of Bacon,
So his great name, Heauen, Earth, & Hell hath shaken.

Epigram 18.

[VVho dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud]

VVho dares affirme the Popes of Rome are Proud,
Amongst the Heretickes himselfe must shroud:
Or who dares say they'r giuen to Auarice,
In selling Heauen and Hell for summes of price?
Or who dares speake such words of treachery,
To say the Pope is giuen to Letchery?
Or who is he, dares be so impious,
To say his Holinesse is Enuious?
Or who, for feare of euerlasting scath,
Dares once accuse his Holinesse of Wrath?
Or who is he that dares once verisie,
The Pope doth vse excessiue Gluttony?
Or who dares say, that like a drone or moath,
Like an vnpreaching Priest, he liues by Sloath?
He that against him this dares justifie,
Is a plaine Protestant, and such am I.

Epigram 19.

[May it be call'd intollerable Pride]

May it be call'd intollerable Pride,
For man to sit in the Almighties seate,
Or on mens shoulders pompously to ride,
To terrifie the world with thundering threat?
To weare a three pilde Crowne vpon his head?
To haue both Kings and Princes at his becke?
Whose Horse by mighty Potentates is led,
Who proudly footes vpon the Emperours necke:
If trickes like these, for pride may be allow'd,
Then I conclude, the Pope must needs be proud.

Epigram 20.

[If it be couetous for gripple gaine]

If it be couetous for gripple gaine,
To sell the Heauens, the Earth, yea God himselfe,
To dispossesse Kings from their lawfull raigne,
To cramme his coffers with vnlawfull pelfe.
To pardon sinnes for money, more then pitty:
Nay more, to pardon sinnes that are to come:
To maintaine Whores, and Stewes in Towne and City:
Who yerely payes the Pope a countlesse sum,
Who takes great interest, puts great summes to vse,
'Tis Couetousnesse I thinke without excuse.

Epigram 21.

[Is it not bruitish sensuall]

Is it not bruitish sensuall appetite,
The Sire to make a strumpet of his child,
Or is not Letcherie an Epethite,
For him that hath his Fathers bed defilde?
For him that hath deflour'd Virginitie?
That hath defilde the Damozell and the Damme,
Without respect of Consanguinitie?
That like a wolfe hath spoyld both Ewe and Lambe?
This may be tearm'd incestuous Luxury,
And yet his Holinesse not wrongd thereby.

Epigram 22.

[He like a God that gouernes in the world]

He like a God that gouernes in the world,
That Envies each mans honour but his owne:
He that sedition through the earth hath hurld,
Whose Enuie hath great Kingdomes ouer-throwne.
He that vngraues his foe, that's once intomb'd,
For Enuie that he wrong'd him whilst he liu'd,
And after death is Enuiously doom'd.
To be of liuelesse sencelesse limbs depriu'd.
If this be true none will deny I hope,
That Enuie is ingrafted in the Pope.

Epigram 23.

[He whose fierce]

He whose fierce Wrath with bloudy rage doth swell,
That takes delight in slaughtering Gods elect:
He that is sworne the Champion of Hell.
That Wrath and Murther onely doth effect:
He whose combustious all-deuouring ire,
Depopulates and layes whole Empires waste,
Whose Wrath like a consuming quenchlesse fire,
Hath blessed peace from Christendome displac't.
If I should need one, skild in Wrath and Murther,
His Holinesse commands me goe no further.

Epigram 24.

[VVho dares for]

VVho dares for Glutony the Pope accuse,
Or 'gainst voluptuous dyet make complaints?
His Holinesse so many Fasts doth vse,
As Lents, and Fasting-dayes, and Eeues of Saints,
Yet where Pride, Lust, and Auarice are found,
Heart gnawing Enuie, and fell murthering Wrath,
There rauenous Gluttony must needs abound,
Else other vices will be out of breath.
For Papists Fasts are generally more deare,
Then Feasts of Protestants with all their cheare.

Epigram 25.

[Those ]

Those liberall Sciences in number seauen,
Began with Pride, & ends with drowsie Sloath,
Yet Christs command vnto the Apostles giuen
Was, feed my sheepe that faith in them haue growth.
Now I suppose, the feeding of Christs flocke,
Is truly Preaching of his sacred word,
Which word's the Key that opes the heauenly locke,
Which Sword and Word his Holinesse doth hoord.
Which drawne, cuts his throat and the Diuels both,
For feare of which he lets it sleepe in sloath.

Epigram 26. The beliefe of a Romane Catholike.

[I doe beleeue the holy Pope of Rome]

I doe beleeue the holy Pope of Rome,
Is Lord of Scriptures, Fathers, Church and all:
Of Councels of the world, whose dreadfull doome,
Can at his pleasure make all rise, or fall.
I doe beleeue, though God forbids the same,
That I should worship Images, and Saints:
I hope by mine owne workes I heauen may claime.
In tongues vnknown, I must make praiers & plaints.
I doe beleeue Christs bodie made of bread.
And may be eaten by Dogs, Cats, or Mice,
Yet is a sacrifice for quicke and dead,
And may be bought and sold for rated price.
I further doe beleeue the Pope our Lord,
Can at his pleasure all my sinnes forgiue.
I doe beleeue at his commanding word,
Subiects must Kings of liues and land depriue.
Like as the Church beleues, so I beleeue:
By which I hope the Heauens I shall atchieue.

Epigram 27.

[Like as the Vipers birth's his mothers bane]

Like as the Vipers birth's his mothers bane,
So the Popes full, hath been the Emperors wane:
The Empires Autumne, was the Popish Spring,
And Kings subiection made the Pope a King.
Then did his Holinesse become a God,
When Princes children-like, gan feare his rod.
Whil'st earthly Potentates their owne did hold,
The Popes then Shepheard-like did keepe their fold.
And fore the sacred truth should be o'ercome,
They willingly would suffer Martyrdome.
But farewell Martyrs now, and welcome Myters,
For painefull Preachers now, contentious fighters,
With bloud or gold, ascends the Papall Chayre,
Vnder the title of Saint Peters heyre.
I thinke if truth were brought vnto the tryall,
The Pope is heyre to Peter in denyall.
But want of penitence proclaimes him base,
A Bastard not of Peters blessed race,
Vnlesse when Christ did call th'Apostle diuell,
He's Bastard to the good, and heyre to th'euill.

Epigram 28.

[Me thinkes I heare as warme of Romanists]

Me thinkes I heare as warme of Romanists,
Reuile and curse, with Candle, Booke & Bell:
Yea all the polteshorne crew of Antichrists,
Condemnes me all without remorse to Hell:
But I with resolution so doe arme me,
Their blessings doe no good, nor cursings harme me.

Epigram 29.

[I that haue rowed from Tyber vnto Thames]

I that haue rowed from Tyber vnto Thames,
Not with a Sculler, but with Scull and braines,
If none will pay my Fare, the more's their shames,
I am not first vnpaid that hath tane paines.
Yet Ile bee bold if payment be delay'd.
To say and sweare your Sculler is not pay'd.

To his approued good friend, Master Robert Branthwayt.

Deere friend, to thee I owe a countlesse debt,
Which though I euer pay will ne're be pay'd:
Tis not base coyne, subiect to cankers fret,
If so, in time my debt would be defray'd,
But this my debt, I would haue all men know,
Is loue, the more I pay, the more I owe.

To his well esteemed friend, Master Maximilian Waad.

VVit, Learning, Honesty, and all good parts,
Hath so possest thy body and thy minde,
That couetously thou steal'st away mens hearts,
Yet 'gainst thy theft, there's neuer none repin'd.
My heart, that is my greatest worldly pelfe,
Shall euer be for thee as for my selfe.

To my friend Master William Sherman.

Thou that in idle adulating words
Canst neuer please the humours of these dayes,
That greatest workes with smallest speech affords,
Whose wit the rules of Wisedomes lore obeyes.
In few words then, I wish that thou maist be,
As well belou'd of all men, as of me.

Epigram 1.

[All you that stedfastly doe fixe your eye]

All you that stedfastly doe fixe your eye,
Vpon this idle issue of my braine,
Who void of any intricate disguise,
Describes my meaning rusticall and plaine.
My Muse like Sisiphus with toylesome trade,
Is euer working, yet hath neuer done,
Though from the Romish Sea she well gan wade,
Yet is her labour as 'twere new begun.
For hauing at the Papists had a fling.
Great Britaines vice, or vertues now I sing.

Epigram 2.

[Then cause I will not hug my selfe in sinne]

Then cause I will not hug my selfe in sinne,
First with my selfe, I meane for to begin.
Confessing that in me there's nothing good:
My vaines are full of sinne-polluted bloud,
Which all my corps infects with hell-borne crimes,
Which make my actions lawlesse like these times,
That had I power according to my will,
My faults would make compare with any ill.
But yet I muse at Poets now adayes,
That each mans vice so sharpely will dispraise:
Like as the Kite doth o're the carrion houer,
So their owne faults, with other mens they couer.
Cause you shall deeme my judgement to be just,
Amongst the guilty, I cry guiltie first.

Epigram 3.

[Glacus that selfe conceited criticke foole]

Glacus that selfe conceited criticke foole,
Vpon my Epigrams doth looke a scaunt,
And bids me put my barren wit to Schoole,
And I in anger bid the Asse auaunt.
For till some better thing by him is pend,
I bid him fault not that he cannot mend.

Epigram 4.

[A skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew.]

A skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew.
That every man his workemanship admir'd:
So neere the life, in beautie, forme, and hew,
As if dead Art, 'gainst Nature had conspir'd.
Painter sayes one, thy wife's a pretty woman,
I muse such ill-shape Children thou hast got,
Yet makest such pictures as their like makes no man,
I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot?
Quoth he, I paint by day when it is light,
And get my Children in the darke at night.

Epigram 5.

[Vnlearned Azo, store of Bookes hath bought]

Vnlearned Azo, store of Bookes hath bought,
Because a learned Scholler hee'l be thought:
I counsell'd him that had of Bookes such store,
To buy Pipes, Lutes, the Violl and Bandore,
And then his Musicke and his learning share,
Being both alike, with either might compare.

Epigram 6.

[Faire Betrice tuckes her coats vp somewhat hie]

Faire Betrice tuckes her coats vp somewhat hie,
Her pretty leg and foot cause men should spie:
Sayes one you haue a handsome Leg sweet ducke,
I haue two (quoth she) or else I had hard lucke:
There's two indeed, I thinke th'are twinnes (qd, he)
They are, and are not, honest friend (quoth she)
Their birth was both at once, I dare be sworne,
But yet betweene them both a man was borne.

Epigram 7.

[The way to make a Welch-man thirst for blisse]

The way to make a Welch-man thirst for blisse,
And say his prayers dayly on his knees:
Is to perswade him, that most certaine 'tis,
The Moone is made of nothing but greene Cheese.
And hee'l desire of God no greater boone,
But place in heauen to feed vpon the Moone.

Epigram 8.

[A gallant Lasse from out her window saw]

A gallant Lasse from out her window saw,
A Gentleman, whose nose in length exceeded.
Her boundlesse will, not limited by Law,
Imagin'd he had what she greatly needed.
To speake with him, she kindly doth entreat,
Desiring him to cleare her darke suppose:
Supposing euery thing was made compleat,
And correspondent equall to his nose.
But finding short where she expected long,
She sigh'd and said, O nose thou didst me wrong.

Epigram 9.

[Young Sr. John Puckefoist, and his new made Madam]

Young Sr. John Puckefoist, and his new made Madam:
Forgets they were the off-spring of old Adam.
I'm sure 'tis not for wit, nor manlike fight,
His worthlesse worship late was dub'd a Knight.
Some are made great for wealth, and some for wit,
And some for valour doe attaine to it:
And some for neither valour, wit nor wealth,
But stolne opinion, purchase it by stealth.

Epigram 10.

[One told me flattery was exil'd the state]

One told me flattery was exil'd the state,
And pride and lust at Court were out of date,
How vertue did from thence all vice pursue,
'Tis newes (quoth I) too good for to be true.

Epigram 11.

[He that doth beate his braines, and trie his wit]

He that doth beate his braines, and trie his wit,
In hope thereby to please the multitude,
As soone may ride a Horse without a bit,
Aboue the Moone or Sunnes high altitude.
Then neither flatterie, nor the hope of pelfe,
Hath made me write, but for to please my selfe.

Epigram 12.

[A rusticke swaine was cleauing of a blocke]

A rusticke swaine was cleauing of a blocke,
And hum he cryes at euery pond'rous knocke,
His wife sayes, Husband, wherefore hum you so?
Quoth he, it makes the wedge in further goe.
When day was done, and drowsie night was come,
Being both in bed at play, she bids him hum.
Good wise (quoth he) entreat me hum no more,
For when I hum I cleaue, but now I bore.

Epigram 13.

[VVhen Caualero Hot shot goes with Oares]

VVhen Caualero Hot shot goes with Oares,
Zoun's row ye Rogues, ye lazy knaues make hast,
A noyse of Fidlers and a brace of Whores,
At Lambeth stayes for me to breake their fast;
He that's so hot for's wench ere he come nie her,
Being at her once, I doubt hee'l be on fire.

Epigram 14.

[It was my chance once in my furious mood]

It was my chance once in my furious mood,
To call my neighbours wife an arrant whore,
But she most stifly on her credit stood,
Swearing that sorry I should be therefore.
Her Husband vnderstanding of the case.
Protested he would sue me for a slander,
When straight I prou'd it to his forked face,
He was a Knaue, a Cuckold and a Pander.
O to (quoth he) good neighbour say no mo,
I know my wife lets out her buggle bo.

Epigram 15.

[The Law hangs Theeues for their vnlawfull stealing]

The Law hangs Theeues for their vnlawfull stealing,
The Law carts Bawds, for keeping of the dore,
The Law doth punish Rogues, for roguish dealing.
The Law whips both the Pander and the Whore,
But yet I muse from whence this Law is growne,
Whores must not steale nor yet must vse their owne.

Epigram 15.

[Old Fabian by Extortion and by stealth]

Old Fabian by Extortion and by stealth,
Hath got a huge Masse of ill gotten wealth,
For which he giues God daily thankes and praise,
When 'twas the Diuell that did his fortunes rayse.
Then since the getting of thy goods were euill,
Th'hast reason to bee thankfull to the deuill,
Who very largely hath increast thy mucke,
And sent the Miser Midaes golden lucke.
Then thanke not God, for he hath helpt thee least,
But thanke the Diuell that hath thy pelfe increast.

Epigram 17.

