Philomythie or Philomythologie wherein Outlandish Birds, Beasts, and Fishes, are taught to speake true English plainely. By Tho: Scot ... The second edition much inlarged |
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SARCASMOS MVNDO:
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SARCASMOS MVNDO:
OR, The Frontispice explaned.
How apt is Man to erre? Antiquitie
Thinks it sees right, and yet sees all awry.
Our sight is impotent, the helpe we haue
By Art-full spectacles, doth much depraue
The truth of obiects; And tradition saith
Bookes vse to lye, And Bookes deny her faith.
Ecclipses of the Sunne were wonders thought,
Till sage Milesius the cause out-sought.
And man had not the wit to make a doubt
Of halfe the world, till fortune found it out.
But what this Age hath seene, makes that seeme truth
The laughing wiseman wrote, which made the youth
Shed teares to reade it; that more worlds remaine
Still vndiscouer'd then are yet made plaine.
Deepe diuing Paracelsus findes the ground
With minerals and mettals to abound;
More proper for our humors then the weedes,
Hearbs, plants, & flowers, which spring from weaker seeds.
This earth we liue on and do stedfast call,
Copernicus proues giddy-brainde, and all
Those other bodies whose swift motions we
So wonder at, he setled finds to be.
Till sanctifi'd Ignatius and his brood
Found out the lawfull way of shedding blood,
And prou'd it plainly that a subiect might
Murther his Prince we fondly vsde t'indite
Such persons of high treason: Now before them
We kneele, we pray, we worship and adore them.
For with their merits now w'are more acquainted
And know for zealous Patriots they are saincted.
His power that doth it, till of late we doubted
But now who questions it to death are flouted.
Then let what I propound no wonder seeme,
Though doting age new truthes do dis-esteeme,
For time may make it plaine, and reason too
May beare it out, though sure with much adoe.
Causes foregoe effects by course of kinde,
Yet first th'effect and then the cause we finde.
And so much I do here, propound the thing,
But stronger reason after-times may bring.
Attend my Doctrine then. I say this Earth
On which we tread, from whence we take our birth,
Is not, as some haue thought proportion'd round,
And Globe-like with such zones, and girdles bound,
As Poets or (more lyers) Trauellers say,
But shap'd awry, and lookes another way.
It is a monstrous Creature like a Man,
Thrust altogether on a heape, we can
Distinguish no part, goggle eyes, wide mouth,
Eares that reach both the poles from north to south,
Crump-shouldred, breast, & back, & thighs together,
The legs and feet all one, if it hath either.
In breefe it is the greatest Master Deuill
Throwne downe from heauen, in whose wombe euery euill
Is radically fixt, and from thence springs
Infusing natiue euill, in all such things
As it doth breed and nourish. The place of Hell
Is in his wombe, there lesser deuils dwell.
And when he stirres a limme, or breaketh winde,
We call't an earth-quake, and the danger finde.
Kings, Emperours, and mighty men that tread
In highest state, are lyce vpon his head.
The Pope and all his traine are skipping fleas
That know no bounds, but leape lands-law and seas,
The rest are nits or body-lyce, that craule
Out of his sweat, such vermin are we all.
From heauen this monster fell, and now doth lye
Bruzde with the fall, past all recouery.
Neither aliue, nor dead, nor whole, nor sound,
Sinking, and swimming, in a sea profound
Of sinne, and punishment, of paine, and terror,
Of learned ignorance, and knowing error.
No wonder then, that we who liue and dye
On cursed earth, do all things thus awry,
Being monstrous in our manners, and our minds,
And mixing in the lust-full change of kinds.
That we are full of passions, doubts, and feares,
And daily fall together by the eares.
No wonder that the Clergie would be Kings,
Kings Church-men; Lords and Ladies equall things;
So like in painting, spotting, starching, all,
That Ladies Lords, and Lords we Madams call.
