University of Virginia Library

A Wise Man Checks

Eventually you'll have to
go to the bathroom. Put it
off for as long as possible,
for McCormack Road's
charm really shines in these
jokes. You have a choice of
five toilets, which is
fortunate, because only one
or two are usable on any
given day. The good ones
switch around from day to
day, due to toilet paper
thieves and toilet lid
thieves, so a wise man
checks around a bit before
committing himself. There is
also no need to take reading
material to the toilet for the
first few days, as ample has
been supplied on the rear of
the stall door.

As for the urinals, use
the same procedure as for
the toilets. Somethings they
get clogged, but you usually
don't find out until your
feet are wet. For some
entertainment you can pull
back the flush handle on a
urinal very gently, and at
about halfway you will be
rewarded with a shaking
groan that can heard on all
three floors.

The sinks are not so bad.
They are numerous, so
finding a clean one is not
too difficult. The mirrors
are so adequate that when
using some of them it is
impossible to shave without
viewing the shower-room.

Hopefully you'll take a
shower that night. Again
use the same procedure, as
the showers differ in
temperature and force. This
is at times difficult, as there
are four showers for nearly
40 people. Usually at least
one of the showers is
bearable. For entertainment
in the shower, stop up the
drain in the corner and
watch the water rise. For
even more fun, pour a
bottle of concentrated
shampoo in the water. And
for the ambitious soul, one
of those nifty metal doors
can be removed and placed
in the shower room door
crosswise. This last trick is
recommended only for the
well to do, since the
rampaging water can cause
quite a mess, leading to
more bills from Housing.

Along with all the
unfortunate students living
with you, there is a variety
of insect life. Most
numerous of these is the
small cockroach. Watch out
for him as he can turn up
anywhere in your room.
Anywhere.