26. XXVI.
VISITS VALLANDIGHAM.
Church uv St. Vallandigum, July the 27th, 1863.
I hev jest returned from a visit to our persekootid
saint, Vallandigum. The marter wuz
holdin a resepshun at the Clifton House wen I
arrove. He caught site uv me ez soon ez I entered
the room, and he rusht in2 my arms, and
droopin his head on2 my heavin buzm, weept
aloud:
“Marterd saint!” sez I, with a voice tremulous
with emoshen.
“Sufferer fer truth!” sez he; and then this
trooly grate man whispered, “Jest keep in this
posishn a minnit—the artist uv the Noo York
Illustratid Flapdoodle is makin a sketch uv us;”
wich we did, standin locked in2 each other's arms,
and weepin profoosely fer 15 minits. It wuz exhaustin
and tiresum, but fer the cause I endoord
it. The picter will appear in next week's Flapdoodle,
headed “The 2 Grate Minds uv the Age!
Affecting meeting uv Vallandigum and Nasby!”
The matter akompnyin the picter will be written
by Vallandigum and myself—he writin wat relates
[ILLUSTRATION]
NASBY VISITS VALLANDIGHAM. — PAGE 102.
[Description: 631EAF. Illustration page. Illustration of Nasby and another man in a bar. A man with a bottle and glasses on a tray stands behind them.]
2 hisself, and I wat relates 2 myself. We kin
do ourselves justis. After the Eastern delegashen
hed gone thro the cerrymony uv kissin his
feet, wich cleaned em, he dismist em, and we wuz
alone.
“Nasby,” says the great C. L., “how is things
in my nativ state?”
“Squally,” sez I.
“Wat wuz the pervalin sentiment uv the people
as to my eggsile?”
“They wuz extremely glad uv it.”
“The akount uv my prostrashen—my untold
suffrins, et settry, wich I hed publisht in the papers;
did that not affect them?”
“Yes; they left.”
“Did not the affectin akount uv the wife uv my
buzm and my cherub babes a jinin me here, 2
share my lonely eggsile, move em?”
“Nary move.”
“Nasby, the peeple is stun. But I 'll fetch em.
`Nil despritrando' is my motto.”
After a few moments uv profound silence, he
resoomd:
“I must be guvner, fer how else kin we prevent
the subjugashen uv the Dimekratik staits?
Elect me, and therd be no trouble about drafts,
onless we shood git involved in a war with the
United States. The Confederacy wood be recognized,
Ohio wood go with the South, and slavery
wood be interdoost, and as we woodent hev eny
further use fer em, poor men woodent be allowed
to vote, making me perpetooal guvner. Nasby,
we must succeed.”
“Certainly. But we 're in a tite plais. Our
speekers is embarist. It takes a gigantik intellek
to bring the pints 2gether. A anicdote: A
spritely boy wunst put 200 eggs in a nest for a
hen to set on. Sez his maternal mother:
“`My son, why puttist thou so many eggs under
the hen? She canst not kiver em.'
“`Certinly she canst not; but, thunder! I want
to see her spread herself.'
“Jest so. Our speakers is in the same fix. The
outside egg in the Dimekratik nest is opposition
to the war. Tother side uv the nest, 200 eggs distant,
is the support uv the war. To kiver em all
requires great stretchin capacity.”
“Troo, 2 troo. But we must mix it, and trust to
luck. In loyal counties, stuff em with dilooted
patriotism; in OUR counties, pure secesh. The
people is jest ez gullible now ez ever they wuz.”
I left the patriot and sage much comforted.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
