 | The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley |  |
1233
A LOCAL POLITICIAN FROM AWAY BACK
Jedge is good at argyin'—
No mistake in that!
Most folks 'at tackles him
He'll skin 'em like a cat!
You see, the Jedge is read up,
And b'en in politics,
Hand-in-glove, you might say,
Sence back in '56.
No mistake in that!
Most folks 'at tackles him
He'll skin 'em like a cat!
You see, the Jedge is read up,
And b'en in politics,
Hand-in-glove, you might say,
Sence back in '56.
Elected to the Shurrif, first,
Then elected Clerk;
Went into lawin' then,
And buckled down to work;
Practised three or four terms,
Then he run for jedge—
Speechified a little 'round,
And went in like a wedge!
Then elected Clerk;
Went into lawin' then,
And buckled down to work;
Practised three or four terms,
Then he run for jedge—
Speechified a little 'round,
And went in like a wedge!
Run fer Legislatur' twic't—
Made her, ever' pop!
Keeps on the way he's doin',
Don't know where he'll stop!
Made her, ever' pop!
Keeps on the way he's doin',
Don't know where he'll stop!
1234
Some thinks he's got his eye
On the gov'nership;—
Well, ef he tuk the track,
Guess he'd make the trip.
On the gov'nership;—
Well, ef he tuk the track,
Guess he'd make the trip.
But I started out to tell ye—
(Now I allus liked the man—
Not fer his politics,
But social', understan'!—
Fer, 's regards to my views,
Political and sich,—
When we come together there
We're purty ap' to hitch)—
(Now I allus liked the man—
Not fer his politics,
But social', understan'!—
Fer, 's regards to my views,
Political and sich,—
When we come together there
We're purty ap' to hitch)—
Ketched him in at Knox's shop
On'y t'other day—
Gittin' shaved, the Jedge was,
Er somepin' thataway.—
Well, I tetched him up some
On the silver bill:—
Jedge says, “I won't discuss it;”
I says, “You will!”
On'y t'other day—
Gittin' shaved, the Jedge was,
Er somepin' thataway.—
Well, I tetched him up some
On the silver bill:—
Jedge says, “I won't discuss it;”
I says, “You will!”
I-says-ee, “I reckon
You'll concede with me,
Coin's the on'y ginuine
Money,” I-says-ee;
Says I, “What's a dollar-bill?”
Says I, “What's a ten—
Er forty-'leven hunderd of 'em?—
Give us specie, then!”
You'll concede with me,
Coin's the on'y ginuine
Money,” I-says-ee;
Says I, “What's a dollar-bill?”
Says I, “What's a ten—
Er forty-'leven hunderd of 'em?—
Give us specie, then!”
1235
I seed I was a-gittin'
The Jedge kind o' red
Around the gills. He hawked some
And cle'red his throat and said—
“Facts is too complicated
'Bout the bill in view,”
Squirmed and told the barber then
He wisht he'd hurry through.
The Jedge kind o' red
Around the gills. He hawked some
And cle'red his throat and said—
“Facts is too complicated
'Bout the bill in view,”
Squirmed and told the barber then
He wisht he'd hurry through.
'Ll, then, I knowed I had him,—
And the crowd around the fire
Was all a-winkin' at me,
As the barber raised him higher—
Says I, “Jedge, what's a dollar?—
Er a half-un,” I-says-ee—
“What's a quarter?—What's a dime?”
“What's cents?” says he.
And the crowd around the fire
Was all a-winkin' at me,
As the barber raised him higher—
Says I, “Jedge, what's a dollar?—
Er a half-un,” I-says-ee—
“What's a quarter?—What's a dime?”
“What's cents?” says he.
W'y, I had him fairly b'ilin'!
“You needn't comb my hair,”
He says to the barber—
“I want fresh air;”
And you'd 'a' died a-laughin'
To 'a' seed him grab his hat,
As I-says-ee, says I, “Judge,
Where you goin' at!”
“You needn't comb my hair,”
He says to the barber—
“I want fresh air;”
And you'd 'a' died a-laughin'
To 'a' seed him grab his hat,
As I-says-ee, says I, “Judge,
Where you goin' at!”
Jedge is good at argyin',
By-and-large; and yit
Beat him at his own game
And he's goin' to git!
And yit the Jedge is read up,
And b'en in politics,
Hand-in-glove, you might say,
Sence back in '56.
By-and-large; and yit
Beat him at his own game
And he's goin' to git!
1236
And b'en in politics,
Hand-in-glove, you might say,
Sence back in '56.
| The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley | |