University of Virginia Library

VARIATION IV.

Apology for Piracy and other Pleasantries.

There was a man once, called Paul Jones,
In seventeen hundred eighty-six,
Or thereabouts; who sail'd the zones,
Playing strange free and easy tricks;

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Sir Gorman like, a pirate he,
A sort of highwayman at sea.
His mother, who from Scotia came,
Was told her son was much to blame;
She snuff'd and answered “troth mon, how?
“The chield's in honest track I trow;
“Aw's clishmaclaver may be said,
“The bairn mun get a wee bit bread.”
This is the reason often given
Why many a roguery has thriven:
Hence minor authors pirate major;
The smuggler hence out-wits the gauger;
For this the sophist steals our senses
By tricksy truths and pert pretences;
For this the soi-disant reformer
Becomes of sacred holds a stormer;
For this, too, many a canting wretch
Fabricates, with trick and fetch,

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A code of laws, and calls 'em God's,
'Gainst which might Mah'met lay the odds;
For this, too, fiends, like great Voltaire —
(Great little man! of pride's worst lair;
In genius shining 'bove his peers,
In grace decrepid as in years;
Who damn'd the pow'rs by God's grace given
By, Titan-like, attacking heaven;
And yet not Titan-like, declining
Open attack for undermining;
His Helicon mad Folly's Fountain —
A mite would undermine a mountain!—)
For this, like Voltaire, many a fool
Has called in question Christian rule;
Assum'd a why for every wherefore,
With blind “because,” and stumbling “therefore;”
All plainly proving, while they flout it,
They know no single thing about it;

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And ask you why these cheats and drones
Are suffered?—Answer, Mrs. Jones:
“Aw's clishmaclaver may be said,
The bairns mun get a wee bit bread;”
Tho' in the stale, but shrew'd retort,
“I really see no reason for't.”
Why did I write? it may be said;
I only plead — “a wee bit bread;”
And if “no reason for't” you see,
Why should that reason prove to me?
But much I fear our mincing taste
May argue elegance disgrac'd
By this rude metre; pardon, pray!
My Pegasus, with ears distended,
Haply from Balaam's is descended;
And native asinine note's bray.
Still if to fine ears there's offence in't,
There's some degree of common sense in't —
Not in my verse — I mean in braying,
Which is, tho' coarse, pure nature's saying;
And Nature, unsophisticated
Reason yet never under-rated.

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Taste, who contemns it is — a brute —
Refinement, who its worth dispute
Scout 'em — yet glossy is not grac'd;
Nor is fastidiousness fine taste:
The spreading oak and poplar spare
Show what we are, and what we were.
See, by some stream, a graceful show
Of towering poplars; to and fro
Waving, like birth day plumes of pride,
Bowing discreetly to the tide,
Their flatt'ring mirror; while there plac'd
The stream they, by absorption, waste;
And by their blighting pow'r confound
The soul of vegetation round;
Mere weed and water, soon they drop,
And, turn'd, augment the toyman's shop.
The native oak, like freedom's form,
Stands ever struggling with the storm;
No evil spreads, yet shows the eye
The picturesque of dignity;
Its clustering boughs a shelter spread,
And awful honour crowns its head;

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Friend through a life which ages boasts,
When fell'd, the bulwark of our coasts.
But of our tale if more you'd learn,
On — to the God-send we return.
 

Paul Jones was a celebrated naval adventurer in the time of the American war: he was a most brave and daring man, an excellent seaman, and a good officer; he was born at Selkirk in Scotland; but, proving a traitor to his country, fought under the Ameriean flag, and committed many depredations. He died at Paris in 1792. I have rather taken a liberty in calling him a pirate; though he was generally considered so at the time of his numerous and remarkable exploits. The anecdote related of his mother I met with in an old newspaper.

There are many evidences in Voltaire's writings of insidious attempts to bring into contempt the Christian religion; and it has been said that he joined with Frederick the Great, D'Alembert, Diderot, and Condorcet, to undermine it.

The commonly received opinion is, that the oak does not arrive at its prime under 100 years, continues 100 before it begins to decay, and is 100 in decaying. — Its longevity is unquestionable.