 | XXXI. Ekkoes from Kentucky |  |
31. XXXI.
The Amnesty Proclamation. — A Cabinet Consultation
over it. — The Safety of the President
from Impeachment.
(Wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
September 10, 1867.
I WUZ brot to Washinton by a despatch. His
Eggslency hed at last determined to put his
foot down — to assert his power, and to take measures
sich ez wood bring to the top, where they
properly belong, that large class uv the citizens uv
the Republic who wuz engaged in the little onpleasantnis,
wich the Ablishnists took advantage uv to
deprive em uv their rites, and to keep em from
exercisin the inflooence in the government they are,
and alluz wuz, entitled to. In short, ez Congress
wuz adjourned, and coodent, by no means, be got
together till November, the President wuz convinced
that it wuz his dooty to improve his time, and be
reelly President.
The consultation over the Proclamation wuz long
and painful. Binckley, who is now runnin the government
mostly, hed written the whereases, wich is
the most uv the document. Seward hed taild onto
em the Proclamation proper, wich wuz so small ez
to give it a tad-pole appearance, and it wuz to be
discussed. All uv em wuz in favor uv it but me.
Ez anxious ez I wuz for the liberashen uv our
friends in the Southern States; ez anxious ez I wuz
to give that blessid saint, Deekin Pogram, a chance
to wallop a nigger agin afore he died, without bein
interfered with by a bloo-coated hirelin, I still hed
a dread. “Dare yoo,” sed I, “go further in this
biznis? isn't impeachment at the end uv it, ef yoo
stir up this matter? And with Wade in the Presidenshel
chair — my God! Pollock wood hev MY
post offis! My liege, I hed a dream last nite. Methawt
—”
“Go on with the dream,” sed his Eggslency.
“Go on, and I will be yoor Joseph to interpret it.”
“Kin yoo assoom the caracter uv Joseph and
carry it out,” sed Randall, “with Mrs. Cobb in
Washinton?”
This interupshen preventid me from narratin my
dreem, so I resoomed at the pint at wich I wuz
interruptid. “And my opinion is the opinion uv
Conservative. Agitashun, my liege, mite shake us
out uv our places. On yoo we hang, — yoo are our
hope, our anker, and our cheefest trust.”
And my remarks, wich I delivered with a tremblin
voice, and with teers a rollin down my furrowed
cheeks — I felt the solemnity uv the occasion,
for wat cood I do ef turned out into the cold world
at my age? — wuz receeved with peals uv lafture.
“My deer sir!” sed A. J.; “yoor innosence surprises
me. Impeach me! Never, so long ez filial
and family love is a distinguishin carakteristic uv
the leedin minds uv America, — never, so long ez
a senator hez a nephew to provide for, or a brother
who wants a place. Ah! that love uv blood relashuns!
Wat a beautiful thing it is! And how
strong is the marriage relation wich prompts a man,
when he hez promised to love, cherish, and protect
a wife, to go cherishin and protectin all her brothers'
and her sisters' children — the love goin frekently,
like leprosy, to the third generashun! Thank the
Lord for it. It's my only holt! Set yoor mind at
eeze by peroozin these,” and he tost me a bundle
uv letters, neatly done up, and labelled “Letters
from Radicle Members uv the House and Senit.”
A lite dawned onto me ez I opened the first one.
near ez I kin remember now, thus: —
“To the President: Notwithstandin the slite
difference uv opinion that may egzist between us on
certin minor questions uv public policy, and despite
the unguarded expressions I may hev indulged in in
the heet uv debate, I kin trooly say that I hev ever
cherished the most endoorin faith in the rectitood
uv yoor intenshuns, the honesty uv yoor purpose,
and the purity uv yoor motives. I hev a nephew
in my State who desires the posishen uv Assessor
uv Internal Revenoo. He is capable and honest;
and while he hez alluz voted the Republican ticket,
he hez dun it so mildly ez not to be objeckshenable to
those who differ with him. Indeed, last fall he wuz
accoosed, and perhaps justly, uv votin for a candidate
for Congress who wuz a supporter uv yoor
policy, wich, tho I do not in all respecks accept,
hez, I must acknowledge, many pints in it to recommend
it to a discriminatin people. I shood
esteem his nominashen a persnal favor.
