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The most elegant and witty epigrams of Sir Iohn Harrington

... digested into fovre bookes: three whereof neuer before published
Harington, John (1560-1612)

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THE EPISTLE TO ALL Readers, that Epigrams must bee read attentiuely, that Legere & non intellegere, est negligere.
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[dedication]
expand section1. 
Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the first Booke.
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Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the second Booke.
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Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the third Booke.
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Sir Iohn Harringtons Epigrams, the fourth Booke.
 1. 
1 To an ill Reader.
 2. 
2 In lectorem inuidum.
 3. 
3 Of Table friends.
 4. 
4 The Authour to his wife, of partition.
 5. 
5 Of Treason.
 6. 
6 Of the warres in Ireland.
 7. 
7 Of Women learned in the tongues.
 8. 
8 The Author to his wife, of the twelue Signes, how they gouerne.
 9. 
9 Against Swearing.
 10. 
10 Of little pitie.
 11. 
11 Of a Booke called the Gentle Craft.
 12. 
12 Of the games that haue beene in request at the Court.
 13. 
13 The Author to Queene Elizabeth, in praise of her reading.
 14. 
14 Of King Henries wooing.
 15. 
15 Two witty answers of Bishop Bonner.
 16. 
16 Of Lynus borrowing.
 17. 
17 A good answere of the Poet Dant to an Atheist.
 18. 
18 Of Quintus almes.
 19. 
19 Of Marcus his drunken feasting.
 20. 
20 A good iest of a Crow.
 21. 
21 Of kissing the foote.
 22. 
22 Of a sawcy Cator.
 23. 
23 Of a certaine Man.
 24. 
24 Of Lesbia.
 25. 
25 The horne Cinque-apace.
 26. 
26 Of cursing Cuckolds.
 27. 
27 Of the pillars of the Church.
 28. 
28 Of Exchange.
 29. 
29 Of Lesbias kissing craft.
 30. 
30 Of sixe sorts of Fasters.
 31. 
31 Of Cinna.
 32. 
32 Of Claudia.
 33. 
33 A rule to Play.
 34. 
34 Of a drunken Tobacconist.
 35. 
35 Tristis es & fœlix, sciat hoc fortuna Caueto.
 36. 
36 A Salisbury tale.
 37. 
37 Of a faire Shrew.
 38. 
38 Of Gods part.
 39. 
39 Of Lalus symoniacall horse-coursing.
 40. 
40 An addition to the same Epigram.
 41. 
41 Of Cinna.
 42. 
42 Of bagge and baggage.
 43. 
43 Of a womans kindnes to her husband.
 44. 
44 Of Don Pedro.
 45. 
45 The Author to his wife.
 46. 
46 Of Lelia.
 47. 
47 Of a drunken Smith.
 48. 
48 Of Soothsaying.
 49. 
49 A good request of a Lawyer.
 50. 
50 Of Friendship.
 51. 
51 Of Caius increase in his absence.
 52. 
52 Of a toothlesse Shrew.
 53. 
53 To Doctor Sharpe.
 54. 
54 Of the Papists Feasts, and the Brownists Fasts.
 55. 
55 Of Mile the glutton.
 56. 
56 Of Fortune.
 57. 
57 Of deuotion and promotion.
 58. 
58 Of a painted Lady.
 59. 
59 Of Galla's gallantry.
 60. 
60 In Cornutum.
 61. 
61 Of Paulus, a Flatterer.
 62. 
62 Of Lynus, an ill ghest.
 63. 
63 Against Pius Quintus, that excommunicated Queene Elizabeth.
 64. 
64 Of finding a Hare.
 65. 
65 Of Merit, and Demerit.
 66. 
66 Of Faustus, Esquire.
 67. 
67 Of Peleus friendship.
 68. 
68 Of inclosing a Common.
 69. 
69 The Author to his wife, of too much stomack.
 70. 
70 A witty choice of a Country fellow.
 71. 
71 To a great Magistrate, in Re and in Spe.
 72. 
72 A comparison of a Booke, with Cheese.
 73. 
73 A Scottish verse.
 74. 
74 To beggers of Bookes.
 75. 
75 In Paulum Athaium.
 76. 
76 Of double Fraud.
 77. 
77 Of taking a Hare.
 78. 
78 The Author to his Wife.
 79. 
79 Of too high commendation in a meane person.
 80. 
80 Of trusting a Captaine.
 81. 
81 In Cornutum.
 82. 
82 A Tragicall Epigram.
 83. 
83 Of reading Scriptures.
 84. 
84 The Author to his wife: a rule for praying.
 85. 
85 Pœnitentia pœnitenda: Of a penitent Fryer.
 86. 
86 Of a picture with a Ferriman rowing in a tempest, with two Ladies in his boate, whereof he loued one, but she disdained him, and the other loued him, but he not her: now a voice came to his eare, that to saue his boate from beeing cast away, hee must drowne one of the Ladies: in which perplexitie hee speaketh these passions.
 87. 
87 The old mans choice.
 88. 
88 In Philautum.
 89. 
89 To an old Batchelor.
 90. 
90 Of two that were married and vndone.
 91. 
91 In commendation of a straw, written at the request of a great Lady, that ware a straw Hat at the Court.
 92. 
92 In Romam.

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86 Of a picture with a Ferriman rowing in a tempest, with two Ladies in his boate, whereof he loued one, but she disdained him, and the other loued him, but he not her: now a voice came to his eare, that to saue his boate from beeing cast away, hee must drowne one of the Ladies: in which perplexitie hee speaketh these passions.

In troublous seas of loue, my tender bote,
By Fates decree, is still tost vp and downe,
Ready to sinke, and may no longer flote,
Except of these two Damsels one I drowne.
I would saue both: but ah, that may not be:
I loue the tone, the tother loueth me.
Heere the vast waues are ready me to swallow.
There danger is to strike vpon the shelfe.
Doubtfull I swim betweene the deepe and shallow,
To saue th'vngrate, and be vngrate my selfe.
Thus seeme I by the eares to hold a wolfe,
While faine I would eschue this gaping gulfe.

But since loues actions, guided are by passion,
And quenching doth augment her burning fuell,
Adieu, thou Nimph, deseruing most compassion,
To merit mercy, I must shew me cruell.
Aske you me why? oh question out of season!
Loue neuer leisure hath to render reason.
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