For euen as Hares change shape and sex, some say
Once euery yeare; these whores do euery day,
So that Hirquittall and his wife were waken
By Succubus and Incubus, mistaken.
No wonder that Diuines the Parasites play
In ieast and earnest; Actors euery way.
No wonder that some theeues doe Lawyers proue,
Since all these euils by course of nature moue,
So farre; that it is question'd 'mongst the wise
Which now is vertue, and which now is vice.
Thinks it sees right, and yet sees all awry.
Our sight is impotent, the helpe we haue
By Art-full spectacles, doth much depraue
The truth of obiects; And tradition saith
Bookes vse to lye, And Bookes deny her faith.
Ecclipses of the Sunne were wonders thought,
Till sage Milesius the cause out-sought.
And man had not the wit to make a doubt
Of halfe the world, till fortune found it out.
But what this Age hath seene, makes that seeme truth
The laughing wiseman wrote, which made the youth
Shed teares to reade it; that more worlds remaine
Still vndiscouer'd then are yet made plaine.
Deepe diuing Paracelsus findes the ground
With minerals and mettals to abound;
More proper for our humors then the weedes,
Hearbs, plants, & flowers, which spring from weaker seeds.
This earth we liue on and do stedfast call,
Copernicus proues giddy-brainde, and all
So wonder at, he setled finds to be.
Till sanctifi'd Ignatius and his brood
Found out the lawfull way of shedding blood,
And prou'd it plainly that a subiect might
Murther his Prince we fondly vsde t'indite
Such persons of high treason: Now before them
We kneele, we pray, we worship and adore them.
For with their merits now w'are more acquainted
And know for zealous Patriots they are saincted.
His power that doth it, till of late we doubted
But now who questions it to death are flouted.
Then let what I propound no wonder seeme,
Though doting age new truthes do dis-esteeme,
For time may make it plaine, and reason too
May beare it out, though sure with much adoe.
Causes foregoe effects by course of kinde,
Yet first th'effect and then the cause we finde.
And so much I do here, propound the thing,
But stronger reason after-times may bring.
Attend my Doctrine then. I say this Earth
On which we tread, from whence we take our birth,
Is not, as some haue thought proportion'd round,
And Globe-like with such zones, and girdles bound,
As Poets or (more lyers) Trauellers say,
But shap'd awry, and lookes another way.
It is a monstrous Creature like a Man,
Thrust altogether on a heape, we can
Distinguish no part, goggle eyes, wide mouth,
Eares that reach both the poles from north to south,
Crump-shouldred, breast, & back, & thighs together,
The legs and feet all one, if it hath either.
Throwne downe from heauen, in whose wombe euery euill
Is radically fixt, and from thence springs
Infusing natiue euill, in all such things
As it doth breed and nourish. The place of Hell
Is in his wombe, there lesser deuils dwell.
And when he stirres a limme, or breaketh winde,
We call't an earth-quake, and the danger finde.
Kings, Emperours, and mighty men that tread
In highest state, are lyce vpon his head.
The Pope and all his traine are skipping fleas
That know no bounds, but leape lands-law and seas,
The rest are nits or body-lyce, that craule
Out of his sweat, such vermin are we all.
From heauen this monster fell, and now doth lye
Bruzde with the fall, past all recouery.
Neither aliue, nor dead, nor whole, nor sound,
Sinking, and swimming, in a sea profound
Of sinne, and punishment, of paine, and terror,
Of learned ignorance, and knowing error.
No wonder then, that we who liue and dye
On cursed earth, do all things thus awry,
Being monstrous in our manners, and our minds,
And mixing in the lust-full change of kinds.
That we are full of passions, doubts, and feares,
And daily fall together by the eares.
No wonder that the Clergie would be Kings,
Kings Church-men; Lords and Ladies equall things;
So like in painting, spotting, starching, all,
That Ladies Lords, and Lords we Madams call.
For euen as Hares change shape and sex, some say
Once euery yeare; these whores do euery day,
By Succubus and Incubus, mistaken.
