 | The Ingoldsby Lyrics |  |
A New Song to an Old Tune.
BEING A FULL, TRUE, AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF A CERTAIN “TIGHT LITTLE ADMINISTRATION” THAT WAS LOST IN A FOG OFF THE COAST OF BRIGHTON, ON FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1834, AND HAS NEVER BEEN HEARD OF SINCE.
Dandy Melborne one day
Said to sage Gaffer Grey,
“We must now hold a grand consul-tation;
Since Spencer's ‘gone dead,’
We shall want a new head
To conduct the affairs of the nation;
For now he's got this elevation,
Althorp can't keep his old situ-ation,
And where's the three-decker
Can take the Exchequer,
In our tight little Adminis-tration?
Said to sage Gaffer Grey,
“We must now hold a grand consul-tation;
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We shall want a new head
To conduct the affairs of the nation;
For now he's got this elevation,
Althorp can't keep his old situ-ation,
And where's the three-decker
Can take the Exchequer,
In our tight little Adminis-tration?
“As for Durham, you know,
He's been down to Glasgow,
And made an infernal o-ration,
Calling all or us ‘fools,’
And ‘rogues’ and ‘Brougham's tools’
(To that Peer's no small morti-fication);
And since that great Illumin-ation
Of the Law, meets such vituper-ation
From your son-in-law; he
As your Lordship must see,
Can't be one of our Adminis-tration.
He's been down to Glasgow,
And made an infernal o-ration,
Calling all or us ‘fools,’
And ‘rogues’ and ‘Brougham's tools’
(To that Peer's no small morti-fication);
And since that great Illumin-ation
Of the Law, meets such vituper-ation
From your son-in-law; he
As your Lordship must see,
Can't be one of our Adminis-tration.
Edward Littleton, too,
Would, I fear, never do,
Though we might, as to mere calcu-lation,
Send for Bowring from France,
To teach him finance,
And subtraction, and multipli-cation;
But you know what a sad pertur-bation
He occasioned our Associ-ation
By that business with Dan,
Which demolished the man
As a part of our Adminis-tration.
Would, I fear, never do,
Though we might, as to mere calcu-lation,
Send for Bowring from France,
To teach him finance,
And subtraction, and multipli-cation;
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He occasioned our Associ-ation
By that business with Dan,
Which demolished the man
As a part of our Adminis-tration.
“There's that Scotch Abercromby
May, it's fancied by some, be
Possess'd of a qualifi-cation;
His return, to be sure,
Is pretty secure,
And that's no small consider-ation;
For since in her old corpor-ation
We've produced such transmogrifi-cation,
With his tongue in his cheek, he
May blarney Auld Reekie,
And humbug her whole popu-lation.
May, it's fancied by some, be
Possess'd of a qualifi-cation;
His return, to be sure,
Is pretty secure,
And that's no small consider-ation;
For since in her old corpor-ation
We've produced such transmogrifi-cation,
With his tongue in his cheek, he
May blarney Auld Reekie,
And humbug her whole popu-lation.
“But then, there's Ned Ellice,
You know, would be jealous,
That rose-bud of civili-zation;
Though the Tories defame him
And grossly nick-name him,
Which causes him great tribu-lation—
Yet why should it give him vex-ation!
Ursa Major's a prime constel-lation,
And who dares declare
Him the only ‘Great Bear’
To be found in our Adminis-tration?
You know, would be jealous,
That rose-bud of civili-zation;
Though the Tories defame him
And grossly nick-name him,
Which causes him great tribu-lation—
Yet why should it give him vex-ation!
Ursa Major's a prime constel-lation,
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Him the only ‘Great Bear’
To be found in our Adminis-tration?
“As to little John Russell,
Who's in such a bustle
To put us to farther ‘pur-gation,’
With his ‘Ballot’ and nonsense,
We cannot, in conscience,
Consent to such gross inno-vation.
We must all view with great constern-ation,
A seat of but three years' dur-ation;
The King and the Church
We can leave in the lurch,
But we can't leave our Adminis-tration.
Who's in such a bustle
To put us to farther ‘pur-gation,’
With his ‘Ballot’ and nonsense,
We cannot, in conscience,
Consent to such gross inno-vation.
We must all view with great constern-ation,
A seat of but three years' dur-ation;
The King and the Church
We can leave in the lurch,
But we can't leave our Adminis-tration.
“Stay! by Jingo, I've caught
What you'll own's a bright thought,
Unless I've lost all pene-tration—
I'll be off in a trice,
And take with me Spring Rice,
To propose for the King's appro-bation!
When once I've made this presen-tation,
There's an end to our whole bother-ation;
And no longer sticks
In this ‘tarnation fix’
Our rickety Adminis-tration.”
What you'll own's a bright thought,
Unless I've lost all pene-tration—
I'll be off in a trice,
And take with me Spring Rice,
To propose for the King's appro-bation!
