After reading the November 5,
1970 issue of The Cavalier Daily
and Stuart Pape's article "How To
Fight Surly Old Newcomb Hall," I
can only draw the conclusion that I
have been poorly instructed as to
how to criticize University life.
Thank you, Mr. Pape, for
enlightening me.
I now realize that all women
over 60 must not be allowed on the
Grounds of this school, because
they make the school look so
dreary and old-fashioned. Let's
hope that Mr. Pape's mother is
under 60, since he shows such a
pronounced aversion to old women.
Thank you, too, Mr. Pape, for
showing me so vividly the quality
of the food I have been eating at
The Grill. Since the hamburgers and
three days old and the French fries
soggy, I feel obliged to come by
and sample your culinary arts
soon. Oh, and those lines at The
Grill, they are horrendous! Why I
once remember waiting 10 minutes
to get a meal. But what will Mr.
Pape do now that his truck stop in
Ruckersville has burned down?
Mr. Pape's artistic sense is quite
alive, too. He manages to show me
that Newcomb is an antiquated
building, with antiquated facilities,
poorly placed pictures, and, worse
yet, institutional walls. Yes,
institutional walls!
So why don't we all see where
we can get some money (just
borrow it anywhere if you must) so
we can tear down Newcomb Hall
and rebuild it? Better yet, why not
tear down the whole school,
borrow even more money, and
build the whole place over again?
With all the ideas Mr. Pape has for
this much-needed renovation, I
propose we call it Pape University.
So put that in your Pape and smoke
it.
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