Poems on several subjects

To the Reader, After reading the three Cantos of that POEM, the First whereof was composed by no less an Author than a Scottish Monarch; the other Two by-the famous Mr Allan Ramsay; I, out of conceit, attempted to finish, or rather ape that POEM. And considering that Canto First contains the Revels of the Bridal-day, and the Second the Bridal-night, together with the Bedding of the Bride, and the Third what past on the Morrow, or Infare-day, I have endeavoured to Kirk them, and so put away the costly names of Bridegroom and Bride, though not so beautiful as the former. The POEM but falls in a gradual digression, according to the Authors of it, as foresaid. If the World be pleased to reckon me a Third, I shall have my highest wish. A. N.

When Phœbus, wi' his gauden beams,
Bang'd in the light of day,
And glittering on the silder streams
That thro' the valleys stray,
The couthy carles, frae their dreams,
Began to rax, and say,
Up drousy herds; herds Phœbus blames
That made so short a stay
Away that day.

By that time bells for mass did clink
O'er a' the nation round;
Wives had tane out their Sunday's wink
That morning, lang and sound;
Wi' grains and raxing 'gan to blink
And vizzy a' things round,
Gat up, and gard the kettles chink;
For breakfast busy bound
Wi' speed that day.

Naething was seen twa days afore
At Christ's Kirk on the Green,
But revellings and battles sore,
And dancing hard and keen;

The carles did baith rant and roar,
And delt some knoits between-
Hands; lads their lasses did implore,
Greeting wi' baith their een
For love that day.

The bride was mild as ony lamb
Upo' that morning-tide;
And love the bridegroom did inflame;
His passions wadna' hide,
Then Steen, a man of courage, came
To kirk bridegroom and bride;
Lawrie, Andrew, Dick and Tam,
Came banging in at's side
Bedeen that day.

Then lads and lasses, mony ane,
Be that time was come in;
The eldren men sat down their lane
To wet their throats within:
They gat a cheese that weigh'd twa stane,
I wat it was na' thin;
The lads' bra' knives, hafted wi' bane,
Could hardly pierce the skin
Of it that day.

Quoth Dick, Gin I had here my axe,
(For I trow it would take it)
I would indent, at three good strakes,
My bladder I should break it.
Said Hutchon, If your knives inlakes,
My durk, let no man lack it,
Will soon supply; and, for your sakes,
Assunder I shall hack it
In sheeds this day.

Then all began to chew the cheese,
And drink about wi' speed;
Wi' mony grievous girn and squeese,
The auld folk shook their head,
And ban'd their teeth that wadna' bruise,
That they might faster feed.

Some bit their tongues, until their eyes
Sent out their springs, for greed,
Or haste that day.

Syne pauky Steen drank to the bride,
Come, lass, your hanson kelder;
For Roger fair confession made
Your ma't was i' the melder.
At last, her blushes wadna' hide;
The lasses speer'd what ail'd her;
She in a swarff fell cheek-aside;
Auld Mause she ran and held her
Upright that day.

Ha, quo' the wives, my liken, ken,
Or forty ouks be past,
'Twill kyth you ha' been ne'er the men,
And Venus' laws embrac'd.
I'll warrant we were a' right fain,
And ween'd ourselves fu' bless'd,
When we got houses of our ain;
The pleasures we possess'd
Were fine that day.

The bells a triple warning gae;
Fo'k to the kirk fast flocked;
The dowser sort began to say,
I trow we've o'er lang joked.
Come, drink and eat, and let's away;
Some were, thro' haste, ha'f choked;
Some clap'd their backs, cry'd well-a-day,
While unchew'd bites they bocked
Far aff that day.

Ilk man and wife, ilk lad and lass,
Well buckled i' their claes;
A jolly company there was,
When to their feet they raise:
Fu' handsomely to kirk they pass,
Well rank'd in their degrees;
To flee the fair nane was sae fa'se,
Sae fond were they to please
The bride that day.

The auld men, at their civil crack,
Went on afore the rest;
The bridegroom he came at their back;
The bride she followed fast;
The lads their lasses hands did ta'k,
Love's passion sae them press'd;
A bonny sight to see them wa'k
In gray and tartan dress'd,
All gay that day.

By dinner-time the mass was done;
They hameward high'd wi' speed;
Dick, scarce well set, cry'd for a spoon;
It was his end to feed.
Then on a board they set fu' soon,
Some barley-broth and bread;
And syne brought in, for their disjoon,
Auld Brucky's feet and head,
Well sung that day.

Though some wi' nevels had sare snouts,
A' byganes were neglected;
Fell fresh to birle, and drink like trouts,
Nae poortoth they suspected;
Ilk ane forga' their former routs,
New 'greements they erected;
Good ale and usque ga'd about,
In healths, as they respected
Their friends that day.

The sutor said, Here's to the health
Of thir new-married couple;
I wish them meikle joy and wealth,
Lang clever, strong, and souple.
Their pleasure now is without stealth;
The bridegroom winna' scruple
To tell his bosom-friend what ail'th
Him, though he tak' the ripple
On her some day.

Wives wi' the drink began to tattle
About the bridal-day,

How dancing turned to a battle,
How Jack began the fray;
How arrows flew, and clubs did rattle,
And some ha'f-fell'd there lay;
How Bessie bald came wi' a brattle,
Wi' her knife to geld or slay
Them fast that day.

Some said, Tam Taylor lay stane still
Till a' the fray was done;
To rin and redd he had na' will,
He thought it was o'er soon.
The minstrel fairly tint his skill,
For he fell through ilk tune;
Ran in atween twa wains, and full
He pish'd his ain twa shoon,
For fear that day.

The cow'rdly carles burnt for shame
To hear how they had acted;
The miller's wife ga' them the blame
Her husband was sae hacked.
Then spake up Dick, I fear, good dames,
Wi' drink your harns are cracked;
Men's characters, and they frae hame,
Some mare should be respected
By you this day.

Tam Luter said, Dick had the wyte,
By any in the town,
For fighting was na' his delight,
Till a' the lave were done.
Then Dick, wi' anger and despite,
Cry'd, Let me to the lown;
You piper dog, I say be quiet,
Or I shall tak' you down
Belyve this day.

Whisht, quoth the miller, what's a' this?
Are cowards begun to flyte?
A bonny story, troth, it is,
To see your girning spite:

To blast and brawl ye canna' miss,
And kens not wha's 'o wyte;
But, gin ye winna' be at peace,
Ye's get a bane to bite
Upon some day.

Come, quo' the smith, Let's drink about,
The bride's health maun gae round;
The bridegroom's niest, there is na' doubt,
Maun u'most ay be found.
Quoth a', the smith is unko stout,
And his purse hingers bound;
But, ere we part, we's ripe it out,
And gar him pay fu' sound
For's cracks this day.

Bridegroom and bride are costly names;
When married fo'k's ance kirked,
They need na' mare be fash'd wi' them;
The smith wants to be jirked.
Come, let us here a court proclaim,
And fine him as he's worked;
With that he thought black burning shame,
And down his head he lurked
Fu' low that day.

Had up your head, auld Hutchon cry'd,
You silly simple sot;
What? like a coward, your manhood hide
Sae for a poor gray groat.
Your wife sae bald, and fu' of pride,
She wears the breeks, I wot;
She'll soundly buff you back and side;
I wish she spare your throat
Uncut this day.

When a' was done, young Roger he
Cry'd, Fill me up a gill;
To my frank neighbours heartsomelie
I'll drink wi' hail good will:
The smith and his thrawn wife maun 'gree,
Tho' they scald ne'er sae ill;

Bairns unborn 'bout them and me
Will crack when at the ale,
And laugh some day.

University of Virginia Library

CHRIST's KIRK on the GREEN.

CANTO IV.