News from both Universities Containing I. Mr. Cobb's Tripos Speech at Cambridge, with a Complete key inserted. II. The Brawny Priest: Or, the Captivity of the Nose. A Poem |
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 | News from both Universities |  |
'Twas well, when our Forefathers did agree,
That the grave Doctors should sit there and see
Their Follies banter'd by a Knave like me.
And wisely manag'd to begin their Lent
With one who swears he'll make you all repent;
Who ne'ertheless intends not to displease ye,
He'll mortify, but make the Pennance easy.
He'll touch the Wound with a most cautious Art,
And for a Cure he'll play the Surgeon's part,
With Lady's Hand, but with a Lion's Heart.
Nor shall I think my Labour lost about ye,
If I perceive you mend, tho' I much doubt ye.
Nor need you fear that I shall e'er disclose
The Secrets that are whisper'd inter Nos.
For we all know it breaks a General Rule
Of Decency, to tell Tales out of School.
Tho' some well-meaning Men report the Jeer
Will prove malicious, barbarous, severe.
Sure you don't think me born of Tygers Race.
Is ought so frightful in this harmless Face?
Tho' still if I prove partial, I'm mistaken,
I'll take you as you are, of your own making,
Nor shall one Iohnian Doctor save his Bacon.
A thing inseparable from Derision,
As Accidents of Logical Inhesion.
So much for Prologue. And upon occasion
I hope you'll say there's no Man in the Nation,
Was e'er so tender of your Reputation.
How will it please me, when you cry, That's he
Who gently purg'd the University,
And softly did reprove the sensless Doctors
In the Reign of Jack Cooper and Awbery the Proctors.
That the grave Doctors should sit there and see
Their Follies banter'd by a Knave like me.
And wisely manag'd to begin their Lent
With one who swears he'll make you all repent;
2
He'll mortify, but make the Pennance easy.
He'll touch the Wound with a most cautious Art,
And for a Cure he'll play the Surgeon's part,
With Lady's Hand, but with a Lion's Heart.
Nor shall I think my Labour lost about ye,
If I perceive you mend, tho' I much doubt ye.
Nor need you fear that I shall e'er disclose
The Secrets that are whisper'd inter Nos.
For we all know it breaks a General Rule
Of Decency, to tell Tales out of School.
Tho' some well-meaning Men report the Jeer
Will prove malicious, barbarous, severe.
Sure you don't think me born of Tygers Race.
Is ought so frightful in this harmless Face?
Tho' still if I prove partial, I'm mistaken,
I'll take you as you are, of your own making,
Nor shall one Iohnian Doctor save his Bacon.
A thing inseparable from Derision,
As Accidents of Logical Inhesion.
So much for Prologue. And upon occasion
I hope you'll say there's no Man in the Nation,
Was e'er so tender of your Reputation.
How will it please me, when you cry, That's he
Who gently purg'd the University,
3
In the Reign of Jack Cooper and Awbery the Proctors.
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