[What matter ist, how men their dayes doe spend]

What matter ist, how men their dayes doe spend,
So good report do on their deaths attend,
Though in thy former life thou ne're didst good,
But mad'st Religion for thy faults a hood,
And all blacke sinnes were harbour'd in thy brest,
And tooke thy Conscience for their natiue nest:
Yet at thy buriall for a noble price,
Shalt haue a Sermon made, shall hide thy Vice,
A thread bare Parson shall thy praise out-poure
And in the Expiration of an houre
Will make the world thy honesty applaud,
And to thy passed life become a Bawd.
Our Christian Brother here lyes dead (quoth he)
Who was the patterne of true Charitie.
No Drunkard, Whoremonger, nor no vile swearer,
No greedy Vsurer, nor no Rent rearer.
O deare beloued, this example take,
And thus an end at his time doe I make.
Thus Mr. Parson nobly spends his breath,
To make a Villaine honest after death.
And for one Noble, freely he affords,
Much more then twenty shillings-worth of words.

Epigram 18.

[Lord who would take him for a pippin Squire]

Lord who would take him for a pippin Squire,
That's so bedaub'd with lace and rich attire?
Can the dam'd windfals of base baudery,
Maintaine the slaue in this embrodery?
No maruaile Vertue's at so low a price,
When men knowes better how to thriue by Vice.

Epigram 19.

[All Bradoes oathes are new sound eloquence]

All Bradoes oathes are new sound eloquence,
As though they sprung from learned Sapience:
He sweares by swift-pac'd Titans fiery Car,
By Marses Launce, the fearfull God of war,
By Cupids Bow, Mercuries charming Rod,
By Bacchus Diety, that drunken God.
By grim fac'd Pluto, and Auernus Caues,
By Eolus blasts, and Neptunes raging Waues,
By his sweet Mistris bright translucent eyes,
All other Oathes his humour doth despise.

Epigram 20.

[Signeor Serano to and fro doth range]

Signeor Serano to and fro doth range
And at high Noone he visits the Exchange:
With stately gate the peopled Burse he stalkes,
Prying for some acquaintance in those walkes;
Which if he spye, note but his strange salute,
Marke how he'l spread to shew his broaking sute,
When he perhaps that ow'd that cast apparell,
Not a fortnight since at Tyborne fought a quarrell.

Epigram 21.

[Old Grubsons Sonne a stripling of good age]

Old Grubsons Sonne a stripling of good age,
Twill make one laugh to see him and his Page,
Like to a garded Vrchin walkes the streets,
Looking for reuerence of each one he meets:
Eagles must honour Owles, and Lyons Apes,
And wise men worship fooles for farre fetcht shapes;

Epigram 22.

[Great Captaine Sharke doth wonderfully muse]

Great Captaine Sharke doth wonderfully muse,
How he shall spend the day that next ensues:
There's no Play to be playd, but he hath seene,
At all the Theaters he oft hath beene:
And seene the rise of Clownes, and fall of Kings,
Which to his humour no contentment brings.
And for he scornes to see a Play past twice:
Hee'l spend a time with his sweet Cockatrice.

Epigram 23.

[A compleat Gallant that hath gone as farre]

A compleat Gallant that hath gone as farre,
That with his hands from skyes hath pluckt a star:
And saw bright Phœbus whē he did take Coach:
And Luna when her throne she did approach:
And talkt with Iupiter and Mercury,
With Vulcan and the Queene of Lechery.
And saw the net the stumpfoot Black-smith made,
Wherein fell Mars and Venus was betrayd,
With thousand other sights he saw in skyes,
Who dares affirme it that this gallant lyes?
I counsell all that either hate or loue him.
Rather beleeue him, then goe to disproue him.

Epigram 24.

[Drusus his portion gallantly hath spent]

Drusus his portion gallantly hath spent,
What though? He did it to a good intent.
Vnto a wise man it seemes neuer strange,
That men should put their mouey to Exchange.
Nay then I saw he was a subtile Fox,
What had he for't I pray, sweet Sir the Poxe.
I doe not like his bargaine: why, wherefore?
His mony still wan'd lesse, his poxe waxe more.
He need not now feare wasting of his stocks.
Spend what he can, he nere shall want the Poxe.

Epigram 25.

[Neate Master Scape-thrift, railes against all ryet]

Neate Master Scape-thrift, railes against all ryet,
Commending much a temperate sparing dyet:
What though he hath beene prodigall and wilde,
Those idle fancies now he hath exilde:
What though he hath beene frequent with excesse
Of Dice, of Drabs, and drowsie Drunkennesse,
Yet now he's chang'd Sir, he is not the man,
The case is alter'd now from what 'twas than:
The Prologue of his wealth did teach him spend,
And 'tis the Epilogue that makes him mend.

Epigram 26.

[A greedie Chuffe once being warn'd in poste]

A greedie Chuffe once being warn'd in poste
To make appearance at the Court of Hell:
Where grisly Pluto hotly rules the roste.
And being summon'd by the passing Bell.
With heapes of gold he would haue bribed Death,
But he disdaining bribes depriu'd his breath.

Epigram 27.

[Doctor Donzago one of wondrous learning]

Doctor Donzago one of wondrous learning,
And in Astronomy exceeding cunning:
Of things thats past and cōming he's discerning,
His mind on Prophesies is euer running,
Of Comets, Meteors, Apparitions,
Of Prodigies, and exhalations,
Of Planets, natures, and conditions,
And of the spheares great calculations,
Yet want of one skill all his cunning smothers,
Who lyes most with his wife himselfe or others.

Epigram 28.

[Braue Bragadocia whom the world doth threaten]

Braue Bragadocia whom the world doth threaten,
Was lately with a Faggot. sticke fore beaten:
Wherefore in kindnesse now my Muse must weepe,
Because his resolution was asleepe.

Epigram 29.

[Walking along the streets the other day]

Walking along the streets the other day,
A ragged Souldier crost me on the way;
And though my purses lyning was but scant,
Yet somewhat I bestow'd to ease his want.
For which he kindly thankt me with his heart,
And tooke his leaue, and friendly we did part.
When straight mine eyes a Horse & Footcloth spy'd,
Vpon whose backe in pompous state did ride,
One, whom I thought was deputie to Ioue,
Yet not this Souldiers wants could pitty moue,
But with disdainefull lookes and tearmes of scorne,
Commands him trauaile whether he was borne.
'Twill almost make a Puritan to sweare,
To see an Asses Horse a cloake to weare.
When Christians must goe naked bare and thin,
Wanting apparell t'hide their mangled skin.
Vaine world vnto thy Chaos turne agen,
Since brutish beasts are more esteem'd then men.

Epigram 30.

[Lieutenant Puffe from Cleaueland is return'd]

Lieutenant Puffe from Cleaueland is return'd,
Where entring of a breach was sorely burn'd:
And from reuenge hee'l neuer be perswaded,
Till the low Countries he hath quite inuaded.
When his hot wrath makes Neatherlands to smoke,
He's bound for Deepe in France with irefull stroke.
But haue a care in these hot warres of France,
Least in a Pockie heat you spoyle your Lance.

Epigram 31.

[A loue-sicke Wooer would a Sonnet write]

Epigram 32.

[Looke how yon Lechers legs are worne away]

Looke how yon Lechers legs are worne away,
With haunting of the Whore-hose euery day:
He knowes more greasie Panders, Bawds, and Drabs,
And eates more Lobsters, Artichockes, and Crabs,
Blew roasted Egges, Potato's Muskadine,
Oysters, and pith that growes i'th Oxes Chine:
With many Drugs Compounds, and Simples store,
Which makes him haue a stomacke to a Whore.
But one day hee'l giue ore when 'tis too late,
When he stands begging through an Iron Grate.

Epigram 33.

[Light finger'd Francis begging in the Iayle]

Light finger'd Francis begging in the Iayle,
Did chance to see a friend of his passe by,
Thinking his lamentations would preuaile,
And that some coyne would from his bountie flye,
These ancient friends, one thrall, and th'other free,
One hungry, lowsie, ragged, and forlorne:
The other fat with prodigality,
Makes him this answer mixt with pride and scorne,
What Frænke (quoth he) art there for Ale & Cakes?
Why how the Diuell comes this lucklesse crosse?
Faith Sir (quoth Franke) your mastership mistakes.
For I am heere for stealing of a Horse,
Troth I mistooke indeed, and so didst thou,
For at this time I haue no money now.

Epigram 34.

[Mounsieur Luxuri hath beene with a Puncke]

Mounsieur Luxuri hath beene with a Puncke,
Wherby his worships purse is shrodely shrunk.
And now for penance of his former ryet,
With good Duke Humfrey he must take his diet.
Thus with a crosselesse purse and meatlesse maw,
I judge his case quite past the helpe of Law.

Epigram 35

[There chanst to meet together in an Inne]

There chanst to meet together in an Inne,
Foure men that thought that lying was no sinne,
The first an old man was in age well enter'd,
The next a trauailer that farre had venter'd,
The third a Poet, in prose and verse attir'd,
The fourth a Painter for his art admir'd:
These foure striued each other to excell.
Who should in lying beare away the Bell:
The old man said that when he was a boy,
To lift nine hundred waight was but a toy,
To iumpe in plaine ground thirtie foote at least:
Then was accounted but an idle jest.
The Trauailer reply'd that he had seene,
The King of Pigmies, and the Fairy Queene:
And beene where triple headed Cerberus,
Did guard the sulphrus gate of Erebus,
The Poet he had beene at Hellicon,
And rak'd from embers of obliuion
Old Saturnes downefall, and Ioues royall rising,
With thousand fictions of his wits deuising,
And for the Painter scornes to come behinde,
He paints a flying Horse, a Golden Hinde,
A Sagitary, and a grim wild man,
A two neckt Eagle, and a cole-blacke Swan.
Now reader tell me which of those foure Lyers,
Doth best deserue the whetstone for their hyers.

Epigram 36.

[Though Death doe Vsurers of life depriue]

Though Death doe Vsurers of life depriue,
Yet their extortions euer shall suruiue.

Epigram 37.

[Miraculous Monsters in the British clime]

Miraculous Monsters in the British clime;
Monsters of Nature sprung from putred slime.
Sampson hat pull'd the Gates of Gaza downe,
No Libian Hercules whose furious frowne,
Would maze strong Gyants, tame the Lyons rage,
Were not so strong as Gallants of this age:
Why you shall see an vpstart Corkebraind Iacke,
Will beare fiue hundred Akers on his backe,
And walke as stoutly as if it were no load,
And beare it to each place of his aboad,
Men of such strength I iudge it necessary.
That none but such should Porters burdens carry.

Epigram 38.

[For Gods loue tell what gallant Gullis that]

For Gods loue tell what gallant Gullis that,
With the great Feather, and the Beauer Hat?
O now I know, his name is Mounsieur Shift,
Great Cozen german to Sir Cuibert Theft,
All his reuenewes still he beares about him,
Whore-house nor ordinary neuer are without him.
False Dice, sharp Knife, and nimble nimming fingers,
Are his sworne subiects and his tribute bringers.
Thus doth he swagger, sharke, steale, filch & quarrell,
Vntill the Hangmans Wardrop hangs his parrell.

Epigram 39.

[A famous House in poasting hast is built]

A famous House in poasting hast is built,
A gallant Porch with Pillars all beguilt,
Braue loftie Chimnies pitty to defile them,
Pray make no fire, for the smoake will soyle them.

Epigram 40.

[A worthy Knight there is of ancient fame]

A worthy Knight there is of ancient fame,
And sweet Sir Reuerence men doe call his name:
By whose industrious policie and wit,
There's many things well tane were else vnfit:
If to a foule discourse thou hast pretence.
Before thy foule words, name Sir Reuerence,
Thy beastly tale most pleasantly will slip,
And gaine thee praise, when thou deseru'st the whip.
There's nothing vile that can be done or spoke,
But must be couered with Sir Reuerence Cloake,
His ancient pedigree who euer seekes,
Shall finde he's sprung from 'mongst the gallant Greekes,
Was Aiax Squire, great Champion to God Mars:
Pray God Sir Reuerence blesse your Worships (------)

Epigram 41.

[Hvnting is all this Gentlemans delight]

Hvnting is all this Gentlemans delight,
Yet out of Towne his worship neuer rides;
He hunts inuisible, and out of sight,
For in the Citie still his Game abides.
He hunts no Lyon, Tygre nor the Bore,
Not Buck, nor Stag, nor Hart, nor Hinde, nor Hound,
But all his sport's in hunting of a Whore,
And in the chase no trauaile he will spare.
He hath one Dog for hunting of the Cunny,
Worth a whole kēnell of your flap-mouth'd hounds,
He will not part with him for any money,
But yet the Curre will course beyond his bounds,
But I aduise him to respect his lot,
Least too much heating make him pockie hot,

Epigram 42.

[Falling a sleepe, and sleeping in a dreame]

Falling a sleepe, and sleeping in a dreame,
Down by the dale that flows with milk & cream,
I saw a Rat vpon an Essex cheese,
Dismounted by a Cambrian clad in Freeze.
To bid his worship eate I had no need,
For like a Serieant he began to feed.

Epigram 43.

[A french and English man at Dinner sate]

A french and English man at Dinner sate,
And neither vnderstanding others prate
The Frenchman sayes, mange proface Monsieur,
The Englishman begins to storme and sweare:
By all the Diuels, and the Diuels dams,
He was not mangie but ith wrists and hams.

Epigram 44.

[A dead dead bargaine is a quicke quicke wife]

A dead dead bargaine is a quicke quicke wife,
A quicke wife lyes ore long vpon ones hands,
But for a dead wife that hath lost her life
A man may sooner vtter then his Lands.
This Riddle greatly doth amaze my head,
That dead things should be quicke, and quicke things dead.
Loe then Ile make an outcrie, wondrous strange,
If death doe any wife of life depriue:
I giue her Husband coyne to boot, and change:
And for his dead wife one that is aliue:
Besides, Ile pay the buriall and the Feast,
And take my wife againe, when she's deceast.

Epigram 45.

[Momus fits mumming like an Anticke elfe]

Momus fits mumming like an Anticke elfe,
Hates others good, nor doth no good himselfe.

Epigram 46.

[Reader if any thing this Booke thee cost]

Reader if any thing this Booke thee cost,
Thou need'st not deeme thy coine and labor lost:
'Twill serue thee well Tobacco for to drie,
Or when thou talkst with mother Anthonie,
'Twill serue for Muckenders for want of better,
So farewell Reader, I remaine thy debter.

Satyre.

