University of Virginia Library

Turnip Center

With Godwin's permission,
7th District Congressman J.
Kenneth Robinson beamed
that the President would be
helicoptered to Goochland
County to dedicate a federally
funded turnip development
center, an event during which
Godwin's name would surely
arise. A Mississippi yam grower
queried what could be done
now by outsiders to influence
the Virginia electoral process.
Deftly fielding the question
himself, Godwin announced
that fictitious campaign
committees had already been
formed.

Gavelling the question
period to an abrupt close, the
candidate tossed his hat into
the crowd, declaring that
contributions of as little as
$5,000 would be accepted.

With this we retrieved one
last bruised egg from the
parkay floor and rushed
toward the nearest exit. In our
hasty retreat, we caught but a
fleeting glimpse of a squinting
Dick Obenshain groping on all
fours toward a crushed pair of
eyeglasses.