University of Virginia Library

'Father Knows Best'

Shall we adjust him to some
special narrow view of the world or
pet value that we espouse? Remember,
many people are only too glad
to thrust the burden of their
decision upon others and the
temptation to play "Father knows
best" is very great.

In fact, we attempt to convey
by our behavior the following basic
assumptions:

1. A human being is an energy
transforming organism who strives
all of his life to avoid pain and
anxiety and to enhance his sense of
self actualization.

2. A human being is born
worthwhile, lovable, and fallible.

Beyond the transmission of
those values our task is oriented
toward developing an atmosphere
wherein the person may drop the
armor of his defenses that have
protected aspects of the "vital lie" I
mentioned earlier. Every effort is
made to allow the person to
examine himself, his world, the
meanings he has given both of
them, and the feelings he has about
those perceptions. He is encouraged
to suggest behavioral changes that
he might want to make - he is
encouraged to check assumptions
he has made about himself and
others but never tested. All of this
is done in a relationship which says
loud and clear "I respect you." You
are the one most capable of
determining the course of your own
life. I accept you as you are. If you
can accept yourself as you are,
acknowledging all of your behavior
and feelings as you find them, you
are enhancing your capabilities to
live a full life within the limits of
your powers and external circumstances.

Thus, the question of leading a
meaningful existence remains in the
hands of the individual, who, as a
self-accepting person, relatively free
of the burdens of defensive
behavior, can more accurately imbue
or create importance and
significance for his life. He has
begun a journey into the center of
himself - it is long, often painful,
but vital to living a full life.