'Twixt Kiss and Lip or Under the Sword. By the author of "Women Must Weep," [i.e. F. W. O. Ward] Third edition | ||
790
TO A PURIST
Never go to foreign climes,
Where wild flowers and gentry
Always make their entry,
Naked, at most awkward times
Never stop in sculptor's pale,
Lest a naughty statue,
Naked should look àt you—
If you don't possess a veil
Never, when you go to bed,
Light a prying candle,
Lest some scurvy scandal
On your naked frame be shed.
Where wild flowers and gentry
Always make their entry,
Naked, at most awkward times
Never stop in sculptor's pale,
Lest a naughty statue,
Naked should look àt you—
If you don't possess a veil
Never, when you go to bed,
Light a prying candle,
Lest some scurvy scandal
On your naked frame be shed.
Never, for domestic cats,
Take the Toms as mousers,
While you put in trousers
Table legs and pegs for hats;
Never look at Highland braves
Who have not our riches,
And march without breeches,
And kick out disgusting calves
Never heed barefooted boys,
Though their tears be recent,
Who are so indecent,
And delight in naked joys.
Take the Toms as mousers,
While you put in trousers
Table legs and pegs for hats;
Never look at Highland braves
Who have not our riches,
And march without breeches,
And kick out disgusting calves
Never heed barefooted boys,
Though their tears be recent,
Who are so indecent,
And delight in naked joys.
Never note a pretty face,
Stick to kit and curate,
And be most obdúrate,
To uncovered ball-room grace;
Never glance at undressed arms,
Rot with prudes and spinsters,
Ancient men and ministers,
Who can boast of sober charms;
Never go abroad at night
Lest the dainty garter
Of some Traviata,
Shock your unprotected sight.
Stick to kit and curate,
And be most obdúrate,
To uncovered ball-room grace;
Never glance at undressed arms,
Rot with prudes and spinsters,
Ancient men and ministers,
Who can boast of sober charms;
Never go abroad at night
Lest the dainty garter
Of some Traviata,
Shock your unprotected sight.
Never call a spade a spade,
Bathe not in the water
Nude posterior quarter,
Shut the daylight out with shade;
Never in a volume look,
Lest the name of sinner,
(Harlot) spoil your dinner,
Though it be the Blessed Book;
Never own one manly creed,
Be a mere old woman,
Everything but human,
Still be proper and be d---d.
Bathe not in the water
Nude posterior quarter,
Shut the daylight out with shade;
Never in a volume look,
Lest the name of sinner,
(Harlot) spoil your dinner,
Though it be the Blessed Book;
Never own one manly creed,
Be a mere old woman,
Everything but human,
Still be proper and be d---d.
'Twixt Kiss and Lip or Under the Sword. By the author of "Women Must Weep," [i.e. F. W. O. Ward] Third edition | ||