A Collection of Poems in Six Volumes

The Mountain-Briton, first of men who fram'd
Bonds for the Mouse, first who the tiny thief
In prison clos'd vexatious—fatal wiles,
And death inextricate—sing, heav'nly Muse.
Thou Phoebus, (for to Mice thyself wast erst
A foe, in antique lore thence Smintheus call'd,)
Inspire the Song; and 'mongst the Cambrian Hills

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Thy Pindus choosing, smile upon the Muse,
Whom lowly themes and humble verse delight.

The Mouse, an hostile Animal, enur'd
To live by rapine, now long time had rov'd
Where'er his lust innate of spoil led on;
And unaveng'd his wicked craft pursu'd;
Long fearless, unaveng'd—All things on earth
Felt his fell tooth, while safe in nimble speed
Evasive, he in ev'ry dainty dish
His revels held secure. Nought was untouch'd,
But ev'ry feast wail'd the domestic foe,
A constant guest unbidden. Nor strong walls
His thefts obstruct, nor massy bars avail,
Nor doors robust, to save the luscious cates:
Through walls, and bars, and doors he eats his way
Contemptuous, and regales with unbought fare.

Thus wail'd the helpless world the general foe,
But Cambria most; for Cambria's od'rous stores
Most stimulate the curious taste of Mouse:
Not with a taste content, or lambent kiss,
(The fate of common cheese,) he undermines
And hollows with reiterated tooth
Eatable Palaces.

The Nation saw,
And rag'd—Revenge and grief distract their minds—
What shou'd they do? They foam, they gnash their teeth,
And o'er their pendant rocks in fury rove,
Restless with rage—for Nature prone to rage

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The Cambrians form'd, and bade their fiery breasts
Burst into sudden flame—that men would deem
Their souls were with their fingers sulphur-ting'd.

It is decreed—Rage prompts them to revenge
Unsated but with blood—Yet by what means,
What art the cautious felon to ensnare,
They doubt: for, Cambria, thy Grimalkin race
Nor to the house defence, nor in distress
So imminent, cou'd aught of succour bring.
Oft had the Cat plac'd at the cavern's mouth
The various ambuscade; as oft with paw
Soft-silent creeping, near the hollow cell
Kept wary watch—In vain—The little Mouse
In little bulk secure, (advantage great
Over a Giant Foe!) if chance he spy
Her watching at his door intent on prey,
Inward he flies, his serpentine recess
Pursues, and caves impervious to Cat:
Nor dares again thrust out his head in air,
Nor form new sallies, till the siege be rais'd,
And danger with the watchful foe withdrawn.

The Cambrians thus, (if Cambrians with the Mouse
We may compare,) when Roman Julius sought
To join the Britons to the world subdu'd,
Eluded his vain toil.—To their retreat
At once a nation vanish'd; in their rocks,
Rampires impregnable, lay safe obscur'd
'Mid circling ruin; and of conquest though

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Despairing, to be conquerable scorn'd.
Their long, unbroken lineage hence they boast,
Their country unsubdued, and ancient tongue.

Thus did the Mouse, by custom tutor'd, oft
Evade the hostile paw; nor Cambria's sons
Had hope from their confederate of the war:
When strait, on th'utmost frontiers of their Land,
Where now Menevia the shrunk honours mourns
Of her divided mitre, of whose walls
Half-buried but an empty name remains,
Behold a Council summons'd. From each side
See Nobles, Fathers, and the vulgar throng
Of stench sulphureous, mix.

An ancient Sage,
Whose length of beard oft from his native hills
The goat with envy ey'd; his hands, his face
With scurf of ancient growth encrusted o'er;
Broken with years, against a post reclin'd,
(By Cambrian backs still shaken) in the midst
Stood visible to all, and with deep tone
These words precipitating, gutt'ral spake.
“Of open war we treat not, but sly theft—
“No foreign foe, but a too inmate guest
“(That heavier evil) summons us to meet.
“Still shall the bold insulter lord it thus,
“The tyrant Mouse? Rouse, aweful Fathers, rouse;
“Ye, to whose breasts your country's good is dear,
“By counsel end these horrors; and if aught

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“Of hope remain, now lend propitious aid:
“So shall your glory grow, your names be known
“Immortal as Cadwalader's in fame.”

He spake, and strait the fragments, mouldy scraps,
Reliques of rapine, monuments of theft,
High in their sight uprearing, rous'd their rage.
Now thirst of dire revenge, now lust of fame
Burns emulous, and fires each Patriot breast;
Each meditates to Mouse unheard-of fate,
And ev'ry brain is hamm'ring on a Trap.

