 | [The Vnluckie Firmentie] |  |
3. The thirde parte.
How Beede ye wold haue brought his wife a Ladle full of Furmentie to her bed, myste the waye to his chamber, and how hee kist an olde wiues taile in stede of his wife. And how he bestowed The Potage where he had kist.
But
to make you vnderstande
The thynge that I haue in hande
In playne and perfecte sorte,
I must by waye of degression
Th{e}n make to you expression
{W}herof dyd sprynge the sporte.
The thynge that I haue in hande
In playne and perfecte sorte,
I must by waye of degression
Th{e}n make to you expression
{W}herof dyd sprynge the sporte.
This yonge man that so late
Was exalted to the estate
Of moste honorable Maryage,
Dyd kepe his weddynge resydence
In the house of his Parentes
A thinge not rare in vsage.
Was exalted to the estate
Of moste honorable Maryage,
Dyd kepe his weddynge resydence
In the house of his Parentes
A thinge not rare in vsage.
The olde Father of the house
With his wyfe and honest Spouse
Thoughe she were somwhat olde
Had their lodgynge neere bye
Where Beede and his wife dyd lie
As me myne Auctor tolde.
With his wyfe and honest Spouse
Thoughe she were somwhat olde
Had their lodgynge neere bye
Where Beede and his wife dyd lie
As me myne Auctor tolde.
Whose chambre doore open stoode
Unluckyly that nyght by the Roode
As thynges fell after oute
Which I intende to disclose
As I no lesse dyd purpose
When I went here aboute.
Unluckyly that nyght by the Roode
As thynges fell after oute
Which I intende to disclose
As I no lesse dyd purpose
When I went here aboute.
Thoughe Fortune had ben such a Frende
That Beede obtayned in the ende
His longed for reqest,
Yet nowe on hym she gan to frowne
And turnde hys lucke quyte vpsydowne
Before she let hym rest.
That Beede obtayned in the ende
His longed for reqest,
Yet nowe on hym she gan to frowne
And turnde hys lucke quyte vpsydowne
Before she let hym rest.
For when he was well satisfied
His angre then was mollyfyed
He was no longer wrothe.
But lyke a louynge and kynde harte
Wylshed that his Wyfe had part
Of that so deyntie broth.
His angre then was mollyfyed
He was no longer wrothe.
But lyke a louynge and kynde harte
Wylshed that his Wyfe had part
Of that so deyntie broth.
Wherfore a Ladle full he hent
And with them towarde his wyfe went
When he him selfe was sped
Intendynge to haue pleased her
Because he had diseased her
With tumblynge in his bed.
And with them towarde his wyfe went
When he him selfe was sped
Intendynge to haue pleased her
Because he had diseased her
With tumblynge in his bed.
But were it throughe to muche hast
Or whether that he were agast
With ought he sawe abrode,
I knowe not nether doth it skyll
But well I wotte, he sped but ill
In caryage of his lode.
Or whether that he were agast
With ought he sawe abrode,
I knowe not nether doth it skyll
But well I wotte, he sped but ill
In caryage of his lode.
For as he lyke a Foxe wylye
Passed towarde his wife slylye
With the Ladle in his fyst.
He myssynge his owne chumbre,
Into the olde folkes Parler
He slipt before he wist.
Passed towarde his wife slylye
With the Ladle in his fyst.
He myssynge his owne chumbre,
Into the olde folkes Parler
He slipt before he wist.
Yet weenynge that he had ben ryght
He went as warely as he myght
And styll that waye dyd kepe,
And forthwith in the same stounde
The aged couples bed he founde
Where both lay fost a sleepe.
He went as warely as he myght
And styll that waye dyd kepe,
And forthwith in the same stounde
The aged couples bed he founde
Where both lay fost a sleepe.
And albe it there was no lyght
The Ladle yet he kepte vpryght
And not a drop was spylde,
The olde wife laye with her backe
To hym warde, whose Bum for lacke
Of clothes dyd lye vnhylde.
The Ladle yet he kepte vpryght
And not a drop was spylde,
The olde wife laye with her backe
To hym warde, whose Bum for lacke
Of clothes dyd lye vnhylde.
Nowe Beede which dyd thynke he had
Ben at his owne bed syde, for glad
Dyd laye his lothsome lyppes
Full kyndly to the bare place
Supposynge that hys wyues face
Which was the good wyues hyppes.