No wonder that Diuines the Parasites play
In ieast and earnest; Actors euery way.
No wonder that some theeues doe Lawyers proue,
Since all these euils by course of nature moue,
So farre; that it is question'd 'mongst the wise
Which now is vertue, and which now is vice.
Two Crookbacks (not the third Dick Gloster, hight,
We will haue none of him, for he would fight)
Debate this question, each assumes his part.
Æsope for vertue stands, and all his art,
Is to instruct the world to leaue the sinne,
And folly, which it lyes incompast in;
Weeps to behold it circled so with vices,
Whose serpentine and poysond sting, intices
To fading pleasure, and to deadly paine,
By vse soone caught, but hardly left againe.
He wries his necke at earth; but 'tis to see
How out of order euery part will bee.
He wills each Reader if my tales be darke,
To iudge the best, the morall still to marke.
And where they finde a doubtfull meaning, there
To hold an eu'n course, and with compasse stere.
But where strict rigor might inforce a doubt,
T'incline to fauour, and to helpe me out.
On th'other side doth learned Tortus stand
Concomitant, and beares the world in hand
That Æsope and some Stigmaticks beside,
(In shape and wit) did call well-fauour'd Pride
A vice, because themselues were so deform'd,
At euery pleasure they with malice storm'd;
But wiser much, he doth with better face,
With equall wit, worth, knowledge (but lesse grace)
Confront such fond assertions, lookes awry
On all the world of vertue, giues the lye
To iudgement, and with crooked minde and backe
(Thirsites-like) vnloades this learned packe.
We will haue none of him, for he would fight)
Debate this question, each assumes his part.
Æsope for vertue stands, and all his art,
Is to instruct the world to leaue the sinne,
And folly, which it lyes incompast in;
Weeps to behold it circled so with vices,
Whose serpentine and poysond sting, intices
To fading pleasure, and to deadly paine,
By vse soone caught, but hardly left againe.
He wries his necke at earth; but 'tis to see
How out of order euery part will bee.
He wills each Reader if my tales be darke,
To iudge the best, the morall still to marke.
And where they finde a doubtfull meaning, there
To hold an eu'n course, and with compasse stere.
But where strict rigor might inforce a doubt,
T'incline to fauour, and to helpe me out.
On th'other side doth learned Tortus stand
Concomitant, and beares the world in hand
That Æsope and some Stigmaticks beside,
(In shape and wit) did call well-fauour'd Pride
A vice, because themselues were so deform'd,
At euery pleasure they with malice storm'd;
With equall wit, worth, knowledge (but lesse grace)
Confront such fond assertions, lookes awry
On all the world of vertue, giues the lye
To iudgement, and with crooked minde and backe
(Thirsites-like) vnloades this learned packe.
He teacheth first that Æsope was a slaue,
“But Man's free borne, and freedome ought to haue,
“To worke his owne good pleasure, fayre content;
“Who liues not thus, hath his whole life mis-spent.
This rule he followes, and laies violent hands
On all; that his pride, lust, and will, with-stands.
Calls his affection reason; his desire
And appetite, sets all his world on fire.
His childe, his wife, his neighbour, or his friend,
Is for his pleasure lou'd; without that end
No King, no great Lord, can forget so soone,
And slight desert; as he hath often done.
Bastards are true legitimates, he saith:
And enemies then friends, haue far more faith.
His neighbors are most strangers, and before
A modest wife, he likes a shamelesse whore.
For many whores (he saith) he often kept
Without disturbance; but one night, hauing slept
In twenty yeares with his true wife, th'assault
Of many Sumners did correct the fault.
“But Man's free borne, and freedome ought to haue,
“To worke his owne good pleasure, fayre content;
“Who liues not thus, hath his whole life mis-spent.
This rule he followes, and laies violent hands
On all; that his pride, lust, and will, with-stands.
Calls his affection reason; his desire
And appetite, sets all his world on fire.