“With sentimence uv the most profound respect
and esteem, I remain admirinly, yours,
state that I regard all projecks of impeechment ez
wild, visionary, onnecessary, and dangerous; and no
sich projeck kin ever reseeve my support. I forgot
to menshen that a brother uv mine, who hez never
taken a part in politics, and hez, therfore, his opinyuns
to organize, wood gladly accept any posishen
under the Government, and a brother-in-law woodent
be averse to simlar employment. It's a matter
uv no consekence to yoo, uv coorse, but I shel
oppose the reassemblin uv Congress till the regler
time in December. I am inflexibly opposed to
establishin dangerous precedents. Shood yoo make
the appintments I desire, I kin git em confirmed
by the Senit, ez well ez an ekal number uv yoor
own appintments. In matters uv this kind ther
must be compromises.”
In my surprise I uttered a prolonged whistle.
“Them appintments wuz made,” sed His Eggslency,
with a sardonicle smile. “Them appintments
wuz made. Read another — there's a varied
and well-selected assortment uv em. The Senit is
my fish-pond. I drop my hook therein, baited with
a Assessorship, and bless me, how they bite at it!
Go on.”
“To the President: I am, ez yoo are aware,
known ez a Radical; but between generous foes
there kin be none of that terrible spirit uv blind
hate which characterizes some uv my associates,
who shel be here nameless. I will say, however,
that if the Senators from Massachoosets, and some
others I cood menshun, wood resine or die, they
wood confer a favor upon the country. I oppose
you becoz I differ with yoo, ez does my State; but
that opposishen hez never lessened my high admirashen
uv your patriotism, yoor even temper, or the
many good qualities uv your head and heart, wich
shine out so conspickuous. I hale you ez a worthy
successor uv the first A. J. I hed not intended to
mix things persnel to myself in this friendly triboot,
but will do violence to my feelins by observin that
the posishun uv Collector at — is admirably
adapted to a cousin uv mine, whose talence ez a
lawyer hez never bin appreciated by those who
know him best. He agrees with me that impeachment
is not to be thot uv, and that sessions uv Congress,
other than reglar ones, is uselis. Shood yoo
be pleased to make the appintment, I shel be proud
to return the favor in any way possible. Ef it
woodent be askin too much, a son uv mine wood
Revenoo. Inheritin from me devoshun to our common
country, he burns to devote himself to her
service.
“I am, yours, as ever,
“Them appintments wuz made also,” sed the
great man, “and three or four more throwd in
when he found how cheep he cood get em. He
visited me after I hed given him all he asked for,
and we hed a frendly interchange uv views. He
persisted in differin with me; but ez we partid, I
askt him ef ther wuzn't jist one more appintment
he wanted? Jist one more? Throwin himself on
my neck, he exclaimed, `Not one! Not one! My
brothers, my brothers-in-law, my nephews, and the
doubtful members uv the Legislacher, wich finally
concloodid to vote for me, are all provided for.'
Bless the Lord for the appintin power! The biznis
uv tradin birth-rites for messes uv pottage, begun
with Esaw; but, thank Heven, it didn't end with
him.”
It wuz unnecessary for me to read more. I hed
seen enuff to satisfy me that the integrity uv one
like a rusty muskit, not strong enuff at the breech
to bear a severe trial without danger uv bustin. I
saw precisely wat wuz the rock on wich we stood,
and what a citadel it wuz. Kin these men, with
these letters in the hands uv our respected cheef,
and ther relatives all a drawin rashens, turn and
rend the hand wich feeds em? Cood I do it? —
and ain't they even ez I am?
And so the proclamashen wuz ishood, and I went
home a feelin good. We shall yet wallop niggers
in Kentucky,; we shel yet redoose em to ther normal
speer; our afflicted brethren in Tennessee
will yet vote, and them not amnestied will be
speshly pardoned ez ther superior merits deserve,
and with all ther will be no impeachment. For
where the carkis is, ther will be the buzzards also,
and we hev the control uv the carkis. Some uv the
buzzards are so gorged with carkis that their eyes
is shut — enuff uv em to inshoor our posishen till
the end uv our term. It is well with us.
(Wich is Postmaster).
| XXXI. Ekkoes from Kentucky | |