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The Life and Notable Adventures of that Renown'd Knight, Don Quixote De la Mancha

Merrily Translated into Hudibrastick Verse. By Edward Ward

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CANTO XXII.
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414

CANTO XXII.

The Don and Sancho ride to see
The Funeral Solemnity:
The Croud they meet with by the way,
Their Chat, and how they spend the Day.
Scarce had the dawning of the Morn
Proclaim'd Aurora's kind return,
In th' Eastern Quarters of the Skies,
Where the bright God delights to rise,
E're th' early Goatherds left their Sheep,
And from their Huts began to creep,
Lest they should miss the pompous Sight
They'd thought and dream'd of all the Night.
Or lose some Rural Recreation,
That might forerun the grand Procession.
So that as soon as each had bolted
From out his Straw, and scratch'd his Dolthead,

415

They in a Body call'd upon
Their armed Guest, the doubty Don,
To ask if he was still inclin'd
To do what he o'er Night design'd.
Quixote with Love and Valour fir'd,
Reply'd, He nothing more desir'd.
So rowsing with a wakeful Brain,
Like a fierce Lyon from his Den,
He gap'd and fizzl'd twice or thrice,
And then was ready in a trice;
Ord'ring the Squire to fetch his Steed,
And his own Ass from Grass, with speed,
That both in readiness might be,
To bear the Goatherds Company.
Sancho ill fuddl'd over Night,
Could scarce look up against the Light,
But scratch'd his Ears and rub'd his Eyes,
Like one just wak'd in a surprise.
However, when he'd paus'd a little,
He did his Errand to a tittle.

416

So up they mounted, and away
They jog'd, soon after break of Day;
But had not travel'd, Horse and Foot,
A Mile from whence they first set out,
E're they met coming from a Cross-way,
Six mourning Shepherds on the Coss-way,
Clad all in long black Lambskin Gowns,
And on their Noddles Cypress Crowns,
Adorn'd, to make the better shew,
With sprigs of Rosemary and Ewe,
Each bearing upright in his hand
A Holly Staff, or rather Wand.
And after these two Gallant Blades,
Came on well mounted on their Pads;
On Foot three Lacquies running by,
To shew their Masters Quality.
These choping on the Don by chance,
They join'd, and did one way advance.
All Sides, with civil Carriage, greeting
Each other at the place of meeting;

417

A Passage wonderfully rare,
Consid'ring that the Knight was there.
No sooner had they been so free,
To Quere, Which way travel ye?
But each by t'others Answer found,
They all were to the Funeral bound.
So Cheek by Jowl along they went,
Like Old Nick and the Earl of Kent.
As they jog'd on, from place to place,
Familiar Chat sprang up apace.
So that the Horsemen all began
To be as great as Cup and Kan;
And mutual Questions pass'd between
Don Quixote and the Gentlemen.
At length they talk'd about the Death
Of him who had resign'd his Breath,
And curs'd the Charms of poor Marcella,
For killing such an honest Fellow;
And for the Cruelty and Pride
She'd us'd to many more beside.

418

The Knight desirous not a little,
To know the Matter to a tittle,
Was very prying to discover
Whate'er had pass'd 'twixt Lass and Lover;
But could not be inform'd much more,
Than what the Clown had told before.
At length a pert young jolly Blade,
Who had the armed Don survey'd,
And view'd him round, from Head to Foot,
His Horse, his Lance, and Man to boot,
Presum'd to ask him, why in Peace
He wore so strange a warlike Dress,
And rid so fiercely arm'd abroad,
On such an inoffensive Road.
The Don, affecting much Discretion,
Reply'd, I'm bound by my Profession
To thus go arm'd in ev'ry place,
Where I my Person show, or Face.
Should I without these Arms appear
'Twould shame the Honour that I bear.

419

Luxurious Feasts and costly Messes,
Dull downy Ease and sumptuous Dresses
Were first invented to delight
Rich Courtiers, not dispos'd to fight:
But Labour, Vigilance, and Arms,
To save the Innocent from Harms,
Belong to Errant Knights alone,
Of which fam'd Order I am one.
This crazy Answer was enough
To give the Gentlemen a proof,
That Love or Study had confus'd
His Senses, and his Brains abus'd.
However, to discover wholly,
The nature of the Champion's Folly,
Vivaldo, who was entertaining
Don Quixote, gravely ask'd the meaning
Of these Knight-Errants, whence they came,
And when they first obtain'd that Name?
What was their real Occupation?
And how that Order came in fashion?

