All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
A Figure-flinger, or a couz'ning Cunning-man.
The Argvment.
Amongst a foolish, faithlesse, gracelesse, crew,This man hath better credit then Gods word:
For losse that's past, or profit to ensue,
Like to a Tearme, with Customers he's stor'd,
Hee's a Soothsayer, but sayth seldome sooth,
And hath the Diuels great seale for what he doth.
Here now I draw a curtaine and discouer,
Amongst all knaues, the diuels speciall louer:
One that doth Court him still, and daily woe,
And faine would see the diuell but knowes not how,
He has him in his workes, that's his sure place,
But has not art to bring him to his face,
When he could wish him to his outward sense,
The diuell sits laughing in his conscience:
Yet you shall haue this figure-flinger prate,
To his gull client (small wit shællow pate,)
As if he were Lord warden of hell sire,
And Lucifer and he had both one sire.
The Fiends his couzen Germanes (once remou'd)
From earth to hell, where he is best belou'd.
More fustian language from his tongue doth drop,
Then would set forth an honest tradesmans shop:
As if that all Magitians that e're were,
Vnworthy were his learned bookes to beare.
Nor Zoroastres King o'th Bactrians,
Nor the sage Magi of the Persians,
Nor any coniuring Sonne of Cham or Chus:
Nor Faustus with his Mephostophilus,
Cornelius, Agrippa, Simon Magus,
Nor any twixt the Riuer Thames or Tagus,
Nor Britaines Bladud, Cambriaes Merlin, Bacon,
Companions for this man would ne're be taken.
For he is rare, and deeply read indeed,
In the admir'd right reuerend old wiues Creed,
Talkes of the Iewish Thalmud, and Cabals,
Solstitiums and Equinoctials,
Of auguries, of prophesies, predictions,
Prognostications, reuelations, fictions.
And as he could the Elements command,
He seemes as he their minds doth vnderstand.
By Fire he hath the skill of Pyromanty,
By Ayre he hath the Art of Heremanty,
By Water he knowes much in Hidromanty,
And by the Earth hee's skill'd in Geomanty,
Palme Chiromanty, couz'ning Necromancy,
To gull the world, to fulfill fooles fancie,
Hags, ghosts,and goblins, furies, fairies, clues,
He knowes the secrets of the diuels themselues.
There's not a Nimph, a fawne, or goat-foot Satyre,
That liues by Fire, by Aire by Earth, or Water,
Nor Driades or Hamadriades,
Betwixt Septentrio and Meridies,
But he commands them to doe what they list,
If he but bend the brow, or clutch the fist.
He'le tell a mans hearts secrets what he thinkes,
Like Oedepus vnfolds th'ambiguous Sphinx,
With skill surpassing great Albumazers,
He with intelligencing Fiends confers,
And by his wondrous Attacoesticon,
Knowes the Turkes counsell, and what Prester John
Determines, or what businesse she now befals
Amidst the Conclaue of Romes Cardinals.
He can release, or else increase all harmes,
About the necke or wrests by tying charmes.
He hath a tricke to kill the Agues force,
And make the patient better; or much worse,
To the great toe, three letters he can tye,
Shall make the Gowt to tarry or else flye.
With two words and three leaues of foure-leau'd grasse
He makes the tooth-ach, stay, repasse, or passe:
If lost goods you againe would faine haue got,
Goe but to him, and you shall speed, or not.
But he will gaine whether you get or lose,
He'le haue his Fee, for so the bargaine goes:
He'le tell you wonders when you are alone,
Of the Philosophers admired stone:
And that it from Vtopia first did come,
Brought to him by a Spirit, he sent to Rome,
Whereby (t'inrich the world hee dares be bold)
To turne pans, pots, and dripping pans to gold.