His childe, his wife, his neighbour, or his friend,
Is for his pleasure lou'd; without that end
No King, no great Lord, can forget so soone,
And slight desert; as he hath often done.
Bastards are true legitimates, he saith:
And enemies then friends, haue far more faith.
His neighbors are most strangers, and before
A modest wife, he likes a shamelesse whore.
For many whores (he saith) he often kept
Without disturbance; but one night, hauing slept
In twenty yeares with his true wife, th'assault
Of many Sumners did correct the fault.
What we terme cowardice, he doth valure call,
And in that valure he exceedeth all.
An oyster-wife once beat him; brauely hee
Bore all her blowes, but wanted heart to flee.
He will on Sundaies with an Abbot dine,
On Frydaies, with a brother Libertine.
And euery day drinke health's vp to the eye:
He treads not right vnlesse he treads awry.
The Maa of sinne himselfe, is not more free
In doing all forbidden sinnes then hee.
For what he speakes or teacheth, writes or reads,
Only speaks pleasure, and to pleasure leads.
Had Nero's froward Tutor (too precise)
Been like our Philosarchus, pleasure wise,
And pliant to all humors but the good,
He had with surfets dyd'e, not lacke of blood.
Learn'd Aretine he reads, and can expound
His modest pictures with a touch profound.
That part is his of euery tongue, and arte,
Which stricter Idiots tremble at, and starte
To heare recited. This, this man is hee
Who on the forefront you with Æsope see.
Æsope that lookes awry on all mens vice;
But this on vertue casteth scornefull eyes.
Æsope makes birds, beasts, fishes, speake and liue
As if their liues should Man example giue
To practise vertue. This (with apt beheasts)
Doth teach all men how to become like beasts.
And saith, whose life these creatures most resemble
Comes neerest truth, and so doth least dissemble.
That Nature is the best guide, if we please
To follow her, then we must follow these.
For these obserue her rules, and are not spoyl'd
By arte, nor haue their able organs foyl'd
With abstinence and lacke of vse, but still
Directed are by appetite and will.
In Kings he would no other vertue see
Then what in Lyons, and in Eagles bee:
To prey on all, to make their will a law,
To tyrannize, to rule by force and awe,
To feare no higher powers, to do no good,
But liue to glut themselues with guiltlesse blood.
Courtiers he would haue fashion'd like to apes,
So fond their gestures, so deformde their shapes:
So full of idle imitation found,
That scorne in them, our stages might confound.
That they should starch & paint white, red, blew, yellow
And then all blacke, that other fooles might follow.
Diuines of Owles he would haue learne to shrieke,
As if they hated all the world did like;
But hauing got a tree and Iuy bush,
He then would haue them mute, and dumbe, and hush,
To serue all purposes, to hate the light,
And prooue right Blackbirds, children of the night.
Men that want wit, yet haue great place in State,
He would haue like to Parrots, learne to prate
Of others, till with Almonds they were fed.
The rest like Foxes he would still haue bred
Close, craftie, indirect, to get by stealth
The goods both of the Church and Common-wealth.
All subiects and inferiors he would haue
Themselues like Geese, and Asses to behaue.
Rich men and Usurers to swallow all
Directed by the Dolphine, and the Whale.
All men like Dogs to flatter, and to bite,
And misinterpret what we speake or write.
He wills all those that on my payers looke,
To make each line a libell in my booke:
To poyson with their eyes whats'ere they see,
And make themselues sport, and make worke for me.
Not to beleeue the morall, but to seeke
Another meaning whatsoe're they like,
And call it mine; and sweare I meant the same,
Although I would not persons plainly name.
And then he wils them laugh to seeke the ieast.
“Anothers mischiefe, makes a merry feast.
And in that valure he exceedeth all.
An oyster-wife once beat him; brauely hee
Bore all her blowes, but wanted heart to flee.
He will on Sundaies with an Abbot dine,
On Frydaies, with a brother Libertine.
