University of Virginia Library

Scœn. 2.

Menander
, Hypponax, Laelio, Evphorbvs, Hyarchvs.
Go fetch a Garland from the Muses-groue
For I will sit amongst the Sheep-heard Swaines
Vpon some pretty tuft or pleasant hill
Hung (in my honour) with fresh hallowed baies,
And eccho forth an Alphabet of layes:
My Queene, poore Queene, bereft of beauties pride
Shall in our fancy sit and touch our side.

Hy.
Grieue not, she was my daughter (gratious King)

Me.
Gratious, and King, be words not knowne to mee;
I am no King, nor will be gratious
But an impartiall Poet of this age
Who must inueigh at Kings and Kingly grace:
I must a multitude of woes rehearse
And stab my audience with I-ambicke verse:
Raile at the peeuish humour of a slaue
Whose rude examples be notorious.
Attend my whole narration (royall Dukes)
Remember how I did the Forrest rule,
How I amongst the troupe of Elephants,
Foxes, and Tygers, Apes, and Leopards,
Was, by appointment of my fathers will
Left as an heire legitimate, to liue
And re-establish my true parents bloud:
Remember and imagine I did rule
Like an audacious Lyon of the lawnes,
Who by mis-fortune haue caught a pricke
Which doth distemper his presuming paw
Meetes with a heart-lesse Pilgrime, doth salute
His coward fancy with a peale of feares
Then doth submit (some ceremonies done)
His royall stoutnesse to the trembling man
Puts forth his pained member, shewes the wound
Till the distracted traueller con-ceiues
A remedy to succour that which grieues:
The Lyon thus allur'd with seeming loue
Protects the Pilgrime by his noble force
Doth not for-sake him, fawnes vpon the wretch
Whose poore compulsiue cowardise did vrge
That tributar alleageance (not his loue)
Least life should answere what his will deny'd:
Thus did they liue till the most faithlesse man
Grew so familiar hee was not afear'd
To shake the sleeping Lyon by the beard:
Thus hee pretended still to be aboue
So slew the Lyon for his Kingly loue.
And thus, ô thus! did my Pheudippe deale:
For from the dust and dunghill did I raise
The needy fortunes of that naked man
Without all merit, saue hypocrisy
Which was my thanke for all his dignity:
The Gods and you beare witnesse (noble friends)
I took that fellow for the truest man
That woman e're was bless'd with; did beleeue
His birth and education both Deuine,
Who was indeed a deuill; for whose death
My brainelesse fury did blaspheme the Gods:
O if I had election to for-sake
The substance of my soules eternity,
If soule and body did together die
If deaths corruption could corrupt the soule,
(So make it vanish, and auoide controule,)
No speedy torment should escape, no death
Be vn-attempted, till my life and breath
Were as my soule is now, inuisible:
O I would climbe Acro-seraunian rockes,
Run to the top of Ætna, or the Alpes
And rush downe head-long like a desperate slaue;
Or like an Aiax, greedy of reuenge,
I would in-counter Woules, and Vnicornes,
Tempting the sauage worthies to assaile
My carelesse life, and so in-counter mee.

Ev.
But sir, the soule of man is pretious,
Made of immortall essence, cannot die.

Me.
So, I'me oppress'd with immortality,
And though my rotten Carkasse soone decay
Yet must my soule account for blasphemy:
For Blasphemy, which I in zealous loue
To a false lewd impostor did augment
With sharpe invectiues eeu'n to vex the Gods.

Hip.
Your loue to that dissembler was extreme
And all extremes beget extremities.

Me.
To that dissembler, to that deuil, say;
To that Magitian, true-borne Impe of hell,
Speake thus; and let mee thanke your eloquence;
For had hee beene produc'd of earthly race
His charmes and witch-craft could not so deceiue
My narrow apprehension, ô attend!
And I will make you weepe before I end.
Pheudippe like a frozen viper was
Whom, I (delighted with a formall shew)
By chance tooke vp, and warmth and life bestow'd
Vpon this piteous creature; till at length
Hee crept and crawl'd into my bosome; I
Did suffer still, through plaine simplicity,
The serpent to become familiar;
My table and my Trencher gaue him food,
Still did I suffer, still hee slept and fed
Vpon my trembling bosome; hee did kisse
And licke my tender veines, as I did his:
Still did I suffer, though my soundest friends
Bad mee beware of such a subtle Guest,
Giuing faire cautions to embrace the best;
Still did I suffer, and did scourge aduice,
With sharpe rebukes, not valewing the price.
So long I sufferd, hee so long did sleepe,
So long hee lick'd mee, and so long time crept,
So long I lou'd him, hee so long time wept
With false affection, as hee did confirme
My not mis-doubting friend-ship, which was firme,
But after all my loue, and all his teares,
After my patience, and his creeping smiles,
My long, long sufferance, and his thankefull vowes;
After all these ô God, my bosome groanes
To thinke, that after all such boundlesse good
Hee wish'd to sucke vpon my royall bloud.

Evp.
The subtle wretch, in mischiefe, did reioyce,
And was corrupted by the peoples voyce.

Hya.
True, they corrupt, whom they still hope to please
The peoples physicke, doth enflame disease.

Men.
Foule vengeance choake the people, and their loue,
They doe deiect whom they aduance aboue:
The peoples suffrage, to a rising youth
Is like their folly at a publicke Stage,
Striuing to purchase a dumbe audience
By multitude of clamour; they suppose
Peace is engendred by still crying peâce,
As if confusion did by murmure cease:
So they imagine, by their open mouth,
To make a Gyant, though but scarce a man:
They speake him vertuous, bountifull, and wise
Hoping polluted breath, might Canonize
Whom they (with durty palmes) do seeme to raise,
And bind his Temples with their stinking baies:
No, they but make him dizzy, deafe, and mad,
Whom they desire to make a demi-god;
Their multitudes of clamour doe beget
A most vn-cured swimming of the head;
For so the rules of ringing do agree,
Confusion euer spoiles a harmony.
What Cox-combe now dares call Mænander mad?
Doe not (I pray) abuse mee (noble boyes)
Although I be a Poet; all men know
I neuer writ of Cupids whirligig,
Of amorous conceites, nor daliance,
And iust so long as Poets will abstaine
From foolish loue and Cupids Diety,
The Poets Art is counted Piety.
But if the tenor of a loue-sicke Theame
Stuffe rotten Volumnes then the Author's mad,
Or Moone-sicke, some iudicious booke-men, say,
Though others, amid' earnest, allow play.

Evp.
(Alas good King) what sudden ouer-throw
Distracts poore weakenesse by a little woe?

Me.
Who talks of woe? did you sweete passenger?
Open thy case if it bee parallel,
Let's liue co-partners in some vgly shade
Where none but melancholy night-rauens keepe
There let's complaine, but (breath being silent) weep.
Not farre from hence, low in a humble Caue,
My little cottage stands deuoide of care
Finely en-compass'd with a pleasant waue
Drest vp with Daisies, Cow-slips, Hyacinths
And many thousand pretty, pretty things
Which Nature lends me while the black-bird sings:
Foure Goats I haue which browze vpon the twigs,
Two did relinquish mê, for I had six,
One seem'd a Lambe which was indeed a Wolfe,
Him did my dog discouer, kill, and eate—

Ev.
Wee doe discouer all thy weakenesse King
To helpe is hard, to weepe an easy thing.

Me.
Dares then thy blistredtongue (audacious foole)
Forget all duty and disturbe a Duke?
(Impudent Asse) I do degrade thy eares
And thee, from all imployment; be an Asse
At large, and carry loaues, like Lucius
Deserue a Cudgell and a biting spurre,
Be dull and sluggish in extremities
Till I bestow a Rose or any thing
To make thy suddaine metamorphosis.

Ev.
It's made already (King) and I will kisse
Your dainty palme, then laugh, and Poetize
Cast of my robe and act old Lucius,
Or Messala Coruino; daunce I will,
And after sixty Summers will I doate
So, change my garment for a mimickes coate:

Om.
Age is become a yong in-amorate.

Me.
Laugh, laugh, infernall furies leape for ioy;
Make mee a flaming Chariot, I will ride
Vpon the wings of potent Lucifer,
And flie, like lightning, through th'amazed Orbe.
Thunder shall be my Page, and Æolus
Leade vp my Coach-horse to big Titans Hall,
Where in that faire Assembly of the Gods,
Glistering with golden robes Pontific all:
I must a volume of large thankes recite,
And a petition to dame Luna write:
All, for thy sweete acquaintance Messala
Whom I adore, and much will dignify
Those who pertake in rauish'd lunasy.

Ev.
So, then wee are companions (lusty ladde.)

Me.
Till daring Ioue dissolue the Vniuerse,
Till the last reuolution of this Orbe.

Ev.
Till Cittizens accounted ciuill knaues,
To cheating custome be no longer slaues.

Me.
Till sage authentickes of vn-spotted liues
Leaue baudy Panderisme to their willing wiues.

Ev.
Then, faith til Courtiers too, with satten sleeues
Renownce all begging and be arrant theeues.

Me.
Till Taylors like-wise made of shreds and shelues
Enrich the debtor to vn-doe themselues.

Evp.
Till the most gallant Ladies of the Court
Esteeme deuotion there abused sport.

Me.
Then 'faith till Players, Poets, (Ape and Asse)
Spend all they get from Iune to Michaelmas.

Evp.
So then for euer shall wee liue like friends,
Thou must forgiue though Messala offends.

Hip.
What can exceed these miracles of age,
Whose actions might againe reuiue the stage?
A Common councell must protect the State,
Till mad Mænander haue atton'd his fate:
Till Cinthia her punishment release
And giue Mænander leaue to rule in peace.