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Wits Bedlam, Where is had, Whipping-cheer, to cure the Mad

[by John Davies]
Davies, John (1565?-1618)

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[section]
  
To the Right noble Lord the Earle of Buckingham,
  
To the Printer.
  
Againe, of my Selfe.
  
It's a mad world my Maisters. And a merry world my Mistrisses.
  
Bitter zeale, is lesse than Loue.
  
A Caueat.
  
To Martiall.
  
The BOOKE to Grauitie.
  
The BOOKE to the Reader.
  
Againe.
  
Why Poets of the present times, be not so well esteem'd as those of former.
  
Of the worth of wittiest Workes, or Bookes.
  
Mercy with Iustice.
  
Those Lines which all, or none do vnderstand, Do neither with Wit, Art, nor Iudgment stand.
  
Of My selfe; and, this Bable, my Booke.
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[Epigrams.]
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EPITAPHS.
 1. 
On him that was said to be pull'd in peeces in playing the Beare.
 2. 
On an Hermaphrodite.
 3. 
On one Gwillim a common cryer of a Towne.
 4. 
On an Harlot call'd Meg-Mutton of Heref:
 5. 
Upon a noted common-lyer, Iack-ap Iack.
 6. 
On the Woman that was burnt in Smithfield for killing her Master, in her anger.
 7. 
Vpon one borne blinde.
  
Vpon Iohn of all Iohns.
 9. 
On one Wood a miser, burnt by a Queane.
 10. 
On one who built himselfe bankeroupt, to keepe the poore on worke.
 11. 
On one that yeelded his Weapons in priuat fight; the conceipt whereof after brake his heart.
 12. 
On one that a Queane made to Father her Bastard, begotten by his Man.
 13. 
Vpon one Church-euill a debosh'd base Whore-hunter, who dyed of the Pox.
 14. 
On a common Drunkard.
 15. 
On an English stutting-Booke-seller who learned French, to sell Bookes to French-men.
 16. 
On Tarlton.
 17. 
On a rare Dyer of Silke.
 18. 
On a selfe conceited Foole.
 19. 
On one who cheated his Father.
 20. 
Epi. 20.
 318. 
On Iohn A-Stile.
 22. 
On Rauiliack who murdered Henry the fourth French-King. 22.
 23. 
On George a Greene, Pinder of Wakefield. 23.
  
On little Iohn.
  
On Billy Grime.
  
On a Roring Boy calld Thing.
 27. 
Of one Baudyman, whose name and nature were one. 27.
 28. 
Of one R. Hand that died of the Poxe. 28.
 29. 
Upon a Youngster, who lay with a Maid, at the Labour in vaine. 29.
 30. 
On a man borne dumbe. 30.
 31. 
Uppon one Eleazer Death a good fellow Taylor. 31.
 32. 
Deaths Epitaph. 32.
 34. 
On one Forgot a Pitman. 34.
 35. 
On a short spare man, that wore alwayes an huge paire of Cloke-bag hose. 35.
 36. 
On Iohn an Oakes.
 37. 
One Ro: Gose a light-headed wanton.
 38. 
On a Sot that was held honest though such cannot bee so.
 39. 
On one N. Pot, a dunkard who was stabb'd in an Ale-house.
 40. 
On an idle prattler, nick-named Words.
 41. 
On one H. Quarrell.
 42. 
One one B. Holiday.
 45. 
Being desir'd to make an Epitaph on an ill-belou'd rich miserable yong-man whose name was Bright; and whose mothers name by her father, was Sparke; he writ.
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Foure sad Epitaphs.
 51. 
On a Bankcrupt called Myte.
 51. 
On a wicked fellow called P. Godsoll.
 52. 
Of one Woorth that died Lowsie, hauing had a good lyuing; but spent it leawdly.
 53. 
On one Elizabeth Butter a faire maide.
 53. 
On one I. Cheese, an old Leatcher.
 56. 
On one P. Cocke, a rich foole, who gaue much money by wil, to make him a faire Tombe.
 56. 
On a common Drunkard call'd Man.
 57. 
On one call'd Iaques.
 58. 
On one Wit, whose mother died with his birth; a contentious fellow.
 59. 
On the Cripple, who stole the weather-cocke of Paules.
 60. 
On one called Holyday a great gamester kill'd playing at Primero.
 61. 
Vpon one Denis who slue one in a Tennis-court about the difference of a Chase.
 62. 
On one Gold, a great Dicer.
 63. 
On No-body, as he is fancied & set foorth in picture.
 64. 
On a double fellow, ill composed.
 65. 
On a skiruy fellow, enriched by a Queane.
  
On a Userer.
 66. 
On one Norman, an ill man. 66.
 67. 
On one Maister Linder, that was burnt by a Drab: and thereof dyed. 67.
 68. 
On a most intollerable curst Wife. 68.
 69. 
On one that lou'd Sacke as his Soule. 69.
 70. 
On a Pander. 70.
 71. 
On a common quarreller. 71.
 72. 
On one called Hinde, a miserable Vsurer. 72.
 73. 
Epitaph. 73.
 74. 
On a Bridewell-Beadle. 74.
 75. 
On a Man whose name was Mouse. 75.
 76. 
On one Nichols, that chang'd his Religion, many times. 76.
 77. 
On one Loue a Gold-finder alias a Iakes-Farmer. 77.
 78. 
On a tall Coward. 78.
 79. 
By one Shockman hang'd in chaines on a Hill. 79.
 80. 
On a, Bankeroupt that liu'd (till he died) long in Ludgate, oft begging in the Hole. 80.
  
To my Worthily much honored M. Richard Martin, learned in the Lawes, Arts, and Languages.
  
To my Noble and euer best beloued Pupill, Captaine Henry Maynwarring.
  
The conclusion.
  
On Banning.
  
An excuse for Faults escapt in Printing by reason my Occasions would not permit me to looke to the Presse.

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Of a merry World.

Epi. 365.

Lord! what a merry World is this now grown?
Late call'd a Uale of Troubles and of Teares;
The Temples-Marke quite puts the Sermon downe
For great resot of Commons, Mad dames, Peeres.
The World runnes all on Wheeles; for, as I went
From Temple-barre to Bed-ward, was so barr'd
VVith Rankes of Coaches, of such huge extent,
That, as with {Edons} prest, with me it far'd:
For, for a {Bor stoore} hardly found I Way
Or if i did, t'was Edg-long, soild with Durt;
{Yet} In and Out I danc't a nasty Hay;
And, glad I was I had none other Hurt:
But, wisht each Coach had Carted the owner
That all my mire (at least) had fall'n vpon her.
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