 | Vulgar Verses |  |
147
T' Pointsman.
Eawr Lizzie's nowther jimp nor small,
Hoo's big an' stoot i' limb;
Her broother Jim stan's fahve foot nahn,
An' hoo's as big as Jim.
Hoo's big an' stoot i' limb;
Her broother Jim stan's fahve foot nahn,
An' hoo's as big as Jim.
Te see her, wiv her flannen cawt
An' foostian breeches on,
A-throotchin' corves i' winter tahm,
Yo'd think her wur a mon!
An' foostian breeches on,
A-throotchin' corves i' winter tahm,
Yo'd think her wur a mon!
For throotchin' corves at bank an' broo,
An' work wi' pick an' spaade,
An' lawdin' troocks, an' climmin' shoots,—
All them was Lizzie traade.
An' work wi' pick an' spaade,
An' lawdin' troocks, an' climmin' shoots,—
All them was Lizzie traade.
An' well hoo did it! Talk o' men,
An' lasses big an' small!
Theer's twalve on 'em weer Lizzie work'd,
An' Lizzie capp'd 'em all.
An' lasses big an' small!
Theer's twalve on 'em weer Lizzie work'd,
An' Lizzie capp'd 'em all.
Hoo did, Ah tell ye! T'oother gells
Gets nobbut wenches' paa;
Bud Lizzie addled brooman waage—
That's aaf a croon a daa!
Gets nobbut wenches' paa;
Bud Lizzie addled brooman waage—
That's aaf a croon a daa!
148
Hoo's prood on it—hoo's rare an' prood—
Hoo offens said to me,
“Ah've niver doon nowt else, mah lad,
Nor niver wants te de!”
Hoo offens said to me,
“Ah've niver doon nowt else, mah lad,
Nor niver wants te de!”
Well, well! “But if Ah hed mah limbs,
Mah lass,” Ah've allas said,
“Thah shouldna wark at broo nae mair
When thee an' me is wed!”
Mah lass,” Ah've allas said,
“Thah shouldna wark at broo nae mair
When thee an' me is wed!”
Yo seen, Ah knaw'dna wat med coom;
Ah thowt it shaame, te see
A graadely wench as Lizzie is,
Tahd tiv a chap lahk me.
Ah thowt it shaame, te see
A graadely wench as Lizzie is,
Tahd tiv a chap lahk me.
For Ah was crippled, last back-end;
Yon tahm, when me an' Liz
Was wrought tegither at the trams,
At Marsh an' Morris's.
Yon tahm, when me an' Liz
Was wrought tegither at the trams,
At Marsh an' Morris's.
Dahn coom'd a tram, beawt a break,
Upon us lahk a knife:
Liz lost a finger an' a thoomb,
An' Ah was laamed for life.
Upon us lahk a knife:
Liz lost a finger an' a thoomb,
An' Ah was laamed for life.
Bud wat! Hoo didna skrike nor swound;
For all her bleedin' hand
Hoo lugg'd ma' dahn to th' office-plaace,
For why? Ah couldna stand.
For all her bleedin' hand
Hoo lugg'd ma' dahn to th' office-plaace,
For why? Ah couldna stand.
149
An when Ah'd ligg'd i' th' hospital
Fahve weary weeks an' moor,
'Twas Liz, 'at coom'd a-seechin' ma',
And speerin' at the door.
Fahve weary weeks an' moor,
'Twas Liz, 'at coom'd a-seechin' ma',
And speerin' at the door.
Tha' let her in: tha' hadn't need
Kept aht mah feyther kin!
For hoo's mah feyther broother child—
An' saw tha' let her in.
Kept aht mah feyther kin!
For hoo's mah feyther broother child—
An' saw tha' let her in.
Hoo tell'd it 'em—hoo tell'd it all;
Hoo says, as bowld as brass,
“Ah's sweetheart tiv him, an' Ah's kin—
Ah's noan a straanger lass!”
Hoo says, as bowld as brass,
“Ah's sweetheart tiv him, an' Ah's kin—
Ah's noan a straanger lass!”
An' saw, tha' let her in, yo seen;
Bud when Ah seed her hand—
The piece 'at's left on't—happit oop
I' cloots an' bits o' band,
Bud when Ah seed her hand—
The piece 'at's left on't—happit oop
I' cloots an' bits o' band,
“Thah's coom'd te see ma', lass,” Ah says,
“Thah's allas kind an' free;
Bud wat, thah's nobbut fit for nowt
Bud lig a-bed, lahk me!”
“Thah's allas kind an' free;
Bud wat, thah's nobbut fit for nowt
Bud lig a-bed, lahk me!”
“Naa, lad,” hoo says, “Ah's reet eneeaf!
An' if mah thoomb is gone,
Ah laa Ah'll grip ma spaade agëan
Wi' ony oother mon!”
An' if mah thoomb is gone,
Ah laa Ah'll grip ma spaade agëan
Wi' ony oother mon!”
150
Spaade? Aye, an' did! an' corves an' all,
An' rowk'd 'em eawt o' t' caage!
Hoo still could de a brooman wark,
An' addle brooman waage.
An' rowk'd 'em eawt o' t' caage!
Hoo still could de a brooman wark,
An' addle brooman waage.
An' eh! wat taales hoo tell'd ma' then,
Te cheer ma oop i' th' ward,
O' Jim 'at's wed, an' Sam 'at's dëad,
An' Bill 'at's drinkin' hard!
