1. CHAP. I.
PROCEEDING four or five miles,
they breakfasted; and afterwards, going
on a mile or two further, they came
to a church where a number of people
were convened, to hear the decision of an
ecclesiastical consistory, met there on an
affair which came before them. It was
this: Two men appeared, the one of a
grave aspect, with a black coat; the other
without the same clerical colour of garb;
but with papers in his pocket which announced
his authority to preach, and officiatate
as a clergyman. The man with
the black coat, averred, that coming over
together, in a vessel from Ireland, they
had been messmates; and while he was
asleep one night, being drowsy after prayers,
the other had stolen his credentials
from his pocket. The man in possession
of the papers, averred they were his own,
and that the other had taken his coat, and
by advantage of the cloth, thought to pass
for what he was not.
The consistory found it difficult, without
the aid of inspiration, to decide; and that
faculty having now ceased, there were no
other means, that they could see, to bring
the truth to light.
The Captain being informed of this perplexity,
could not avoid stepping up, and
addressing them as follows: Gentlemen,
said he, there is a text in your own Scripture,
which, I think, might enable you to
decide: It is this, “by their fruits you shall
know them.” Let the two men preach;
and the best sermon take the purse; or laying
aside the figure, let him that expounds
the scripture best, be adjudged the clergyman.
The proposition seemed reasonable, and
was adopted; the competitors being desired
to withdraw a little, and conn over their
notes, that they might be ready to deliver
a discourse respectively.
The Captain observing the countenance
of him in possession of the papers, was sensible,
from his paleness, and dejection of aspect,
that he was the impostor. Going out
therefore shortly after, and falling in with
him, as he walked in a melancholy mood,
at a little distance from the church, said he
to him, I perceive how it is, that the other
is the preacher; nevertheless I would wish
to assist you, and as I have been the means
of bringing you into this predicament, I
should be disposed to bring you out.—Let
me know how the case really stands.
The other candidly acknowledged that
having been a yarn-merchant in Ireland,
his capital had failed, and he had thought
proper to embark for this country; and
coming over with this clergyman, he had
purloined his papers; and would have taken
his coat, had it not been too little for
him; a thing which never struck the ecclesiastical
tribunal. But the matter being
now reduced to an actual experiment of talents,
he was at a loss; for he had never
preached a sermon in his life. It was true,
he had heard sermons and lectures in abundance;
and had he been suffered to go
on and preach at his leisure amongst the
country people first, he might have done
well enough; but to make his first essay
in the presence of a learned body of the
clergy, would hazard a detection; but
now he saw his oversight in not having taken
the notes of the other, at the same
time he took the vouchers of his mission.
The Captain encouraged him, by observing,
that there were few bodies, ecclesiastical
or civil, in which there were more than
one or two men of sense; that the majority
of this consistory, might be as easily
humbugged, as the lay people; that a good
deal would depend on the text that he took;
some were easily preached upon; others
more difficult. An historical passage about
Nimrod, or Nebuchadnezzar, or Sihon,
king of the Amorites, or Og, king of
Bashan; out of Genesis, or Deuteronomy,
or the book of Judges, or Kings, would
do very well; but that he should avoid
carefully the book of Job, and the Psalms
of David, and the Proverbs of Solomon;
these requiring a considerable theological
knowledge; or, at least, moral discussion
and reflection. Keep a good heart, said
he, and attempt the matter. The issue
may be better than you apprehend.
With this, taking him a little further to
the one side, where his horse was tied, he
took out a bottle from his saddle-bags, with
a little whisky in it, which Teague had put
there, and gave him a dram. This had a
good effect, and raised his spirits, and he
seemed now ready to enter the lists with
his antagonist.
The other, in the mean time, had gone
in, and was ready, when called upon, to
hold forth. The man with the papers returning,
with the Captain not far behind,
took his seat. The board signified, that
one or other might ascend the pulpit. The
credential man, wishing to gain time, to
think farther what he was about to say,
but affecting politeness, yielded precedence
to the other, and desired him to
preach first. Accordingly stepping up, he
took his text and began.
