15. A Practical Joke
BY WILLIAM BLACK (1744)
WE took barge to go on board the Margaret, then lying off
the mouth of the river. In an hour we were out of sight of Annapolis; at
four we were at dinner. Properly speaking some of us made but one
meal a day, and that lasting from morning to night.
The biscuit[30] barrel, standing
open upon deck by the pump, every other minute one hand or another
would be diving in it. You might hear our grinders like so many hogs
under a peach tree in a very high wind.
Towards the going down of the sun we saw a boat and canoe
fishing inshore. We hailed them with, "Have you got any fish?" They
returned with, "Have you got any rum?" We answered, "Yes, will you
come on board and taste it?"
Then they untied and made directly for us, but were very
much surprised with the manner of reception they met with. We had
the blunderbush[31] ready loaded and
aimed on the side while they were to board us. Mr. Littlepage, who was
to act the part of the lieutenant of a man of war, was furnished with
four loaded pistols and the like number of swords.
With his laced hat and romantic countenance he made an
appearance much like another
Black-beard.[32] Several more of our
company were armed each with a drawn sword and cocked pistol.
Several pistols, three fowling pieces loaded, and some drawn swords
were lying in view on a table on the main deck.
In this manner were we equipped and stationed ready to
receive the poor fishermen. When they
came near enough to observe our postures, they immediately lay on
their oars and paddles with no small concern to know what we were. In
a little time the ebb tide drew them alongside, and Littlepage asked
them in a sailor-like manner if they would come on board and serve his
majesty.
[33] To this they made no reply,
but kept gazing at us like so many thunderstruck persons. At last, with
a discharge of our great gun and small arms, flourishing our swords
round our heads, we asked them to come on board directly, else we
would sink them.
On hearing this, as if recovered from a trance, they called out
to one another with signs of the greatest fear imaginable in their
countenances: "Pull about! Pull about! for God's sake!" With all the
eagerness possible they set to pulling and paddling as if pursued by a
Spanish privateer.
A call was made to haul up the barge and man her. This being
done, Littlepage and myself got in with each a pair of pistols and a
sword and made directly after them. Upon this, they quickened if
possible their strokes, pulling for life directly to the shore. Now and
then one or other of them would look behind and then cry out, "Pull
away! Pull away! or we are all taken."
At last they gained the shore. As soon as their vessels struck
the ground they got their jackets on their shoulders, and without the
least care of their craft made directly for the woods. We were pursuing,
hallowing, and brandishing our swords, and they were flying with their
whole might, now looking behind them to see how near we were, then
before them to see how far they were from the shore.
It was a scene sufficient to create pleasure and a
laugh in gentlemen less blithe and gaily disposed than these honorable
commissioners. When they gained the land we turned and lay on our
oars (for all we wanted was to surprise them a little). As soon as their
fear and terror allowed them time to look behind, they rallied.
As they were now in safety on solid land and in some measure
freed from that dreadful apprehension of serving his majesty, they
opened on us all at once, like so many hounds on a warm scent. They
called us a parcel of scoundrels, and told us that if we would only come
ashore man for man they would teach us what it was to fire guns at
people and frighten them in so unaccountable a manner.
After exchanging a little
Billingsgate[34] with them we returned on
board, where we found the rest of our company very much pleased
with the adventure. Night appeared cloudy, and it looked very squally
when I betook myself to my cabin. In a very little time I got into the
drowsy god's dominions, where let me rest till you turn over the
leaf.
[[30]]
Biscuit—that is, ship's biscuit or pilot-bread: a
sort
of hard-baked big round cracker.
[[31]]
A blunderbush, or blunderbuss, was a kind of
large pistol, with a flaring muzzle.
[[33]]
The joke was to make the fishermen believe that
the jokers were members of a "press gang," a body of sailors from a
ship-of-war, out to sweep up seafaring men and compel them to serve
in the royal navy.
[[34]]
Billingsgate means abusive language.
