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Poems by the Late Reverend Dr. Thomas Blacklock

Together with an Essay on the Education of the Blind. To Which is Prefixed A New Account of the Life and Writings of the Author

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126

A SOLILOQUY

[_]

Occasioned by the Author's escape from falling into a deep well, where he must have been irrecoverably lost, if a favourite lap-dog had not, by the sound of its feet upon the board with which the well was covered, warned him of his danger.

Quid quisque vitet, nunquam homini satis
Cautum est in horas.------
Horat.
Where am I!—O Eternal Pow'r of heav'n!
Relieve me; or, amid the silent gloom,
Can danger's cry approach no gen'rous ear,
Prompt to redress th' unhappy? O my heart!
What shall I do, or whither shall I turn?
Will no kind hand, benevolent as heav'n,
Save me involv'd in peril and in night!
Erect with horror stands my bristling hair;
My tongue forgets its motion; strength forsakes
My trembling limbs; my voice, impell'd in vain,
No passage finds; cold, cold as death, my blood,
Keen as the breath of winter, chills each vein.
For on the verge, the awful verge of fate
Scarce fix'd I stand; and one progressive step
Had plung'd me down, unfathomably deep,
To gulphs impervious to the chearful sun

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And fragrant breeze; to that abhorr'd abode,
Where Silence and Oblivion, sisters drear!
With cruel Death confed'rate empire hold,
In desolation and primæval gloom.
Ha! what unmans me thus? what, more than horror,
Relaxes ev'ry nerve, untunes my frame,
And chills my inmost soul?—Be still, my heart!
Nor flutt'ring thus, in vain attempt to burst
The barrier firm, by which thou art confin'd.
Resume your functions, limbs! restrain those knees
From smiting thus each other. Rouse, my soul!
Assert thy native dignity, and dare
To brave this king of terrors; to confront
His cloudy brow, and unrelenting frown,
With steady scorn, in conscious triumph bold.
Reason, that beam of uncreated day,
That ray of Deity, by God's own breath
Infus'd and kindled, reason will dispel
Those fancy'd terrors: reason will instruct thee,
That death is heav'n's kind interposing hand,
To snatch thee timely from impending woe;
From aggregated misery, whose pangs
Can find no other period but the grave.
For oh!—while others gaze on nature's face,
The verdant vale, the mountains, woods, and streams;
Or, with delight ineffable, survey
The sun, bright image of his parent God;
The seasons, in majestic order, round

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This vary'd globe revolving; young-ey'd spring,
Profuse of life and joy; summer, adorn'd
With keen effulgence, bright'ning heav'n and earth;
Autumn, replete with nature's various boon,
To bless the toiling hind; and winter, grand
With rapid storms, convulsing nature's frame:
Whilst others view heav'n's all-involving arch,
Bright with unnumber'd worlds; and, lost in joy,
Fair order and utility behold;
Or, unfatigu'd, th' amazing chain pursue,
Which, in one vast all-comprehending whole,
Unites th' immense stupendous works of God,
Conjoining part with part, and, thro' the frame,
Diffusing sacred harmony and joy:
To me those fair vicissitudes are lost,
And grace and beauty blotted from my view.
The verdant vale, the mountains, woods, and streams,
One horrid blank appear; the young-ey'd spring,
Effulgent summer, autumn deck'd in wealth
To bless the toiling hind, and winter grand
With rapid storms, revolve in vain for me:
Nor the bright sun, nor all-embracing arch
Of heav'n, shall e'er these wretched orbs behold.
O Beauty, Harmony! ye sister train
Of Graces; you, who, in th' admiring eye
Of God your charms display'd, ere yet, transcrib'd
On nature's form, your heav'nly features shone:
Why are you snatch'd for ever from my sight,
Whilst, in your stead, a boundless, waste expanse

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Of undistinguish'd horror covers all?
Wide o'er my prospect rueful darkness breathes
Her inauspicious vapour; in whose shade,
Fear, grief, and anguish, natives of her reign,
In social sadness, gloomy vigils keep:
With them I walk, with them still doom'd to share
Eternal blackness, without hopes of dawn.
Hence oft the hand of ignorance and scorn,
To barb'rous mirth abandon'd, points me out
With idiot grin: the supercilious eye
Oft, from the noise and glare of prosp'rous life,
On my obscurity diverts its gaze,
Exulting; and, with wanton pride elate,
Felicitates its own superior lot:
Inhuman triumph! Hence the piercing taunt
Of titled insolence inflicted deep.
Hence the warm blush that paints ingenuous shame,
By conscious want inspir'd; th' unpitied pang
Of love and friendship slighted. Hence the tear
Of impotent compassion, when the voice
Of pain, by others felt, quick smites my heart,
And rouses all its tenderness in vain.
All these, and more, on this devoted head,
Have with collected bitterness been pour'd.
Nor end my sorrows here. The sacred fane
Of knowledge, scarce accessible to me,
With heart-consuming anguish I behold;
Knowledge, for which my soul insatiate burns

