University of Virginia Library


67

VIII
A Garden of Life

Beata mea on the search for God
And QUÆSTOR DEI on the self-same quest,
In expectation bless'd and looking forth
Beyond their present measures, from the bonds
Of these, towards ends attain'd and fruit thereof:
Learn how it fared with both in waking ways,
After the dreams and visions of the night
Had open'd their new epoch in the life
Of sleep and dual drama of the soul.
She in sunlitten gardens of the house,
Among the peacocks and fantastic trees—
Uncouthly shaped—at the glad morning-tide,
Before the shining city—far below—
Had waken'd fully; he from mesh of streets
Emerging on the brimming river's side,
Between the bridges; ponder'd on the night
And that new gospel of the life of trance

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Which both had shared, though each to each unknown
In outward ways. One dream-experience
Therein, so also in the aftermath
One thought was kindled in the mind and one
Burnt in the heart of each—the when and where
Of earthly meeting. Somewhere in the world
She lived in flesh, somewhere he dwelt with men.
No common hunger after human love
Made quick that thought. They had not kiss'd in sleep,
Since deeper ways are open to the soul,
With soul in search of union. Mindful now
Of that which was, no longing in the hearts
Enter'd, but certitude of things to come
Left therewithin a hundred doubts unsolved
On what must follow meeting. Would their ways
Be cast henceforth together? Nay, not this—
Too preassured already. Would those twain
Grow one in waking life? And nay, not that:
No earthly life divides what sleep makes one
When soul in vision is deeply bound with soul.
But wheresoever such foreseen event
Should cross the threshold of their circumstance,
Would those great wells which they had sounded once
Unseal again? Would past and future fling
Gates open to the future and the past?

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Would they see farther back and yet more far
Before them in the Mystery of God?
They could not meet within the common bonds
Of strangers: that was certain. Yet perchance
The things within might cast on those without
Pale reflex only, from true life apart
And its unplumb'd reality. Perchance
It must be so, for on the side of sleep
Abode henceforth the very truth of truth,
The constant light of light; but here, like shades
Or aspens, flicker'd on the waking side
All painted images of things without.
At most on this the omens moved and shone,
But there the great moralities. So sign
And signified, in this the aftermath,
Stood parted clearly on confronting banks
Of being.
Better in his heart he knew
Than haply she that this was mood alone—
And fleeting. Presently the focus lost
Would find itself, the shifted balance turn,
Adjust and compensate. For both no less
The speculation issued and the doubt,
Bearing their saving clauses at the end,
Since—howsoever it might prove at first—
Not on one only side of life there dwells
Reality, and not on one the soul

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Attains. The gates would open here as there,
The deeps unseal; and late or soon the twain
Should know each other, as in sleep they knew—
At one, and thus for ever. Granted this
For utter certainty, and passing hence
Unchallenged, there remain'd on either side
A certain failing of the heart in face
Of such foregone encounter, for the how
Of its beginning, for grey common light
Which might encompass, those first banal words
Of greeting, that first obvious wonderment,
For all the limits of mere earthly eyes,
Slow growth in learning one another's ways,
Status, pursuits, diurnal interests.
What if at first those twain, so near in soul
And fill'd with mission when the inward world
Was lifting veils from off its infinite,
Should in the manifest body and life to each
Prove scarcely possible? What if meeting's doom
Came on them at a corner of the streets,
In hurry and drive of rain, draggled and drench'd?
His more than hers this special pictured dread;
But she had pictures. Setting those which bless'd
To cancel those which tortured, she lived down
The spaces of suspense, and he at last
Discharged all images and look'd towards sleep.

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But this fail'd both: an utter blank in dream
Had follow'd after that revealing night,
Till they remember'd that the leaves of life
In sleep turn'd slowly, discontinuous,
Though nought seem'd miss'd, while any will of theirs
For nothing counted.

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I have lived among the symbols
Of Thy great dramas long;
The pomp of Thy pontificals
About me moves in song.
Thine Art sends forth its tidings
In all the play-scenes round me;
Its grace uplifting Nature
To her World-Rites has bound me.
Give me High Grades for ever,
All parts in Thy masques to try,
More and yet more of Thy pageants,
Their meaning and mastery.