The history of Lady Julia Mandeville | ||
To Miss Howard.
Belmont, Tuesday.
O Emily! How inconsistent is a heart in love! I entreated Mr. Mandeville not to write to me, and am chagrined at his too exact obedience: I think, if he loved as I do, he could not so easily obey me. He writes to Lady Anne; and, though by my desire,
Convinced that this mutual passion is the designation of Heaven to restore him to that affluence he lost by the partiality of an ancestor and the generous loyalty of his family, I give way to it without reserve; I regard my love as a virtue; I am proud of having distinguished his merit without those trappings of wealth, which alone can attract common eyes. His idea is for ever before me; I think with transport of those enchanting moments
My father to-night gives a ball to Lord Melvin, with whom I am again, unwillingly, obliged to dance. I wish not to dance at all; to make this sacrifice to the most beloved of men: Why have I not courage to avow my sentiments, to declare he alone — This Lord Melvin too, I know not why, but I never see him without horror.
O Emily! How do all men sink on the comparison! He seems of a superior rank of beings. Your Julia will never give her hand to another; she swears this to the dear bosom of friendship.
This detested Lord Melvin is at the door; he will not let me proceed; he tells me it is to a lover I am writing; he says
I feel a dejection of spirits on this subject, which does injury to my father's goodness: perhaps it is no more than the natural effects of absence on a tender and unexperienced heart.
Adieu! I am forced to finish my letter. All good angels guard and preserve my Emily!
Yours,
Julia Mandeville.
The history of Lady Julia Mandeville | ||