A Nights Search :: :: University of Virginia Library

A Crue assembled (where I know not well)
(They came as from, or travelling towards hell)
Who should be first and chiefe of all the rout,
Was then the point, they did contend about.

Whore.
The whore speaks first, her argument doth tend
To prove her calling lawfull; and the end
Will make it good: 'tis honest downright dealing
To use my taile, to keep my hands from stealing.
I trade in love, the price I never make;
What men doe give, that I may freely take.
I do maintaine you all, your sweetned gaines
Sprung from the blood which runs along my veines:
What custome ere comes in, is brought by me;
Why should not I be first, and chieflly free
Of this assembly? crums to feed a mouse
Would not be found, nor brooms to sweep the house,
Were't not for me: pray give me then my due,
Speak what you think, what ere I say is true.

Pimp.
Be not so confident: although my place
Be to attend: 'tis that sets a grace
Vpon you all, I walk along the street
So spruce, and boldly, powder'd very sweet,
Cocking my beaver, looking bigg withall,
The gallants that I meet give me the wall.
When any come I give'em such content,
(That they are won) with some fine complement.
My comely presence brings in many a guest,
Besides acquaintance, who above the rest
Are beneficiall; this is no mistake;
What ere they spend' is chiefly for my sake.
Why should not I then be preferr'd as chiefe,
Se'ing by my meanes comes in the most reliefe?

Pan.
Thou prating coxcombe! what dost think that
Am underling to thee? we'l quickly try
Which is most usefull; I am put in trust
With all their secrets: reason saith I must
Be overseer still, I keep the dore,
And let them in, and out, and which is more,

I sure the wenches to their owne complexions,
If I but speak, they all take my directions.
My wit dos often gaine a double fee,
I stay at home, to make an asse of thee.
I'm not so fine in deed, but more I thrive,
Where thou dost get a testar, I get five.
The custome soone would faile, if I go hence,
Why should not I have the preheminence?

Bawd.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I laugh to heare these fooles; they dominere;
Alas! they know their gaines, and being here
Depends upon my love; they make their boast
Of this, and that; 'tis I that rules the rost.
The house is mine, the furniture I bought;
But yet I see much like a thing of nought
They value me; they might have beg'd ere this;
I took them in, least they should doe amisse.
Although the whore be handsome, she had never
Been thus preferr'd, had I not us'd endeavour
To clothe and set her out, nor had she been
But like a novice in this veniall sin.

The Pimp was very poore, till I did raise him,
And for his comely parts, 'las, who did praise him
Till I had trim'd him? now he's growne so proud,
He'd faine be master; but he's not allow'd.
Priority the pander is as bad:
He would usurpe the place he never had;
He has the vailes belonging to his place,
Which puffes him up, I see his ends are base;
He'd set himselfe aloft; and then he'd raigne,
Much like a Demi-god, and all my traine
Must follow his advise; but soft and faire:
His words being spoke were soone dissolv'd to ayre,
I spent my time to learne (when I was yong)

This way of living; having us'd it long.
Age made me weak, and then I entertain'd
Those that did love that way, and still I gain'd
Experience in't: you cannot but agree
That I am chiefe: yo'are servants all to me.

Prodigall.
Here's much adoe, and yet but little wit
Amongst you all; I can no longer sit,
To heare your simple prating: I am he
That every one of you would seeme to be.
Words only make a sound; but 'tis my gold
That claimes priority, and takes fast hold
Vpon the chiefest place; yo'uld quickly make
Your wants break forth, should I the house forsake.
I pay the whore, and give the Pimp his fee;
I give the pander coyne, the bawd may see
Her comings in, comes only from my hand;
You have nor money, house, nor food, nor land
To succour you; nor any way to thrive,
But with my purse; I keep you all alive:
I send in meat, and divers sorts of wine,
I sold my lands for you: this cost of mine,
Ioyn'd with my love, the highest place may crave,
It is my right, and all I'm like to have.
Be wise, and silent, put me still before,
Your hopes depend on me; I'le say no more.

Thiefe.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Me thinks I see, as once at Sutors-hill
A silly gull; who having had his will
To break o're hedges; being took at last,
I robb'd him of his gold, and bound him fast.
Although he made his moane, away went I
To free my selfe, but there I let him lye.

This brainlesse asse, that now relates a story
Of what he has, and seemes to raise his glory

From what he has bestow'd upon a whore,
(The bawdy-house doth gaine, but he's made poore)
When all is spent, he hath no other way
To help himself, and yet (forsooth) he'll say
Precedency is his: he do's beguile
Himselfe with hopes: I cannot choose but smile.
The day, the place are mine; and he shall finde
That I must go before, he come behinde.
When I am out of cash, I scorn to borrow,
I have a trick to banish all my sorrow:
One happy night may blow me into stock,
Or with a Pistoll, or a stab, or knock,
I gaine a weighty Purse: or, if that misse,
I have another way as good as this:
I'le cheat, and steale, and rob a house by night;
And having got my prey, I take my flight.
I have a share from all that rob about,
I way-lay some, and others finde them out.

This foole that sold his land, will nere beleeve
How much I got upon one Christmas eve
At Hide-parke-corner, or at Bagshot Downes
Another time, among the countrey-clownes.
I cannot want, unlesse that crooked tree
Dos choake my hopes, and prove a foe to me.
What can the whore, the pander, pimpe, or bawd
Do of themselves? or he that does applaud
His crazie humour? onely in the spring
He'll chirp about, and like a Cuckow sing;
But moult away in winter: when my time
And fortunes usher me into my prime.
I must relieve them all: Iudge, who is best?
Shall I not be preferr'd above the rest?
The case is plaine; those that have eares and sight,
Will know I challenge nothing but my right.

As for the pleaders, all their braines are weake:
I am content to let the Vmpire speak.