And in the Goldsmith's burnisht glistring row,
Place Ironmongers with a fairer show,
Turne Spits and Andir'ns to bright mettle shining,
That when coine's scarce you straight may put to coining,
These and a thousand more, as idely vaine
Fooles swallow, and hee swallowes them againe,
And though the marke of truth he neuer hits,
Yet still this Cormorant doth liue by's wits,
And ne're will want a false deuouring tricke,
Till hells Archcormorant deuoure him quicke.
Amongst all knaues, the diuels speciall louer:
One that doth Court him still, and daily woe,
And faine would see the diuell but knowes not how,
He has him in his workes, that's his sure place,
But has not art to bring him to his face,
When he could wish him to his outward sense,
The diuell sits laughing in his conscience:
Yet you shall haue this figure-flinger prate,
To his gull client (small wit shællow pate,)
As if he were Lord warden of hell sire,
And Lucifer and he had both one sire.
The Fiends his couzen Germanes (once remou'd)
From earth to hell, where he is best belou'd.
More fustian language from his tongue doth drop,
Then would set forth an honest tradesmans shop:
As if that all Magitians that e're were,
Vnworthy were his learned bookes to beare.
Nor Zoroastres King o'th Bactrians,
Nor the sage Magi of the Persians,
Nor any coniuring Sonne of Cham or Chus:
Nor Faustus with his Mephostophilus,
Cornelius, Agrippa, Simon Magus,
Nor any twixt the Riuer Thames or Tagus,
Nor Britaines Bladud, Cambriaes Merlin, Bacon,
Companions for this man would ne're be taken.
For he is rare, and deeply read indeed,
In the admir'd right reuerend old wiues Creed,
Talkes of the Iewish Thalmud, and Cabals,
Solstitiums and Equinoctials,
Of auguries, of prophesies, predictions,
Prognostications, reuelations, fictions.
And as he could the Elements command,
He seemes as he their minds doth vnderstand.
By Fire he hath the skill of Pyromanty,
By Ayre he hath the Art of Heremanty,
By Water he knowes much in Hidromanty,
And by the Earth hee's skill'd in Geomanty,
Palme Chiromanty, couz'ning Necromancy,
To gull the world, to fulfill fooles fancie,
Hags, ghosts,and goblins, furies, fairies, clues,
He knowes the secrets of the diuels themselues.
13
That liues by Fire, by Aire by Earth, or Water,
Nor Driades or Hamadriades,
Betwixt Septentrio and Meridies,
But he commands them to doe what they list,
If he but bend the brow, or clutch the fist.
He'le tell a mans hearts secrets what he thinkes,
Like Oedepus vnfolds th'ambiguous Sphinx,
With skill surpassing great Albumazers,
He with intelligencing Fiends confers,
And by his wondrous Attacoesticon,
Knowes the Turkes counsell, and what Prester John
Determines, or what businesse she now befals
Amidst the Conclaue of Romes Cardinals.
He can release, or else increase all harmes,
About the necke or wrests by tying charmes.
He hath a tricke to kill the Agues force,
And make the patient better; or much worse,
To the great toe, three letters he can tye,
Shall make the Gowt to tarry or else flye.
With two words and three leaues of foure-leau'd grasse
He makes the tooth-ach, stay, repasse, or passe:
If lost goods you againe would faine haue got,
Goe but to him, and you shall speed, or not.
But he will gaine whether you get or lose,
He'le haue his Fee, for so the bargaine goes:
He'le tell you wonders when you are alone,
Of the Philosophers admired stone:
And that it from Vtopia first did come,
Brought to him by a Spirit, he sent to Rome,
Whereby (t'inrich the world hee dares be bold)
To turne pans, pots, and dripping pans to gold.
And in the Goldsmith's burnisht glistring row,
Place Ironmongers with a fairer show,
Turne Spits and Andir'ns to bright mettle shining,
That when coine's scarce you straight may put to coining,
These and a thousand more, as idely vaine
Fooles swallow, and hee swallowes them againe,
And though the marke of truth he neuer hits,
Yet still this Cormorant doth liue by's wits,
And ne're will want a false deuouring tricke,
Till hells Archcormorant deuoure him quicke.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |