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Wits Bedlam, Where is had, Whipping-cheer, to cure the Mad

[by John Davies]
Davies, John (1565?-1618)

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[section]
  
To the Right noble Lord the Earle of Buckingham,
  
To the Printer.
  
Againe, of my Selfe.
  
It's a mad world my Maisters. And a merry world my Mistrisses.
  
Bitter zeale, is lesse than Loue.
  
A Caueat.
  
To Martiall.
  
The BOOKE to Grauitie.
  
The BOOKE to the Reader.
  
Againe.
  
Why Poets of the present times, be not so well esteem'd as those of former.
  
Of the worth of wittiest Workes, or Bookes.
  
Mercy with Iustice.
  
Those Lines which all, or none do vnderstand, Do neither with Wit, Art, nor Iudgment stand.
  
Of My selfe; and, this Bable, my Booke.
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[Epigrams.]
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EPITAPHS.
 1. 
On him that was said to be pull'd in peeces in playing the Beare.
 2. 
On an Hermaphrodite.
 3. 
On one Gwillim a common cryer of a Towne.
 4. 
On an Harlot call'd Meg-Mutton of Heref:
 5. 
Upon a noted common-lyer, Iack-ap Iack.
 6. 
On the Woman that was burnt in Smithfield for killing her Master, in her anger.
 7. 
Vpon one borne blinde.
  
Vpon Iohn of all Iohns.
 9. 
On one Wood a miser, burnt by a Queane.
 10. 
On one who built himselfe bankeroupt, to keepe the poore on worke.
 11. 
On one that yeelded his Weapons in priuat fight; the conceipt whereof after brake his heart.
 12. 
On one that a Queane made to Father her Bastard, begotten by his Man.
 13. 
Vpon one Church-euill a debosh'd base Whore-hunter, who dyed of the Pox.
 14. 
On a common Drunkard.
 15. 
On an English stutting-Booke-seller who learned French, to sell Bookes to French-men.
 16. 
On Tarlton.
 17. 
On a rare Dyer of Silke.
 18. 
On a selfe conceited Foole.
 19. 
On one who cheated his Father.
 20. 
Epi. 20.
 318. 
On Iohn A-Stile.
 22. 
On Rauiliack who murdered Henry the fourth French-King. 22.
 23. 
On George a Greene, Pinder of Wakefield. 23.
  
On little Iohn.
  
On Billy Grime.
  
On a Roring Boy calld Thing.
 27. 
Of one Baudyman, whose name and nature were one. 27.
 28. 
Of one R. Hand that died of the Poxe. 28.
 29. 
Upon a Youngster, who lay with a Maid, at the Labour in vaine. 29.
 30. 
On a man borne dumbe. 30.
 31. 
Uppon one Eleazer Death a good fellow Taylor. 31.
 32. 
Deaths Epitaph. 32.
 34. 
On one Forgot a Pitman. 34.
 35. 
On a short spare man, that wore alwayes an huge paire of Cloke-bag hose. 35.
 36. 
On Iohn an Oakes.
 37. 
One Ro: Gose a light-headed wanton.
 38. 
On a Sot that was held honest though such cannot bee so.
 39. 
On one N. Pot, a dunkard who was stabb'd in an Ale-house.
 40. 
On an idle prattler, nick-named Words.
 41. 
On one H. Quarrell.
 42. 
One one B. Holiday.
 45. 
Being desir'd to make an Epitaph on an ill-belou'd rich miserable yong-man whose name was Bright; and whose mothers name by her father, was Sparke; he writ.
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Foure sad Epitaphs.
 46. 
A Epitaph on the death of the most famous Bishop; both for good learning, and good liuing, Doctor Tomson-Bishop of Gloucester.
 47. 
On Master W. Woodcock, a vertuous discreete and rare Scholler.
 48. 
The Authors
 49. 
On a vertuous faire-maide Mistresse Eliza: Amber.
 51. 
On a Bankcrupt called Myte.
 51. 
On a wicked fellow called P. Godsoll.
 52. 
Of one Woorth that died Lowsie, hauing had a good lyuing; but spent it leawdly.
 53. 
On one Elizabeth Butter a faire maide.
 53. 
On one I. Cheese, an old Leatcher.
 56. 
On one P. Cocke, a rich foole, who gaue much money by wil, to make him a faire Tombe.
 56. 
On a common Drunkard call'd Man.
 57. 
On one call'd Iaques.
 58. 
On one Wit, whose mother died with his birth; a contentious fellow.
 59. 
On the Cripple, who stole the weather-cocke of Paules.
 60. 
On one called Holyday a great gamester kill'd playing at Primero.
 61. 
Vpon one Denis who slue one in a Tennis-court about the difference of a Chase.
 62. 
On one Gold, a great Dicer.
 63. 
On No-body, as he is fancied & set foorth in picture.
 64. 
On a double fellow, ill composed.
 65. 
On a skiruy fellow, enriched by a Queane.
  
