 | Mother Goose for Grown-Ups |  |
3
THE ADMIRABLE ASSERTIVENESS OF JILTED JACK
A noble and a generous mind
Was Jack's;
Folks knew he would not talk behind
Their backs:
But when some maiden fresh and young,
At Jack a bit of banter flung,
She soon discovered that his tongue
Was sharp as any ax.
Was Jack's;
Folks knew he would not talk behind
Their backs:
But when some maiden fresh and young,
At Jack a bit of banter flung,
She soon discovered that his tongue
Was sharp as any ax.
A flirt of most engaging wiles
Was Jill;
On Jack she lavished all her smiles,
Until
Her slave (and he was not the first)
Of lovesick swains became the worst,
His glance a strong box might have burst,
His sighs were fit to kill.
Was Jill;
On Jack she lavished all her smiles,
Until
4
Of lovesick swains became the worst,
His glance a strong box might have burst,
His sighs were fit to kill.
One April morning, clear and fair,
When both
Of staying home and idling there
In sloth
Were weary, Jack remarked to Jill:
“Oh, what's the sense in sitting still?
Let's mount the slope of yonder hill.”
And she was nothing loth.
When both
Of staying home and idling there
In sloth
Were weary, Jack remarked to Jill:
“Oh, what's the sense in sitting still?
Let's mount the slope of yonder hill.”
And she was nothing loth.
But as she answered: “What's the use?”
The gruff
Young swain replied: “Oh, there's excuse
Enough.
Your doting parents water lack;
We'll fill a pail and bring it back.”
(The reader will perceive that Jack
Was putting up a bluff.)
The gruff
Young swain replied: “Oh, there's excuse
Enough.
Your doting parents water lack;
We'll fill a pail and bring it back.”
(The reader will perceive that Jack
Was putting up a bluff.)
5
Thus hand in hand the tempting hill
They scaled,
And Jack proposed a kiss to Jill,
And failed!
One backward start, one step too bold,
And down the hill the couple rolled,
Resembling, if the truth were told,
A luggage train derailed.
They scaled,
And Jack proposed a kiss to Jill,
And failed!
One backward start, one step too bold,
And down the hill the couple rolled,
Resembling, if the truth were told,
A luggage train derailed.
With eyes ablaze with anger, she
Exclaimed:
“Well, who'd have thought! You'd ought to be
Ashamed!
You quite forget yourself, it's plain,
So I'll forget you, too. Insane
Young man, I'll say oafweederzane.”
(Her German might be blamed.)
Exclaimed:
“Well, who'd have thought! You'd ought to be
Ashamed!
You quite forget yourself, it's plain,
So I'll forget you, too. Insane
Young man, I'll say oafweederzane.”
(Her German might be blamed.)
But Jack, whose linguist's pride was pricked,
To shine,
Asked: “Meine königin will nicht
Be mine?”
And when she answered: “Nein” in spleen,
He cried: “Then in the soup tureen
You'll stay. You're not the only queen
Discarded for a nein!”
To shine,
Asked: “Meine königin will nicht
Be mine?”
6
He cried: “Then in the soup tureen
You'll stay. You're not the only queen
Discarded for a nein!”
The moral's made for maidens young
And small:
If you would in a foreign tongue
Enthrall,
Lead off undaunted in a Swede
Or Spanish speech, and you'll succeed,
But they who in a German lead
No favor win at all.
And small:
If you would in a foreign tongue
Enthrall,
Lead off undaunted in a Swede
Or Spanish speech, and you'll succeed,
But they who in a German lead
No favor win at all.
| Mother Goose for Grown-Ups | |