420

The Champion not displeas'd to hear
Such Questions ask'd within his Sphere,
Reply'd, I wonder Men of Birth,
Whose Equipage declare your Worth,
Should, after all your Learning, be
Such Strangers unto Errantry;
Turn but the Brittish Annals o'er,
Which treat of things in times of Yore;
And there at large you may behold,
King Arthur's famous Deeds of old,
Who, by Inchantment, long ago,
Was metamorphos'd to a Crow;
And will again, 'tis thought, recover
His former Shape, some time or other,
And reassume that sov'reign Pow'r
He was possess'd of heretofore.
Wherefore the People of that Nation
Are conscious, since his Transformation,
Of killing any Crow, for fear
Their good old Prince, to whom they bear

421

Such Rev'rence, should, by chance, be slain,
And never more appear again.
This warlike King, of ancient Fame,
The only Monarch of that Name,
Vertue and Valour's great Rewarder,
First instituted that brave Order,
Surnam'd the Knights of the Round-Table,
For Ages held so venerable;
Who prov'd, as Learned Heads agree,
The Fathers of Knight-Errantry.
'Twas also then, or I mistake,
The fam'd Sir Lancelot du Lake,
Nobly transacted the Amour,
'Twixt him and fair Queen Guinever;
Quintiniana, by consent
Of both, b'ing made their Confident,
And Manager of all between
The worthy Champion and the Queen;
For Court-Intrigues are ne'er well laid,
Without some cunning Gossip's Aid,

422

Who can pray often, look demure,
Lye gracefully, and hold the Door.
This fortunate Amour, by chance,
Produc'd that noted old Romance,
Wherein these following Lines are writ,
In Spain so valu'd for their Wit.
‘On Earth there never was a Knight
‘So waited on by Ladies bright,
‘As was Sir Lancelot du Lake,
‘When he his Country did forsake.
In such pathetick Strains as these,
Contriv'd to both instruct and please.
His Feats of Arms, Amours, and Worth,
Are well and artfully set forth,
As the Polite and Learn'd may see
In the same ancient History.
From thence Knight-Errantry began,
And, by degrees, advanc'd in Spain,
As well as in all other Parts,
Where Men encourag'd Arms and Arts;

423

Then great Amadis, stil'd de Gaul,
Made known his Valour unto all;
And by his Actions so inspir'd
His Offspring, that his Race acquir'd
An everlasting Reputation,
Down to the fourth or fifth Gen'ration.
Then Felixmart, the bold Hyrcanian,
By's Feats obtain'd the World's Opinion.
And Tirante the White became,
In those blest Times, a Knight of Fame.
Nay, had we liv'd a little sooner
We might have had the happy Honour,
To've seen that modern Champion's Face,
Don Bellianis, Knight of Greece,
Who strictly kept to his Profession,
Rescuing all Suff'rers from Oppression.
These of that ancient Order were,
According to whose Laws I bear
These trusty Arms, in the defence
Of helpless injur'd Innocence.

424

'Tis for this Cause I thus set forth,
And range the Desarts of the Earth,
All Dangers face, and Hardships bear,
Without Regret, Complaint, or Fear,
And Night and Day Occasions seek,
To succour and defend the weak.
Vivaldo being much amaz'd,
To find a Man so strangely craz'd,
Who, notwithstanding, spoke so well,
And in a Mode thus Rational,
Resolv'd, since Quixote was so free,
T'improve the Opportunity.
So riding close to t'other's Horse,
He thus continu'd the Discourse.
Methinks, Sir Knight, your strict Profession
Must be a strange Mortification.
O'th' two I should as soon desire
To be a poor Carthusian Fryer.
Nay, as your Worship states the Matter,
The easi'st Life must be the latter.

425

‘Our discipline (replies the Knight)
‘Is more severe, so far you 're right;
‘But grant that the Carthusian Fryers,
‘Laid stricter Bonds on their Desires,
‘Their pious Prayers, which are but Words,
‘Would never do the work of Swords,
‘They only sit in Peace and Ease,
‘And pray no oftner than they please;
‘Have little to disturb their Heads,
‘Besides their Paters and their Beads,
‘But danger-free enjoy the Light,
‘And unmolested sleep at Night;
‘Whilst we, with hazard of our Lives,
‘Help injur'd Widows, Maids, and Wives,
‘Lie rough, feed hard, and cut and slay,
‘For what those Fryers only pray;
‘We Knights are often forc'd to bleed for
‘What they, alas! but intercede for:
‘We travel on without retreat,
‘From Winter's cold or Summer's heat,

426

‘And daily do our Lives expose,
‘To Truth and Vertue's monstrous Foes.
‘Therefore the Justice that we do,
‘In these Adventures we pursue,
‘And Risques we run, most plainly show,
‘We're Heaven's Ministers below;
‘Not that I would be thought profane,
‘So irreligious and so vain,
‘As to condemn a Holy Life,
‘Because it's free from Care and Strife;
‘I only would infer from thence
‘We 'ndure more Hardships, take more Pains,
‘And do to humane Race more good,
‘Than all the Convents ever cou'd.
But there's one thing (reply'd Vivaldo)
I can't approve of, which you all do,
I've read that when an Errant Knight
Is just preparing for a Fight,
Instead of making his Address
To Heav'n for Safty and Success,

