University of Virginia Library

EDGAR'S WIFE.

I know that Edgar's kind and good,
And I know my home is fine,
If I only could live in it, mother,
And only could make it mine.
You need not look at me and smile,
In such a strange, sad way;
I am not out of my head at all,
And I know just what I say.
I know that Edgar freely gives
Whate'er he thinks will please;
But it 's what we love that brings us good,
And my heart is not in these.
Oh, I wish I could stand where the maples
Drop their shadows, cool and dim;
Or lie in the sweet red clover,
Where I walked, but not with him!
Nay, you need not mind me, mother,
I love him—or at the worst,
I try to shut the past from my heart;
But you know he was not the first!
And I strive to make him feel my life
Is his, and here, as I ought;
But he never can come into the world
That I live in, in my thought.
For whether I wake, or whether I sleep,
It is always just the same;
I am far away to the time that was,
Or the time that never came.
Sometimes I walk in the paradise,
That, alas! was not to be;
Sometimes I sit the whole night long
A child on my father's knee;
And when my sweet sad fancies fun
Unheeded as they list,
They go and search about to find
The things my life has missed.
Aye! this love is a tyrant always,
And whether for evil or good,
Neither comes nor goes for our bidding,—
But I 've done the best I could.
And Edgar 's a worthy man I know,
And I know my house is fine;
But I never shall live in it, mother,
And I never shall make it mine!