Ben at his owne bed syde, for glad
Dyd laye his lothsome lyppes
Full kyndly to the bare place
Supposynge that hys wyues face
Which was the good wyues hyppes.
Here is wife some Furmentie
(Quoth he) because so louyngly
Thou toldst me where they stoode,
I never wist that any meate
Made of a lytell mylke and wheate
Coulde haue ben halfe so good.
(Quoth he) because so louyngly
Thou toldst me where they stoode,
I never wist that any meate
Made of a lytell mylke and wheate
Coulde haue ben halfe so good.
Tast of them here as thou lyest
Puffe (quoth she) and lanchte a fyste
The wynde somwhat heddye,
Thou art vnwise (quoth he) to blowe
Syppe afewe and thou sholt knowe
They be cold enoughe alredy.
Puffe (quoth she) and lanchte a fyste
The wynde somwhat heddye,
Thou art vnwise (quoth he) to blowe
Syppe afewe and thou sholt knowe
They be cold enoughe alredy.
With that there blewe so great a gale
That wolde haue made ones stomake quayle
It came with such a heate
Wyse (quoth he) by my fayth
Me thynkes thou haste a sowre breath
After thy Brydale meate.
That wolde haue made ones stomake quayle
It came with such a heate
Wyse (quoth he) by my fayth
Me thynkes thou haste a sowre breath
After thy Brydale meate.
And as he these wordes spake
It semed that her tacklynges brake
Wherwith atempest rose
For then the Thunderclaps dyd mutther
Rap, rap, one after another
Assendynge into his nose.
It semed that her tacklynges brake
Wherwith atempest rose
For then the Thunderclaps dyd mutther
Rap, rap, one after another
Assendynge into his nose.
He waxed therwith very angry
As I coulde not blame hym greatly
Beynge in suche a case,
By Coxe lylly woundes he swore
If thou blowe in them once more
I will caste them in thy face.
As I coulde not blame hym greatly
Beynge in suche a case,
By Coxe lylly woundes he swore
If thou blowe in them once more
I will caste them in thy face.
With that there came a sore cracke
Inoughe to haue made a shypwracke
Then Beede the Ladle tooke,
To dasshe then he dyd not spare
The Potage on her Buttockes bare
Wherwith the wyfe awooke.
Inoughe to haue made a shypwracke
Then Beede the Ladle tooke,
To dasshe then he dyd not spare
The Potage on her Buttockes bare
Wherwith the wyfe awooke.
And when she felt her buttockes wete
Her tayle cleauynge to the sheete
Out and alas (quoth she)
Her husbande awooke therwith anon
In the name of God and saynt Iohn
What ayleth thee wyfe quoth he?
Her tayle cleauynge to the sheete
Out and alas (quoth she)
Her husbande awooke therwith anon
In the name of God and saynt Iohn
What ayleth thee wyfe quoth he?
I am ashamde syr to tell it
I haue taken such a surfet
That I haue playde the chylde
I praye you therfore hertyly
That you wyll take it paciently
For I am all befylde.
I haue taken such a surfet
That I haue playde the chylde
I praye you therfore hertyly
That you wyll take it paciently
For I am all befylde.
The good man gropynge to her huckles
Was by and by vp to the knuckles,
Then he began to rayle
Hast thou ben at the potage pot
So ofte (quoth he) that thou canst not
More better rule thy tayle.
Was by and by vp to the knuckles,
Then he began to rayle
Hast thou ben at the potage pot
So ofte (quoth he) that thou canst not
More better rule thy tayle.
It chaunced not therby (quoth she)
Wylt thou tell me that (quoth he)?
For Scrypture mention makes,
That it was throughe none other meate
For here ynoughe doth lye of Wheat
To make a couple of Cakes.
Wylt thou tell me that (quoth he)?
For Scrypture mention makes,
That it was throughe none other meate
For here ynoughe doth lye of Wheat
To make a couple of Cakes.
Couldst thou not from thy bed crepe,
I was quoth shee so fast a slepe
I knewe not of the dede,
When Beede dyd this debatynge heare
As one that had a flea in hys eare
A waye he went with spede.
I was quoth shee so fast a slepe
I knewe not of the dede,
When Beede dyd this debatynge heare
As one that had a flea in hys eare
A waye he went with spede.
| [The Vnluckie Firmentie] | |