427

As all good Christians ought to do,
When Life's at stake and Death in view,
He only dedicates his Pray'r
To some far distant Lady fair,
Imploring her deceitful Charms,
To give the vict'ry to his Arms,
Tho' his dear Madam's quite a Stranger,
To his Adventure or the Danger;
Besides, it is a Pagan Mode,
To make a God of Flesh and Blood,
And such prepostrous Zeal can be
No less than base Idolatry:
‘We're bound (quoth Quixote) not to vary
‘From what has been accustomary
‘In Errantry, our ancient Fashions
‘Admit no modern Alterations;
‘Knights always, e'er they fight, implore
‘The Aid of Beauties they adore,
‘And in all Dangers and Surprise,
‘Conceit 'em still before their Eyes,

428

‘And strongly fancy, when they fight,
‘They Tilt to do their Ladies Right.
‘This Rule the Knights in ev'ry Age
‘Have kept, when going to engage,
‘That Love and Rage together join'd,
‘Might fire and animate the Mind,
‘And make us rush upon our Foes,
‘With greater Zeal and fiercer Blows;
‘Yet tho' we pray to those we Love,
‘We're not forgetful of above,
‘But whilst contending, still apply
‘Our thoughts to Heav'n for Victory.
Vivaldo to the Knight reply'd,
I am not yet well satisfy'd,
For I have often found in reading,
Two Knights, of equal strength and breeding,
Have first saluted one another
With How d'ye do? I thank you Brother,
And the next moment falling out,
Have turn'd their Horses Heads about,

429

Then Couching their inviduous Lances,
Have made such desperate Advances,
And at each other rid full Tilt,
Till one upon the Spot had spilt
His Adversary's Blood, and brought him
To th' Ground, whilst t'other Knight that fought him,
To keep his Saddle drop'd his Rein,
And catch'd fast hold of Horse's Mane.
All this being often done of old
In half a Minute, as we're told,
How was there time in such a space,
For both Idolatry and Grace,
That they their Love and Zeal could shew
To th' Peticoat and Heaven too.
Especially, what room have they
For Christian Thoughts, who only pray,
I'th' Onset, to some Beauteous Creature,
And dye the very moment a'ter,
But ev'ry Knight who does approve
This wand'ring Life is not in Love,

430

Or have they, I suppose, their Lasses
T'invoke in all such desp'rate Cases.
‘Sir your Conjecture (quoth the Knight)
‘I can assure you, is not right;
‘No Champion can from Love be free,
‘If he professes Errantry;
‘The Starry Orbs that shine so bright
‘And bless the neather World with Light,
‘Can never more essential prove,
‘To th' Lofty Skies, wherein they move,
‘Than Love, and the prevailing Charms
‘Of Beauty, are to Knights in Arms;
‘For 'twould be thought a great Transgression
‘In any Man of our Profession,
‘To wander thro' the World unblest,
‘Without a Sov'reign of his Breast,
‘Whose Charms the want of Spite supply,
‘When e'er he does his Valour try;
‘Besides no Hist'ry does discover
‘One Champion Knight that was no Lover;

431

‘For should we own ourselves to be
‘From Love, that gen'rous Passion, free,
‘The World would say we had no Right
‘To bear the Worthy Name of Knight,
‘But leap'd the Fence and basely came,
‘Thief-like, to th' Honour that we claim;
‘Because we have no Lady fair,
‘According as our Laws require,
‘No Beauteous Damsel in our view,
‘To dedicate our Combats to.
Mars had his Venus to excite him
‘To Warllke Deeds, and to delight him;
‘So ev'ry Knight must have his Lady,
‘To keep his Resolution steady;
‘For none are desp'rate, say the Learn'd,
‘Unless a Woman be concern'd.
But Sir I'm sure (reply'd the other)
I've read of Don Galaor, the Brother
Of Amadis, who ne'er had Wife,
Fair Lass, or Mistress in his Life;

432

And yet he was esteem'd to be
A valliant Knight in Errantry.
‘For Truth we can't depend upon
‘That single Instance, (quoth the Don)
‘Besides, suppose it no Mistake,
‘One Swallow does no Summer make.
‘'Tis true, I've read he would be great with,
‘And court all Ladies that he met with;
‘From whence some Readers do infer,
‘He'd no one in particular:
‘But that some Writers do disprove,
‘Affirming that he was in Love,
‘And that he had, behind the Curtain,
‘A fav'rite Lady, of a certain,
‘Whom he admir'd in ev'ry part,
‘And crown'd the Empress of his Heart;
‘Also to whom, in silent thought,
‘He made Oblations e'er he fought;
‘For 'twas his Temper to approve
‘Always of Secresy in Love;

433

‘For which Discretion ev'ry Dame
‘Admir'd him, wheresoe'er he came.
Just here the stumbling of his Horse,
At present, broke of their Discourse,
Wherein Vivaldo and the Knight,
Had such reciprocal Delight.
Mistaken Men with Zeal defend
The Cause to which they do pretend,
And, Quixote like, divert their Hearers,
In lab'ring to maintain their Errors.