University of Virginia Library

The Curtain rises, discovering the Act Drop.
Enter Public Opinion.
Pub. O.
Who am I? One to whose supreme dominion
E'en monarchs sometimes bow—Public Opinion!
Therefore, I'm—what I well may boast aloud of—
Your own Opinion—which, of course, you're proud of;
Every one thinks his own opinion best;
I'm everyone's, so never mind the rest.
At once, then, to the business before us.
On this occasion I enact the Chorus.
There's not an urchin, in this learned age,
But knows that on the old Hellenic stage
The Chorus told the audience all the plot,
Whether there was one in the play, or not.
And explained what, with common observation,
They'd understand without an explanation.
But in these days of progress, I admit,
Dramas there are might puzzle folks a bit.
Plots which are twisted with such sleight of hand,
They're things “which no fellah can understand,”
As Lord Dundreary says. Our simple bard
Won't give you nuts to crack so very hard;
But as the piece imported is from France,
Morality demands my surveillance.
So let the wife who would her spouse aggrieve,
Beware! And let the husband who'd deceive
His better half, tremble! Don't move, sir, pray—
I'm speaking of the people in the play,
Not those who come to see it. Heaven forbid
I should do so—and help me if I did!
(bell rings)
But there's the bell that bids the curtain rise,
(curtain rises)
And shew a Grecian landscape to your eyes.