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With ardent thirst. Nor can these useless hands,
Untutor'd in each life-sustaining art,
Nourish this wretched being, and supply
Frail nature's wants, that short cessation know.
Where now, ah! where is that supporting arm
Which to my weak, unequal infant steps
Its kind assistance lent? Ah! where that love,
That strong assiduous tenderness, which watch'd
My wishes yet scarce form'd; and, to my view,
Unimportun'd, like all-indulging heav'n,
Their objects brought? Ah! where that gentle voice
Which, with instruction, soft as summer dews
Or fleecy snows, descending on my soul,
Distinguish'd ev'ry hour with new delight?
Ah! where that virtue, which, amid the storms,
The mingled horrors of tumultuous life,
Untainted, unsubdu'd, the shock sustain'd?
So firm the oak which, in eternal night,
As deep its root extends, as high to heav'n
Its top majestic rises: such the smile
Of some benignant angel, from the throne
Of God dispatch'd, ambassador of peace;
Who on his look imprest his message bears,
And pleas'd, from earth averts impending ill,
Alas! no wife thy parting kisses shar'd:

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From thy expiring lips no child receiv'd
Thy last, dear blessing and thy last advice.
Friend, father, benefactor, all at once,
In thee forsook me, an unguarded prey
For ev'ry storm, whose lawless fury roars
Beneath the azure concave of the sky,
To toss, and on my head exhaust its rage.
Dejecting prospect! soon the hapless hour
May come; perhaps this moment it impends,
Which drives me forth to penury and cold,
Naked, and beat by all the storms of heav'n,
Friendless and guideless to explore my way;
Till on cold earth this poor, unshelter'd head
Reclining, vainly from the ruthless blast
Respite I beg, and in the shock expire.
Me miserable! wherefore, O my soul!
Was, on such hard conditions, life desir'd?
One step, one friendly step, without thy guilt,
Had plac'd me safe in that profound recess,
Where, undisturb'd, eternal quiet reigns,
And sweet forgetfulness of grief and care.
Why, then, my coward soul! didst thou recoil?
Why shun the final exit of thy woe?
Why shiver at approaching dissolution?
Say why, by nature's unresisted force,
Is ev'ry being, where volition reigns
And active choice, impell'd to shun their fate,

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And dread destruction, as the worst of ills;
Say, why they shrink, why fly, why fight, why risk
Precarious life, to lengthen out its date,
Which, lengthen'd, is, at best, protracted pain?
Say, by what mystic charms, can life allure
Unnumber'd beings, who, beneath me far
Plac'd in th' extensive scale of nature, want
Those blessings heav'n accumulates on me?
Blessings superior; tho' the blaze of day
Pours on their sight its soul-refreshing stream,
To me extinct in everlasting shades:
Yet heav'n-taught music, at whose powerful voice,
Corrosive care and anguish, charm'd to peace,
Forsake the heart, and yield it all to joy,
Ne'er sooths their pangs. To their insensate view
Knowledge in vain her fairest treasure spreads.
To them the noblest gift of bounteous heav'n,
Sweet conversation, whose enliv'ning force
Elates, distends, and, with unfading strength,
Inspires the soul, remains for ever lost.
The sacred sympathy of social hearts:
Benevolence, supreme delight of heav'n;
Th' extensive wish, which in one wide embrace,
All beings circles, when the swelling soul
Partakes the joys of God; ne'er warms their breasts.
As yet my soul ne'er felt the oppressive weight
Of indigence unaided; swift redress,
Beyond the daring flight of hope, approach'd,
And ev'ry wish of nature amply blest.

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Tho', o'er the future series of my fate,
Ill omens seem to brood, and stars malign
To blend their baleful fire: oft, while the sun
Darts boundless glory thro' th' expanse of heav'n,
A gloom of congregated vapours rise,
Than night more dreadful in her blackest shroud,
And o'er the face of things incumbent hang,
Portending tempest; till the source of day
Again asserts the empire of the sky,
And, o'er the blotted scene of nature, throws
A keener splendor. So, perhaps, that care,
Thro' all creation felt, but most by man,
Which hears with kind regard the tender sigh
Of modest want, may dissipate my fears,
And bid my hours a happier flight assume.
Perhaps, enliv'ning hope! perhaps my soul
May drink at wisdom's fountain, and allay
Her unextinguish'd ardor in the stream:
Wisdom, the constant magnet, where each wish,
Set by the hand of nature, ever points,
Restless and faithful, as th' attractive force
By which all bodies to the centre tend.
What then! because th' indulgent Sire of all
Has, in the plan of things, prescrib'd my sphere;
Because consummate Wisdom thought not fit,
In affluence and pomp, to bid me shine;
Shall I regret my destiny, and curse
That state, by heav'n's paternal care, design'd
To train me up for scenes, with which compar'd,