Thou that hast euer beene a rouing Thiefe,
A diuing Cutpurse, or a periur'd Slaue,
And in all villanie hast beene the chiefe,
And with a brazen brow canst Iustice braue,
That steal'st thy Pedegree from ancient houses,
And iet'st in broaking Sattin euery day:
That tak'st delight in stabbing and Carowses,
Not caring how thou letst thy loose life stray,
Thou that hast beene a Traytor to thy Prince,
A great Arch-villaine to thy Natiue soyle,
And wouldst by treacherie exile from thence,
The blessed peace hath beene procur'd with toyle.
Thou that hast beene a Machiuilian,
For damned sleights, conceits, and policie:
Thou that hast beene an Antichristian,
Or Schismaticke with blinded Heresie,
If any of these vile iniquities,
Haue beene the Axioms of thy passed life;
Then view the Roles of old antiquities,
And see goods got with falshood, lost with strife.
There shall you see how Iustice euermore,
Hath poyz'd the Ballance, and vpheld the Sword,
How Grauity inspir'd with Wisedomes lore,
Hath Vertue honour'd, and foule vice abhorr'd.
How Treason hath beene seuer'd lim from lim,
How Theft and Murther there haue pay'd their hire,
How those that earst in wordly Pompe did swim,
Haue soyld their fortunes in disgraces mire.
How Periurie hath forfeited his cares,
How Cheating's mounted on the Pillorie,
How gracelasse Impudents that nothing feares,
Doe end their dayes in loathed miserie.
How Vsurie is plagued with the Gout,
How Auarice complaineth of the Stone:
How guiltie Consciences are still in doubt,
How Enuie gnawes on honour to the bone,
How Letcherie is laden with the Poxe,
How Prodigalitie doth end with woe:
How Pandarisme is headed like an Oxe.
Because the Destinies appoint it so.
How Drunkennesse is with the Dropsie fraught,
And made his visage like a fiery Comet.
Who being full must haue the tother draught,
Till like a Swine he wallow in his vomit.
How dam'd Hypocrisie and painted zeale,
And outward shew of painted Holinesse:
(Doth like a Canker eate the publike weale)
All scornefull pride, yet seemes all lowlinesse.
To thee that read'st this, therefore be it knowne,
If any of these vices are immur'd
Within thy heart not to the world yet showne:
If by this reading thou mayest be allur'd,
To turne thy tide of life another way,
And to amendment all thy thoughts incline
And to thy rebell will no more obey,
But seeke by vertuous actions to combine
Fame to thy Friends, and terror to thy foe,
And say 'twas friendly counsell told thee so.

Satyre.

This childish Anticke, doating pie-bald world,
Thraugh which ye Diuel all black sins hath hurld
Hath beene so long by wickednesse prest downe.
From ye freeze-Plow-swaine to th'Imperiall crown.
We haue so long in vice accustom'd beene.
That nothing that is wicked lookes like sin.
The glistring Courtier in his gaudie tire,
Scornes with his heeles to know his russet Sire.
The pettifogging Lawyer crammes vp Crownes,
From hobnaild Boores, & sheep skin country clowns
The gaping greedie, griping, Vsurer,
The Sonne of Hell, and Sathans treasurer:
The base extorting black sould bribing Broaker,
The Bane of Mankind and his Countries choaker.
The helhoundwhelpes the shoulder-clapping Seriant,
That cares not to vndoe the world for Argent.
The Post Knight that will sweare away his soule,
Though for the same the Law his eares doe powle.
The smoakie black-lung puft Tobacconist:
Whose ioy doth in Tobacco sole consist.
The cholericke Gull that's tangled with a Drab,
And in her quarrell will his Father stab.
The baudie drie boand letcherous Baboone,
Would faine repent, but thinkes it is too soone.
The riming lygmonger would be a Poet,
But that the Rascall hath not wit to shew it.
The wrinckled baud, and dam'd vermelian whore
That buyes and sels the poxe to enrich their store.
The greasie eauesdropping dore-keeping Pander,
That with a Punke to any man will wander.
The conycatching shifter steales most briefe,
And when hee's hang'd hee'l cease to be a thiefe.
The drousie Drunkard will carouse and quaffe,
Till like a hog he tumble in his draffe.
Besides, there's diuers other Hell-borne sinnes,
As some great men are wrapt in Misers skinnes,
For feare of whose dislike, Ile hold me still,
And not bumbast them with my Ganders quill.
Consider with thy selfe Good Reader then,
That here thou liust amongst those wicked men,
Who on this earthly stage together keepe,
Like Maggots in a Putrified sheepe,
Whose damned dealings blacke confusion brings,
By the iust iudgement of the King of Kings.

Pastorall Equiuokes, or a Shepheards complaint.

Epitaph.

Heere lies ingrau'd, whose life fell death did sack,
Who to his graue was brought vpon a Beere:
For whom let all men euer mourne in Sacke,
Or else remember him in Ale or Beere.
He who in life, Loues blinded God did lead,
Now in his death lyes heere as cold as lead.

Sonnet. Jn trust lyes Treason.

The fowlest friends assume the fairest formes,
The fairest Fields doth feed the foulest toad:
The Sea at calm'st most subiect is to stormes,
In choysest fruit the canker makes aboad.
So in the shape of all belieuing trust,
Lyes toad-inuenom'd-treason coached close,
Till like a storme his trothlesse thoughts out burst
Who canker-like had laine in trusts repose.
For as the Fire within the Flint confinde,
In deepest Ocean still vnquencht remaines:
Euen so the false through truest seeming minde,
Despight of truth the treason still retaines,
Yet maugre treason, trust deserueth trust,
And trust suruiues, when treason dyes accurst.

Death with the foure Elements.

Two infant-twinnes a Sister and a Brother,
When out of dores was gone their carefull Sire,
And left hir babes in keeping with their Mother,
Who merrily sate singing by thē fire.
Who hauing fill'd a tub with water warme,
She bath'd her girle (O ruthlesse tayle to tell)
The whilst she thought the other safe from harme,
(Vnluckily) into the fire he fell:
Which she perceiuing, lets her Daughter drowne,
And rashly ran to saue her burning Sonne,
Which finding dead, she hastily casts downe,
And all agast, doth to the water runne:
Where seeing t'other was depriu'd of breath,
She 'gainst the earth falls down, & dasht her braines:
Her husband comes, and sees this worke of death,
And desperate hangs himselfe to ease his paines.
Thus Death with all the Elements conspire,
To reaue mans life, Earth, Water, Ayre, and Fire.

An Inkhorne Disputation, or Mungrell conference, betwixt a Lawyer and a Poet.

With a Quarterne of new catcht Epigrams, caught the last Fishing-tide: fit for heauie stomackes in Ember-weekes, Fridayes, and Fasting-euens.

Epigram 1. Vpon the word, Notwithstanding.

Tom swore to Kate, he neuer more would wooe her,
Kate wish't him hangd, when next he com's vnto her:
But Lou's great (litle) God the man cōmanding,
That Tom must needs goe to her Notwithstanding.
Kate rayld, and brawld and scoulded, curst, and band
And 'gainst Toms not withstanding did withstand.
At last the Not withstanding had forsooke,
And Kate affords her Tom a welcome looke.
Thus Notwithstanding did the warres increase
And Stiffe withstanding made the friendly peace.

Epigram 2.

[Hall and his wife into the water slipt]

Hall and his wife into the water slipt,
She quickly Hall fast by the Codpeece gript:
And reason good shee had to catch him there,
For hold she fast she need no drowning feare.
She oft had try'd and prou'd, and found it so,
That thing would neuer to the bottome goe.

Epigram 3.

[Good Besse forbeare, for beare thou canst full well]

Good Besse forbeare, for beare thou canst full well
For thou for bearing, bear'st away the bell.
Thy patience in thy bearing men admires,
That bearing many wrongs yet neuer tires.

Epigram 4.

[Tis onely womens manners, and their carriage]

Tis onely womens manners, and their carriage,
That maketh them vnfit, or fit for Marriage.
Then Madge thy carriage still so good hath bin
Thou getst the Diu'll and all by commings in.

Epigram 5.

[Mall doth commend Sims comlinesse of stature]

Mall doth commend Sims comlinesse of stature,
But most she likes his freenesse of his Nature.
For she will sweare indeed la, and in truth:
That Sim was euer a sweet natur'd youth.

Epigram 6.

[A messenger, (declaring of his mind)]

A messenger, (declaring of his mind)
In making curtesie, let a scape behind,
Hee looking backe, peace (Sirrha) peace (quoth he)
For if you talke, I sure will silent be.

Epigram 7.

[The Merchant (Drubo) hyer'd a seruant lasse]

The Merchant (Drubo) hyer'd a seruant lasse,
And for her wages he doth duly pay.
From Christmas quarter vnto Michaelmas,
She hath it payd her to a haire (they say)
Sometimes betwixt the quarters she doth take it,
For let it come when 'twill shee'le not forsake it.
And for her Master honest Drubo (hee)
He often payes her with a standing fee.

Epigram 8.

[Fie what an idle life man liues (quoth Dicke)]

Fie what an idle life man liues (quoth Dicke)
How idely they their liues away doe passe:
Whil'st painefull women wins both praise and p.
Induring as they were compos'd of Brasse.
I thinke mens idlenesse was neuer such,
And women ne're were occupi'd so much.

Epigram 9.

[It is no wonder wherefore little Nell]

It is no wonder wherefore little Nell,
So bigge below the waste begins to swell:
For being hungry (in the darke she stole,
A hastie Pudding and deuour'd it whole.

Epigram 10.

[As through the Citie I did lately passe]

As through the Citie I did lately passe,
At a Carts tayle, a Beadle whipt a lasse.
I stept vnto him, and I ask'd the cause,
Quoth he I whipt her, for she brake the Lawes:
In letting out her formost Roome for pelfe,
And (for her pleasure) backward lay her selfe.

Epigram 11.

[A little woman did a bigge man wed]

A little woman did a bigge man wed,
And he was loath to lye with her in bed,
For feare to hurt her: then she spyed a Mouse,
That play'd, and leapt, and skipt about the house.
O Husband would I had that Mouse quoth she,
Her skin would make a paire of gloues for me.
So wide (quoth he) I know twill neuer stretch,
Content your selfe (qd. she) young things will reach.

Epigram 12.

[A lustie wench as nimble as an Eele]

A lustie wench as nimble as an Eele,
Would giue a Gallant leaue to kisse and feele,
His itching humour straight-way was in hope,
To toy, to wanton, dally, busse and grope,
Hold Sir (quoth she) my word I will not faile,
For you shall feele my hand, and kisse my T.

Epigram 13. On Mistresse Charitie

In very deedla, and sinceritie,
There is much Charitie in Charitie.
She hath so kinde, so free a liberall heart,
That euery man of her shall haue a part.

Epigram 14.

[Two Sheepe (in Law) did lately long contend]

Two Sheepe (in Law) did lately long contend,
And Wolfe the Lawyer must the matter end.
Who with his fine fines, and his firking fees,
Drawes both their purses to the very lees,
The mony gone, the strife of Law did cease,
They fooles fell out, and beggers made the peace.

Epigram 15.

[Mad dapper Dicke, doth very often shift]

Mad dapper Dicke, doth very often shift,
And yet hee's lowzie through the want of shift.

Epigram 16. On Madam Temperance.

A man that went to trauaile swore to's wife,
He would loue Temp'rance as he lou'd his life,
Indeed he lou'd a faire and beauteous Dame,
(Although intemperate) Temp'rance was her name.
On whom he spent his loue, his lust, his store.
He might as well haue spent it on a whore.

Epigram 17.

[Doll held the Candle, Raph would faine be doing]

Doll held the Candle, Raph would faine be doing,
O when (qd. she) will you frō lewdnes turne ye,
I prethee Doll quoth Raph regard my woing,
In truth quoth Doll lea be, or else ile burne ye.
Raph puts the light out, sweares to haue about,
And yet Doll burn'd him though the fire was out.

Epigram 18.

[As at an Inne I lately did a-light]

As at an Inne I lately did a-light,
I to my Chamber lighted was with lights:
Where a light Curtezan (of manners light)
Make glad my heart, my Liuer, and my Lights.
Yet when the Candle light was me bereft,
For all those lights I was in darkenesse left.

Epigram 19. Light vanitie.

What is more light then vapor, cork, or feather
Or what more light then Vanity can be?
Compact, compose, compare light things together,
And nothing's lighter then a wanton she.
Yet heere's the Riddle, (past my wits to scan)
Her lightnesse weighes downe many a heauy man.

Epigram 20.

[Twas ne're so hard (since first the world began)]

Twas ne're so hard (since first the world began)
To finde an honest true right, handed man.
Hath man two left hands? no; I pray how then,
Are men nor right hand, or left handed men?
The left hand now, may well be call'd the left,
For true and honest dealing it hath left.
And for the right hand, 'tis the wrong hand sure,
It selfe to wrong, or wrong doth still inure.
So to conclude (I doubt) aboue the ground
A true right handed man, can scarce be found.

Epigram 21.

[My Lawyer said the case was plaine for mee]

My Lawyer said the case was plaine for mee,
The Angell told him so hee tooke for fee:
But yet my Angell and my Lawyer lyed,
For at my Iudgement I was damnifi'd.

Epigram 22.

[As Gold is better that's in fire tride]

As Gold is better that's in fire tride,
So is the Bankside Globe that late was burn'd:
For where before it had a thatched hide,
Now to a stately Theator 'tis turn'd.
Which is an Emblem, that great things are won,
By those that dare through greatest dangers run.

Epigram 23.

[Good companie's in such request with Jone]

Good companie's in such request with Jone,
Tis death to her to walke or lye alone.

Epigram 24.

[I scorne (quoth Alice) to be put downe by any]

I scorne (quoth Alice) to be put downe by any,
And yet 'tis knowne she's bin put downe by many.

Epigram 25.

[My Ladies foysting-hound (surnamed Muske)]

My Ladies foysting-hound (surnamed Muske)
Did chance to mute vpon my Ladies buske:
But ouer all the world, 'twixt Heauen and Hell,
I thinke no Muske had euer stronger smell.

Epilogve.

A BRAVE SEA-FIGHT in the Gulph of Persia.

A farewell and hearty well-wishing to the noble attempts of our English Sea and Land forces, with their Allies and Confederates.

You sons of Mars that furrow Neptunes brow,
And o're the dang'rous Deep (vndanted) plow;
You who esteeme your Countries honor more,
Than life or pelfe, (which Peasants doe adore)
Your noble Ancestours, whose memories
Are borne by Fame as farre as Titans Rise,
And vniversally diuulg'd from thence
The Circle of the worlds circumference,
Let their example be a spurre to you,
That you their worthy vertues may pursue:
They were but men, and you are each so much,
They were victorious, may you each be such;
They had good courage guided with good skill,
Which skill and Courage, Fortune, Grace and Will,
I doe implore th'Almighty to bestow,
On you in generall, All, both high and low.
Time doth record our Britaines matchlesse force
By Sea and Land, with valiant foot or horse,
Hath made France tremble and proud Spaine to quake,
And great Ierusalems foundations shake:
And as true valour did inspire their brests,
So Victory and Conquest crown'd their Crests.
O may your good intendments fall out right,
The God of Battels still your Battels fight;
That as your Fathers were, so you may be,
Rare Patternes vnto your posteritie:
That all our Foes with terrour now may know
They haue beene beaten, and they must be so,
True Honour, Fame, and Victory attend you:
And high Iehouah in your cause defend you:
That Immortality your fames may Crowne,
And GOD may haue the Glorie and Renowne.

TAYLORS PASTORALL, BEING BOTH HISTORICALL And Satyricall.

OR, The noble Antiquitie of Shepheards, with the profitable vse of Sheepe:

With a small touch of a scabbed Sheepe, and a Caueat against that Infection.

