University of Virginia Library

SCENE VI.

Enter PERIPLECTOMENES advancing with ACROTELEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA, at a distant Part of the Stage.
Within have I explain'd this whole affair
To you, Acroteleutium, and to you,
My Milphidippa;—and if our device
Ye comprehend but slightly, I could wish
Ye were again instructed in't more throughly;
But if sufficiently ye understand it,
There's other matter we may rather talk of.

Acr.
'Twould be a folly in me, and the height
Of ignorance, to undertake a work,
Or promise my assistance, if I knew not
How to acquit me in the business.

Per.
Yet
'Tis best to be advised.

Acr.
Advise an harlot!
What that imports, to me is yet a secret.
But I do wrong myself, letting my ears
Drink your discourse in dull delay.—I've told you,
How we may hew this block here of a captain.

Per.
Two heads are better, as they say, than one.—
But many, I have often known, avoid
Advice, sooner than find it.

Acr.
Trust a woman,—
If she has any mischief to promote,
I warrant, she'll remember;—in that point
Her memory is immortal, everlasting:—
If any thing is to be done by them
Or good or honest,—so it happens, strait
They grow forgetful, and they can't remember.

Per.
Therefore I fear th'event of our proceedings,
Seeing the injury ye do the captain,
Will be to my advantage.

Acr.
Never fear:—
Whatever good we chance to do, we do
Unwittingly.—No harlot but is ready,
When mischief is on foot.

Per.
Your very character.—
Come, follow me.

Pal.
Why don't I go and meet them?
(Advancing.)
Sir, I am glad to see you.—By my troth
She's admirably drest.

Per.
Well met, Palæstrio,—
Most opportunely.—Here they are, the women
You bade me bring, and drest as you required.

Per.
Be one of us.—Palæstrio salutes
Acroteleutium.

Acr.
Prithee, who is this,
That calls me so familiar by my name,
As if he knew me?

Per.
He's our master-plotter.

Acr.
Your servant, master-plotter!

Pal.
I am your's.—
But tell me, has he giv'n you full instructions?

Per.
I've brought them both well studied in their parts.

Pal.
Fain would I hear as how; for I'm afraid,
Lest ye should err in any point.

Per.
I've only
Retail'd your precepts:—nothing have I added
New of myself.

Acr.
Is it your will forsooth,
The captain should be play'd on?

Pal.
You have said it.

Acr.
We are prepar'd with cunning and address.

Pal.
And you must feign yourself His wife.

Acr.
I shall.

Pal.
And that you've set your heart upon the captain.

Acr.
'Twill so fall out.

Pal.
And the affair shall seem
As carried on betwixt your maid and me.—

Acr.
Well, surely you may set up for a prophet,
Since you divine so rarely what will happen.—

Pal.
And further—that she brought this ring from you,
For me to give the captain in your name.

Acr.
Right,—you say true.

Per.
What needs there repetition,
When they so well remember?

Acr.
It is best.—
For think you this, my patron: When the ship-wright,
If he has skill, has once laid down the keel,
Exact to line and measure, it is easy
To build the ship thus laid and tightly founded.—
Our keel's already laid and tightly founded;—
Our workmen are at hand,—procur'd by me,
By you,—and not unskilful: now if he,
Who furnishes the timber, don't retard us,
I know our skill,—our ship will soon be ready.

Pal.
Pray, do you know my master?

Acr.
It is strange,
That you should ask me.—What! must I not know
The scorn of every one? an empty Braggard,
A wenching, perfum'd, frizzle-pated fellow.

Pal.
And does he know you too?

Acr.
He never saw me;—
How should he know me then, or who I am?

Pal.
That's rare;—our project will succeed most rarely.

Acr.
Give me the man, be quiet for the rest;
And if I do not play him such a game,—
Lay the whole blame on me.

Per.
Well, go you in then.
Be mindful of your business.

Acr.
Never fear us.

Pal.
Do you conduct them in, Sir.—I'll go meet
My master at the Forum, with this ring
Present him, say 'twas giv'n me from your wife,
And that she's dying for him.—When that we
Return, let Milphidippa come to us,
As though she were dispatch'd to me in private.

Per.
We'll do so—never fear us.

Pal.
You'll take care then.
I'll bring him hither loaded like a pack-ass.

Per.
Now luck go with you! manage well this business.
(To Acr.)
But should it be effected, that my guest
Shall gain the captain's mistress, and depart
For Athens with her,—should our trick succeed,
What present must I make you?

Acr.
You shall promise
To love no other woman but myself.

Pal.
Most sweetly said.

Acr.
I trust we shall succeed.
When all our cunning is combin'd together,
I have no fear, that we shall be o'er-match'd
In subtlety and fraud.

Per.
Then let us in,
And weigh our counsels deeply in our thoughts,
That we may act with caution, lest the captain,
When he returns, in ought should find us tripping.

Acr.
Come, come, you but delay us with your prattle.

[Periplectomenes goes in with the women, and Palæstrio goes off.