 | CHAPTER V. The Lunatic At Large |  |
3.5. CHAPTER V.
The next morning the two conspirators breakfasted early. The Baron seemed a little nervous now that it came so near the venture, but his friend was as cheerful as a schoolboy, and his confident air soon put fresh courage into Rudolph.
Mr Bunker's bedroom opened out of their common sitting-room, and so he declared that in the afternoon the Baron must be laid up there.
"Keep your room all morning,'' he said, "and look as pale as you can. I shall make my room ready for you.''
When the Baron had retired, he threw himself into a chair and gazed for a few minutes round his bedroom. Then he rang his bell, ordered the servant to make the bed immediately, and presently went out to do some shopping. On the way he sent word to the Countess, telling her only that the Baron was indisposed, but that in spite of this misfortune he hoped he should have the pleasure of their company at tea. The rest of the morning he spent in his bedroom, prudently keeping out of the ladies' way.
When, after a substantial lunch which he insisted upon getting up to eat, the Baron was allowed to enter the sick-room, he uttered an exclamation of astonishment,— and indeed his surprise was natural. The room was as full of flowers as a conservatory; chairs, wardrobe,
The Baron was delighted, but a little puzzled.
"Vat for are zese fishes and ze canaries?'' he asked.
"To show your love of nature.''
"Vy so?''
"There is nothing that pleases a woman more.''
"My friend, you zink of everyzing!'' exclaimed the Baron, admiringly.
When four o'clock approached he drew a night-shirt over his other garments and got into bed. Mr Bunker at first was in favour of a complete change of attire, but on his friend's expostulating against such a thorough precaution, he admitted that it would be perhaps rather like the historic blacking of Othello.
"Leave it all to me, my dear Baron,'' he said, reassuringly, as he tucked him in; and with that he went into the other room and awaited the arrival of their guests.
They came punctually. The Countess was full of concern for the "dear Baron,'' while Lady Alicia, he could not help thinking, appeared unusually reserved.
"She has either been getting a lecture from the dowager or has found something out.'' he said to himself.
However, it seemed that if she had found anything out it could have nothing to do with the Baron's indisposition, for she displayed the most ingenuous sympathy, and, he thought, she even appeared to aim it pointedly at himself.
"So sudden!'' exclaimed the Countess.
"It is rather sudden, but we'll hope it may pass as quickly as it came,'' said Mr Bunker, conveying a skilful impression of deep concern veiled by a cheerful manner.
"Tell me honestly, Mr Bunker, is it dangerous?'' demanded the countess.
Mr Bunker hesitated, gave a half-hearted laugh, and replied, "Oh, dear, no! that is—at present, Lady Grillyer, we have really no reason to be alarmed.''
"I am so sorry,'' murmured Lady Alicia.
Her mother looked at her approvingly.
"Poor Baron!'' she said, in a tone of the greatest commiseration.
"So far from home!'' sighed Mr Bunker. "And yet so cheerful through it all,'' he added.
"What did you say was the matter?'' asked the Countess.
Mr Bunker had thought it both wiser and more effective to maintain a little mystery round his friend's malady.
"The doctor hasn't yet given a decided opinion,'' he replied.
"Can't we do anything?'' said Lady Alicia, softly.
Mr Bunker thought the guests were nearly worked up to the proper pitch of sympathy.
"Poor Rudolph!'' he exclaimed. "It would cheer him immensely, I know, and ease my own anxiety as well, if you would venture in to see him for a few minutes. In such a case there is no sympathy so welcome as a woman's.''
The Countess glanced at her daughter, and wavered for an instant between those proprieties for which she was a famous stickler and this admirable chance of completing the Baron's conquest.
"His relations are far away,'' said Mr Bunker, looking pensively out of the window.
"We might come in for a few minutes, Alicia?'' suggested Lady Grillyer.
"Yes, mamma,'' replied Lady Alicia, with an alacrity that rather surprised their host.
With a pleasantly dejected air he ushered the ladies into the darkened sick-room. The Baron, striving to conceal his exultation under a rueful semblance, greeted them with a languid yet happy smile.
"Ah, Lady Grillyer, zis is kind indeed! And you, Lady Alicia, how can I zank you?''
"My daughter and I are much distressed, Baron, to find our host hors de combat,'' said the Countess, graciously.
"Just when you wanted to go away too!'' added Lady Alicia, sympathetically.
The Baron emitted a happy blend of sigh and groan.
"Alas!'' he replied, "it is hard indeed.''
"You must hurry up and get better,'' said the Countess, in her most cheering sick-room manner. "It won't do to disappoint the Brierleys, you know.''
"You must come down for part of the time,'' smiled her daughter.
These expressions of sympathy so affected the Baron that he placed his hand on his brow and turned slightly away to conceal his emotion. At the same time Mr Bunker, with well-timed dramatic effect, sank wearily into a chair, and, laying his elbow on the back, hid his own face in his hand.
Their guests jumped to the most alarming conclusions, and looked from one to the other with great concern.
"Dear me!'' said the Countess, "surely it isn't so very serious, Mr Bunker; it isn't infectious, is it?''
The unlucky Baron here made his first mistake: without waiting for his more diplomatic friend to reply, he answered hastily, "Ach, no, it is bot a cold.''
Lady Grillyer's expression changed.