On a Userer.
 66. 
On one Norman, an ill man. 66.
 67. 
On one Maister Linder, that was burnt by a Drab: and thereof dyed. 67.
 68. 
On a most intollerable curst Wife. 68.
 69. 
On one that lou'd Sacke as his Soule. 69.
 70. 
On a Pander. 70.
 71. 
On a common quarreller. 71.
 72. 
On one called Hinde, a miserable Vsurer. 72.
 73. 
Epitaph. 73.
 74. 
On a Bridewell-Beadle. 74.
 75. 
On a Man whose name was Mouse. 75.
 76. 
On one Nichols, that chang'd his Religion, many times. 76.
 77. 
On one Loue a Gold-finder alias a Iakes-Farmer. 77.
 78. 
On a tall Coward. 78.
 79. 
By one Shockman hang'd in chaines on a Hill. 79.
 80. 
On a, Bankeroupt that liu'd (till he died) long in Ludgate, oft begging in the Hole. 80.
  
To my Worthily much honored M. Richard Martin, learned in the Lawes, Arts, and Languages.
  
To my Noble and euer best beloued Pupill, Captaine Henry Maynwarring.
  
The conclusion.
  
On Banning.
  
An excuse for Faults escapt in Printing by reason my Occasions would not permit me to looke to the Presse.

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The Authors

Epitaph. 48.

Long after All was made, I, made, was marr'd
By Error of my Parents ere I err'd:
For, to the World I came through their offence,
Which made me sinfull, in mine Innocence.
I lou'd the Muses; and sought by them
Long life in this lifes shadow of a Dreame;
But, I am gon; and, my Remaines (I gesse)
Are but the Laboures of my Idlenesse
Which, liuing, die: so all thereby I got
Is Fame (perhaps) which (past perhaps) Is not;
At least Is not to me; sith dead I am:
And, haue no sence of Aire, Fames surer Name.
I lou'd Faire-writing; and, could Write as faire
As any that for That had got that Aire.
I taught it others; but my greatest Fee
Was fairest-fame the fowler shame for mee
In Mens accompt; who hold all Gettings vaine
That tend to Grace and Glory more than Gaine.
My Heart was Manly, in a double-sence,
Kind to my Friends and apt to giue offence
To my Offenders: so, Heart, Hand, and Head
Had precious Guifts, that did me little stead.
I found the World as Abel found it; sith
It harm'd me most that medl'd least therewith.
I found my Flesh my Houshold Foe; while I
The Diuell found my forraigne enemy:

So, Inwardly and Outwardly I found
My life still Millitant; till in this Ground
I lay intrench'd: where safe I lie from fight,
Equall to Cæsar in our present plight:
If oddes there be; herein it now doth rest,
I, being a Christian-man, must needs be best:
My soule is in his hand, that made me so;
His Glories Subiect still, in Weale, or Woe.
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