When once I've made this presen-tation,
There's an end to our whole bother-ation;
And no longer sticks
In this ‘tarnation fix’
Our rickety Adminis-tration.”
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Jumping into a chaise
('Twas an old hack of Grey's),
Melly dropped here this grave conver-sation,
And bade the postillion
Drive towards “the Pavilion”
Without further procrasti-nation:
But conceive our poor friend's desper-ation,
When, in answer to this appli-cation,
Turning coolly about,
Said the Sov'reign “You're out!
And I'll form a new Adminis-tration!”
('Twas an old hack of Grey's),
Melly dropped here this grave conver-sation,
And bade the postillion
Drive towards “the Pavilion”
Without further procrasti-nation:
But conceive our poor friend's desper-ation,
When, in answer to this appli-cation,
Turning coolly about,
Said the Sov'reign “You're out!
And I'll form a new Adminis-tration!”
Alas! and alack!
When his Lordship got back,
Only fancy the cold perspir-ation
The Whigs were all in,
When they heard where he'd been,
And his journey's abrupt termi-nation.
Holland House, at the first intim-ation,
Became one scene of sad lamen-tation!
A succession of fits
Turn'd poor Palmerston's wits,
And produced mental halluci-nation.
When his Lordship got back,
Only fancy the cold perspir-ation
The Whigs were all in,
When they heard where he'd been,
And his journey's abrupt termi-nation.
Holland House, at the first intim-ation,
Became one scene of sad lamen-tation!
A succession of fits
Turn'd poor Palmerston's wits,
And produced mental halluci-nation.
Then in Great Stanhope-street
The confusion was great
In a certain superb habi-tation,
Where, seated at tea,
O'er a dish of Bohea,
Brougham was quaffing his “usual po-tation.”
(For you know his indignant ne-gation,
When accused once of jollific-ation)—
Down went saucer and cup,
Which Le Marchant picked up,
Not to hear his Lord mutter “d—n-ation!”
The confusion was great
In a certain superb habi-tation,
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O'er a dish of Bohea,
Brougham was quaffing his “usual po-tation.”
(For you know his indignant ne-gation,
When accused once of jollific-ation)—
Down went saucer and cup,
Which Le Marchant picked up,
Not to hear his Lord mutter “d—n-ation!”
But this greatest of men
Soon caught hold of a pen,
And, after slight delibe-ration,
No longer he tosses
His flexile proboscis
About, in so much exci-tation;
But, scribbling with great ani-mation,
He sends off a communi-cation:
“Dearest Lyndhurst,” says he,
“Can't you find room for me
When constructing your Adminis-tration?
Soon caught hold of a pen,
And, after slight delibe-ration,
No longer he tosses
His flexile proboscis
About, in so much exci-tation;
But, scribbling with great ani-mation,
He sends off a communi-cation:
“Dearest Lyndhurst,” says he,
“Can't you find room for me
When constructing your Adminis-tration?
“Though the ‘Times’ says I'm mad,
And each rascally Rad
Abuses my tergiver-sation—
Though those humbugs, the Whigs,
Swear that my ‘Thimble-rigs’
Were the cause of all their vacill-ation;
The whole story's a base fabri-cation
To damage my great reputa-tion;
So now, to be brief,
Only make me Lord Chief,
And I'll serve without remuner-ation!”
And each rascally Rad
Abuses my tergiver-sation—
Though those humbugs, the Whigs,
Swear that my ‘Thimble-rigs’
Were the cause of all their vacill-ation;
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To damage my great reputa-tion;
So now, to be brief,
Only make me Lord Chief,
And I'll serve without remuner-ation!”
When he found 'twas “no go,”
And that Lyndhurst and Co.
Were deaf to all solicit-ation,
As 'twas useless with Lyndy
To kick up a shindy,
He resolved upon peregrin-ation;
Not waiting for much prepa-ration,
He bolted with precipi-tation
A sad loss I ween,
To Charles Knight's Magazine,
And to Stinkomalee edu-cation!
And that Lyndhurst and Co.
Were deaf to all solicit-ation,
As 'twas useless with Lyndy
To kick up a shindy,
He resolved upon peregrin-ation;
Not waiting for much prepa-ration,
He bolted with precipi-tation
A sad loss I ween,
To Charles Knight's Magazine,
And to Stinkomalee edu-cation!
So now that the Noodles,
The Doodles, and Foodles
Of the Radico-Whig combination
Are off, and the Realm
Has sound men at the helm,
Let us give them full co-operation!
Superior to intimi-dation,
May they free us from mere mob-dictation.
Till her Altar and Throne
Grateful England shall own,
Preserv'd by Peel's Adminis-tration!
The Doodles, and Foodles
Of the Radico-Whig combination
Are off, and the Realm
Has sound men at the helm,
Let us give them full co-operation!
Superior to intimi-dation,
May they free us from mere mob-dictation.
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Grateful England shall own,
Preserv'd by Peel's Adminis-tration!
| The Ingoldsby Lyrics | |