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Stultifera Navis

or, The Modern Ship of Fools [by S. W. H. Ireland]
  

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 XXVIII. 
SECTION XXVIII. OF FOOLISH SCOFFERS AND BACKBITERS.
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114

SECTION XXVIII. OF FOOLISH SCOFFERS AND BACKBITERS.

Si nous n'avions point de defauts, nous ne prendrions pas tant de plaisir a en remarquer dans les autres.

Some fools I've heard, whose wicked wit,
Hath levell'd been 'gainst virtue's fame;
But when they thought the goal to hit,
The shaft rebounded to their shame.
For oft derision's laugh hath yielded place,
To silly shame, so fitting folly's face.

115

Show me the man, who feels endu'd,
With mind so matchless as to say;
“I may insult with laughter rude;
All others' faults, none dares say nay,
'Till such an one shall bless the human race,
The scoffer shall but seal his own disgrace.
Others there are so prone to spite,
That, if they cannot faults descry,
They still must churlish strive to bite,
And wound by telling some mean lie,
Which when discover'd, truth resumes her place.
And triumph's banish'd from the liar's face.

116

Full oft we find such vile deceit,
Upon itself a curse bestow;
For when expected least 'twill meet,
In him bely'd a deadly foe.
In vain repentance comes; how chang'd his case,
He laughs—but on the wrong side of his face!

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

If you your scoffing and your wit must deal,
And backbite, to ensure the praise of fools;
Take special care, for ten to one you'll feel,
How dang'rous 'tis to battle with edge tools.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis,
Crowds flock to man my Stultifera Navis.
 

There is no vice more prevalent than the above, which, not content with slandering, where perhaps the lash is in some degree merited, will equally attack those whose lives are the most irreproachable; for, according to the French proverb, La moitiè du monde prend plaisir a medire, & lautre motiè a croire les medisances; which acts as a sufficient incentive to the garrulity of this class of fools. Yet howsoever the slanderer may conceive himself secure, danger will frequently attend this cacoethes loquendi, for none are more tenacious than those who feel convinced of their own integrity; and it should be remembered, that, “Fame damna majora, quam quæ estimari possuit;” let the fool therefore be prepared for the worst, whose pleasure consists in defamation. I had nearly forgotten to instance one set of men, who, although they pride themselves on their abilities, are notwithstanding the most determined advocates for this species of folly, by which I allude to the occupants of the opposition Bench in the House of Commons; who, while out of place, braud with every opprobrious epithet the very men and measures which they will the next day extol to the very skies, if taken into ministerial favour.