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These ages, measur'd by the orbs of heav'n,
In blank annihilation fade away?
For scenes, where, finish'd by the almighty art,
Beauty and order open to the sight
In vivid glory; where the faintest rays
Out-flash the splendour of our mid-day sun?
Say, shall the Source of all, who first assign'd
To each constituent of this wond'rous frame
Its proper powers, its place and action due,
With due degrees of weakness, whence results
Concord ineffable; shall he reverse,
Or disconcert the universal scheme,
The gen'ral good, to flatter selfish pride
And blind desire?—Before th' Almighty voice
From non-existence call'd me into life,
What claim had I to being? what to shine
In this high rank of creatures, form'd to climb
The steep ascent of virtue, unrelax'd,
Till infinite perfection crown their toil?
Who, conscious of their origin divine,
Eternal order, beauty, truth, and good,
Perceive, like their great Parent, and admire.
Hush! then, my heart, with pious cares suppress
This timid pride and impotence of soul:
Learn now, why all those multitudes, which crowd
This spacious theatre, and gaze on heav'n,
Invincibly averse to meet their fate,
Avoid each danger: know this sacred truth;
All-perfect Wisdom, on each living soul,
Engrav'd this mandate, “to preserve their frame,

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And hold entire the gen'ral orb of being.”
Then, with becoming rev'rence let each pow'r,
In deep attention, hear the voice of God;
That awful voice, which, speaking to the soul,
Commands its resignation to his law!
For this, has heav'n to virtue's glorious stage
Call'd me, and plac'd the garland in my view,
The wreath of conquest; basely to desert
The part assign'd me, and, with dastard fear,
From present pain, the cause of future bliss,
To shrink into the bosom of the grave?
How, then, is gratitude's vast debt repaid?
Where all the tender offices of love
Due to fraternal man, in which the heart,
Each blessing it communicates, enjoys?
How then shall I obey the first, great law
Of nature's Legislator, deep imprest
With double sanction; restless fear of death,
And fondness still to breathe this vital air?
Nor is th' injunction hard: who would not sink
A while in tears and sorrow; then emerge
With tenfold lustre; triumph o'er his pain;
And, with unfading glory, shine in heav'n?
Come then, my little guardian Genius! cloath'd
In that familiar form; my Phylax, come!
Let me caress thee, hug thee to my heart,
Which beats with joy of life preserv'd by thee.
Had not thy interposing fondness staid

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My blind precipitation, now, ev'n now,
My soul, by nature's sharpest pangs expell'd,
Had left this frame; had pass'd the dreadful bound,
Which life from death divides; divides this scene
From vast eternity, whose deep'ning shades,
Impervious to the sharpest mortal sight,
Elude our keenest search.—But still I err.
Howe'er thy grateful, undesigning heart,
In ills foreseen, with promptitude might aid;
Yet this, beyond thy utmost reach of thought,
Not ev'n remotely distant could'st thou view.
Secure thy steps the fragile board could press,
Nor feel the least alarm where I had sunk:
Nor could'd thou judge the awful depth below,
Which, from its watry bottom, to receive
My fall, tremendous yawn'd. Thy utmost skill,
Thy deepest penetration here had stopt,
Short of its aim; and, in the strong embrace
Of ruin struggling, left me to expire.
No—heav'n's high Sov'reign, provident of all,
Thy passive organs moving, taught thee first
To check my heedless course; and hence I live.
Eternal Providence! whose equal sway
Weighs each event; whose ever-waking care,
Connecting high with low, minute with great,
Attunes the wond'rous whole, and bids each part
In one unbroken harmony conspire:
Hail! sacred Source of happiness and life!
Substantial Good, bright intellectual Sun!

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To whom my soul, by sympathy innate,
Unweary'd tends; and finds, in thee alone,
Security, enjoyment, and repose.
By thee, O God! by thy paternal arm,
Thro' ev'ry period of my infant state,
Sustain'd I live to yield thee praises due.
O! could my lays, with heav'nly raptures warm,
High as thy throne, re-echo to the songs
Of angels; thence, O! could my pray'r obtain
One beam of inspiration, to inflame
And animate my numbers; heav'n's full choir,
In loftier strains, th' inspiring God might sing;
Yet not more ardent, more sincere, than mine.
But tho' my voice, beneath the seraph's note,
Must check its feeble accents, low deprest
By dull mortality; to thee, great Soul
Of heav'n and earth! to thee my hallow'd strain
Of gratitude and praise shall still ascend.