But one 'bove all by th'honour-added name
Of Taffy fam'd, far more for wit renown'd:
Cambria ne'er bred his peer, whether at forge,
Or council; Senator and Blacksmith He.
Thus 'gan the Sage—“Should Cheese, our Nation's boast,
“In Cambria be extinct, I fear our hinds
“Wou'd mourn their whole meals sunk, and Nobles grieve
“The honours lost, that crown'd the second course.
“Since then nor Cambria's courage, nor her Cats
“Against the monsters can prevail, we'll try
“If this mechanic hand, if craft, deceit,
“Can aught advantage: in a foe none asks
“If force prevail, or fraud.”

Strait at this boast,
All fix on Taffy their expecting eyes,
All in glad murmurs speak their promis'd joy,
Wait whence the bliss; question, and burn to know.

Scratching his head, (as British heads demand,)
He ghastly smil'd, and strait with freer air

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Proceeded thus—“When wearied, at the close
“Of yester sun I gave my limbs to rest,
“And slumber deep my eyes had quench'd; a Mouse
“Bold and pursuing, as I guess, the trail,
“Which unconnected Cheese recent exhal'd
“From out my viscous jaws, stole down my mouth
“Then discontinuous; and reaching now
“My very entrails, strait their crude contents
“'Gan gnaw, and through my throat ill-fortified
“My yester's meal, alas! triumphant drags.
“When sudden rous'd from sleep, in his retreat
“I 'twixt my teeth the felon snap'd, and bound
“Vainly rebellious in the biting chain.
“Instructed thus that Mouse might be enthrall'd,
“New visionary prison-houses rise
“In my revolving mind, and such restraints,
“As the late captive of my jaws suggests.
“By what mysterious laws the hand of Jove
“Moves sublunary things! By what hid rules
“The chain of causes acts! the Mouse himself
“To us involuntary succour brings,
“And for the wounds he gave himself prescribes.
“Blush not by such a master to improve;
“From foes to learn, honour nor right forbids.”

These said, homeward he his. Th'applauding throng
Accompany his route, and to his toil
Propitious omens beg. Each to his house
Bends his swift course; each to his Lares flies,

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Glad harbinger of this expected birth
From Taffy's brain: and whilst they tell the tale,
Whilst to the Gods for glad event they bend
Of the great enterprize, the Mousing Kind
(Prophetic instinct!) shew unwonted joy
Gamesome; and (if we credit Fame) beneath
The matron's hand dances the embryo cheese.

Taffy mean while with head, and hand, and heart,
Plies his great work, with Pallas' aid divine
The Mouse-Trap builds. A wonderful machine
Now stood confess'd; and form 'till then unknown
The Tragi-comic edifice indu'd.

Now smile, sweet Muse, and to our sight disclose
The infant fabric; each particular
Dilate, and join them in the finish'd pile.

Of oblong form twin planks of wood compose
The base and roof; a wiry palisade
Fences each side, on whose small columns rais'd
The fabric stands: th'insidious gate invites
With friendly-seeming welcome; but on high,
Depending from a slender thread, the vast
Portcullis threats, to thoughtless Mice sure death.
(Such is the thread of life, spun by the Fates
To Mouse and Man—All on a thread depend.)
Amidst the level roof shoots up a mast
Erect, in whose cleft head a slender beam
Transverse inserted plays, and on each side
Extends its poised arms; whose one extreme

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Depress'd, one equally the pendent door
Exalts. Within, let through a slender bore,
A wire depends that fluctuates with a touch;
The lower part is cramp'd into a hook,
Tenacious of the bait; while th'upper gripes
Th'extremest handle of the treach'rous beam.
But soon as e'er it feels the foe to 've touch'd
The fatal food, the loosen'd portal strait
Lets fall, and speaks the first attack reveng'd.

Things thus dispos'd, instant the pendent hook
Taffy with treason cloaths, and turns to death
The very food of Mouse: but, that his cheese
More fragrant may from far the Foe invite,
Toasts the fell bait, and strengthens the perfume.

And now appear'd the memorable night,
When on his bed Taffy his limbs fatigu'd
Reposing, near his pillow's downy side
His Minion Mouse-Trap set, and all-secure
I'th' faithful centry, slumber sweet indulg'd.
The frolic Mice, (a tribe audacious they)
Safe in the covert of the silent night,
Now sport abroad: when one, a leader Mouse,
Of nose sagacious, born the Gods his foes,
The hostile ambush seeks, led by the scent
Of toasted cheese delicious. The Grate resists
His swift career, and entrance first denies—
But he, to suffer such severe repulse
Indignant, round the wiry fortress scours,
And crisps his nose, and with sagacious beard

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A pass explores; and enter'd now the lines,
Impassable again, of all his wish
At length possess'd, the deadly bait secures,
Feasts on his ruin, and enjoys his fate.

