University of Virginia Library

CANTO V.

Menes, the first Egyptian King,
Mercury his Son, that Witty Thing:
From him Fifty two Kings liv'd in Disgrace,
In One thousand four hundred years space.
Sesostris in State, give him his due,
Four Archontes his Chariot drew.

28

Five hundred years to the Dynasty of Pastors,
No Trade, nor War then, nor sad Diasters.
Thebanes, Thinites, Memphit's Names,
All of them got Renowned Fames.
Saturn was Noah, Hammon, Chum;
This, Thoth, Thanes (Trim, Tram.)
Apis, Isys, Osyris, Adonis,
Infinite sorts of Tories, and Tonies.
Deities for Numbers, Even or Od,
Every Attribute was a God.
Not so much Πολυθεοτης Right,
As Πολυωνομια in Sight.
Three hundred Joves, Varro makes;
These were Popular Mistakes.
Ægyptian Hieroglyphicks,
Some were Hierogrammaticks:
Others Hierophylacticks,
Belong these to Opticks or Tacticks?
Of these, some were Curiologicks,
For Elements or Signs, Symbolicks.
Hence Monstrosa simulachra came,
Jupiter wore the Head of a Ram.
So Alexander would be painted,
Because he had a mind to be Sainted;
So came Men with Gods acquainted.
Mercurius's Figure, Κυνομορφου Audacis,
Cause Nihil est, Cane sagacius.
All Gods from Egypt drept into Greece,
And there they got the Golden Fleece.

29

Pluto got the Chief Δανεια,
The best is πολυθρυλλετος Υγεια.
Medicines and Architectures,
Were Egyptian Projectures.
Gypsies, Egyptians to this day,
Are Prophets and Doctors, given that way.
Egypt's the old Nurse of all Parts,
Of Magick and Syderial Arts.
The Spawn of wandring Prophets tell
Fortunes, look to your Pockets well.
You need not light so many Tapers,
Stone and Wood Statues cut no Capers,
They'l never fight at Swords and Rapiers.
Nec Dii indigent Lumine,
Pisces semper natant Flumine:
Nec homines carent Fuligine,
Gold and Silver's eat up with Rubigine.
Sues coëunt Lunâ Decrescente,
The Masters agree, from One to Twenty.
Lens Luctum præsagit, you must be Beat,
If you presume any Beans to eat.
Lavare, Jejunare & esse in Casto.
Are Preparatives in Fasto.
Proper for sober Sacrificantes,
Flamines, Jerophantes;
Not for mad Salii Corybantes.
‘Don't disturb my poor weak Senses;
‘If I should lack Wit, I lack Expences.
Odors, stinking and fragrant,
For Spirits fixt, and Spirits vagrant.

30

For Spirits fat, and Spirits lean,
For Spirits foul, and Spirits clean.
But be sure, you nor see, nor touch a Bean;
From that Food I must you wean.
Sound operates either by Fright,
Creating Horror or Delight:
Some by Day and some by Night,
Some play Bo-peep least in Sight.
Some Devils are very shy;
Some are fearful, roar and cry,
And they say, some Spirits dye.
Physian Fields are aloft in the Moon,
The Sophister was up too soon.
Pythagoras saw Hesiod's Soul ty'd
To Brass-Pillars, wept and cry'd;
For fear like a new married Bride,
That had nothing to lose, beside
Her Maiden-head, which she could not hide.
And truly never was deny'd;
The Maid was willing, when she try'd;
Homer's Soul hung all upon Trees,
With Serpents stinging worse than Bees,
For blasting the Gods and Goddesses.
'Tis too true, I'le tell you but so,
Omnia plena Animarum & Dearum too.
For the best Transmigrations ne're Quarrel,
'Tis either into a Lion or a Lawrel;
Why not so well into a Hogshead, or Barrel?
Souls for a year are thrown into Tartar,
And come out thence most pure ever after.

31

I'm not able to forbear Laughter,
Tho I had there a Son or a Daughter.
Me thinks I see the poor Creatures lying,
Like Herrings upon Gridirons frying;
Never dead, but always dying.
This was the Purgatory of Plato,
A wiser Man than e're was Cato.
Dodona's Golden, speaking Grove,
With Memnon's speaking-Stone strove:
I wonder how such Talk may prove,
Matters of State, or Matters of Love.
Fables of Ctesias are full as Evil,
As those of Sir John Mandevill.
The Murosites, volunt, nolunt,
Mures & Sorices colunt.
Amasis took Cyprus by force of Arms,
Marcht with the Gods to serve for Charms,
To keep them from their Enemies Harms.
And to make his Souldiers Valiants,
Never to yield, nor lose their God Gallants.
At Athens, by Pythia's Charge,
Lustration was to be made at Large.
All the White and Black Sheep,
Brought to Areopagus to keep.
From thence let loose, where they begin to Falter,
And couch for Rest, there build an Altar.
Τω προσεκοντι Θεω, in every Street,
Τω αγνωτω Θεω, where ever they meet.
Thales Miletus, Pittacus Mytilenus,
Solon Atheniensis, Bias Prieneus,
Cleobulus Lynda, Myson Chereus.

32

Chilon Lacedemonius: These,
(Kiss my Britch,) were the Seven Wise Men of Greece.
Γνωθι Σεαυτον, Μηδεν Αγαν,
As wise as ever spake Sagan.
Sentences in Apollo's Temple wrote,
Forsooth, lest they should be forgot.
Of Sorrows, some are Fat, some Lean,
'Twixt both, Jack and Gill lick the Platter clean.
Hang Care, Cast away Sorrow,
Eat, Drink and Play, and Dye to Morrow.
Eat Plover, Carp, Partridge and Pheasant,
A short Life and a Pleasant.
‘My Muse is turn'd all Witch,
‘And Barks the Language of a Bitch.
The Sybils were the wisest Crew,
Of all the Witches, I ever knew,
All their Prophecies were True.
Augurs and Magi to them were but Asses,
And so were (Whores all) the Vestal Lasses.
Clouds were the best Goddesses of Wonder,
'Tis they that Rain, Hail, Snow and Thunder.
The most can be said, is that Jove Pisses,
And shoots Bolts, but often misses.
Wonder not we are so on Mischief bent,
For we are all by the Devil sent.
We are in League with him by Blood,
Never to do any Good;
Always in a mad Mood.
The Stoicks are much of our kind,
For Envy and Malice of Mind.

33

The Cynick is a Surly Cur,
He Bays and Bites at every Flur.
‘We must do Mischief, so we must,
‘Be Revenged, though we burst.
‘Pray consider, we kill Pigs,
‘If you'l eat 'um, we'l dance Jiggs,
‘Feast all the Tories and Whigs.