Te cheer ma oop i' th' ward,
O' Jim 'at's wed, an' Sam 'at's dëad,
An' Bill 'at's drinkin' hard!
“Bud wat's te deah wi' thee,” Ah says,
“Mah lass? An' haw's theesen?
Hes doctors gripp'd this hand o' thine
An' set it reet agëan?”
“Mah lass? An' haw's theesen?
Hes doctors gripp'd this hand o' thine
An' set it reet agëan?”
“Doctors?” hoo says, “a bonny taale!
Ah wants nae doctor fee!
Thah's getten th' 'ospital an' cloob,
Bud waw's te paa for me?
Ah wants nae doctor fee!
Thah's getten th' 'ospital an' cloob,
Bud waw's te paa for me?
“Naa, lad, Ah fetch'd owd Tommy Jaane,
At draws wer teeth, yo known;
Hoo's rare an' good for dressin' wownds
An' settin' bits o' bawn:
At draws wer teeth, yo known;
Hoo's rare an' good for dressin' wownds
An' settin' bits o' bawn:
“Hoo sattled t' blood, an' happ'd it oop,
An' gied ma' stooff an' all;
An' sin' Ah's getten wark agëan,
Ah donna feel sae small!
An' gied ma' stooff an' all;
An' sin' Ah's getten wark agëan,
Ah donna feel sae small!
151
“Bud wahl mah t'oother hand gets well,
Ah's lahk a daatal mon;
Ah fettles th' plaace, an' knocks abaht,
An' diz wat jobs Ah con;
Ah's lahk a daatal mon;
Ah fettles th' plaace, an' knocks abaht,
An' diz wat jobs Ah con;
“Ah's pawstman, lad, an' carries th' bag—
Ah's packman wi' his pack!
Ah gans te th' office ivery morn,
Wi' letters o' me back!
Ah's packman wi' his pack!
Ah gans te th' office ivery morn,
Wi' letters o' me back!
“An,' laddie, if thah's boon te dee,
Thah needna fret for Liz;
Ah's got anoother sweetheart nah,
Te keep ina, if thah diz!”
Thah needna fret for Liz;
Ah's got anoother sweetheart nah,
Te keep ina, if thah diz!”
Ah thowt hoo meean'd it; an' Ah says,
“Ah weean't be jealous, lass;
Thah's wuth a graadelier mon till me—
'At's nowther strength nor brass!”
“Ah weean't be jealous, lass;
Thah's wuth a graadelier mon till me—
'At's nowther strength nor brass!”
Hoo kooss'd ma', weer Ah ligg'd i' th' bed,
Hoo kooss'd ma' sweet an' saft;
An' says, “For shaame, thoo dodderin' feeal!
'Oo can tha' be sae daft?
Hoo kooss'd ma' sweet an' saft;
An' says, “For shaame, thoo dodderin' feeal!
'Oo can tha' be sae daft?
“Mah t'oother sweetheart's noan a mon,
Nor niver lahk te be:
It's joost a job Ah's getten, lad,
Te keep mysel'—an' thee.
Nor niver lahk te be:
It's joost a job Ah's getten, lad,
Te keep mysel'—an' thee.
152
“For Ah was foss'd te show me 'and
Te Morrises an' them;
An' t' maister, him 'at's ovverseer,
Says, ‘Lass, thah shanna clem!
Te Morrises an' them;
An' t' maister, him 'at's ovverseer,
Says, ‘Lass, thah shanna clem!
“‘Thah fraames uncommon well,’ he says,
‘Te grip thy pick an’ spaade;
Bud wat, beawt a thoomb,’ he says,
‘Thoo's hardlins fit for t' traade.
‘Te grip thy pick an’ spaade;
Bud wat, beawt a thoomb,’ he says,
‘Thoo's hardlins fit for t' traade.
“‘Ah knaws thah's used te troocks an’ that—
Sidins an' points,’ says he;
‘An' if Ah've got a pointsman plaace,
Bah goom! Ah'll give it thee.’
Sidins an' points,’ says he;
‘An' if Ah've got a pointsman plaace,
Bah goom! Ah'll give it thee.’
“Aye, an' he hez! Owd Tommy plaace—
Top end o' Dickson Löan;
He gied it ma', for me an' thee
Te hev it for wer awn.
Top end o' Dickson Löan;
He gied it ma', for me an' thee
Te hev it for wer awn.
“For th' hahse, it's big eneaaf for two;
An', laddie, when we're wed,
Thah'lt sit an' smook i' th' chimla neuk,
An' lig tha' dahn o' th' bed.”
An', laddie, when we're wed,
Thah'lt sit an' smook i' th' chimla neuk,
An' lig tha' dahn o' th' bed.”
That's wat mah Lizzie tell'd te me
Yon tahm i' th' hospital;
An' eh, mah wod! it gied ma strength,
An' cheer'd ma' oop an' all!
Yon tahm i' th' hospital;
An' eh, mah wod! it gied ma strength,
An' cheer'd ma' oop an' all!
153
Saw nah then, we're as wick as lops;
An' cripple if Ah is,
Ther's noan a pointsman upo' th' line
'At's thowt on lahk mah Liz!
An' cripple if Ah is,
Ther's noan a pointsman upo' th' line
'At's thowt on lahk mah Liz!
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