University of Virginia Library

EPISTLE to the Reverend Philosarchus Minister of the Kirk of Scotland, occasioned by his late Essay, proving the Lawfulness of FORNICATION.

Te duce, si qua manent sceleris vestigia nostri,
Irrita perpetua solvent formidine terras.
Virg.

How much, O Pastor, do we owe
Thy Pains and Piety,
Which covers thus our numerous Crimes,
And our Iniquity!
What Honours wait to crown thy Brow
And make thy Heart right glad!
Bastards unborn shall lisp thy Praise,
And Foundlings call thee Dad.
Thou like another Saturn bringst
The Golden Age again;
Sinners no more shall curse the Land,
Where 'tis no sin to sin.
O had I OVID'S wondrous Quill
Such Change to represent;
When every Saint shall Sinner turn,
And every Sinner Saint.

135

Then shall no paultry pocky House
In Closs or Cowgate be:
In Turnpike Foot none shall make Love,
But all shall flock to thee.
Thy Pulpit-Desk, Repenting-stool,
Each Gallery, Pew and Seat,
Shall all promote the glorious End,
And serve to prop the State.
The Treasurer of the Kirk, who now
Behaves himself but queerish,
Shall join his Man with one Accord,
And pimp it for the Parish.
Nor shall the Minister, good Man,
His Stipend lose or Kirk,
Let it be his to say the Grace,
And oversee the Work.
When this thou seest, then thou shalt see,
My Friend, what thou shalt see;
Powder'd Toupees shall grace the Kirk,
And Lords religious be.
None shall be to thy Church compell'd,
They'll come without obliging;
Papists and Jews shall change their Minds,
And be of our Religion.
Ye Bedrals eke, O hungry Wights,
Your Grumbling shall give o'er;
Silver and Gold your Palms shall grease,
Where Copper serv'd before.

136

O let not these, most pious Priest,
Alone imploy thy Care;
Sinners in Crowds of highest Rank
Aloud demand a Share.
Find out that Brib'ry is no Sin,
Statesmen will thank thee for't:
Make Lying and Deceit divine,
Thoul't get a Place at Court.
Find out Injustice to be just,
The Judges will commend:
Prove killing Men a gracious Deed,
The Doctors are your Friend.
Thus shall the People of this Land
Be from their Terrors freed;
And every one shall bless the Day
That thou hast learn'd to read.