[All those that will not reade this plaine Epistle]

All those that will not reade this plaine Epistle,
Lay downe the Booke, on Gods name, and goe whistle.

TAYLORS PASTORALL, BEING BOTH HISTORICALL And Satyricall.

OR, The noble Antiquitie of Shepheards, with the profitable vse of Sheepe.

[Apollo (Father of the Sisters nine]

[Wise and Inscrutable, Omniscient]

A. E. I. O. V. two Anagrams of the fiue Vowels, the one serues for the glorious name of GOD, and the other in the Spanish tongue is a Sheepe, which name the Prophet Esay doth figuratiuely or mystically call our Creator Ieova, or Iehovah, Oveia, is a Sheepe.

Wherein may bee perceiued, that there is no Word, Name or Action, in or vnder Heauen, but hath one or more of the fiue Vowels, and that no word or Name hath them all without other Letters, but Ieova, and Oveia. Which doth admonish vs in the feare and reuerence of the Almightie, because in all our thoughts, words and actions, some part of his wonderfull Name is infinitely included. And withall that Oveia or a Sheepe is a most significant Emblem, or signe of our God and Sauiours innocencie and patient sufferings.

Sonnet.

[Now cheerefull Sol in his illustrious Carre]

[This was a Lambe, whose like was neuer any]

This was a Lambe, whose like was neuer any,
Whose loue and pitty fed and cloth'd so many:
And 'tis no doubt, but these good deeds of his,
Did helpe to lift his Soule to endlesse Blisse.

[And now from solid Prose I will abstaine]

Here followeth a touch of paultry Scabbed and infectious kinds of Sheepe, which J thinke fit to place by themselues in the lagge end of my Booke, as farre as J can from the cleaue, sound and profitable Sheepe before mentioned, for feare the bad should infect the good.

THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED. WITH The Uoyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof, in a Boat of browne-Paper, from London to Quanborough in Kent.

As also, a Farewell to the matchlesse deceased Mr. Thomas Coriat.

The Profits arising by Hemp-seed are Cloathing, Food, Fishing, Shipping, Pleasure, Profit, Iustice, Whipping.

A Preamble, Preatrot, Preagallop, Preavack, Preapace, or Preface; and Proface my Masters, if your stomackes serue.

THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED: WITH The Uoyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof, in a Boat of browne-Paper, from London to Quanborough in Kent.