He treads not right vnlesse he treads awry.
The Maa of sinne himselfe, is not more free
In doing all forbidden sinnes then hee.
For what he speakes or teacheth, writes or reads,
Only speaks pleasure, and to pleasure leads.
Had Nero's froward Tutor (too precise)
Been like our Philosarchus, pleasure wise,
And pliant to all humors but the good,
He had with surfets dyd'e, not lacke of blood.
Learn'd Aretine he reads, and can expound
His modest pictures with a touch profound.
That part is his of euery tongue, and arte,
Which stricter Idiots tremble at, and starte
To heare recited. This, this man is hee
Who on the forefront you with Æsope see.
Æsope that lookes awry on all mens vice;
But this on vertue casteth scornefull eyes.
Æsope makes birds, beasts, fishes, speake and liue
As if their liues should Man example giue
To practise vertue. This (with apt beheasts)
Doth teach all men how to become like beasts.
And saith, whose life these creatures most resemble
Comes neerest truth, and so doth least dissemble.
That Nature is the best guide, if we please
To follow her, then we must follow these.
For these obserue her rules, and are not spoyl'd
By arte, nor haue their able organs foyl'd
With abstinence and lacke of vse, but still
Directed are by appetite and will.
In Kings he would no other vertue see
Then what in Lyons, and in Eagles bee:
To tyrannize, to rule by force and awe,
To feare no higher powers, to do no good,
But liue to glut themselues with guiltlesse blood.
Courtiers he would haue fashion'd like to apes,
So fond their gestures, so deformde their shapes:
So full of idle imitation found,
That scorne in them, our stages might confound.
That they should starch & paint white, red, blew, yellow
And then all blacke, that other fooles might follow.
Diuines of Owles he would haue learne to shrieke,
As if they hated all the world did like;
But hauing got a tree and Iuy bush,
He then would haue them mute, and dumbe, and hush,
To serue all purposes, to hate the light,
And prooue right Blackbirds, children of the night.
Men that want wit, yet haue great place in State,
He would haue like to Parrots, learne to prate
Of others, till with Almonds they were fed.
The rest like Foxes he would still haue bred
Close, craftie, indirect, to get by stealth
The goods both of the Church and Common-wealth.
All subiects and inferiors he would haue
Themselues like Geese, and Asses to behaue.
Rich men and Usurers to swallow all
Directed by the Dolphine, and the Whale.
All men like Dogs to flatter, and to bite,
And misinterpret what we speake or write.
He wills all those that on my payers looke,
To make each line a libell in my booke:
To poyson with their eyes whats'ere they see,
And make themselues sport, and make worke for me.
Another meaning whatsoe're they like,
And call it mine; and sweare I meant the same,
Although I would not persons plainly name.
And then he wils them laugh to seeke the ieast.
“Anothers mischiefe, makes a merry feast.
This Doctor is our Ages guide and Tutor,
The world his Schoole, the flesh his Coadiutor.
No wonder then if we liue all awry,
When on our Master we cast steady eye.
For Alexanders necke can teach vs this,
“The Schoole and Court by greatnes fashion'd is.
Thus our great Masters crookednesse is spide
In vs his followers, who no good parts hide
That he hath learn'd vs, but proclaime aloud
The cause which makes our vertuous Tutor proud.
If any seeke his name, and list to come
To schoole, enquire for Murus & Antrum.
The world his Schoole, the flesh his Coadiutor.
No wonder then if we liue all awry,
When on our Master we cast steady eye.
For Alexanders necke can teach vs this,
“The Schoole and Court by greatnes fashion'd is.
Thus our great Masters crookednesse is spide
In vs his followers, who no good parts hide
That he hath learn'd vs, but proclaime aloud
The cause which makes our vertuous Tutor proud.
If any seeke his name, and list to come
To schoole, enquire for Murus & Antrum.
| Philomythie or Philomythologie | |