"A cold!'' she said. "Dear me, that can't be so very serious, Baron.''
"It is a bad cold,'' said the Baron.
By this time the ladies' eyes were growing more used to the dim light, and Mr Bunker could see that they were taking rapid stock of the garnishings.
"This, I suppose, is your cough-mixture,'' said the Countess, examining the bottle.
The Baron incautiously admitted it was.
"Two table-spoonfuls every half hour!'' she exclaimed;
"Ze doctor told me to take it so,'' replied the Baron.
The Countess turned towards Mr Bunker and said, with a touch of suspicion in her voice, "I thought, Mr Bunker, the doctor had given no opinion.''
The Baron threw a glance of intense ferocity at his friend.
"In the Baron's desire to spare your feelings,'' replied Mr Bunker, gravely, "he has been a little inaccurate; that is not precisely an ordinary cough-mixture.''
"Oh,'' said the Countess.
Lady Alicia's attention had been strongly attracted by the bath, and suddenly she exclaimed, "Why, there are goldfish in it!''
The Baron's nerve was fast deserting him.
"Ze doctor ordered zem,'' he began—"I mean, I am fond of fishes.''
The Countess looked hard at the unhappy young man, and then turned severely to his friend.
"What is the matter with the Baron?'' she demanded.
Mr Bunker saw there was nothing for it but heroic measures.
"The dog was destroyed at once,'' he replied, with intense gravity. "It is therefore impossible to say exactly what is the matter.''
"*The dog!'' cried the two ladies together.
"By this evening,'' he continued, "we shall know the worst—or the best.''
"What do you mean?'' exclaimed the Countess, withdrawing a step from the bed.
"I mean,'' replied Mr Bunker, with a happy inspiration, "that this bath is a delicate test. No victim of the dread disease of hydrophobia can bear to look—''
But the Countess gave him no time to finish. Even as he was speaking the Baron's face had passed through a series of the most extraordinary expressions, which she not unnaturally put down to premonitory symptoms.
"It's beginning already!'' she shrieked. "Alicia, my love, come quickly. How dare you expose us, sir?''
"Calm yourselves. I assure you—'' pleaded Mr Bunker, coming hastily after them, but they were at the door before him.
The hapless Baron could stand it no longer. Crying, "No, no, it is false!'' he sprang out of bed, arrayed in a tweed suit only half concealed by his night-shirt, and, forgetting all about the bath, descended with a great splash among the startled goldfish.
The Countess paused in the half-opened door and looked at him with horror that rapidly passed into intense indignation.
"I am not ill!'' he cried. "It vos zat rascal Bonker's plot. He made me! I haf not hydrophobia!''
Most unkindest cut of all, Lady Alicia went off into hysterical giggles. For a moment her mother glared at the two young men in silence, and then only remarking, "I have never been so insulted before,'' she went out, and her daughter followed her.
As the door closed Mr Bunker went off into roar after
"You rascal! you villain!'' he shouted, "zis is ze end of our friendship, Bonker! Do you use ze pistols? Tell me, sare!''
"My dear Baron,'' gasped Mr Bunker, "I could not put such an inartistic end to so fine a joke for the world.''
"You vill not fight? Coward! poltroon! I know not ze English name bad enoff for you!''
With difficulty Mr Bunker composed himself and replied, still smiling: "After all, Baron, what harm has been done? I get all the blame, and the sympathy you wanted is sure to turn to you.''
"False friend!'' thundered the Baron.
"My dear Baron!'' said Mr Bunker, mildly, "whose fault was it that the plot miscarried? If you'd only left it all to me—''
"Left it to you! Yes, I left too moch to you! Traitor, it vas a trick to vin ze Lady Alicia for yourself! Speak to me nevermore!'' And with that the infuriated nobleman rushed off to his own room.
As there was no further sign of him for the next half hour, Mr Bunker, still smiling to himself at the recollection, went out to take the air; but just as he was about to descend the stairs he spied Lady Alicia lingering in a passage. He turned back and went up to her.
She began at once in a low, hurried voice that seemed to have a strain of anger running beneath it.
"I got the two letters I wrote you returned to me to-
"I am not surprised,'' he replied.
"Then it was false?''
"As an address it was perfectly genuine, only it didn't happen to be mine.''
"Were you ever in the Church?''
"Not to my personal knowledge.''
"Yet you said you were?''
"I was in an asylum.''
She looked up at him with fine contempt, while he smiled back at her with great amusement.
"You have deceived me,'' she said, "and you have treated your other friend—who is far too good for you— disgracefully. Have you anything to say for yourself?''
"Not a word,'' he replied, cheerfully.
"You must never treat me again as—as I let you.''
As a smile played for an instant about his face, she added quickly, "I don't suppose I shall ever see you again. In future we are not likely to meet.''
"The lady and the lunatic?'' said he. "Well, perhaps not. Good-bye, and better luck.''
"Good-bye,'' she answered coldly, and added as they parted, "my mother, of course, is extremely angry with you.''
"There,'' he said with a smile, "you see I still come in useful.''
She hurried away, and Mr Bunker walked slowly downstairs and out of the hotel.
"It seems to me,'' he reflected, "that I shall have to set out on my adventures again alone.''
| CHAPTER V. The Lunatic At Large | |