The Poetical Entertainer Or, Tales, Satyrs, Dialogues, And Intrigues, &c. Serious and Comical. All digested into such Verse as most agreeable to the several Subjects. To be publish'd as often as occasion shall offer [by Edward Ward] |
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The Justice and the Bawd.
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 | The Poetical Entertainer |  |
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The Justice and the Bawd.
Madam, you plainly find, quoth Justice Clod,
The Evidence can swear that you're a Bawd;
And, let me tell you, were I so hard-hearted
To bind you over, you'd be surely carted;
Don't be so rash to hazard the Disgrace,
E'en make it up, for 'tis an ugly Case;
Take my Advice, commute with them and pay,
'Twill prove the wisest and the cheapest way;
For if it comes before the Bench, depend on't,
A Whipping will be certainly the end on't.
The Evidence can swear that you're a Bawd;
And, let me tell you, were I so hard-hearted
To bind you over, you'd be surely carted;
Don't be so rash to hazard the Disgrace,
E'en make it up, for 'tis an ugly Case;
Take my Advice, commute with them and pay,
'Twill prove the wisest and the cheapest way;
For if it comes before the Bench, depend on't,
A Whipping will be certainly the end on't.
But pray, your Worship, hear me but a little,
Quoth Madam, these are Rogues that rob the Spittle
Degraded Pimps, vile mercenary Fellows,
Notorious Villains that would shame a Gallows,
And should their Oaths be taken in such Cases,
Thousands behind a Cart would make wry Faces,
Who wear brocaded Sattins, ride in Coaches,
And live in Pomp by managing Debauches;
Therefore I hope your Worship will excuse me
This time, and let them not too hardly use me;
For now the Lawyers are the Circuit gone,
And Rakes, in shoals, to Dunkirk daily run,
Trading's so bad I scarce can buy Strong-waters,
Or find Provisions for myself and Daughters.
Quoth Madam, these are Rogues that rob the Spittle
Degraded Pimps, vile mercenary Fellows,
Notorious Villains that would shame a Gallows,
And should their Oaths be taken in such Cases,
Thousands behind a Cart would make wry Faces,
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And live in Pomp by managing Debauches;
Therefore I hope your Worship will excuse me
This time, and let them not too hardly use me;
For now the Lawyers are the Circuit gone,
And Rakes, in shoals, to Dunkirk daily run,
Trading's so bad I scarce can buy Strong-waters,
Or find Provisions for myself and Daughters.
Quoth Justice Clod, I know the Times are hard,
Give 'em but half a Guinea to reward
Their trouble. Gentlemen, she keeps no common
Brothel, pray take it, she's a civil Woman,
And, for the future, 'less you find a Riot
Within her House, pray let her live in quiet.
Give 'em but half a Guinea to reward
Their trouble. Gentlemen, she keeps no common
Brothel, pray take it, she's a civil Woman,
And, for the future, 'less you find a Riot
Within her House, pray let her live in quiet.
Quoth Madam, there's your Money, Gentlemen,
Tho' I've not got so much the Lord knows when.
I thank your Worship for your tender Heart,
'Tis more your Goodness, Sir, than my Desert.
Tho' I've not got so much the Lord knows when.
I thank your Worship for your tender Heart,
'Tis more your Goodness, Sir, than my Desert.
| The Poetical Entertainer | |