Sweet sacred Muses, my inuention raise
Vnto the life, to write great Hempseeds praise.
This grain growes to a stalk, whose coat or skin
Good industry doth hatchell, twist, and spin,
And for mans best aduantage and auailes
It makes clothes, cordage, halters, ropes and sailes.
From this small Atome, mighty matters springs,
It is the Art of nauigations wings;
It spreads aloft, the lofty skie it scales,
Flies o're the great Leuiathan and Whales,
Diues to the boundlesse bottome of the deepe,
Wher Neptune doth mongst dreadful monsters keep.
From Pole to pole, it cuts both Seas and Skyes,
From th'orient to the occident it flyes.
Kings that are sandred farre, by Seas and Lands,
It makes them in a manner to shake hands.
It fils our Land with plenty wonderfull,
From th'Esterne Jndie, from the great Mogull,
From France, from Portingale, from Venice, Spaine,
From Denmarke, Norway, it scuds o're the maine,
Vnto this Kingdome it doth wealth acrue
From beyond China, farre beyond Peru.
From Belgia, Almaine, the West Jndies, and
From Guiny, Biny, Island, New found-land,
This little seed is the great instrument
To shew the power of God Omnipotent,
Whereby the glorious Gospell of his Sonne,
Millions misled soules hath from Sathan wonne.
Those that knew no God in the times of yore,
Now they their great Creator doe adore.
And many that did thinke they did doe well
To giue themselues a sacrifice to Hell,
And seru'd the Diuell with th'inhumane slaughters,
Of their vnhappy haplesse sonnes and daughters.
Now they the remnant of their liues doe frame
To praise their Makers and Redeemers name.
Witnesse Virginia, witnesse many moe,
Witnesse our selues few hundred yeares agoe,
When in Religion, and in barbarous natures,
We were poore wretched misbeleeuing creatures.
How had Gods Preechers saild to sundry coasts,
T'instruct men how to know the Lord of Hosts?
But for the Sayles which he with wind doth fill.
As Seruants to accomplish his great will.
But leauing this high supernaturall straine,
I'le talke of Hempseed in a lower vaine.
How should we haue gold, siluer, jems, or Iewels,
Wine, oyle, spice, rice, and diuers sorts of fewels:
Food for the belly, cloathing for the backe,
Silke, Sattin, Veluet, any thing we lacke,
To serue necessities? How should we get
Such sorts of plenteous fish, but with the net?
The Smelt, Roach, Salmon, Flounder and the Dace,
Would in fresh riuers keepe their dwelling place.
The Ling, Cod, Herring, Sturgeon, such as these
Would liue and dye in their owne natiue Seas.
Without this seed the Whale could not be caught,
Whereby our oyles are out of Greenland brought.
Nay wer't not for the net made of this seed,
Men could not catch a Sprat whereon to feed.
Besides, it liberally each where bestowes
A liuing vpon thousands where it growes;
As beaters, Spinners, Weauers, and a crue
Of haltermakers which could scarce liue true,
But for th'imployment which this little graine
Doth vse them in, and payes them for their paine.
The Rope makers, the Net makers, and all
Would be trade falne, for their trade would fall.
Besides, what multitudes of Fishers are
In euery Sea-towne, numbers past compare,
Whilest they their seruants, children and their wiues
From Hempseeed get their liuing all their liues.
The Fish mangers would quickly goe to wrack,
The lacke of this seed would be their great lack,
And being now rich, and in good reputation,
They would haue neither Hall nor Corporation.
And all that they could buy, or sell, or barter,
Would scarce be worth a Gubbin once a quarter.
The mounting Larke, that seemes so high to flye,
Vntill she seemes no greater then a Flie;
And to the flaming Sunne doth chirp and prate,
Doth in the net come to her ending date,
My neighbour Woodcocke, buzzard and the Gull,
And Philip Sparrow all most plentifull.
All sorts of faire fowle, or the foulest fowle
From the degree of the Eagle to the Owle,
Are with ingenuous jins, grins, nets and snares
For mans reliefe oft taken vnawares:
Deeres, Hares, and Conies would too much abound,
And ouer-run the beating breeding ground,
And Weezels, Polcats, Wildcats, Stoats and such
Like spoyling Vermin, would annoy men much,
But for toyles, hayes, for traps, for snares and grins,
Which brings vs food and profit by their skins.
No Plowman liues beneath the azure Cope,
But for his plough or cart must vse the rope:
No Hostler liues in ours, or other Lands,
But makes the halters Horses falling bands.
Bels would hang dead within the loftie steeple
And neuer call to Church forgetfull people,
Mute like a bagbite, that hath lost his bag,
Except the Bell ropes made the clappers wag.
It were an endlesse taske to goe about it,
To reckon those that cannot liue without it.
Alasse what would our silken Mercers be?
What could they doe (sweet Hempseed) but for thee?
Rash, Taffata, Paropa, and Nouato,
Shagge, Fillizetta, Damaske and Mockado,
No Veluets Piles, two Piles, pile and halfe Pile,
No Plush, or Grograines could adorne this Ile,
No cloth of siluer, Gold, or Tisue, here:
Philip and Cheiny neuer would appeare
Within our bounds, nor any Flanders-serge
Could euer come within our Kingdomes verge:
Should Mercers want these things with diuers more
Their trade were nothing or else very poore.
This seed doth helpe the Grocer euery season,
Or else his wisedome could not yeeld a reison;
He could not long be Currant in his state,
And (scarcely worth a fig) would end his Date.
For Cloues his credit would be clouen quick,
Nor from the loafe or lumpe, his lips could licke:
No Nutmegs, Liquoris, or biting graines
Or Almons for a Parrat, were his gaines,
Sans Ginger weakely he would run his Race,
And Powltry Mace, would put downe Indian Mace:
And he vnable (through his want of pelfe)
To pepper vs, or yet to prune himselfe.
The Draper of his wealth would much be shorted.
But that our cloathes and Kersies are transported,
Our cottons, penistones, frizadoes, baze,
Our sundry sorts of frizes, blackes and grayes.
And linnen Drapers but for transportation,
Could hardly Canuase out their occupation.
Hempseed doth yeeld or else it doth allow
Lawne, Cambricke, Holland, Canuase, Callico,
Normandy, Hambrough, strong poledauis, Lockram.
And to make vp the Rime (with reason) Buckram.
The Goldsmiths trade would totter and vnsettle,
And he could be a man of no good mettle,
Were't not for Sailes and Ropes that Ships doe rig,
That bring gold, siluer, many a Sow and Pig;
Which makes them by an admirable skill
To liue by that which many a Horse doth kill,
Which is the Fashions; for continually
They sell the fashion, but they seldome buy.
And braue wine Marchants, little were your gaine,
By Mallegoes, Canaries Sacke from Spaine,
Sweet Allegant, and the concocted Cute,
Hollock and Tent would be of small repute.
Your Bastards their owne Fathers would forget,
Nor they our Gossips lips no more would wet.
The wind no Muskadine could hither bandy,
Or sprightfull Malmesey out of fruitfull Candy.
Liatica or Corsica could not
From their owne bearing breeding bounds be got.
Peter-se-mea, or head strong Charnico,
Sherry, nor Rob-o-Dauy here could flow.
The French Frontinitcke, Claret, Red nor White,
Graues nor High-Country could ourhearts delight.
No Gascoygne, Orleance, or the Chrystall Sherrant
Nor Rhenish from the Rheine would be apparant.
Thus Hempseed, wth these wines, our land doth spread
Which if we want, wine Marchants trades were dead.
The Vintners trade were hardly worth a rush
Vnable to hang vp a signe, or bush;
And were't not for this small forgotten graine
Their coniuring at midnight would be vaine.
Anon, anon, would be forgotten soone,
And he might score a pudding in the Moone,
But not a pinte of Clarret in the Sunne,
Because the emptie hogshead could not runne.
His blushing lattice would looke pale and wan,
Nor could he long be a well liquord man:
No more could all his regiments of pots
Affright men daily, with scores, bills, and shots.
The Taylors trade would hardly get them bread
If Hempseed did not furnish them with thread;
And though it be a terror to most theeues
Yet it this occupation neuer greeues,
They loue it, black, brown, yellow greene, red, blew,
Which is a signe, that Taylers must be true:
The worthy Company, of warmelin'd Skinners
Would in short space be miserable sinners
It Hempseed did not oft supply their boxes
With Russian Sables, Miniuers and Foxes:
With Beares & Budges; and rare powdered Ermines,
And with the skins of diuers beasts and Vermines.
The Habberdasher of small ware, would be
In a small time, a man of small degree:
If Hempseed did not helpe him by the great,
Small would his gaines be, to buy cloathes or meat.
Then might his wares be rightly tearmed small
Which would be eyther few or none at all.
And Dyers though you doe no colours feare,
'Tis Hempseed that doth you to riches reare,
Woad, Madder, Indico, and Cutcheneale,
Brazil, and Logwood, and aboundant deale
Of drugs, which did they not your wants supply,
You could not liue, because you could not dye.
Apothecaries were not worth a pin,
If Hempseed did not bring their commings in;
Oyles, Vnguents, Sirrops, Minerals, and Baulmes,
(All Natures treasure, and th'Almighties almes,)
Emplasters, Simples, Compounds, sundry drugs
With Necromanticke names like fearefull Bugs,
Fumes, Vomits, purges, that both cures, and kils,
Extractions, conserues, preserues, potions, pils,
Ellixers simples, compounds, distillations,
Gums in abundance, brought from foraigne nations.
And all or most of these sorenamed things
Helpe, health, preseruatiues; and riches brings.
There's many a Gallant dallying with a Drab,
Hath got the Spanish pip, or Naples scab,
The Gallia Morbus or the Scottish fleas,
Or English Poxe, for all's but one disease.
And though they were perfum'd with Ciuet hot
Yet wanting these things they would stinke and rot,
With gowts, Consumptions, Palsies, Lethargies,
With apoplexies, quinzies, plurifies,
Cramps, cataracts, the teare-throat cough and tisick
From which, to health men are restor'd by Physicke,
Agues, quotidian, quartane, tertian, or
The leprosie, which all men doe abhor.
The stone, strangury, botches, biles, or blaines,
Head-aches, cankers, swimming of the braines,
Ruptures, Hernia aquosa, or Carnosa,
Or the Eolian hernia ventosa.
All Dropsies, Collicks, Iaundizes, or Scabs,
Gangrenaes, Vlcers, wounds, and mortall stabs.
Illiaca passioes, Megrims, Mumps, or Mange,
Contagious blouds, which throgh the veins do range
Scurfes, meazles, murraines, fluxes, all these griefes,
Transported medicines daily bring releefes,
Most seruiceable Hempseed but for thee,
These helpes for man could not thus scattered be.
Tobacoes fire would soone be quenched out,
Nor would it leade men by the nose about:
Nor could the Merchants of such Heathen Docks
From small beginnings purchase mighty stocks:
By follies daily dancing to their pipe
Their states from rotten stinking weeds grow ripe;
By which meanes they haue into Lordships run
The Clients being beggered and vndone:
Who hauing smoak'd their Land to fire and ayre
They whiffe and puffe themselues into dispaire.
Ouid 'mongst all his Metomorphosis
Ne're knew a transformation like to this,
Nor yet could Oedipus e're vnderstand,
How to turne Land to smoake, and smoake to Land.
For by the meanes of this bewitening smother,
One Element is turn'd into another,
As Land to fire, fire, into Ayrie matter,
From ayre (too late repenting) turnes to water.
By Hempseed thus fire water, aire, earth, all
Are chang'd by pudding, leafe, roule, pipe and ball.
Lip licking Comfit-makers, by whose trade,
Dainties come thou to me are quickly made;
Baboones, and hobby horses, and owles, and apes,
Swans, geese, dogs, woodcocks, & a world of shapes,
Castles for Ladies, and for Carpet Knights,
Vnmercifully spoyld at feasting fights,
Where hattering bullets are fine sugred plums,
No feare of roaring guns, or thundring drums:
There's no tantara, sa sa sa, or force,
Of man to man, or warlike horse to horse;
No mines, no countermines, no pallizadoes,
No parrapets, or secret ambuscadoes,
Of bloud and wounds, and dismall piercing lances
Men at this sight are free from such mischances.
For many gallants guilded swords doe weare,
Who fight these battels without wit or feare:
All striuing as they did for honour thirst,
All greedy which can giue the onset first;
Each one contending in this Candied coyle,
To take most prisoners, and put vp most spoyle.
Retiring neuer when they doe assaile,
But most aduenturously with tooth and nayle,
Raze, ruinate, demolish, and confound,
The sugred fabricke leuell with the ground.
And hauing layd the buildings thus along,
They swallow downe, and pocket vp the wrong.
That who so that way afterwards doe passe,
Can see no signe where such a Castle was:
For at these warres most commonly 'tis seene,
Away the victors carry all things cleane.
It fortunes in these battels now and then
Women are better Souldiers farre then men:
Such sweet mouth'd fights as these doe often fall
After a Christning, or a Funerall.
Thus Hempe the Comfit-makers doth supply,
From them that newly liue, and newly dye.
If the blacke Indians or Newcastle coales
Came not in Fleets, like fishes in the sholes.
The rich in gownes and rugs themselues might sold,
But thousands of the poore might statue with cold.
Smiths, Brewers, Diers, all estates that liues,
This little seed seruie or comfort giues.
For why, our Kingdome could not serue our turne,
For Londons vse, with wood seuen yeares to burne:
And which way then could coales supply our need,
But by th'Almighties bounty and this seed?
You braue Neptunians, you salt water crew,
Sea-plowing Marriners; I speake to you:
From Hemp you for your selues and others gaine
Your Sprit-sayle, fore-sayle, top-sayle, & your maine,
Top, and top-gallant, and your mizzen-abast,
Your coursers, bonnets, drablers, fore and aft,
The sheats, tacks, boliens, braces, halliars, tyes,
Shrowds, ratlings, lanyards, tackles, lifts, and guies,
Your martlines, ropeyarnes, gaskets, and your stayes,
These for your vse, small Hemp-seed vp doth raise:
The boirope, boatrope, guestrope, catrope, portrope
The bucket rope, the boat-rope, long or short rope,
The entering-rope, the top-rope (and the rest
Which you that are acquainted with know best:
The lines to sound in what depth you slide,
Cables and hausers, by which ships doe ride:
All these, and many moe then I can name,
From this small seed, good industry doth frame.
Ships, Barks, Hoyes, Drumlers, Craires, Boats, all would sink,
But for the Ocum caulk'd in euery chink.
Th'vnmatched Loadstone, and best figur'd Maps
Might shew where foraine Countries are (perhaps)
Thel Compasse (being rightly toucht) will show
The thirty two points where the winds do blow;
Men with the Iacobs staffe, and Astrolobe
May take the height and circuit of the Globe:
And sundry Art-like instruments looke cleare
In what Horizon, or what Hemisphere
Men sayle in through the raging ruthlesse deepe,
And to what coast, such and such course to keepe;
Guessing by th'Artike, or Antartike starre,
Climates and countries being ne're so farre.
But what can these things be of price or worth
To know degrees, heights, depths, East. W.S. North
What are all these but shadowes, and vaine hopes,
If ships doe eyther want their Sailes or Ropes?
And now ere I offend, I must confesse
A little from my theame I will digresse;
Striuing in verse to shew a liuely forme
Of an impetuous gust, or deadly storme.
Where vncontrouled Hyperborean blasts
Teares all to tatters, Tacklings, Sailes, and Masts;
Where boysterous puffes of Eurus breath did hiz
And mongst our shrouds and cordage wildely whiz;
Where thundering Joue amidst his lightning flashing
Seem'd ouerwhelm'd with Neptunes mountaine dashing
Where glorious Titan hath his burning light,
Turning his bright Meridian to blacke night:
Where blustring Eole blew confounding breath,
And thunders fearefull larum threatned death,
Where Skyes, and Seas, Haile, Wind, and slauering Sleet
As if they all at once had meant to meet
In fatall opposition, to expire
The world, and vnto Chaos backe retire.
Thus whilst the Winds and Seas contending gods,
In rough robustious fury are at ods,
The beaten ship tost like a forcelesse feather,
Now vp, now downe, & no man knowing whither:
The Topmast some time tilting at the Moone,
And being vp doth fall againe as soone,
With such precipitating low descent,
As if to hels blacke Kingdome downe she went,
Poore ship that rudder. or no steerage feeles,
Sober, yet worse then any Drunkard reeles,
Vnmanag'd, guidlesse, too and fro she wallowes,
Which (seemingly) the angry billowes swallowes.
Midst darkenesse, lightning, thunder, fleet, and raine,
Remorcelesse winds and, mercy-wanting Maine,
Amazement, horror, dread from each mans face
Had chas'd away liues bloud, and in the place
Was sad despaire, with haire heau'd vp vpright
With ashy visage, and with sad affright,
As if grim Death with his all murdering dart,
Had ayming beene at each mans bloudlesse heart,
Out cryes the Master, lower the top-saile, lower,
Then vp aloft runs scambling three or foure,
But yet for all their hurly burly hast,
E're they got vp, downe tumbles Saile and Mast.
Veere the maine sheat there, then the Master cride,
Let rise the fore tack, on the Larboord side:
Take in the fore-sayle, yare, good fellowes, yare,
Aluffe at helme there, ware no more, beware.
Steere South, South East there, I say ware, no more,
We are in danger of the Leeward shore,
Cleere your maine brace, let goe the bole in there,
Port, port, the helme hard, Romer come no neere.
Sound, sound, heaue, heaue the lead, what depth, what depth?
Fadom and a halfe, three all,
Then with a whiffe, the winds againe doe puffe,
And then the Master cries aluffe, aluffe,
Make ready th'anker, ready th'anker hoe,
Cleere, cleere the boighrope, steddy, well steer'd, so;
Hale vp the boat, in Sprit-sayle there afore,
Blow winde and burst, and then thou wilt giue o're,
Aluffe, clap helme a lee, yea, yea, done, done,
Downe, downe alow, into the hold, quicke runne.
There's a planck sprung, somthing in hold did break.
Pump bullies, Carpenters, quicke stop the leake.
Once heaue the lead againe, and sound abaffe,
A shafnet lesse, seuen all.
Let fall the Ancker there, let fall,
Man man the boat, a woat hale, vp hale,
Top yet maine yard, a port, yeere cable alow,
Ge way a head the boat there hoe, dee row,
Well pumpt my hearts of gold, who sayes amends
East and by South, West and by North she wends.
This was a weather with a witnesse here,
But now we see the skyes begin to cleare,
To dinner hey, and lets at ancker ride,
Till winds grow gentler, and a smoother tide.
The Shoe-maker and Cobler with their Ends
One alwayes makes, and t'other euer mends:
Take away Hemp, the sole and vpper leather
I know could neuer well be sow'd together.
And for the Cobler it appeareth plaine
That hee's the better workman of the twaine,
For though a Shoomaker in art excell,
And makes his shoes and boots neuer so well:
Yet euermore it is the Coblers trade
To mend the worke the Shoomaker hath made.
The Cobler (like a Iustice takes) delight
To set men that doe walke aside, vpright.
And though he looke blacke as he carried coles,
He daily mendeth desperate wicked soles:
Though Crownes and Angels may perhaps be scant,
Yet store of peeces he doth neuer want:
And let his worke be ended well or ill,
Here's his true honour, he is mending still.
And this his life and occupation is,
And thus he may thanke Hempseed for all this.
For Hempseed if men rightly vnderstand,
Is knowne the greatest Iustice in a Land:
How could men trauaile safely, here and there,
If Hempseed did not keepe a Theefe in feare;
No man within his house could liue or rest
For villaines, that would pilfer and molest,
And breake downe walls, and rifle chests and truncks
To maintaine drinking, dicing. Knaues and Punks:
That many a one that's wealthy ouer night,
Would e're the breake of day be begger'd quite:
Worth thousands lately, now not worth a groat,
And hardly scapes the cutting of his throat.
No doubt but many a man doth liue and thriue,
Which but (for Hemp-seed) would not be aliue;
And many a wife and Virgin doth escape
A rude deflouring, and a barbarous rape:
Because the halter in their minds doe run,
By whom these damned deeds would else be done.
It is a balwarke to defend a Prince.
It is a Subiects armour and defence:
No Poniard, Pistoll, Halbert, Pike, or Sword
Can such defensiue or sure guard afford.
There's many a Rascall that would rob, purloine,
Pick pockets, and cut purses, clip and coine,
Doe any thing, or all things that are ill,
If Hempseed did not curbe his wicked will.
'Tis not the breath or letter of the Law
That could keepe Theeues rebellious wils in awe;
For they (to saue their liues) can vse perswasions.
Tricks, sleights, repriues, and many strange euasions.
But tricke, repriue, or sleight nor any thing
Could euer goe beyond a Hempen string.
This is Lawes period, this at first was made
To be sharpe Iustice executing blade.
This string the Hangman monthly keepes in tune,
More then the Cuckoes song in May or June,
It doth his wardrobe, coine and stocke vpreare,
In euery moneth and quarter of the years.
Besides it is an easie thing to proue,
It is a soueraigne remedie for loue:
As thus, suppose your thoughts at hourely strife
Halfe mad, and almost weary of your life,
All for the loue of some faire female creature,
And that you are entangled with her feature,
That you are sad, and glad, and mad and tame,
Seeming to burne in frost, and freeze in flame,
In one breath, sighing, singing, laughing, weeping,
Dreame as you walke, and waking in your sleeping,
Accounting houres for yeares, and moneths for ages,
Till you enioy her, that your heart encages,
And she hath sent you answers long before
That her intent is not to be your whore:
And you (for your part) meane vpon your life
Ne're while you liue to take her for your wife.
To end this matter, thus much I assure you,
A Tiburne Hempen-caudell well will cure you.
It can cure Traytors, but I hold it fit
T'apply't ere they the treason doe commit:
Wherefore in Sparta it ycleped was,
Snickup, which is in English Gallow-grasse.
The Libians call'd it Reeua, which implies
It makes them dye like birds twixt earth and skyes,
The name of Choak-wort is to it assign'd,
Because it stops the venom of the mind.
Some call it Neek-weed, for it hath a tricke
To cure the necke that's troubled with the crick.
For my part all's one, call it what you please,
'Tis soueraigne 'gainst each Common-wealth disease,
And I doe wish that it may cure all those
That are my Soueraignes and my Countries foes.
And further, I would haue them search d and seene
With care and skill when as their wounds be green,
For if they doe to a Gangrena runne,
There's little good by Hempseed can be done;
For could I know mens hearts, I hold it reason
To hang a Traytor in his thought of treason:
For if his thought doe grow vnto an act
It helpes not much to hang him for the fact.
But that example may a terror strike
To others, that would else attempt the like.
To end this point of Hempseed, thus in briefe
It helps a trueman, and it hangs a Theefe.
Rates, Imposts, Customes of the Custome-house
Would at the best rate scarce be worth a Louse:
Goods in and out, which dayly ships doe fraight,
By guesse, by tale, by measure and by weight.
Which yearely to such mighty summes amount,
In number numberlesse: or past account:
Were't not for Hempseed, it doth plaine appeare
These profits would not be a groat a yeare.
Columbus, Cortois, Magellan, and Drake,
Did with this seed their great discoueries make.
Braue Hawkins, Baskeruile, Cauendish, Fennor, Best,
Smith, Sherley, Rawleigh, Newport, and the rest,
Web, Towerson, Willoughby, Sir Thomas Roe,
The Lord 'la Ware, Frobusher, many moe.
Nichols, and Malum, Rolph, and Midleton,
And Sir Iames Lancaster, and Wirbringhton.
And all the worthy things that these men did
Without this seed had bin vndone, and hid,
Fame ne're had trumpetted their noble fames
And quite forgotten were their acts and names.
The worlds seuen wonders, wer'e not for this grain
In poore remembrance, or forgot had laine,
The wals of Babel, sixty miles about,
Two hundred foote in height, thicke fifty foot:
Which Queene Samiramis in state did reare,
Imployed three hundred thousand men ten yeare.
Nor the great Image that at Rhodes was made
Whose mettall did nine hundred Camels lade.
The Pyramides of Ægypt, so renownd
At th'foot in compasse forty acres ground:
The which in making twenty yeares did then
Imploy at worke thirty sixe thousand men.
The Toomb of Mausoll, King of Carea
Built by his Queene, (kind Artimesia)
So wondrous made by art and workemanship
That skill of man could neuer it outstrip;
'Twas long in building, and it doth appeare
The charges of it full two millions were.
Dianaes Temple built at Ephesus
Had bin vnheard of, and vnknowne to vs,
Which was two hundred twenty yeares in building
With marble pillars and most sumptuous guilding.
The image of Olimpique Jupiter,
Had from Achaya not beene fam'd so farre,
Nor Pharoes Watch towre wch the world renownes
Which cost 400.fourescore thousand crownes.
Thus without Hemp-seed we had neuer knowne
These things, nor could they to the world be shown.
O famous Coriat, hadst thou come againe
Thou wouldst haue told vs newes, direct and plaine,
Of Tygers, Elephants, and Antelops
And thousand other things as thicke as hops,
Of men with long tailes, faced like to hounds,
Of oysters, one whose fish weigh'd forty pounds,
Of spiders greater then a walnut shell
Of the Rhinoceros thou wouldst vs tell,
Of horses tane with hawkes, of beares of buls,
Of men with eares a span long, and of guls,
As great as Swans, and of a bird call'd Ziz
Whose egge will drown'd some threescore villages,
Of cranes, and pigmies, lizzards, buzzards, owles,
Of swine with hornes, of thousand beasts and foules.
All these and more then I to minde can call
Thou wouldst haue told vs, and much more then all,
But that our expectations were preuented,
By death, which makes thy friends much discontented.
But farewell Thomas, neuer to returne
Rest thou in peace within thy forraigne Vrne,
Hempseed did beare thee o're the raging some
And O I wish that it had brought thee home,
For if thou hadst come backe, as I did hope,
Thy fellow had not beene beneath the Cope.
But we must loose that which we cannot saue.
And freely leaue thee whom we cannot haue.
Moreouer, Hempseed hath this vertue rare
In making bad ground good, good corne to beare,
It fats the earth, and makes it to excell
No dung, or marle or mucke can do't so well:
For in that Land which beares this happy seed
In three yeares after it no dung will need,
But sow that ground with barley, wheat, or rye
And still it will encrease aboundantly;
Besides, this much I of my knowledge know
That where Hemp growes, no stinking weed can grow,
No cockle, darnell, henbane, tare, or nettle
Neere where it is can prosper, spring, or settle,
For such antipathy is in this seed,
Against each fruitlesse vndeseruing weed,
That it with feare and terror strikes them dead,
Or makes them that they dare not shew their head.
And as in growing it all weeds doth kill
So being growne, it keepes it nature still,
For good mens vses serues, & still releiues
And yeelds good whips and ropes for rogues and theeues.
I could rehearse of trades a number more
Which but for Hempseed quickly would grow poore;
As Sadlers for their elks haire to stuffe their sadles,
And girses, and a thousand fidle fadles;
But that Ile put my Reader out of doubts,
What a rich thing it is being worne to clouts:
For now how it to Paper doth conuert
My poore vnable Muse shall next insert.
And therefore noble and ignoble men
Iudge gently of the progresse of my pen,
Jn forma pauperis, poore men may sue,
And I in forme of paper speake to you.
But paper now's the subiect of my booke,
And from whence paper its beginning tooke;
How that from little Hemp and flaxen seeds,
Ropes, halters, drapery, and our napery breeds,
And from these things by art and true endeauour,
All paper is deriued, whatsoeuer.
For when I thinke but how is paper made
Into Phylosophy I straightwayes wade:
How here, and there, and euery where lyes scatter'd,
Old ruin'd rotten rags, and ropes all tatter'd.
And some of these poore things perhaps hath beene
The linnen of some Countesse or some Queene,
Yet lyes now on the dunghill, bare and poore
Mix'd with the rags of some baud, theefe, of whore.
And as these things haue beene in better states
Adorning bodies of great Potentates,
And lyes cast off, despised, scorn'd, deiected,
Trod vnder foot, contemn'd and vnrespected,
By this our vnderstandings may haue seeing
That earthly honour hath no certaine beeing.
For who can tell from whence these tatters springs?
May not the torne shirt of a Lords or Kings
Be pasht and beaten in the Paper mill
And made Pot-paper by the workemans skill?
May not the linnen of a Tyburne slaue,
More honour then a mighty Monarch haue:
That though he dyed a Traitor most disloyall
His shirt may be transform'd to Paper-royall?
And may not dirty socks from of the feet
From thence be turn'd to a Crowne-paper sheet?
And dunghill rags, by fauour, and by hap,
May be aduanc'd aloft to sheets of cap?
As by desert, by fauour and by chance
Honour may fall, and begg'ry may aduance,
Thus are these tatters allegoricall
Tropes, types, and figures, of mans rise or fall.
Thus may the reliques of sincere Diuines
Be made the ground-worke of lasciuious lines,
And the cast smocke that chast Lucretia wore
Beare baudy lines betwixt a knaue and whore.
Thus may a Brownists zealous ruffe in print
Be turn'd to Paper, and a play writ in't.
Or verses of a May pole, or at last
Iniunctions for some stomacke hating Fast.
And truely 'twere prophane and great abuse,
To turne the brethrene linnen to such vse,
As to make Paper on't to beare a song,
Or Print the Superstitious Latine tongue,
Apocrypha, or Ember-weekes, or Lent,
No holy brother surely will consent
To such Idolatry, his spirit and zeale
Will rather trouble Church, and common-weale.
He hates the Fathers workes, and had much rather
To be a bastard, then to haue a Father.
His owne interpretation he'll affoord
According to the letter of the word,
Tropes, Allegories, Types, similitudes,
Or Figures, that some mysticke sense includes.
His humour can the meaning so vnfold,
In other fashions then the Fathers could:
For he (dogmatically) doth know more
Then all the learned Doctors knew before.
All reuerend Ceremonies he'l oppose,
He can make an Organ of his nose,
And spin his speech with such sincerity,
As if his bridge were falne in verity.
The Cope and Surplesse he cannot abide,
Against the corner-Cap he out hath cride,
And calls them weeds of Superstition,
And liueries of the whore of Babylon.
The Crosses blessing he esteemes a curse,
The Ring in marriage, out vpon't 'tis worse.
And for his kneeling at the Sacrament,
In sooth he'le rather suffer banishment,
And goe to Amsterdamd, and liue and dye
E're he'l commit so much Idolatry.
He takes it for an outward Seale or Signe,
A little consecrated bread and wine,
And though it from his blessed Sauiour come
His manners takes it sitting on his bum.
The Spirit still directs him how to pray,
Nor will he dresse his meat the Sabbath day,
Which doth a mighty mysterie vnfold,
His zeale is hot, although his meat be cold,
Suppose his Cat on Sunday kill a Rat,
She on the Munday must be hang'd for that.
His faith keepes a continuall Holy day,
Himselfe doth labour to keepe it at play:
For he is read and deeply vnderstood
That if his faith should worke 'twould doe no good,
A fine cleane fingerd faith must saue alone,
Good workes are needlesse, therefore he'l do none.
Yet patience doth his spirit so much inspire,
He'l not correct a Seruant in his ire,
But when the spirit his hot furie layes.
Hee congregates his folkes, and thus he sayes:
Attend good Nichodemus, and Tobias,
List to your reuerend Master Ananias,
And good Aminadab, I pray attend,
Here's my man Jsmael highly did offend;
He told a lye, I heard his tongue to trip,
For which most surely he shall tast the whip.
Then after some sententious learned speech,
The seruant humbly doth let fall his breech,
Mounts on his fellowes backe as on a Mule,
Whilst his pure Maister mounts his rod of rule.
The boy in lying with his tongue did faile,
And thus he answers for it with his taile.
O Vpright, Sincere, Holy execution,
Most patient, vnpolluted absolution.
Shall Paper made of linnen of these men,
Be stain'd with an vnsanctified pen?
In sooth who ere doth so, bee't he or she,
They little better then the wicked be,
Children of Sathan and abhomination,
The brood of Belials cursed congregation,
The bastard off spring of the purple whore,
Who doe the Babylonish Beast adore.
From the Creation to the generall Flood,
The name of Paper no man vnderstood:
But by tradition still from Sire to Son,
Men liuing knew the deeds by dead men done.
Yet many things were in the Deluge sau'd
In stony Pillars charactered and grau'd.
For the most part antiquity agrees,
Long since the floud men writ in barkes of trees:
Which was obseru'd late in America,
When Spanish Cortois conquered Mexica.
Then after in Fig-leaues and Sicamour,
Men did in Characters their minds explore.
Long after, as ingenuous spirits taught,
Rags and old Ropes were to perfection wrought
Into square formes yet how to giue a name
Vnto their workemanship they could not frame.

