University of Virginia Library

Colloquium

The Liquifactionists

The following statement from the
Liquifactionists is made in response to the
campaign statements of the other political
parties printed in Monday's issue.

We have been waiting for The Cavalier
Daily, true to its Journalistic Bloodhoundism
of the past, to ferret out
information about the Liquifactionists and
report it duly to the police. Now too many
days have passed while we see only casual
reference to our party. Not only were party
statements requested from the other people
running (Skull and Sceptre and Keys, and
the VPP) but numerous colloquiums concerning
these people have adorned your
pages almost every day.

So, at this point, enter the Liquifactionists.
Yesterday, in the Thursday issue of The
Cavalier Daily we were amazed to see that
we were misquoted, ignored, called a joke,
and generally stroked in a counterclockwise
motion. Mr. Rosen's article was especially
foopy, (sic) for at the same time admitting
he had been responsible for a campaign
based on serio-comic lines he said, "well,
now its different, now the people really
have a choice and should vote VPP.
(paraphrased)" Unfortunately, this is not so.
It is still a choice between power-hungry
people. That is, excluding the Liquifactionists.
But what does any particular
candidate from anywhere else stand for?
Just add up all the things stood for by the
other candidates and divide by the number
of people you have suffered through.

We support The Referendum. They have
offered lip-and-tongue service to referendums
(more than likely spelled p-o-l-l-s), but
the student who has not felt a bit of
skepticism about their words undoubtedly
has had, if not a pre-frontal lobotomy, then
a serious dosage of friendly brainwashing.
The choice falls to simple statement: do you
want to be ruled, or do you wish to rule?

One point we would definitely like to
bring up: the disappearance of our posters.
We put up about sixty yesterday morning,
and now there are absolutely none left up.
While we appreciate the complaint, we
cannot possibly gain the momentum we need
unless a poster in a crucial spot can stay up
for more than twenty minutes. We implore
you, o students of the University, do not
tear down our posters until after the
election! Even if you are an Anti-Liquifacitonist
(called either a Solidifactionist or a
Gasificationist, depending whether to the
right or left) at least let democracy dispose
of us in a fair and reasonable manner.
Vandalism can serve no good purpose ....