Taffy, whom strait the pendulous door, scarce drop'd,
With sudden clap had wak'd, you might behold
Now on his elbow prop'd, now from his bed
Skipping triumphant, fir'd with thirst to know
What new-come guest. The Mouse ridiculous
Rages within, batters with front and foot,
Proves with his head each wiry interval,
And wears with raging tooth his iron hold.
Driv'n to the toils so raves the Marsian boar
Horrid, and shakes his waving bonds, the sport
Of circling dogs; he flings about his foam,
And on his front erect the bristles stare.

The morrow came, and from her rocky highths,
Precipitant, whole Cambria pours; for strait
In ev'ry ear the novel tale was rise—
Nor wonder, for the Ass, his solemn wont
Relax'd, nor mindful of his late slow pace,
The mountain climbs more wanton than the kid:
Thence with sonorous din from rusty throat,
(The Cambrian Herald simulating,) thrice
Thee, Taffy, bray'd; thrice told the public joy.
Nor less the Owl; (from that great Æra term'd
Cambria's Embassador:) for through her towns,
And utmost limits wand'ring wild that night,
She scratch'd the windows with her ominous beak,

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Grating harsh dissonance, and sung in shrieks
The instant fate of Mouse. The lab'ring rocks
Bring forth, and Pembroke's, and Mervinia's sons
In swarms condens'd rush down; and whom the walls
Of Bonium hold, and Maridunum fam'd
For their prophetic bard, Merlin; and whom
Fruitful Glamorgan feeds, and he that drinks
Of Vaga's stream, with the rough hardy clown
Montgomery manures.—Then Taffy, 'midst
The crowded ring, his raging prey insults.

“Vain are thy efforts—fix'd thy doom of death,
“On this my altar the first victim thou,
“To dye with memorable blood the frame.
“No hope remains: thy flight these wiry posts
“Inexorable bar—Dread, wicked wight,
“The fate thy merits ask; for these thy bonds
“Thou quit'st not but with life.”

The fatal words
Scarce had he spoke, when from the sunny thatch,
(Her wonted haunt, when with extended limbs
She basks luxurious, winking in soft ease,)
Down leap'd the playful Cat.—Her swift approach
The captive eyes, and pricks his ears, and stiff
Bristles his gibbous back, nor dares attempt
The portal now up-drawn; but his sole hope
Of freedom only in his prison fix'd,
With hooked talons grasps his bonds, and hangs
Tenacious by his feet—At length he drops
Out-shaken: instant to her prey the Cat

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Flies rapid, and with rude embrace enfolds,
And savage kisses on her struggling foe
(Vain efforts!) cruelly imprints. No pause
Her rage admits; her sinuous-twirling tail
Denotes the Victor's joy; her body moves
Agil in wanton frolicks, watching now
Prone on the earth intent the destin'd Mouse;
His neck now lightly pats with hurtless paw,
Dissembling love; but ruminates the while
To tear him limb from limb. The Mouser thus,
Witty in tyranny, with various art
Wanton barbarity enjoys: but now,
Tir'd with the sportive mockery, no more
Conceals her rage, but o'er her trembling prey
Like the starv'd lion hangs, and growling tears
His gory entrails, and convulsive limbs.

The circling croud, soon as his hated blood
Sprinkled they spy, fill with glad shouts the air;
And Echo, tenant of the Cambrian hills,
Their clam'rous joy repeats; Plinlimmon's highth,
And Brechin with the loftier Snowdon join:
To th'neighb'ring stars the loud acclaim ascends,
And Offa's Ditch rebellows to the din.

Taffy, for ever live—Ev'n to this day
Thy gift the Cambrian celebrates; and Thee
Commemorates each circling year. The land
Grateful, its native honours to maintain,
Each joyful head crowns redolent with Leek.

Of this translation Mr. Holdsworth declar'd his entire approbation in a letter, by giving it this short character, that it was exceedingly well done. See preface to a dissertation upon eight verses in the second book of Virgil's Georgics. 1749.

A title of Apollo, given him for freeing Smintha, a colony of the Cretans near the Hellespont, from Mice, which much infested them, Ovid. Met. xii. 585. A σμινθα, quæ Cretensium linguâ murem domesticum sign. Ainsworth.

University of Virginia Library

KAMBROMYOMAXIA:

OR THE MOUSE-TRAP; Being a Translation of Mr. Holdsworth's Muscipula, 1737. By ---.