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Mirth and Metre

consisting of Poems, Serious, Humorous, and Satirical; Songs, Sonnets, Ballads & Bagatelles. Written by C. Dibdin, Jun
 
 

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MONOPOLY.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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78

MONOPOLY.
[_]

(Music published by Clementi and Co. Cheapside.)

Monopoly's long been the rub,
And from it less harm would ensue,
If those who monopoliz'd grub,
Would monopolize appetites too;
But may those who, for lucre of gold,
The poor of their morsel would cheat,
Be punished, like Midas of old,
With nothing but guineas to eat!
Tol, lol, &c.
The Turks they monopolize wives,
And, by some wicked folks it is said,
That's the reason why Turks, all their lives,
Wear each a half moon on his head;
And we know, tho' each married man here
Finds one wife enough for his share,
And beef's so confoundedly dear,
There's cattle enough at Horn Fair.
Yet candour might surely excuse,
Of monopolists some sorry elves,
For doctors would be of great use
If they'd take all their physic themselves;

79

Of lawyers, why much one can't say,
Their practice I wouldn't condemn,
But some people think, by the way,
Old Nick will monopolize them.
Monopoly thrives every way;
The assertion will stand by the test,
For truth always carries the day,
And we all know the naked truth's best:
That's the reason our ladies, forsooth,
Captivate both the bashful and bluff,
For they're surely the semblance of truth;
And, ecod, they go naked enough.
May the rich ease the poor of their cares!
'Twould the sweetest monopoly bring;
They'd gain all their hearts and their pray'rs,
Like his honour our father, the king!
May Britons each other befriend,
For unity's England's best hope;
And may ev'ry monopolist's end
Be join'd to the end of a rope!