University of Virginia Library

Bathtub War

Once again, the CD has
succeeded in creating an issue
where none has existed before. The
"Great Bathtub War" has begun,
and the battle lines are being
drawn. Soon, a resolution will be
passed in the Student Council to
allow dorm residents to have as
many bathtubs as they want.
Needless to say, dorm residents
(bribed, in the grand old Hearstian
tradition, by the CD in order to
promote the war?) will rush out to
scour the junkyards and lumber
companies of the burg in search of
the ten-dollar wonders.

The Housing Office will react
violently and a period of intensive
negotiation will ensue, resulting
(Voila!) in an agreement restoring
the status quo antebellum. Net
result-nobody won, nobody lost,
and a hell of a lot of effort was
expended for nothing.

Has it ever occurred to you, Mr.
Main, to reconsider some of your
absurd actions, and to the CD to
reconsider your absurd reactions to
Mr. Main's absurdities? Maybe if
both of you (and some of the other
scholars around this place) began
thinking once in a while, something
important might get done.