 | The Staple of Newes |  |
The fourth Intermeane after the fourth Act.
Tatle.Why? This was the worst of all! the Catastrophe!
Cen.
The matter began to be good, but now: and he has spoyl'd it
all, with his Begger there!
Mirt.
A beggerly Iacke it is, I warrant him, and a kin to the
Poet.
Tat.
Like enough, for hee bad the chiefest part in his play, if you
marke it.
Exp.
Absurdity on him, for a huge ouergrowne Play-maker! why
should he make him liue againe, when they, and we all thought him dead?
If he had left him to his ragges, there had beene an end of him.
Tat.
I, but set a beggar on horse-backe, hee'll neuer linne till hee be
a gallop.
Cen.
The young heyre grew a fine Gentleman, in this last Act!
Exp.
So he did, Gossip: and kept the best company.
Cen.
And feasted 'hem, and his Mistresse!
Tat.
And shew'd her to 'hem all! was not iealous!
Mirth.
But very communicatiue, and liberall, and beganne to be
magnificent, if the churle his father would haue let him alone.
Cen.
It was spitefully done o' the Poet, to make the Chuffe take him
off in his heighth, when he was going to doe all his braue deedes!
Exp.
To found an Academy!
Tat.
Erect a Colledge!
Exp.
Plant his Professors, and water his Lectures.
Mirth.
With wine, gossips, as he meant to doe, and then to defraud
his purposes?
Exp.
Kill the hopes of so many towardly young spirits?
Tat.
As the Doctors?
Cen.
And the Courtiers! I protest, I was in loue with Master
Fitton. He did weare all he had, from the hat-band, to the shooe-tye, so
politically, and would stoop, and leere?
Mirth.
And lie so, in waite for a piece of wit, like a Mouse-trap?
Indeed Gossip, so would the little Doctor, all his behauiour was
meere glister! O' my conscience, hee would make any parties physicke
i' the world worke, with his discourse.
Mir.
I wonder they would suffer it, a foolish old fornicating Father,
to ranish away his sonnes Mistresse.
Cen.
And all her women, at once, as hee did!
Tat.
I would ha' flyen in his gypsies faces i' faith.
Mirth.
It was a plaine piece of politicall incest, and worthy to be
brought afore the high Commission of wit. Suppose we were to censure
him, you are the youngest voyce, Gossip Tatle, beginne.
Tatle.
Mary, I would ha' the old conicatcher coozen'd of all he
has, i'the young heyres defence, by his learn'd Counsell, Mr Picklocke!
Censvre.
I would rather the Courtier had found out some tricke
to begge him, from his estate!
Exp.
Or the Captaine had courage enough to beat him.
Cen.
Or the fine Madrigall-man, in rime, to haue runne him out o'
the Countrey, like an Irish rat.
Tat.
No, I would haue Master Pyed-mantle, her Graces Herald,
to pluck downe his hatchments, reuerse his coat-armour, and nullifie
him for no Gentleman.
Exp.
Nay, then let Master Doctor dissect him, haue him open'd, and
his tripes translated to Lickfinger, to make a probation dish of.
Cen., Tat.
Agreed! Agreed!
Mirth.
Faith I would haue him flat disinherited, by a decree of
Court, bound to make restitution of the Lady Pecunia, and the vse of her
body to his sonne.
Exp.
And her traine, to the Gentlemen.
Cen.
And both the Poet, and himselfe, to aske them all forgiuenesse!
Tat.
And vs too.
Cen.
In two large sheetes of paper—
Exp.
Or to stand in a skin of parchment, (which the Court please)
Cen.
And those fill'd with newes!
Mirth.
And dedicated to the sustaining of the Staple!
Exp.
Which their Poet hath let fall, most abruptly?
Mirth.
Banckruptly, indeede!
Cen.
You say wittily, Gossip, and therefore let a protest goe out against
him.
Mir.
A mourniuall of protests; or a gleeke at least!
Exp.
In all our names:
Cen.
For a decay'd wit—
Exp.
Broken—
Tat.
Non-soluent—
Censvre.
And, for euer, forfet—
Mirth.
To scorne, of Mirth?
Cen.
Censure!
Exp.
Expectation!
Tat.
Subsign'd. Tatle, Stay, they come againe.
| The Staple of Newes | |