The Originall of Paper.

How it Propagates the Gospell.

How many liue by it being Paper.

All this and more is paper, and all this,
From fruitfull Hempseed still produced is.
Were't not for rags of this admired Lint,
Dead were the admirable Art of Print.
Nor could the Printers with their formes & proofes.
Worke for their owne and other mens behoofes.
Octauo, Quarto, Folio, or sixteene:
Twelues, nor yet sixty foure had e're beene seene,
Nor could their Pages be the meanes to feed
And cloth them and their families at need.
The Stationer that liues, and gaineth well,
And doth the word of God, both buy and sell,
I know not which way he could liue and eate,
If printed paper did not yeeld him meat.
Some foolish knaue (I thinke) at first began
The slander that three Taylers are one man:
When many a Taylers boy, I know hath beene,
Hath made tall men much fearefull to be seene,
The boy hath had no weapon, nor no skill,
But armed with a Taylers Paper-bill,
Which being edgd with Jtems, stiffnings facings,
With Bumbast, cottons, linenings, and with laceings,
The boy hath made a man his head to hide
And not the bare sight of the Bill abide.
When boyes with paper Bils frights men so sore,
'Tis doubtlesse but their Masters can doe more,
And many millions both of boyes and men,
Doe onely liue, and flourish with the pen:
Yet though the pen be through the world renown'd
'Twere nothing except paper were the ground.

A Uoyage in a Paper-boat from London to Quinborough.

I therefore to conclude this much will note
How I of Paper lately made a Boat,
And how informe of Paper I did row
From London vnto Quinborough Ile show.
I and a Vintner (Roger Bird by name)
(A man whom Fortune neuer yet could tame)
Tooke ship vpon the vigill of Saint Iames
And boldly ventur'd downe the Riuer Thames,
Lauing and cutting through each raging billow,
(In such a Boat which neuer had a fellow)
Hauing no kinde of mettall or no wood
To helpe vs eyther in our Ebbe or Flood:
For as our boat was paper so our Oares
Were Stock-fish, caught neere to the Island shores.
Thus being Oar'd and shipt away we went.
Driuing 'twixt Essex Calues, and sheepe of Kent:
Our Boat a female vessell gan to leake
Being as female vessels are, most weake,
Yet was shee able which did greeue me sore,
To drowne Hodge Bird and I and forty more.
The water to the Paper being got,
In one halfe houre our boat began to rot:
The Thames (most lib'rall) fild her to the halues,
Whilst Hodge and I sate liquor'd to the calues.
In which extremity I thought it fit
To put in vse a stratagem of wit,
Which was, eight Bullocks bladders we had bought
Puft stifly full with wind, bound fast and tought.
Which on our Boat within the Tide we ty'de,
Of each side foure, vpon the outward side.
The water still rose higher by degrees.
In three miles going, almost to our knees,
Our rotten bottome all to tatters sell,
And left our boat as bottomlesse as Hell.
And had not bladders borne vs stifly vp,
We there had tasted of deaths fatall cup.
And now (to make some sport) Ile make it knowne
By whose strong breath my bladders all were blown.
One by a cheuerell conscienc'd Vsurer,
Another by a drunken Bag piper,
The third a Whore, the fourth a Pander blew,
The fift a Cutpurse, of the Cursed crew,
The sixt, a post-knight that for fiue groats gaine
Would sweare & for foure groats forsweare't againe.
The seauenth was an Informer, one that can
By informations begger any man.
The eight was blowne vp by a swearing Royster,
That would cut throats as soone as eate an Oyster.
We being in our watry businesse bound,
And with these wicked winds encompass'd round,
For why such breaths as those it fortunes euer,
They end with hanging, but with drowning neuer;
And sure the bladders bore vs vp so tight,
As if they had said, Gallowes claime thy right.
This was the cause that made vs seeke about,
To finde these light Tiburnian vapours out.
We could haue had of honest men good store,
As Watermen, and Smiths, and many more,
But that we knew it must be hanging breath,
That must preserue vs from a drowning death.
Maze, Rubicon, Elue, Volga, Ems, Scamander,
Loyre, Moldoue, Tyber, Albia, Seyne, Meander,
Hidaspes, Jndus, Jnachus, Tanaies,
(Our Thames true praise is sarre beyond their praise)
Great Euphrates, Iordane, Nilus, Ganges, Poe,
Tagus and Tygris, Thames doth farre out-goe.
Danubia, Jster, Xanthus, Lisus, Rhrine,
Wey, Seuerne, Auon, Medway, Isis, Tine,
Dee, Ouze, Trent, Humber, Eske, Tweed, Annan, Tay,
Firth (that braue Demy-ocean) Clide, Dun, Spay,
All these are great in fames, and great in names,
But great'st in goodnesse is the riuer Thames,
From whose Diurnall and Nocturnall flood
Millions of soules haue fewell cloathes and food;
Which from twelue houres to twelue doth still succeed,
Hundreds, & thousands both to cloath & feed.
Of watermen, their seruants, children, wiues,
It doth maintaine neere twenty thousand liues.
I can as quickly number all the starres,
As reckon all things in particulars:
Which by the bounty of th'All-giuing giuer
Proceeds from this most matchlesse, famous Riuer.
And therefore 'tis great pirty, shelfe or sand
From the forgetfull and ingratefull land,
Should it's cleare chrystall entrailes vilefy,
Or soyle such purenesse with impurity.
What doth it doe, but serues our full contents,
Brings food, and for it takes our excrements,
Yeelds vs all plenty, worthy of regard
And dirt and mucke we giue it for reward?
Oh what a world of Poets that excell
In art, haue fabled riuers out of hell,
As Erebus, Cocitus, Acheron,
Stix, Orchus, Tartarus, and Phlegeton,
And all infernall Barathrums Damn'd Creekes,
With Charons Passengers, and fearefull shriekes,
Who writing drinking Lethe to their shames
Vnthankefully they haue forgot the Thames.
But noble Thames, whilest I can hold a pen
I will diuulge thy glory vnto men:
Thou in the morning when my coine is scant
Before the euening dost supply my want.
If like a Bee I seeke to liue and thriue,
Thou wilt yeeld hony freely to my hiue,
If like a dronc I will not worke for meate,
Thou in discretion giues me nought to eate
Thou the true rules of Iustice dost obserue,
To feed the lab'rer, let the idle sterue,
And I so many faithlesse men haue found
As any man that liues vpon the ground,
Who haue done me wrong and themselues no good,
And swore, and forswore in their damned mood:
Whilst I (fond I) haue lent and giuen away
To such as not so much as thankes will pay,
For shame and modesty I name them not;
But let their black soules beare the impure blot
Of falshood periury, and odious lyes
That diuels in shape of Mankind can deuise.
If these lines happen to their hands to come,
They'l pick their teeth, look downward and cry hum,
But goodnesse how should euer I expect,
From such who doe so true a friend neglect.
And therefore Thames, with thee I haue decreed
Because thoa neuer faild me in my need,
To thee, to thee againe I doe retire
And with thee Ile remaine till life expire,
Thou art my Mistresse, and oft times from thee
Thy liberalitie hath flow'd to me,
And for thou alwayes giuest me meanes to liue
My selfe (most thankefully my selfe doe giue.
Momus thou Sonne of Somnus, and of Nox,
Take not my lines all for a Paradox:
For most of them seeme true, and I doe rue
That many of them I doe know too true.
Sleepe Momus sleepe, in Murceas slothfull bed,
Let Morpheus locke thy tongue within thy head:
Or if thou needst wilt prate, prate to this end
To giue commends to that thou canst not mend.
'Tis not a guilded Gull made vp with oathes,
That sweares and dams himselfe into good cloathes,
That weares his cloake beneath his skirts and wast
Cause men may see how he is trust and brac'd:
Such a fantasticke asse, I care not for,
He flewts my lines, and I doe him abhor.
My poore inuention no way is supply'd,
With cutting large thongs from anothers hide:
I haue not stolne a syllable or letter
From any man, to make my booke seeme better.
But similies, comparisons, each line,
Indifferent, good or bad, they all are mine,
Yet I confesse I haue read many a booke
From whence I haue some obseruations tooke.
Which I make vse of, as occasions touch,
And any Poet (I thinke) will doe as much.
I will not brag, to all men bee it knoshne
(By learning) I haue nothing of mine owne,
But had I tongues and languages, like many
Sure I should filch and steale as much as any.
But like an Artlesse Poet, I say still,
I cm a Taylor, true against my will.
Thus ending (like to Iasons Golden-fleece)
This worke of Hempseed is my Master-peace.

TAYLORS TRAVELS To Hamburgh in Germanie.

[When Christians dare Gods Sabboth to abuse]

When Christians dare Gods Sabboth to abuse,
They make themselues a scorne to Turkes & Iewes:
You stealing Barabasses beastly race,
Rob God of Glory, and your selues of Grace.
Thinke on the supreame Iudge who all things tryes,
When Iewes against you shall in Iudgement rise.
Their feigned truth, with feruent Zeale they show,
The truth vnfeign'd you know, yet will not know.
Then at the Barre in new Ierusalem,
It shall he harder much for you then them.

TAYLORS TRAVELS TO Pragve IN Bohemia.

[A Pamphlet (Reader,) from the Presse is hurld]

Reader, take this in your way.

A Pamphlet (Reader,) from the Presse is hurld,
That hath not many fellowes in the world:
The manner's common, though the matter's shallow,
And 'tis all true, which makes it want a fellow.

