The Poems of John Byrom :: :: University of Virginia Library

A Country Fellow and his Son, they tell
In modern Fables, had an Ass to sell.
For this intent they turn'd it out to play,
And fed so well, that by the destin'd Day

169

They brought the Creature into sleek Repair,
And drove it gently to a neighb'ring Fair.

II

As they were jogging on, a rural Class
Was heard to say: “Look! Look there, at that Ass
And those two Blockheads trudging on each Side,
That have not, either of 'em, Sense to ride!
Asses all Three!”—And thus the Country Folks
On Man and Boy began to cut their Jokes.

III

Th' old Fellow minded nothing that they said,
But ev'ry Word stuck in the young one's Head;
And thus began their Comment thereupon:
“Ne'er heed 'em Lad!” “Nay, Faither, do get on!”
“Not I, indeed!”—“Why then, let me, I pray!”
“Well, do; and see what prating Tongues will say!”

IV

The Boy was mounted; and they had not got
Much further on, before another Knot,
Just as the Ass was pacing by, pad, pad,
Cried: “O! that lazy Looby of a Lad!

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How unconcernedly the gaping Brute
Lets the poor aged Fellow walk afoot!”

V

Down came the Son on hearing this Account,
And begg'd and pray'd, and made his Father mount;
Till a third Party, on a further Stretch,
“See! See,” exclaim'd, “that old hard-hearted Wretch!
How like a Justice there he sits, or Squire,
While the poor Lad keeps wading thro' the Mire!”

VI

“Stop!” cried the Lad, still deeper vexed in Mind,
“Stop, Father, stop! let me get on behind!”
Thus done, they thought they certainly should please,
Escape Reproaches, and be both at Ease;
For, having tried each practicable Way,
What could be left for Jokers now to say?

VII

Still disappointed by succeeding Tone:
“Hark ye, you Fellows! Is that Ass your own?
Get off, for Shame, or one of you at least!
You both deserve to carry the poor Beaft,
Ready to drop down dead upon the Road,
With such an huge, unconscionable Load!”

VIII

On this, they both dismounted and, some say,
Contriv'd to carry, like a Truss of Hay,

171

The Ass between 'em.—Prints, they add, are seen
With Man and Lad, and slinging Ass between;
Others omit that Fancy in the Print,
As over-straining an ingenious Hint.

IX

The Copy that we follow says: the Man
Rubb'd down the Ass, and took to his first Plan;
Walk'd to the Fair, and sold him; got his Price,
And gave his Son this pertinent Advice:
“Let Talkers talk; stick thou to what is best:
To think of pleasing all—is all a Jest.”