30. XXX.
VISITS CAMP DENNISON TO ELECTIONEER FOR
VALLANDIGHAM.
Church uv St. Vallandigum, October the 1st, 1863.
Feelin it a sakred dooty I owed the coz uv
Dimokrasy and free speech, (on awl subgeks not
interferin with Dimokrasy ez it hez bin, ez it is,
or ez it may be,) I visited Camp Dennyson, wich
is naimd after a Abolishnist, to use my stentorin
voice fer Vallandigum, among the payrold prizners.
It wuz a bammy mornin in September
wen I arriv, and procoorin admishen, I set to
work to wunst. Noticin a cupple uv duzen uv
em a playin poker—1 cent anty—I judged by a
instink I hev that ther wuz a good field fer sowin
Dimekratik seed. Advansin, I sed:
“My frends!”
“Wat,” said wun uv em, takin advantij uv the
interrupshen to slip a ace er 2 up his koat-sleeve.
“My frends,” sed I, “I cum 2 yoo ez a possel
uv peece, and a umble advokait uv Dimokrasy,
and that persookootid angil, Vallandigum”—
“Five aces, Jimuel,” sed the person who fust
sed “Wat” to me. “I take the pile, coz yu cant
beet five aces;” and sweepin the munny, he remarkt
2 me, “Now, parson, wat did yoo say?”
“I cum,” sez I, “in behaff uv the outrajd Vallandigum,
who is a exile far away.”
I found that the sile uv Camp Dennyson wuz
altogether 2 stony to maik preeching for Vallandigum
and free speech very pleasent, for no sooner
hed the wurds left my lips than a showr uv stuns
assailed me; wun, that felt ez tho it wayd a tun,
prostrated me. A seriz uv outrajis wuz then perpetrated,
wich beggars deskripshun. I wuz peltid
with offensive eggs, and rotten cabbig, and decayd
pertaters; in fact, at wun time the air wuz so full
uv eggs, that I might hev thot, hed I bin poetikle,
that the blessid sun wuz a mammuth hen, badly
diseazd, and a layin rotten eggs, a milyun a minnit.
Finally, wun uv em sez: “Boys, we aint the prizners
this feller 's after. Johnson's Island 's wher
he wants to go to find his frends.”
“Yes,” sed another, “and to git there yoo go
by water!”
Whereupon, these fiends seezed me and draggd
me thro a hoss-troff 15 er a hundred times. Then
they pourd cole-ile over me, and wuz a goin to set
it afire to dry me, ez they sed, but I broak and
fled, pursood by 1000 uv these infooriatid demuns.
I finally escaipd, by passin myself orf ez Horris
Greely on to a party uv em who stopt me.
I am at present confind to my bed, sustanin
myself by takin dosis uv terbacker joose from J.
Davis' spittoon, dilooted with whisky. It inwiggoratis
me.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