[I come from Bohem, yet no newes I bring]

[This is a Tub of Tubs, Tub of Tubs hall]

This is a Tub of Tubs, Tub of Tubs hall,
Who ne're had fellow yet, nor euer shall;
O had but Diogenes but had this a ton,
He would had thought that he more roome had won,
Then Alexanders Conquests, or the bounds,
Of the vast Ocean and the solid grounds.
Or had Cornelius but this tub, to drench
His Clients that had practis'd too much French,
A thousand hogsheads then would haunt his firkin,
And Mistris Minks recouer her lost mirkin.
This mighty Caske great Bacchus vs'd to stride,
When he to drunkards hall did often ride.
And in this barrell he did keepe his Court,
Bathing himsefe in Rhenish for disport.
But now these eight yeares it hath dry beene kept;
In it the wine God hath not pist or wept;
That now the Chappell, and the Caske combine,
One hath no preaching, t'other hath no wine.
And now the vse they put it to is this,
'Tis shew'd for mony, as the Chappell is.

[There for a token I did thinke it meet]

There for a token I did thinke it meet,
To take the shooes from off this Prince his feet:
I doe not say I stole, but I did take,
And whil'st I liue, Ile keepe them for his sake:
Long may his Grace liue to be styl'd a man,
And then Ile steale his bootes too, if I can.
The shooes were vpright shooes, and so was he
That wore them, from all harme vpright and free:
He vs'd them for their vse, and not for pride,
He neuer wrong'd them, or e're trode aside.
Lambskin they were, as white as Innocence,
(True patternes for the footsteps of a Prince,)
And time will come (as I doe hope in God)
He that in childhood with these shooes was shod,
Shall with his manly feet once trample downe,
All Antichristian foes to his renowne.

[Prague is a famous, ancient, Kingly seate]

Prague is a famous, ancient, Kingly seate,
In scituation and in state compleate,
Rich in aboundance of the earths best treasure,
Proud and high minded beyond bounds or measure,
In Architecture stately; in Attire,
Beizonians Plebeians doe aspire,
To be apparell'd with the stately port
Of Worship, Honour, or the Royall Court;
Their Coaches, and Caroches are so rife,
They doe attend on euery trades-mans wife,
Whose Husbands are but in a meane regard,
And get their liuing by the Ell or Yard,
How euer their Estates may bee defended,
Their wiues like demy Ladies are attended:
I there a Chimney-sweepers wife haue seene,
Habilimented like the Diamond Queene,
Most gaudy garish, as a fine Maid-marrian,
With breath as sweet as any suger carrion,
With sattin cloak, lin'd through with budg or sable,
Or cunny furre, (or what her purse is able)
With veluet hood, with tiffanies, and purles,
Rebatoos frizlings, and with powdred curles,
And (lest her hue or sent should be attainted,)
She's antidoted, well perfum'd and painted,
She's fur'd she's fring'd, she's lac'd, and at her wast:
She's with a massie chaine of siluer brac'd,
She's yallow starch'd, and ruff'd, and cuff'd, and muff'd,
She's ring'd, she's braceleted, she's richly tuff'd,
Her petticote good silke as can be bought,
Her smock about the tale lac'd round and wrought,
Her gadding legges are finely Spanish booted,
The whilst her husband liked a slaue all sooted,
Lookes like a Courtier to infernall Pluto,
And knowes himselfe to be a base cornuto.
Then since a man that liues by Chimney sweepe,
His wife so gaudy richly clad doth keepe,
Thinke then but how a Merchants wife may goe,
Or how a Burgamasters wife doth show;
There by a kinde of topsie turuy vse,)
The women weare the bootes, the men the shooes.
I know not if't be profit or else pride,
But sure th'are oft'ner ridden then they ride:
These females seeme to be most valiant there,
Their painting shewes they doe no colours feare.
Most Art-like plastring Natures imperfections,
With sublimated, white and red complexions;
So much for Pride I haue obserued there,
Their other faults, are almost euery where.

[Sixe things vnto a Trauailer belongs]

Sixe things vnto a Trauailer belongs,
An Asses backe, t'abide and beare all wrongs:
A fishes tongue (mute) grudging speech forbearing.
A Harts quick eare, all dangers ouerhearing,
A dogs eyes, that must wake as they doe sleepe,
And by such watch his corpes from perill keepe.
A swines sweet homely tast that must digest
All Fish, Flesh, Rootes, Fowle, foule and beastly drest;
And last, he must haue euer at his call
A purse well lynde with coyne to pay for all.

[You that haue bought this, grieue not at the cost]

You that haue bought this, grieue not at the cost,
There's something worth your noting, all's not lost,
First halfe a Constable is well bumbasted,
If there were nothing else, your coynes not wasted,
Then I relate of hils, and dales, and downes,
Of Churches, Chappels Pallaces, and Townes,
And then to make amends (although but small)
I tell a tale of a great tub withall,
With many a Gallowes, Gybbet and a wheele,
Where murd'rers bones are broke from head to heele
How rich Bohemia, is in wealth and food,
Of all things which for man or beast is good.
How in the Court at Prague (a Princely place,
A gracious Queene vouchsafed me to grace,
How on the sixteenth day of August last,
King Fredericke to his royall Army past,
How fifty thousand were in armes araid,
Of the Kings force, beside th'Hungarian ayde,
And how Bohemia strongly can appose,
And cuffe and curry all their daring foes.
Then though no newes of state may heere be had,
I know here's something will make good men glad,
No bringer of strange tales I meane to be,
Nor Ile beleeue none that are told to me.

PRINCE CHARLES HIS VVELCOME FROM SPAINE:

VVho Landed at Portsmouth on Sunday the 5. of October, and came safely to London on Munday the 6. of the same, 1623. WITH The Triumphs of London for the same his happie Arriuall.

And the Relation of such Townes as are scituate in the wayes to take post-horse at, from the Citie of London to Douer: and from Callice through all Frænce and Spaine, to Madrid, to the Spanish-Court.

[The Bels proclaim'd aloud in euery Steeple]

The Bels proclaim'd aloud in euery Steeple,
The ioyfull acclamations of the people.
The Ordnance thundred with so high a straine,
As if great Mars they meant to entertaine.
The Bonfires blazing, infinite almost,
Gaue such a heat as if the world did roast.
True mirth and gladnesse was in euery face,
And healths ran brauely round in euery place:
That sure I thinke this sixt day of October,
Ten thousand men will goe to bed scarce (&c.)
This was a day all dedicate to Mirth,
As 'twere our Royall Charles his second birth.
And this day is a Iewell well return'd,
For whom this Kingdome yesterday so mourn'd.
God length his dayes who is the cause of this,
And make vs thankfull for so great a blisse.

[The Prince of Princes, and the King of Kings]

The Prince of Princes, and the King of Kings,
Whose Eye of Prouidence foresees all things,
To whom what euer was, or ere shall be,
Is present still before his Maiesty.
Who doth dispose of all things as he list,
And graspeth Time in his eternall fist;
He sees and knowes (for vs) what's bad or good.
And all things is by him well vnderstood,
Mens weake coniectures no way can areed,
What's in th'immortall Parlament decreed,
And what the Trinitie concludeth there,
We must expect it with obedience here.
Then let not any man presume so farre,
To search what the Almighties councels are,
But let our wils attend vpon his will,
And let his will be our direction still.
Let not Pleibeans be inquisitiue,
Or into any profound State-businesse diue.
We in fiue hundred and nere sixty yeare,
Since first the Norman did the Scepter beare,
Haue many hopefull royall Princes had,
Who as Heau'n pleas'd to blesse, were good or bad,
Beauclarke was first (who was first Henry crown'd)
For learning and for wisdome high renown'd)
Beyond the verge of Christendomes swift Fame,
Did make the world admire his noble name.
The blacke Prince Edward, all his life time ran
The race of an accomplisht Gentleman:
His valour and tryumphant victories,
Did fill the world and mount vnto the skyes.
The warlike Henry of that name the fist,
With his innated vertue vp did lift
His name and fame to such perspicuous grace,
Which time or no obliuion can deface,
Prince Arthur whom our Chronicles record,
To be a vertuous and a hopefull Lord:
His budding fortunes were by death preuented,
And as he liu'd belou'd, he dy'd lamented.
His brother Henry from his fall did spring,
First to be Prince of Wales, then Englands King
He was magnificent and fortunate,
According to the greatnesse of his state.
Next Edward his vndoubted heyre by birth,
Who (for the sins of men vpon the earth)
God tooke him hence as he began to bloome,
Whose worthy memory mens hearts intombe.
Prince Henry last, a Prince of as great hope
As ere was any yet beneath the Cope.
He liu'd and dy'd bewailed and renown'd,
And left this Land with teares of sorrow drown'd.
Then onely this illustrious branch remain'd,
Our gracious Charles, by Heauens high grace ordain'd,
To be our Ioy, whose vertues (as I gather)
Will length the life of his beloued Father.
True loue and honour made his Highnesse please,
Aduenturously to passe ore Lands and Seas.
With hazard of his royall person and
In that, the hope of all our happy Land.
But blessed be his Name, whose great protection
Preseru'd him still from change of ayres infection,
That gaue him health and strength mongst sundry Nations,
T'endure and like their dyets variations,
That though to others these things might be strange,
Yet did his Princely vigour neuer change,
But with a strong and able constitution,
He bore out all with manly resolution.
Loue sometimes made the Gods themselues disguise,
And muffle vp their mighty Dieties,
And vertuous Princes of the Gods haue ods,
When Princes goodnesse doe outgoe the Gods,
Then foolish man this is no worke of thine,
But operation of the power Diuine,
Let God alone with what he hath in hand,
'Tis sawcy, folly, madnesse, to withstand
What his eternall wisedome hath decreed,
Who better knowes then we doe, what we need.
To him lets pray for his most safe protection,
Him we implore for his most sure direction:
Let his assistance be Prince Charles his guide.
That in the end God may be glorifide,
Let vs amendment in our liues expresse,
And let our thankes be more, our sins be lesse.

Amongst the rest this is to bee remembred, that two Watermen at the Tower Wharfe burnt both their Boats in a Bonefire most merrily.

AN ENGLISH-MANS LOVE TO Bohemia.

AN ENGLISHMANS LOVE TO Bohemia.

With a friendly Farewell to all the noble Souldiers that goe from great Britaine to that honourable Expedition.

The most part of the Kings, Princes, Dukes, Marquisses, Earles, Bishops, and other friendly Confederates, that are combined with the Bohemian part.

[The peace of France, with the praise of Archy.

Honour Conceal'd; Strangely Reveal'd:

OR, The worthy Praise of the Vnknowne Merits of the Renowmed Archibald Armestrong, who for his vnexpected Peace-making in France, betwixt the King and the Rochellers, hath this Poem Dedicæted as a Trophee, to his matchlesse Vertues. This being done in the yeare of our Lord, 1623.

'Tis not the Warres of late I write vpon
In France, at the Iles of Rhea or Olleron:
These things were written in K. Iames his Raigne,
Then Read it not with a mistaking Braine.

THE PEACE OF FRANCE, With the Praise of Archy.

HEAVENS BLESSING, AND EARTHS IOY.

Or, A true relation, of the supposed sea-fights and Fire-workes, as were accomplished, before the Royall Celebration of the all-beloued Marriage, of the two peerelesse Paragons of Christendome, Fredericke and Elizabeth.

With Triumphall Encomiasticke Verses, consecrated to the Immortall memory of those happie and blessed Nuptials.

DEDICATED To the illustrous Lampe of true Worth, the noble, Ingenious, judicious, and vnderstanding Gentleman, Sir Iames Mvray Knight.

Vnto the prospect of your Wisedomes eyes,
I Consecrate these Epithalamies.
Not that I thinke them worthy of your view,
But for in Loue my thoughts are bound to you:
I doe confesse my selfe vnworthy farre
To write, in such high causes as these are,
Which, Homer, Virgil, nor the fluent Tully,
In fitting tearmes could scarce expresse them fully:
But since the Muses did their bounties show,
And on me did poore Poësie bestow;
I hold it best to play the thankefull man,
To spend their guifts the best wayes that I can,
And not like pedling Bastards of the Muses,
That like to Lawyers, liue on Times abuses.
Thus vnto you I giue it as it is,
Desiring pardon where there's ought amisse.

[Triumphall Verses.]

EPITHALAMIES.

Or, Encomiasticke Triumphall Verses, Consecrated to the Immortall memory, of the royall Nuptials of the two Parragons of Christendome Fredericke and Elizabeth.

A Sonnet to the Jmperious Maiestick mirrour of King Iames, great Britaines Monarch.

Great Phœbus spreads his Rayes on good & ill,
Dame Tellus feeds the Lyon and the Rat,
The smallest Sayles God Æols breath doth fill:
And Ttetis Harbors both the Whale and Sprat.
But as the Sunne doth quicken dying Plants,
So thy illustrious shine doth glad all hearts:
And as the Earth supplyes our needfull wants,
So doth thy bounty guerdon good desarts.
And like the ayrie Æols pleasant gales,
Thou filst with Ioy the Sailes of rich and pore,
And as the Sea doth harbour Sprats and Whales,
So thou to high and low yeelds harbour store.
Thus Sea, Ayre, Earth, and Titans fiery face,
Are Elementall Seruants to thy Grace.

To Life.

Since that on earth thou wondrous wandring gest,
Arithmeticians neuer number can
The seuerall Lodgings thou hast tane in man,
In Fish, in Fowle, in tame or bruitish beast:
Since all by thee from greatest to the least,
Are squar'd (and well compar'd) vnto a span,
Oh fleeting Life take this my counsell than,
Hold long possession in thy royall breast:
Dwell euer with the King, the Queene, the Prince,
The gracious Princesse, and her Princely Spouse,
In each of these thou hast a lasting house:
Which Fate, nor Death, nor Time, cannot conuince.
And when to change thy Lodging thou art driuen,
Thy selfe and they exalted be to Heauen.

To Death.

To thee, whose auaritious greedy mood,
Doth play at sweepe stake with all liuing things
And like a Hors leech Quaffes the seuerall blood,
Of Subiects, Abiects, Emperours and Kings:
That high and low, and all must feele thy stings,
The Lord, the Lowne, the Caitiffe and the Keasar,
A beggers death as much contentment brings
To thee, as did the fall of Julius Cæsær.
Then since the good and bad are all as one,
And Larkes to thee, no better are then Kites,
Take then the bad, and let the good alone,
Feed on base wretches, leaue the worthy wights,
With thee the wicked euermore will stay,
But from thee, Fæme will take the good away.

To Eternity.

Thou that beyond all things dost goe as farre,
That no Cosmographers could e're suruay.
Whose glory (brighter then great Phebus Carre)
Doth shine, where night doth ne're eclipse the day:
To thee I consecrate these Princes acts.
In thee alone let all their beings be:
Let all the measures of their famous tracts,
In thee begin, but neuer end like thee.
And when thy Seruant Time, giues Life to Death,
And Death surrenders all their liues to Fame:
Oh then inspire them with celestiall breath,
With Saints and Martyrs to applaud thy name.
Thus vnto thee, (as thine owne proper rights)

TAYLORS FAREVVELL, TO THE TOWER BOTTLES.

