 | A Fine Companion |  |
Scena I.
Lackwit with a Head-piece and a long sword, Crochet, Carelesse disguised like Dotario.Lack.
How doe I looke now Crochet?
Cro.
Very dreadfully: like a Citizen in a fray, as feare
full as Priapus in a garden.
Lack.
Well, and thou art sure there is but one of them, and
Cro.
Yes sir, and this is the old Gentleman himselfe, and
somebody has stole away his habite to abuse him.
Lack.
That man that has done so shall thinke of me and
this place as long as he lives for it: Goe and give warning
Crochet, that no man withstand me, unlesse he be weary of
his life.
Cro.
If any man be so hardy, let him take his chance.
Lack.
Let him expect my fury Crochet. I will batter any
man that shall come neere me, my fist is like a Sling, my head
like a Ram, and my whole body an Engine, and I will make
any man toothlesse that shall offend me.
Cro.
Then you will make his mouth as unserviceable as
your fathers gumm'd velvet.
Lack.
I long to exercise my puissance: thou art sure there
is but one of them? stand by a little, and let me flourish with
my sword, to animate my spirits; now whatsoever hee is,
that comes in my way, I pronounce him to be a miserable
mortall.
Crochet pulls out 3 or 4 Napkins.
What hast thou there Crochet.
Cro.
I imagin'd there would be a great deale of blood spilt
in the skirmish, and so I brought these to wipe the wounds,
nothing else sir: looke you here they come.
Enter Dotario, Æmilia.
Lack.
Give by Crochet, till I question them: it behooves
a wise man to deal with words, before he descend to blowes:
what arrant knight are you sir? and whither doe you travell
with that Damosell?
Cro.
Presse that point home.
Dot.
O brother Lackwit, how came you so accoutred? or
were you set here for a watch-man to guard us?
Lack.
No sir, I doe not guard, nor regard any man, and
yet Ile stand upon my guard, and this is the poynt Ile maintaine.
Dot.
What doe you meane brother Lackwit?
Lack.
How, I your brother? No, I scorne to have affiance
with such a conny-catcher: you sir Nessus, deliver
Dot.
I am going to marry her, my name is Dotario, and
this is your sister Æmilia.
Lack.
I, she is my sister, but you are a counterfeit, and
have stolne her away.
Cro.
Seize her for fellons goods, she belongs to the Lord
of the soyle.
Lack.
Thou villaine, dost thou not know, if I were dead,
and her other sister, she would be next heire, and then thou
mightst be hangd for her?
Dot.
But I had her consent, and her fathers, my name is
Dotario your neighbour, that have fed you with custard and
apple-pie a hundred times.
Lack.
I, this Gentleman has, but you have abus'd him, and
tooke his wrong name upon you.
Dot.
I am the same.
Cro.
He lyes, beat him for lying, what doe you stay for?
Lack.
I am considering with my eye, which part of him
I shall first cut off.
Cro.
Let's bind him fast, and then lay him upon his backe,
and geld him.
Lack.
A match. Let's lay hold on him; what is he gone?
how finely might my father have been cheated, and all wee
now, if I had not beene: that's some roguing Servingman
disguis'd Ile lay my life on't; if I be not fit to be chronicled
for this act of discretion, let the world judge of it. Well
Crochet, when I have marryed her to the right party, if my
father does not give me forty pounds more, he shall marry
the next daughter himselfe.
Cro.
You must not be too sudden now in the opening of
your plot, after you have marryed them.
Lac.
Advise me good Crochet.
Cro.
Why before you reveale your proceedings, you shall
present your selfe with a great deale of confidence, and promise
of desert; walke up and downe, with a joyfull agony,
and a trembling joy, as if you had escapt from a breach, or redeem'd
your country: then when you see them sufficiently
fill'd with expectation, you may draw the curtaine of your
valour, and stound them with admiration.
So I will Crochet, come let us to the Church.
Exeunt.
| A Fine Companion | |