VERBVM SEMPITERNVM.

Most mightie Soveraigne, to your hands J giue
The summe of that, which makes Us euer liue:
J humbly craue acceptance at your hand,
And rest your Servant ever to Command,

To the Reader

Thou that this little Booke dost take in hand,
Before thou iudge, bee sure to vnderstand:
And as thy kindnesse thou extend'st to mee,
At any time Ile doe as much for thee.

Genesis.

Iehouah heere of nothing, all things makes,
And man before all things his God forsakes.
Yet by th'Almighties mercy 'twas decreed,
Heau'ns Heire should satisfie for mans misdeed.
Mans age is long, and all are great, not good,
And all (saue eight) are drowned in the Flood.
Old Noah, second Sire to worst and best,
Of Cham the curst, Iaphet and Sem the blest.
Of Abrahams starre-like numberlesse encrease,
Of of springs of springs, and his rest in peace.
Of Jsraels going into Ægypt, and
Of their abode and liuing in that Land.
Of Iosephs brethren, faithlesse, and vnkind,
Of his firme Faith, and euer constant mind.
He pardons them that did his death deuise,
He sees his Childrens children, and he dyes.

Exodus.

Th'increase of Iacobs stocke is growne past number,
And feare of them, the Ægyptian King doth cumber.
Who giuing credit to the Inchanters tales,
Commands to kill all Infant Hebrew Males.
But Moses is preserued in the Riuer,
To be a Captaine Israel to deliuer.
Sterne Pharaohs cruell Adamantine heart
Will not permit Gods people to depart.
Ten plagues frō heau'n are on th'Ægyptians powr'd
Bloud, frogs, lice, flyes, beasts, scabs, haile, thundring showr'd.
Grashoppers, darknesse, death of first borne men,
Those were the Ægyptian plagues in number ten.
The Isra'lites are freed, and Pharaohs Host,
In chasing them, are in the red Sea lost.
A cloud doth shrowd them from the burning day,
By night a fierie Piller leades the way.
The murmuring people fearing famine, railes.
God raines down Manna from the Heauen & quailes,
The Law is writ in stone (to Moses giuen)
By Gods owne hand, to guide men vnto Heauen,
The Ceremoniall Sacrifice is taught,
As types of whom our blest redemption's wrought.

Leuiticus.

Heere man is shew'd, it is the Almighties will,
To guard the good, and to correct the ill.
The truest Seruice of the highest stands,
In no mans fancie, but as he commands.
And cause men are so apt from Grace to swerue,
He shewes them here, their Maker how to serue.
The Leuites are appointed by the Lord
To preach vnto his chosen flocke the word.

Numbers.

Old Jacobs blessed off spring numbred are,
Their valiant Captaines and their men of Warre.
Curst Koræh with his kinsman desp'rate Dathan,
And bold Abiram (three sworne Sonnes of Sathan)
Rebell 'gainst Moses, with their tongues vnhallowed,
And by the earth by heau'ns just Vengeance swallowed.
The Israelites to fell confusion brings,
Great Og and Sihon misbeleeuing Kings.
Where Balaam thought to curse of force he blest.
And by his Asse was told how he transgrest.
Fiue Midian Monarchs, Judaes Host doth slay,
And all their spoyle diuided as a pray.
The Land of Canaan, measur'd is, and found,
That in it all things plenteous doe abound.

Deuteronomy.

This Booke againe the Law of God repeats,
With blessings, cursings, teachings, and with threats.
Meeke Moses dyes, lyes in an vnknowne toome,
And Nuns Son (Iosuah) doth supply his roome,

Ioshua.

Great Captaine Ioshua, great in faith and courage,
Through greatest dangers valiantly doth forrage.
He passeth Jordane with his mighty host,
And to the Tribes diuideth Coast from Coast.
The harlot (Rahab) doth preserue the Spyes,
She knowes the Lord that reignes aboue the skyes.
They all passe Jordan. which is parted dry,
Whilst they securely march inuasiuely.
The feare of Cananites doth much increase,
Jerichoes tane, and Manna here doth cease.
Vile Achan closely steales the cursed prey,
And Jsraels beaten from the Wals of Ai,
Fiue Kings are hang'd, and Phebus standeth still,
At Iosuah's prayer, whilst he his Foes did kill.
Iust one and thirty mighty Kings were slaine,
Ere Jsrael could in peace the Land attaine.
Which being done, the bloudy warres doe cease,
Their faithfull Captaine (Joshuah) dyes in peece.

Judges.

Juda is Captaine, Anaks Sonnes are flaine,
The Cananites as vassals doe remaine.
The Israelites rebell and serue strange Gods,
And are all plagu'd with heau'ns correcting rods.
The men of Midia, Isra'l much did greeue,
Stoue Gideon comes their sorrowes to releeue.
And as Gods Spirit doth his Seruant moue,
He ouerthrowes Baals Altar and his Groue.
A womans hand King Iabins Hoste doth quaile,
And kild his Captaine Sis'ra with a naile.
Abimelch (by wrong) the kingdome gaines,
A woman dasht out his ambitious braines.
Victorious Iphtah, rashly sweares (not good)
And ends his conquest in his Daughters blood.
Great Sampson's borne, whoseuer matchlesse strength
Orethrowes the Philistims in bredth and length.
Faire flattering Dalilah, her Lord deceiues,
He's tane himselfe, himselfe of life bereaues.
The Beniamites abus'd a Leuites wife,
For which all but sixe hundred lost their life.

Ruth.

(According to the flesh) this woman Ruth,
Was ancient Grandame to th'eternall Truth.
And though she from the Moabites doth come,
It shewes th'Almighty in all Lands hath some.

1. Samuel.

The Prophet Samuel's borne and Elies Sonnes
To sinne and flat confusion headlong runnes.
The Isralites are by the Lord forsaken,
And by the Philistins the Arke is taken.
The figur'd presence of this all in All,
Doth make the Diuels inuention Dagon fall.
God takes his people to his loue againe,
The Ark's brought backe, the Philistines are slaine.
The Sonnes of Samuel wrong their Fathers trust,
By partiall Iudgements and with bribes vniust.
Saul seeking straying Asses, findes a Crowne,
And is annointed King in Raman towne.
The fell Philistians Jsr'el doth oppresse,
King Saul doth proudly gainst the Lord transgresse,
God dids kill Agag, Saul will haue him spar'd,
His will more than his Gods, he doth regard.
Goliah armed leades an hoste from Gath,
Defies the Lord of Hosts, prouokes his wrath.
Yong Dauid comes, and in his hand a sling,
And with a stone the Gyant downe doth ding.
Old Ishays Sonne before the Kings preferr'd,
And Dauid hath Sauls Daughter for reward.
Th'ingratefull King, seekes Dauids causlesse death,
True hearted Jonathan preserues his breath.
Saul leaues his God, and to a Witch doth goe,
And so himselfe, himselfe doth ouerthrow.
The Philistines his childrens bloud doe spill,
And with his Sword King Saul, King Saul did kill;
Saul leaues his God, and to a Witch doth goe,
And so himselfe, himselfe doth ouerthrow.
The Philistines his childrens bloud did spill,
And with his Sword King Saul King Saul did kill.

2. Samuel.

King Dauids royall heart is fild with woe,
For Ionathan and Saul, his friend, and foe,
In Regall state he liues and flourisheth,
And loues Sauls Grandchild lame Mephibosheth.
Affection blinds him on Uriahs wife,
T'accomplish which, her husband lost his life.
The King's reprou'd by Nathan, and repents.
And by repenting, heau'ns high wrath preuents.
Incestuous Amnon, Absolon doth kill,
For forcing Tamar gainst her Virgin will.
He's reconcil'd vnto his louing Sire,
And proudly to the Kingdome doth aspire.
The old King flees, and ouer Jordane hies,
The Sonne pursuing, and the Father flyes,
Achitophel himselfe hangs in dispaire,
And Absolon dyes hanged by the haire,
The King for his rebellious Sonne doth mourne,
His people numbred are at his returne,
The Lord is wrath, the pestilence increast,
That seuenty thousand dye, and then it ceast.

1. Kings.

The Kingly Prophet (valiant Dæuid dyes,)
His throne is left to Salomon the wise,
False Adoniah, Ioab, Shimei kild,
By his command, as erst his Father wild.
With speed he sends for workmen from farre Coasts,
To build a Temple to the Lord of Hosts,
Before or after him was neuer such,
That had of wisedome or of wealth so much.
A thousand women, some wed, some vnwed,
This wise King to Idolatry misled.
He dyes and's buried by his fathers toome,
And Rehoboam doth succeed his roome.
Now Jsrael from Judah is diuided,
Both Kingdomes by bad Kings are badly guided,
Yet God to Iacobs seed doth promise keepe,
And raises faithfull Pastors for his sheepe,

2 Kings.

Eliah worketh wonders with his word,
By inspiration of the liuing Lord:
He's taken vp aliue, and his blest Spirit,
Doth doubly in Elishaes breast inherit.
Some Kings doe gouerne well, most gouerne ill,
And what the good reformes, the bad doth spill.
Till Isr'el, Iudah, King and Kingdome's lost,
To great Nebuchadnezzar and his host.

1. Chronicles.

Here euery Tribe is numbred to their names,
To their memorials, and immortall fames,
And Dauids acts t'instruct misguided men,
Are briefly here recorded all agen.

Ezra.

The Persian Monarch (Cyrus) granteth leaue,
The Jewes once more their freedome should receiue.
When at Ierusalem they make abode,
They all with zeale repaire the house of God.
Malicious men (with poysnous malice fild)
Makes Artaxerxes hinder those that build.
Yet God so workes, that Israels loue and zeale,
Resumes againe their ancient Church and weale.

Nehemiah.

The booke of Ezra doth concord with this,
Commanding good, forbidding what's amisse.
And godly Nehemiah here reform'd,
What sinne and Sathan had long time deform'd.

Esther.

Here he that dwels in heauen doth deride,
Queene Vshy's and ambitious Hamans pride,
The Iewes are sau'd by Esters suite from death,
And Haman and his Sons, hang'd, loose their breath.
Poore Mordecay is held in high account,
And to great greatnesse humbly he doth mount.
Thus God doth raise all those his Lawes doe seeke,
He layes the lofty low, exalts the meeke.

Iob

No losse of Sonnes and Daughters, goods and all,
Make not this man into impatience fall,
Assailing Sathan tempting wife, false friends,
With perfect patience he all woes defends,
I naked came (quoth he) into this world,
And naked hence againe I shall be hurld.
God giues and takes according to his word,
And blessed euer bee the liuing Lord.

Psalmes.

The blessed Kingly Prophet sweetly sings,
Eternall praises to the King of Kings.
Gods Power, Iustice, Mercy, Fauour, looke
For they are comprehended in this Booke.

Prouerbs.

The wisest man that euer man begot,
In heauenly Prouerbs, shewes what's good what's not.

Ecclesiastes.

Health, strength, wit, valour, wordly wisdome, pelfe,
All's nought, and worse then vanity it selfe.

Salomons song.

This Song may well be call'd, the Song of Songs,
It to the heauenly Bride, and Groome belongs.
It truely shewes Christs loue vnto his loue,
His Church, his Wife, his Virgin Spouse, his Doue.

Isaiah.

This worthy Prophet truely doth foretell,
How Christ shall come to conquer death and hell,
Rewards vnto the godly he repeats,
And to the godlesse he denounceth threats.

Jeremy.

This Man of God long time before foreshoes,
Ierusalems Captiuity and woes.

Lamentations.

He wishes here, his head a fountaine deepe,
That he might weepe, weepe, nothing else but weep.
That he might gush forth flowing streames of teares
For Iudah's thraldome, misery, and feares.

Ezechiel.

In Babylon this Prophet Captiue is,
And there he prophesies of bale and blisse.
How all must come to passe the Lord hath said,
How Iudgement surely comes, although delayd.

Daniel.

The Kings darke dreame, the Prophet doth expound,
For which, he's highly honour'd and renown'd.
Nabuchadnezzar doth an Image frame,
Commands all paine of death t'adore the same.
Three godly Iewes by no meanes will fall downe,
And for contempt are in the fornace throwne.
Where, midst the flames vnhurt they sweetly sing,
Which wonder doth conuert the tyrant King.
Here Daniel Prophesies of Christ to come,
Of Babel, Persia, Græcia, and Rome.

Hosea.

He tels misgouern'd Israel their sinnes,
And how the losse of grace, destruction winnes.

Joel.

This Prophet tels the stubborne-hearted Iewes,
How heau'ns consuming wrath apace ensues.
He therefore doth perswade them to contrition,
And by contrition they shall haue remission.

Amos.

Mans thanklesse heart, and Gods vnmeasur'd loue,
This Prophet doth to Isr'els faces proue.

Obadiah.

He comforts Judah (ouer-prest with woes,)
And prophesies destruction of their foes.

Jonah.

Here Jonah tels the Niniuites, except
Repentance wrath of Heauen doe intercept:
In forty dayes, high, low, rich, poore, great, small,
The Lords hot fury shall consume them all.
With hearts vnfaign'd, the sinfull Citie mournes,
The Lord grants mercy, Ionah backe returnes.

Micah.

He speakes of Isr'els and of Juda's crimes,
And tels them their confusion comes betimes.

Nahum.

The Niniuites againe forsake the Lord,
And are subdu'd by the Assirian sword.
This Prophet comforts those that are opprest,
And tels the godly, they shall be releast.

Habakkuk.

He doth bewaile th'oppression of the poore,
For mercy, humbly he doth God implore.
To keepe the Captiu'd Iewes from fell despaire,
He teaches them a heauenly forme of Prayer.

Zephaniah.

He fils the good with hope, the bad with feare,
And tels the Iewes their thraldome draweth neere.

Haggay.

He exhorteth them to patience in their paine,
And bids them build the Temple once againe.

Zachariah.

He tels the Iewes why they haue plagued beene,
He bids them shunne Idolatry, and sinne.

Malachi.

For sinne he doth reproue both Prince and Priest,
And shewes the comming both of John and Christ.
Which Christ shall be a Sauiour vnto all,
That with true faith obey his heauenly call.

Apocrypha.

These bookes doe all in generall intimate
The State of good men, and the reprobate.
In many places they doe seeme to vary,
And beare a sence from Scripture quite contrary.
In Tobit and Dame Iudith disagrees,
From Text, and Razes in the Machabees.
For which the Church hath euer held it fit,
To place them by themselues, from holy writ.

SALVATOR MVNDI.

A Prayer.

Good God Almighty, (in compassion tender,)
Preserue and keepe King Charles, thy Faiths defender,
Thy Glory, make his Honor still increase,
In Peace, in Warres, and in Eternall peace.

THE BOOKE OF MARTYRS.

1. [The First Part.]

2. The Second Part.

GODS MANIFOLD MERCIES IN THESE MIRACVLOVS DELIVERANCES of our Church of England, from the yeare 1565 vntill this present, 1630. particularly and briefly Described.